Sunday, February 25, 2007

Where do I start??

Well, let's start with the good news....I'm 32 weeks today!! HUGE, HUGE milestone!! Cole and Bella were born at 32 weeks, 2 days (just barely...they arrived shortly after midnight!) so I think I'll be even more thrilled if I can get past that point. Every morning, I challenge myself to get through another day of OB told me that for every day these boys are inside me, they spend 3 less days in the NICU. I figured in just the last week, I've bought them 21 less days in the NICU....go me!

So the bad news...this week has been very challenging, to say the least. In just this one week, I've made 3 trips to L&D. First, there was the Sunday overnight stay for contractions. I already posted about a couple terb shots and got sent home on nifedipine. Then off and on Thursday, I was having contractions and by 2:30 pm, in just one hour, I had 8 off we went to L&D. Fortunately, they were able to get the contractions under control again with some more terb and the OB (same on from Sunday night!) increased my dosage of nifedipine from 10 mg to 20 mg and asked me to take them every 3-4 hours instead of every 4-6 hours. When she checked my cervix, she said it was still closed but she could feel Garrett's head pushing against it, which she said was concerning but not alarming since I wasn't dilated at all. So all was calm at that point....

Friday morning I went in for an ultrasound and the first thing the u/s tech went to measure was my cervix. So she's sitting there for several minutes looking at the screen and saying "hmmmm, hmmmmmm" and then she looked at me and said "there's really no cervix to measure". I said "what do you mean? I have to have a cervix" and she said "yes, but it's so short there's nothing left to measure" and then she showed me on the screen what she was looking at....she pointed out where my cervix is and where the birth canal is and then she pointed to Garrett's body and said "and he's right there at the opening". She called the radiologist to come look at the u/s, and in the meantime, she did the measurements on both babies. Garrett (baby A) weighs 4 pounds and Landon (Baby B) weighs 4 pounds, 5 wonder I'm feeling so heavy these days!! At this point in my pregnancy, Cole and Bella only weighed 3 pounds, 6 ounces and Cole was 4 pounds, 3 ounces!!! When they were born, Bella was still the same weight but Cole was 4 pounds, 8 ounces so I think these boys will be much bigger than Cole and Bella were by the time they're born, which is great! I have to say I felt such a huge wave of relief knowing they're both already over 4 pounds...they're already off to a great start.

The radiologist came in and she was really nice and I could tell she was trying hard how to discuss this with me without making me feel panicked. She explained that there was virtually nothing left to my cervix, that it was so flat that the only thing left for it to do was to dilate, if I wasn't already. And her main concern was that Garrett was right at the opening, very close to the birth canal. They had me go the waiting room while they called my OB to find out what I should do and within 5 minutes the radiologist came out and said I needed to go upstairs to my OB's office and she was gonna e-mail the report to my OB. I got to my OB's office and they had me lay down on a gurney, without telling me what the plan was. The only thing my OB said to me when the nurse was taking my vitals was she wanted to know if I drove myself or Tim was with me and I got this nagging feeling that she was going to send me to the hospital (at this point, I guess I was still failing to see how bad the situation was). As I was laying on the gurney, I was thinking she was gonna come in and either do an u/s herself or at least check my cervix but one of the nurses came in and started getting an IV ready for me. She was surprised that no one had told me what the plan was. So she said they were calling an ambulance to transport me to the hospital....I asked if Tim could just drive me and she said no, that they wanted to make sure I arrived at the hospital immediately and without any problems. They also didn't want me on my feet at all. I said "Gosh, you make it sound like I'm gonna go into labor anytime now" and she said "it sounds like you might be". Then I started getting a little panicked. My OB came in and explained that she was having me admitted to the hospital for the remainder of my pregnancy because according to the u/s I was already 100% effaced and because Garrett was so low in my pelvis, she said there was nothing stopping him from entering the birth canal should I start to dilate, if I hadn't already. I really wished she would've at least done a cervix check at that point but she didn't. She discussed a tenative plan with us but without knowing the definites it was hard to really take in everything she was saying. She said at this point it was just a matter of not being able to stop the contractions or my water breaking and they'd have no choice but to deliver the babies. But she was hoping to avoid that and hoping I could get another few weeks out of this pregnancy.

Off to L&D....when I saw the OB (the same one from Sunday night and Thursday), she laughed and said "now when you left here the other night, I said 'no offense, but I don't want to see you back here for another few weeks' and here you are again" was kind of ironic. She was just about to get off her shift so she came in to my room and said she'd bring in the next OB on call to introduce me and do a cervix check and see where we should go from there. They came back to the room a little while later and when the new OB checked my cervix she said it still felt like there was some consistency left to my cervix, that maybe I was about 70-80% effaced and maybe a fingertip dilated but the situation wasn't as serious as my OB had made it sound. She did say she could feel Garrett pressing against my cervix though and with his full weight pressing against it, there was some concern that things could change quickly. So my instructions were strict bedrest with no bathroom privileges....I got treated to using a little porta-potty next to my bed. I might as well have checked my humility at the door. I guess I should consider myself lucky that they didn't put a catheter in me!!!

Over the next few hours, I could hardly get any rest....I kept having contractions, some strong and intense, others very minimal...the nurses kept coming in to check the monitors and make sure I was okay...I had to keep taking the nifedipine every 4 hours...I could hear several different women giving birth throughout the night. And finally when I did manage to fall asleep, I put one of the pillows over my face to shut out the light coming in from the door and the nurse came in and poked at me and said "I wanted to make sure you were okay" if I was trying to suffocate myself???? I think I got a total of maybe 3 hours of sleep and they were not 3 consecutive hours....I found myself very close to tears wondering how I was gonna do this for another few weeks, let alone another few days. And I was really missing the kids...Tim had brought them over the night before to say hello to me and so they could see me and know I was okay. They both were very intrigued with all the wires and the monitors...Cole nearly shut down my IV at one point and Bella kept wanting to move the monitors on my belly and adjust the belts. The nurse was kind enough to bring them each some apple juice and some crackers, which Bella spilled all over the floor. In the morning, when I noticed the crackers on the floor, I burst into tears....and I kept hearing Bella in my head saying "Mommy's in the hospital having baby brothers".

So I got through the night and the nurses had changed shifts so I now had a new one and she told me the plan was for the OB to come check me and if my cervix still showed no change, even though I had been having contractions, she might release me home on strict bedrest. I can't even begin to say how hopeful I was feeling at that point!!! Several hours later, the OB came in and checked me and she said my cervix actually felt better than it did the night was still about 70-80% effaced but she could no longer get her fingertip in there...she also said it was very high and posterior, almost difficult for her to reach. And by staying off my feet and being virtually horizontal all night, Garrett had moved higher up and she could no longer feel him against my cervix. She said she was fine with releasing me to go home but I had to promise to stay on the strictest of bedrest....I could have bathroom privileges and I could take very quick showers but that was it. The rest of the time I'd have to be either on my side or laying in a reclining position so there was absolutely no pressure on my cervix. She asked if I was comfortable being released because if I wasn't and I wanted to stay, she said she was fine with that too....are you kidding me??? Of course I wanted to go home so I was ready to promise her the moon if it meant I could go home.

So I've been home now for almost 24 hours....Tim has me all set up in the bedroom, complete with my laptop, books, crossword puzzles, 2 phones, the tv, water bottles, snacks, all my medicines....I'm all set. And the funny thing is that I had less contractions last night than I did the night before....I think just being at home in my own bed and being comfortable and being able to get a good night's rest has made such a difference. And poor Tim has been playing nurse maid to me....he's been wonderful and hasn't complained at all. It does help that the kids are at my mom's house until tonight so he hasn't had the burden of taking care of them and me. This week will be interesting though and I'm sure he'll have to juggle things a little bit.

This week will be a huge deal to get through....I'm just taking it one day at a time. Heck, I'm taking it one hour at a time. I'm trying to stay positive and focused on keeping these babies in at least another 2 weeks until I can get to 34 weeks...that may or may not happen. I figure God has been watching over me and the babies throughout these last few months so whatever happens is what's meant to be. So here's hoping the next week will be nice and calm......

(Jen, if you're reading this, I sent you an e-mail re: dinner but I'm not sure if you got it. The dinner was out of this world...thank you SO much!!! The kids and Tim really enjoyed it too...what a treat!!!!! You are married to the best cook in the world!!)


Blake said...


You are doing so great. Not long now. I wanted to see if my username and password is working or not. I can't find where on earth I put my blog info...I have it in my favourites so there's no putting in a username & password.

Good luck to you & Tim and many hugs to all of you.

Blake said...

It worked. I wanted to add that Jerry, Blake and I are thinking of you guys and can't wait for the great news of Garrett & Landon's births.

Love ya tons.

Jen said...

I got your email and I am so glad you liked the food. Kevin of course says it was no big deal. Keep up the good work, not long now.

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr

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