Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Mommy needs a time-out....

This is what Cole and Bella said to me a few days ago. And I was happy to go on time-out....when they told me I needed to go on time-out, I was overjoyed and said "really??? for how long?? Does Mommy get 38 minutes of time-out???". I honestly think I confused them by my excitement. They were looking at each other like "huh? this isn't how time-out works...there's supposed to be tears, darnit". So I did my time-out in the same place they do their time-outs but obviously not for the 38 minutes I was hoping for! They both stood in front of me with their arms crossed with little evil smiles on their faces and then after about 20 seconds, Bella said "okay, Mommy, you're you know why you were on time-out?".

Okay, so here's the part that I'm ashamed to admit, the reason I was put on time-out, but hey I'm human....not one mother on God's green earth can tell me she's never done this. I got put on time-out because I said a bad word. I was pouring the kids some juice and it spilled and without thinking I said "oh shit". The minute it came out of my mouth, both Cole and Bella gasped and looked at me all wide-eyed like I had just committed the crime of the century. "Mommy, you said 'shit'"....I think they enjoyed that because it gave them permission to say the word back to me since technically they were pointing out something bad that I did. Could I argue with, not really. So I said "yes, Mommy said a bad word...I'm sorry, I really need to watch what I say". Oh but by then, they were already one step ahead of me, planning my punishment, which they decided would be the 20-second time-out. Should I have begged and pleaded with them that Mommy needed more time in time-out? I kinda feel like I got ripped off....I mean, when they get time-outs, I set the timer for 3 minutes and God forbid they even try to get up before those 3 minutes are up.

Other than Mommy having a potty mouth, things are going well...unusually well. Like the kind of "well" where I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. On Tuesday, I took all the kids to Costco with myself....I had to get out of the house. Garrett and Landon were whiny and Cole and Bella were at each other's throats over every little thing and so all I could think of was to get us all out of the house and I had to make a run to Costco actually worked out well. The babies sat in the front of the cart, munching on cheerios, and Cole and Bella sat in the back of the cart and munched on samples.

And then in the afternoon, we went to the park. Cole and Bella rode their bikes in front of me while I pushed the babies in their stroller. Garrett walked next to me the whole time we were at the park and Landon, my little risk-taker, decided he was gonna climb up the toddler play structure and then fling himself down the slide, head first. Each time he did it, he would laugh hysterically.

I'm not sure why suddenly it seems easier...perhaps it's the nice mix of Wellbutrin and caffeine I take daily or the fact that I'm getting great sleep these days (thanks to my other drug, Temazapam). I just feel like I'm handling things better (well, besides my occasional slip of a bad word in front of the kids)...I'm in better spirits and I think it rubs off on the kids. We're finally at a point where we're having fun.

The babies 1st b-day party is on, I can't believe they're gonna be 1 already. It's just crazy to me how fast this last year went by.

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I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr

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