Friday, April 11, 2008

I'm still tired...follow up to yesterday....

I posted yesterday while the babies were taking their afternoon nap and Cole and Bella were "supposed" to be watching a movie. Right after I was done posting, Cole came over and asked for some more fig newtons. He had already had 8.....I can't even eat 8 fig newtons in one sitting. So I told him he could have only 1 more and that was it (Good God, with that much fig in him, the boy is gonna be crapping for days on end as it is). He flew off the handle and started screaming at me "I want 3 more". 3??? Why 3??? I had no idea but I figured he was doing it to push my buttons, which was working quite well. I handed him 1 fig newton and told him that was it....after that, he could have an apple or some fruit but no more fig newtons. He totally lost it, started screaming even louder and then threw the fig newton at me! All I could think was "what happened to my sweet little babies who used to look at me like I hung the moon?"....oh yeah, they're preschoolers now....he ended up on time out. And he continued to cry for the next 45 minutes, saying how mean I am, how he doesn't like me anymore, how he wants me to go back to work and for daddy to quit his job and stay home with them (hmmmm, I was thinking "now that's not a bad idea, kiddo")....finally I dialed Tim's cell phone and told Cole "why don't you call Daddy and tell him how horrible your day's been" and he did. He cried into the phone trying to tell Tim how mean I am, how horrible I am...yadda, yadda, yadda....Tim had no clue what he was saying and he finally said "Sweetie, what is wrong with him?" and I said "he wants 3 more fig newtons and I only offered him 1 more and now he's having a cow..." All Tim could do was laugh and say he'd be home soon. Soon??? Soon was in about 3 more hours....I don't think Tim understands the concept of "soon". Does he realize that 3 more hours is really 180 minutes that go by slower than molasses??? Maybe 3 hours passes quickly for him but it certainly doesn't for me.

Finally, at some point, Cole got tired of crying and he finally laid his head on my lap and said "I don't wanna cry anymore". I guess there is some validity to ignoring children when they're in meltdown mode. The babies were up from their naps by now and happy as little clams so while I had them eat their snack, I made brownies with Cole and Bella. They were actually really good about taking turns pouring and stirring and finally the brownies were in the oven....and then we went out in the backyard to play.

They fought over the swings, which I'm not sure why because we have 2 swings. They were mad at me that I wouldn't push them higher ("because it's not safe"..."we don't care...push us higher NOW"). When did they become Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde before my eyes? Weren't they just happily and playfully making brownies with me in the kitchen a few minutes before this??

After blowing bubbles with them and watching them fight yet again over the 10 different bubble blowers they have, I made them all come inside. I had to get dinner finished anyway....I had chicken going in the crock pot all day and I needed to throw some biscuits in there to make dumplings. Bella wanted to help me so I let her....then she must have turned the crockpot off when I was washing my hands (right next to her!!!) was maybe about 15 minutes later when I noticed the crockpot felt cooler and I saw it had been turned off. OMFG!!!! How much worse can this day get? So dinner clearly wasn't gonna be done in time to eat it.

By this time, Tim came home and I told him about dinner....I asked him to make some macaroni and cheese for the kids and told him I was going out for about an hour to take some space. Bella got all sad and I told her "Mommy needs another time out" and she said "but why? Did you say bad words?" and I said "no, but Mommy is taking her punishment before she does the crime" and I said that more for Tim's sake than her sake, obviously. Tim just laughed....I said to him "no, I'm serious...I could easily wring their necks right now with my bare hands so I'm just gonna step away for a little while, go to Barnes and Noble and chill out with a magazine for about an hour and then I'll come home". He was totally cool with it...I think he realizes now that when I say I'm unhappy and need to take a break, that he needs to step up or life is pretty much gonna suck for him. His answer to everything is "oh, we just need to have just need to blow off some steam".'s not exactly my idea of a break....that's just more work for me with someone else hanging all over me, even if it's him and not the kids, it's still someone else needing something from me.

So I did...I left....for only an hour but it was enough time for me to calm down and gather myself and focus on something else other than taking care of the kids. When I came home, Tim was upstairs putting the babies to bed and Cole and Bella were in the family room. Bella said "Mommy, you're home!!! Did you take your time out in your car?"

Today I'm doing better....they're off at preschool today but they didn't want to go. I told them "you pretty much would have to be bleeding from your eyes for me to let you stay home today, after the day we had yesterday". They both sulked but went to school. And I finally got to focus on the babies, who I felt were pretty much on their own yesterday with all the focus being on Cole and Bella with the way they were behaving.

I keep reminding myself that this stage with the kids is only temporary...we're at an awkward stage where they all still need for me one thing or another. And the problem is, as I've been saying all along, I'm only 1 person trying to take care of the needs of 4 children. When I start to think "I can't do this", I think of the other moms of multiple multiples that I know and realize some of them have it more challenging than I do...a couple of them have their sets of twins only 13 months apart!!! Soon enough, Cole and Bella will be more independent and able to do more things for themselves and the babies will too...and I won't feel like it's a constant juggling act for me. At lunch time, I ran around the kitchen like a chicken with my head cut off, fetching juice for one child, cleaning up the spill on the floor from another child, making sure the babies food was replenished on their trays each time they ate what I put on there, making sure they were drinking their milk, fetching more juice after yet another spill...and then after the lunchtime loop is the diaper change/bathroom's like Groundhog day over and over and over again.

But it is just temporary....this is probably the hardest time I'll ever experience with the kids (well, maybe....parents of teenagers assure me that the teenage years are gonna kick my ass). During the roughest points, I tell myself that before I know it, they'll all be off to college and I'll long for these crazy, chaotic days again. I know I will, as crazy as it seems to believe now...

1 comment:

Joy said...

Glad to hear you got away, if only for an hour, that can do wonders. I so look forward to sending my four year old off to preschool every day. When we had a bunch of snow days where they didn't have school I thought I was going to go crazy. I was terrified of spring break, I thought by the end I would surely want to jump off a bridge. Somehow we always seem to make it through the endless butt wiping and "can I have more juice/milks"

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr

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