Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Well, happy freakin birthday to me....

Why is that if we want something from our husbands, we actually have to come right out and spell it out for them??? It's like if I want Tim to say the right things or do the right things, I need to write a script for him. I used to watch soap operas with jealousy thinking all those actors were so romantic until I realized that someone else was writing their lines and they were probably crappy husbands as well. Or maybe not but it certainly made me feel better to think that....

So today I turn 39....I can't believe I'm almost at the end of the 30th decade. I guess I don't picture myself being almost 40. I don't feel that old...well, sometimes I do, particularly when I'm at the park and I see all those young moms with the energy of the Energizer Bunny on crack chasing after their kids. Me?? I'm panting and huffing and puffing, screaming to my kids who are already 3 miles ahead of me "wait for the old fart, please".

Tim asked me the other day what I wanted for my birthday. It was my mistake to assume that he'd actually think of something on his own. I simply said "I don't know...I can't think of anything in particular". But I did mention that I was going to use the birthday $$ my dad sent me to have my hair highlighted. I guess I should've said to Tim "What I'd like is for you to take a couple hours off from work and stay with the kids so I can go get my hair highlighted on my birthday and maybe go out to lunch with my sister", who actually did call and offer to take me to lunch but figuring it would be too much work with all 4 kids, she's bringing lunch to me at home.

I don't understand why Tim thinks birthday presents have to be about material items. I don't want anything in particular, except to feel special. That's what birthdays are all about...celebrating your life and making you feel special, just this one day of the year (oh and Mother's Day, which he managed to royally screw up for me last year by again not planning anything or even saying "Happy Mother's Day"). Is it really too much for him to think of asking someone to watch the kids so maybe HE could take me out for lunch or dinner? Or offering to watch the kids so I can get out by myself for a little while?

He actually left for work this morning without even saying he was leaving. He said "happy birthday" and then walked out the door. No goodbye, no "don't worry about cooking dinner tonight, let me get take out so you don't have to cook"....nope...nada...zilch...and to think, I was actually planning on throwing him a surprise b-day party this year for his 40th birthday....I'm honestly second guessing my good intentions now.

And has my mother even bothered to call to wish me a happy birthday? No...she's usually the first one to call me bright and early. But not this year....I really think she forgot. But how does one actually forget their child's birthday??? Is it really possible?? I guess I was hoping she'd call and say "hey, would you like me to come over and help you with the kids today?".

Maybe it's my fault for having high hopes or even high expectations of my loved ones. Is it bad that I want to feel special just for one freakin day of the year? The only ones that seem excited about my birthday are Cole and Bella, who keep asking me to share their birthday with them. Kinda funny because I'm always telling them they share their birthday because their twins. Bella even keeps saying "Mommy, listen to my words...you have to share your birthday with me and if you don't I'm gonna take your birthday away and you'll never have it again". I want to say to her "please, be my guest...then I won't have to feel like shit that even my own mom doesn't think my birthday is special".

Oh woe is me....break out the violin.....


ines said...


I had no clue about today for you...it is my FIL's B-day today..and I have to call him too.

Your Mom has probably called by now...as for the hubby. Sorry about that. Mine began this behavior 2 years ago, after I had Mayita and just gotten pg with the twins. My first Mother's day was like your last one. Last year he got me a card because my sister made sure to mention thongs to him and make a BIG deal out of it.....but the card was from Maya, not him. Nothing from him....no Xmas, birthday, Valentine's...and I am not talking expensive stuff either. Just like you say, make ME feel special? Not a chance.

I sure hope that i the end, you have a very nice Birthday and that he eends up making you "eat your hat" so to speak.


ines said...

BTW, come to thnk of it, GT began this behavior way more thatn 2 years ago...and BTW, you are not the only naive sucker to throw surprise parties or just parties in honor of the DH with nothing "back" from them. which is NOT why we do it at all. It would just be nice to know that they ever spent 10 minutes worth of effort on us.

Michele S said...

Happy Birthday Dahling!

I don't wait for Greg to do crap for me. I've learned to make my own fun!

You want to go some where? Tim can handle it. Unless he's a little girly man!!

Heather Mary said...

Happy Happy Birthday my sexy friend!!!!!!!

Treighsie said...

Wow, are all guys the same or what? I turned 30 last year and I actually TOLD my husband a few times that I wanted to have a party. Well, he didn't do it. So when I was all upset on my birthday, he got some family together... that was NOT what I had in mind, not one of my friends was invited. Ugh. And didn't understand why I was upset.

I hope your mom called you... and I hope he makes it up to you on Mother's Day!

twinsX2 said...

Sheesh - we're in the same boat! I turn 31 April 15th and it has been 2 years since I got a gift from my hubby!! We have had 2 family members get Mother's necklaces from hubbys when their first baby was born and I stated VERY clearly that I wanted one when our second set of twins was born. They are now 6 months and I got nothin'. My husband says he is determined to do something this year. At least he recoginzes it I guess...

Anyway, happy belated birthday - at this point, just tell him you are going to get your hair done and he is watching the kids - done!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr

Blog Design by Likely Lola