Friday, May 30, 2008

Sickness, fevers and nightmares...oh my!

When is all this freakin illness gonna end in our house??? I thought Landon was getting better from his bout with pneumonia but yesterday he spiked a fever out of nowhere and he was cranky all evening. Garrett was cranky as well....they both woke up a few times in the night and both woke up in tears this morning. So not typical for my usually happy, outgoing little men. I don't want to go into the weekend not knowing what's going on with them (if anything) so I made an appt with one of our pedi's partners (since he's out today...the nerve of him to take a day off when one of my kids might be sick!!). Bella asked me last night "Mommy, are you sick too?" and I said "Yes, Mommy's sick of you all being sick"...she said "huh? what does that mean"....guess she's a little too young to understand sarcasm at its best.

I just want my kids to go one month without being that really too much to ask (God, are you listening? Or are you still laughing at me?) I feel bad for being so frustrated about this. But I'm being honest. I feel bad that the kids don't feel well....I'm exhausted....and I'm dying to get out of the house!!! How long can one stare at the same 4 walls before they are clinically diagnosed as insane?

Speaking of insane, a friend of mine who has a foster family agency here in town has called me again to see if I'm interested in coming back to work. He's willing to be flexible with my schedule....and the money would be good. Part of me feels excited about this possiblity....but part of me feels guilty about it. Mainly I don't even know if I want to return to social work/counseling/child advocate was a little bit easier to do the job when I didn't have kids. I could remain unbiased and sympathetic...but now that I have kids, I just don't think I'd be able to remain unbiased with those bio parents who have abused or neglected their kids. And then of course there's the guilt of having someone else watch my kids so I can return to work....I feel like it's selfish on my part to even have that desire. There's something so thrilling about being the first one to see my children smile, walk, talk....watching them discover something new that I might take for granted, like watching them catch a ladybug in their hands and letting it crawl all over them until it takes flight (and watching in total amazement as they scream "ladybugs can fly???"). I feel like it's such a privilege to stay home with them and be able to enjoy them now at this young age but part of me has a little craving to return to work....guilt, guilt, guilt....

So what's the latest with my munchkins, besides illness all over the place....Cole and Bella are learning so much lately. A friend of mine recommended I buy a DVD made by Leapfrog (or whatever it's called ) named Letter Factory so I did and they watch it every single day and now they recognize all their letters and the sounds that each letter makes. Why am I paying almost $600/month for preschool 3 days a week when they learn more from watching a DVD??? And some of the things that come out of their mouths just throw me for a loop....I don't think a day goes by that they don't ask something that makes me think "um, I better consult for the answer on that one"....thank God for the internet!!

Garrett and Landon are growing like weeds too....but Landon is obviously the bigger of the two. It's very noticeable when they're standing next to one another. Even though they're still not talking or making many verbalizations that make any sense, I can see their little minds at work. Landon loves to build things and put things together, esp legos. When he sees me bringing the legos out, he comes running over, screaming with excitement. Garrett just loves banging things together so he can hear the different noises they make. He also loves to knock over a tower of blocks that Landon took 10 minutes to stack.

The funny thing about them though is that they NEVER fight. At this point with Cole and Bella, I was pretty much playing referee all the time. They were biting each other, pulling each other's hair, scratching each other...not a day would go by where one of them didn't have a bite mark on some part of their body. And they very rarely listened to me....I'd take them to the park and they'd run away from me and I'd run after them screaming "come back here" while they laughed at me and continued to run. But Garrett and Landon completely listen to everything I say...if they touch something that they shouldn't all I have to do is say "no touching" and they're cool about it (most of the time). If I say "let's go bye bye", they let me put their shoes on and they head to the door, all anxious to leave, whereas with Cole and Bella it would take me 20 minutes to chase them down just to put their shoes on. And cleaning up toys??? These babies are masters!! All I have to say is "clean up, clean up, time to clean up" in a stupid sing-songy voice and they both help me put the toys away.

Well, gotta go get them up from their nap to head to the dr's office...I hate waking them up from a nap....little grumps....


MamáChanga said... sorry the kids are still sick. I know what you mean about the same 4 walls, makes me nutso. I'm off to look for that DVD now, thanks for the tip. Hugs & Blessings!

joy said...

Man...still sick?? Sorry, that really stinks. I hope they are all better soon. Sounds like your little guys are so sweet, doing what they're supposed to do *swoon*
Hope you can get out of the house soon with some healthy children.

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr

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