Monday, June 2, 2008

Count our family in that 2%!

I finally have an answer for when people ask me what the chances are having 2 sets of twins, which is almost inevitably asked by every stranger we encounter. My niece gave the kids her National Geographic for Kids magazine (it was from 2005...she's a little behind on the hand-me-downs) and I was flipping through it and found an interesting article on twins, called "Are Twins Mind Readers?" and the article talks about the twin connection in terms that little kids can understand obviously. In one section, it mentions a family who has 2 sets of twins and says "The Breen brood - representing just 2 percent of families who have 2 sets of twins...."

When people hear we have 2 sets of twins, they almost always say "wow, what are the chances of that?" and I always shrug and say "I don't know" and then of course they say "that's pretty rare, isn't it?"....again, I just shrug (but thank you for making me feel like a freak of nature). Well, now I have my answer....we are part of the 2% of families who have 2 sets of twins.

Honestly, I think what intrigues most people is how we ended up with 2 sets of twins. Sometimes if they really wanna know, I'll tell them the whole story....our 1st set were conceived on our 3rd IVF cycle...and our 2nd set were a God-given miracle. We were told we'd only have a 1-3% chance of conceiving a take-home baby without medical assistance....who'da thought, right? My cycle buddies sometimes ask if I've ever contacted our RE to show him pictures of my 1-3% chance (Garrett and Landon) and I actually never have.

I also can't count the number of times people have said "you should write a book"....what, about having 2 sets of twins? Personally I think Kate Gosselin with her 2 sets of multiples is more interesting. Just when I think "I don't know how I'm gonna keep up today", I think of her and think if she can do it, I can do it....but then again, I don't have 10 volunteers doing my laundry, cooking meals and watching my kids for me every single day. Trust me, I'd look totally different if that were the hair wouldn't be almost down to my ass because I haven't cut it in 3 years and it also wouldn't be up in a ponytail every single day because I'd have time to style it (funny story...I wore my hair down the other day just for a change of pace and the babies looked at me as if I were a total stranger), I'd wear make-up all the time....right now it's all about powder, bronzer and mascara. Oh and I'd also have stylish clothes because I'd have time in the morning to select clean clothes that match. Right now, I just grab what I assume is clean clothes out of the laundry basket that sits on our bedroom floor and I'm lucky if the clothes match and I'm even luckier if all the stains have washed out. This morning I'm sitting in a white t-shirt (yeah, call me crazy for wearing white with 4 children, all 3 and under) with an old blood stain that never completely washed out from when Garrett got a fat, bloody lip at the park because some big bully kid ran him over...and I have on a skort that I bought ages ago (I guess I should be happy that it still fits). Tim loves to come home from work every day and comment on all the stains on my shirts....I keep telling myself this is just a phase. There will be a time when I can get through a day without getting someone's snot, boogers, puke, or someone's meal on my clothes. The day will come, I'm sure.

So writing a book...maybe someday. I've kept a journal from our very first IVF cycle all the way up until now...I've included all the details of our TTC journey (and I mean, ALL the details...even the nitty-gritty stuff). And every once in awhile I go back and read through it and I find myself laughing out loud at certain times and I find myself actually crying real tears, especially when I read an entry where I remember my heart was so broken that I never thought I'd be able to breathe again. I felt it all...the anger, the desperation, the sadness, the heartbreak, the denial. And I also felt the good parts...the joy, the happiness, the being on Cloud 9 feeling. I'd do it all over again too if I had to, if it meant I'd be where I am today. Honestly, I would.

We took the kids to Marine World yesterday (just Cole and Bella) and we ran into a couple who had identical 2 yr old twins. The mom asked "so does it get easier when they turn 3?" totally reminded me of when my kids were younger and I'd see other twin parents out there with older twins and I'd ask out of desperation "does it get easier?". I remember when Cole and Bella were about 8 months old and we took them to the State Fair and we ran into a lady who had 8-yr old twins and when I asked if it ever got easier, she actually snorted when she laughed as she said "oh the first 5 years are pure hell". Yeah, thanks, lady....way to encourage a newbie twin mom! So now I be sure to keep that in mind when other twin parents ask me that same question...I always say "it doesn't necessarily get easier but it gets different....there are definitely lots of pros to get them getting older and more independent". When I say that, I usually see what I think is a gleam of hope in their eyes. I'm sure the same gleam of hope that was in my eyes when I was at that stage.


joy said...

I'm sure all of the questions can be so irritating! :) It's really interesting though and would be a good subject for a book. I've enjoyed your writings and read your journal over at TTC for a long time. I almost feel like I know you LOL
Only 2% of people living with 2 sets of twins...interesting! :)

Michele S said...

I bet nobody asks if yours are "natural" anymore, do they? They probably assume you just pop out twins every couple years!

I wish I had the Gosselins help too. She's a big old crybaby and used to post on the TC, whining about all her help. OH PUHLEEZE!

Okay, I hope yours are finally better. I'm just going to make an appointment at the doctor's every day this week.

Morgan said...

It seems like it would be cool to have twins. Stressful, but cool. Two babies for the cost of one pregnancy sounds like a good deal to me ; )

You probably will have quite the book by the time your kids graduate!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr

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