Monday, June 30, 2008

The mother of all tantrums...

Doesn't Bella look so sweet and happy in this picture? I took this yesterday morning when she decided that instead of dressing in a tank top and shorts, she'd rather wear one of her sparkly princess outfits. Fine with me...I've learned to pick my battles. And of course she had to drag her brand new Diving Barbie with her everywhere because "all princesses are best friends with Barbie" (come on, Mommy, you know THAT).
Princess Bella had a good day and even fell asleep watching ET (wow, doesn't that take me back in the day?? Man, I'm OLD) She and Cole love this movie...we discovered it was being played over and over one day on an ET Marathon on one of the cable channels and I DVR'd it so now they want to watch it all the time. They both love to stick their pointer finger in my face and say (in their best ET impression) "Mommy, phone home" was cute at first, now not so much. No, Mommy, doesn't want to phone about Mommy phoning a babysitter to come watch all of you so Mommy can go to a bar and drink herself into oblivion??
Anyway, where was I?? Oh yeah, so Princess Bella got a nice little nap, which should have put her in an awesome mood (or as Cole would say "a FANTASTIC mood"). Once the little twins woke up from their nap, Tim and I asked the kids if they wanted to go to the play area at the mall...Cole and Bella screamed "yes" and the little twins both ran for the garage door and started yelping "uh, uh, uh". After taking 30 minutes to get everyone ready (I'm not exaggerating about the 30 minutes.....try getting 2 babies changed into new diapers, getting shoes and socks on them, begging and pleading with 2 preschoolers to go potty threatening them by saying "the mall has NO bathrooms so you better go now", getting them to get their shoes and socks on, packing the diaper bag with extra diapers, wipes, extra clothes, snacks, sippy cups, pacifiers and getting everyone buckled into their I make it seem as fun as it sounds?), we finally head off to the mall.
Just by listening to the banter between Cole and Bella in the back of the mini-van, I should've known that things were about to erupt.
Bella: Cole...Hey Cole....Cole....Hey Cole....
Cole: *completely ignoring her*
Bella: Hey Cole, I'm talking to you....
Cole: *still in la-la land*
Bella: Mommy, Cole's ignoring me....
This continued the whole way to the mall. Good times?? Oh, it's about to get better. Once inside the play area, there were tons of kids there and thank goodness for that because that meant that Tim and I actually had a shot in the dark chance of sitting on our asses for maybe 5 minutes while all the kids played with one another and found some new friends to play with. Cole immediately found a little boy to play with and they spent the first 20 minutes chasing each other around the play area. Bella found a little girl to play with, whose older sister (probably around the age of 10) came up to me and said "what happened to her arm?" and I said "it's a birthmark called a hemangioma". She looked closer at Bella's arm and said "are you sure? That's a pretty big birthmark. Are you sure she wasn't in a fire because it looks like she got burnt up?"....I just smiled and said "She was not in a fire, I can assure you of that".
After awhile the play area started emptying out and there were only a few kids left but we still had about a good 25 minutes before we wanted to take the kids over to the food court for dinner. One of the kids Cole had played with had left and had given him a little red balloon that she had been playing with. So Cole was off playing with this balloon, throwing it up in the air and catching it. And Princess Bella wanted to play with him...she went over to him, said something to him and he said something back to her. Next thing I know, she explodes into tears and comes running over to me...."Cole, won't play with me!!" so I called Cole over and asked if he wanted to play with her and he said "No, I want to play by myself". This only made Princess Bella cry even harder. Full on tantrum mode at this point. But I can't say I blame her...her little feelings had been hurt and she even said so much. "Cole hurt my feelings"...she's very sensitive and always has been. Cole went back to playing by himself and I tried my best to explain to her that he had the right to play by himself if he wanted and she had to respect that. I asked her to give him a few more minutes and then try to see if he would play with her then. She waited, then asked again, he said "no" and she cried...and I'm talking hysterics to the point where her face is turning red and everyone's looking at us. She cried "Cole won't play with me and he won't talk to me either". Then Cole came up to her, stuck his finger in her face and said "I'll talk to you but I'm not playing with you, okay?"....she just cried even harder. Nothing I could say would console her...simply put, she was broken-hearted that her twin brother wanted nothing to do with her. All I could do was hold her on my lap while she cried, as she watched him play by himself.
This is the part of parenting that is the biggest challenge...what do I say?? I feel like the right words don't come to me at the exact point in time when I need them. I wanted Bella to feel better but I also understood Cole's need to play by himself. They are always together...they share a room, they share meals together, they take baths together....heck, they even go potty together. They are inseparable so I can see where she would be hurt that he needed some space. Looks like I'll be heading to the "parenting/education" section of Borders next time I visit. Why for God's sakes don't kids come with manuals?!


Christy said...

Do Cole & Bella cry when the other one is seriously hurt? Abby has recently started having an absolute meltdown if Parker (her twin) gets hurt - only really hurt - or if one of the babies gets hurt.

As always, I just love to laugh and cry as I read your blog. Thanks so much for that!!

Supermom said...

Hi thre! Thanks for commenting on my blog! We do sound alike I see! LOL
I have you now in my favs as well. We'll have to keep in touch!
Michelle :)

Helene said...

Hi Christy, that is adorable that Abby has so much empathy and compassion for her twin and the babies!! I hate to say that Cole and Bella are usually responsible for the other one being hurt so the only tears they cry are "I'm sorry I got caught" tears!!!

Hoity Toity Baby said...

I didn't even think that that would be/could be a posibility. That Jake and or Delaney wouldn't want to play with the other. Oh my I need a drink...and quick!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr

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