Wednesday, July 30, 2008

And the award for the Worst Mother in the World goes to....

ME?! Oh really, no you shouldn't have....what an honor! Four years in a row now!!! I'm so humbled. I guess my acceptance speech would be something like, "Well, let me start off by thanking my 4 kids for making it so easy for me to be 'worst mother in the world'. Not a day goes by that I don't question my mothering abilities and I have them to thank for it. I'd also like to thank my husband, who offers as much support and encouragement as he can but also realizes it's an endless and thankless task. And, last but not least, my mother and my MIL deserve recognition, with their constant unsolicited advice and judgement. Thank you for always knocking me down when I could really use a lift up."

Okay, so I don't really consider myself the World's Worst Mother all the time, mainly because I'm not beating my kids senseless or starving them. But sometimes I just do dumb things and then I feel like I've traumatized my kids in some way.

For example, a couple days ago, I gave Cole and Bella some milk to drink before bedtime. Cole took a sip and insisted it didn't taste good but Bella said hers was fine. I figured he was just being difficult and I told him to stop fooling around and just drink the milk already. He tried another sip and said "it's yucky". I didn't bother to try the milk because I don't like milk and just the tiniest taste of it would make me wretch. So I asked Bella again if her milk tasted okay and she said yes and she drank all of it. Later that night, Bella had a bit of tummy-ache but then she went potty and said she felt better. The next morning Cole is still refusing to drink the milk and I smelled it and it smelled okay. Bella drank her milk just fine again. I felt, at that point, that Cole was just trying to manipulate me and avoid drinking his milk so I pretty much sat there with him until he drank all of it. And he made faces the whole time like he was gonna pass out or puke. Same thing that night....I told him he needed to drink his milk before bed. The next morning, Tim got them each a glass of milk and noticed that the milk was clumpy...OMG, I had been making my kid drink bad milk!!! Because Bella never complained about it (yet had little tummy aches a few hours after drinking each cup), I never gave it much thought the milk could be bad and it did smell okay. It was probably in the process of turning bad and then finally it just curdled on day 3. I apologized profusely to Cole and Tim just stood there shaking his head as I cried to him, "I can't believe I made him drink bad milk...I sat there and forced him to swallow each sip....I totally suck as a mother". Strike #1 on my record....

Today while we were at the park, Garrett pooped (thank God I had thought to throw a couple diapers in the bottom of the stroller!) and so I put him on the grass and started to change him. He kept trying to wriggle away from me and he would NOT stop crying. I was getting frustrated and the more frustrated I got, the more he'd try to wriggle away from me. I had to also try to keep an eye on Landon, who was still in the sand pit playing with some other kids. Another mother walked by me and she said "I think he's crying because you have his legs lifted up and the sand from his shoes is falling into his eyes". Sure enough, she was right. No wonder the lil guy was crying and trying to get away from me. Strike #2 on my record....

We have a few different types of sunscreen that we use and one of them happens to be a spray. Yesterday, before we went outside to play in the blow-up pools, I was putting sunscreen on the kids. Cole grabbed the spray bottle from the floor while I was busy finishing putting sunscreen on Landon. I should've told him to put the spray bottle down but I didn't and just as I thought "I should probably take that away from him before he sprays himself or someone else in the eye", he sprayed himself in the eyes. And as I quickly tried to splash water into his eyes, he cried saying, "I was just trying to spray my arm, not my face". In the meantime, while I was tied up in the bathroom with him, I had forgotten to pick up the sunscreen spray bottle because I was in such a hurry to get Cole's eyes cleaned and....yeah, we all know where this is going, don't we....Bella picked up the bottle and sprayed Landon in the face. Strike #3 and #4 on my record....

So maybe 4 strikes isn't so bad in general but this was all in a matter of TWO DAYS. Sometimes I wonder if things like this happen because I'm spread so thin between the 4 of them. Okay, the milk thing...well, I guess I can't use that excuse....but the other things clearly happened because I was trying to do something quickly, while keeping an eye on the others, and it just totally backfired on me. Mommies are the ones who are supposed to make their children feel safe and protected, not be the ones who actually make things worse, which is what I feel I do most of the time.

Alright, sob story over....I guess all I can do is slow down and THINK before I do things. And try not to beat myself up over the things I have done. Motherhood is a learning process....no one starts off as Supermom, right?

7 comments:

Supermom said...

(((((Helene)))))

Awwww you poor mommy. It happens to all of us. Promise. Just know we are doing the best we can at any given moment.
Michelle :) Believe it or not, I wasn't born with this cape.

bonnieearly said...

Heh heh heh, I shouldn't laugh at your pain but I'm laughing with you. I can stand right next to you on the award podium. My kids have drunk rotten milk, gotten sunscreen in their eyes, and I'm sure have had sand in a few places where sand shouldn't be. Laugh at yourself Helene. This time with our kiddos is short and making mistakes is part of the fun. Hugs!

joy said...

I wonder how many of those they give out a year because I thought I was the one who has one that award the last 7...yes 7! years in a row.
The worst incident was when Sanura complained of a tummy ache and I was convinced she just didn't want to eat her dinner so I made her eat some and then she threw it all up in her bed that night. I felt like a huge jerk. There are many many more examples of things like this, you are NOT alone!

screamish said...

aw no dont worry! It made me smile in fact (I know its easy for me to say) but Ive heard similar stories from a dear friend ...I think the last one was she was ranting and raving at her 2 year old for chasing the chickens and she broke a bag of chicken feed all over him by accident, poor little boy was more confused than anything but she was mortified....

I think all Mums do these things!

I'm a bit nervous about my own future performance actually, I think if I ONLY spray my child's eyes with sunscreen I'll be lucky!

I have fears of leaving them on the bus, for example, stuff like that, or forgetting I have two....

you're doing fine!!!!

Christine AKA Mommie2My3girls said...

Don't worry Helene, we all do things like this. As I write I am happy to say that my 14 yr old experiment child is safely at work in a pediarician's office and seems to have no ill effects of the formula she was allergic to and I made her drink for 4 months, clothes that didn't fit right, many illnesses, tardy days at school because my alarm just didn't go off. Sunscreen anywhere and everywhere it shouldn't have been and the worst was this year on vacation when I put sunscreen on the baby 3 times and neglected the bigger kids thinking they were smart enough to put it on themselves. They all three burnt horribly. Believe me girl there are many more accidents, mistakes and mommy blunders to be made. Many hugs ! Just wait the better years will be here before you know it!!

Kim said...

You're actually doing your kids a big favor . . . when they're all grown up, they'll be able to say to their own children, "Quit yer cryin'! You think broccoli is bad??!! My mother used to make me drink glasses of rotten milk! Now EAT YOUR VEGETABLES!"

angie said...

Definitely happens to all of us. BUT, in your defense, it happens worse to you because you have two sets of twins. I have 3 singletons and my last are twins, and I can tell you that 3 singely don't even come close to adding up to two at once. And you've got 2 sets of 2. So, I'm sitting here thinking you MUST be one of the most incredible moms around.

AND, thank you so much for commenting on my blog!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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