Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Arguing for the sake of arguing!

Cole and Bella fight like cats and dogs! Is it a twin thing, a sibling thing or just the plain fact that they are of different genders?

This morning the fighting began almost immediately upon them waking up. And the fights were over the littlest mundane things, like Cole being mad that Bella also wanted french toast for breakfast and Bella teasing Cole that he needs a haircut. Sometimes I think they fight for the pure enjoyment of fighting or, simply enough, to send me over the edge, as I was very close to being with them this morning.

Yesterday they had an argument while watching Sesame Street. There was a scene with Big Bird and the number 0 where the two were engaged in a conversation and Cole kept saying "letters can't talk". Bella insisted that letters obviously can talk because there it was plain as day that what they thought was the letter O was talking right there on the tv. Within 2 minutes, they were embroiled in a huge argument over this. It started all over again this morning when they happened to catch a little bit of Dora the Explorer on tv and Cole said "trees can't talk" and Bella again said "yeah they can...see", as she pointed to the talking tree.

On the drive over to their preschool, they were arguing again in the car. I had told each of them they could pick one class to sign up for that was being offered by the city's parks and recreation department. Cole chose soccer and Bella chose ballet class...surprise, surprise! Here's the argument that took place in the car:

Cole: I'm going to play soccer and you can't come and watch me

Bella: I don't care, I don't want to watch you play soccer. You can come watch me do ballet.

Cole: Okay, I'll watch you do ballet but you still can't watch me play soccer.

Bella: I want you to come watch me do ballet.

Cole: I said I would.

Bella: (starting to cry) I want you to watch me do ballet.

Cole: OKAY!

Bella: Mommy, Cole said he was gonna come watch me do ballet.

Me: You told him you wanted him to watch you and he said he would...and your problem is.....?

Bella: I want him to watch me

Cole: I said I would

Bella: See, Mommy, he's trying to get me mad and now I'm getting frustrated with him

Me: Bella, I don't said you wanted him to watch you and he agreed that he would so what's the problem?

Bella: I want him to come watch me and he said he would

Me: OMG, do you all just argue for the sake of arguing?

Cole and Bella (in twin unison): Yes

Okay, there it was broken down for me in simple terms...yes they argue for the sake of arguing. And the rest of the drive over to preschool, they continued to argue over everything under the sun. At one point, Bella stopped and said to Cole "stop arguing with me for the sake of arguing".

I asked them "do you both think you could get along for just 5 minutes?" and in unison they both said "NO". And then Bella told Cole that she no longer considered him her twin...he cried....she laughed....he cried harder....she laughed harder.

Do these kids ever stop? Will it always be like this? I thought the whole thing about twins is that they are supposed to best friends and have a bond that is indescribable. I suppose I shouldn've known it might be like this when each time we went in for an ultrasound when I was pregnant, they were even fighting in the womb.

As I dropped them off at preschool, they each greeted their friends who were already in the class. Bella immediately wanted to play dress up with her friends and Cole said "no one wants to play with you" and she said "Oh yeah they do...go play with your trains because no one likes you". I looked at the teacher and said "they're all YOURS...good luck".


Mommie Mayhem said...

No it never stops. At least not in this house. I pray everyday that it will ... but no such luck LOL

IAmDenise said...

haha Helene oh man the joys! Have fun with them and just think soon you get to have Garett and Landon fighting like that too

Christine (Mommie2My3girls) said...

Aww Helene I feel for you I had my son 5mos and a 7mo old yesterday and I was glad I got to give one back! You have all my respect girl!!

Mekhismom said...

Kids say the funniest things - and are so smart too! And with two sets of twins I am sure that you have so much more to say about your experiences!

Annette Piper said...

Oh my, I'm giggling away here after reading that.

Yes, they're twins but they separate people (oh boy, are they!) AND I agree that it is partially the boy/girl thing.

My son was absolutely stunned when his girl cousin would come and play imaginary games (eg play tea set) - he watched her questioning, took the proferred cup, looked in it, looked at her and said "there's nothing in it". "Yes there is, there's tea - drink your tea". He looked again. "No there's not - there's nothing in it".... He was in to REAL things (like Cole = trees don't talk).

My identical girls hardly ever fight. But when they do they stand nose to nose and scream at each other. For about 5 minutes, then one will run away. Another 5 minutes and they're playing happily side by side again.

Cynthia said...

OMG - at least they are honest about it! Nothing worse than listening to it while you're driving though. Good luck!

screamish said...

hmmmm....I don't know if I need to know this! Im comforting myself with the idea that they'll be their own best friends!!!

I hope!

Nice blog...I like the belly photos....yes you were really that big! So am I at the moment, I can hardly believe what we get used to....!

Petula Wright said...

BIG SIGH! I am, again, feeling your "pain!" Although my son (4) and daughter (3) aren't twins they argue too. Amareah will say stuff just to get on Andre's nerves and he immediately starts to cry, whine or yell AND participate in the fight. She acts like she gets satisfaction from it. So, I think it's a sibling thing and a girl/boy thing.

joy said...

I used to baby sit my nephew on a daily basis for about a year and a half and he and Sanura fought so bad! I fought with my brother until we started having children LOL

joy said...

OMG, that looks as though I just said I was having children with my brother...I mean until we started having children, with our spouses....

Jae said...

No no, dear, it never stops. At least, as of age 6 I can surely say this. ;) They ARE each other's best friend and built-in playmate. BUT ... They have sibs, and that causes fights too ... it's hard, but it's fun a lot of the time. Hang in there!

Thank you for the birthday wishes too!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr

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