Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Missing my pregnant belly....am I crazy?!


A good friend of mine just had a baby and the whole time she was pregnant every time I'd see her, I just had this urge to touch her belly. Normally I'm not a pregnant-belly-toucher-type-of-person but everytime I'd see this friend, her belly was just so beautiful that I could not resist touching it. Each time, I'd say "looking at you makes me miss being pregnant" and then I'd say "did I really just say that outloud?"

The first picture is when I was 29 weeks pregnant with Garrett and Landon. The second picture is when I was 32 weeks pregnant. When I look at both of these pictures now, I can't believe my belly was really that BIG! It looks so foreign to me. How is it that 2 babies fit in there at the same time?!
It completely boggles my mind!!














Now don't get me wrong...this in no way means I want another baby. Are you freakin kidding me? 4 kids is my limit for sure. I have no doubt in my mind about that! But I think what I miss the most is that feeling of being fully pregnant, knowing I was growing 2 lives inside me. I remember complaining plenty of times (okay, let's be honest here....complaining every waking minute was more like it) about how uncomfortable I was, especially when Garrett who was our Baby A kept kicking me in the cervix, repeatedly. When I was 14 weeks pregnant with them, I felt their first movements and I cried...just so thankful to be pregnant again and relieved that I could finally feel them moving, a inner sign that told me they were doing okay in there. But then there did come a time when it started to hurt every time they'd move or roll or kick me and I'd whine about it and a good friend of mine said "you just wait...there will come a time when you miss every minute of it". I knew she was right because she had said the same thing to me when I was pregnant with Cole and Bella. 18 months after I had them, I was already aching to remember what it felt like to have them inside me and to feel even their tiniest kicks.

Bella once asked me why we have belly buttons and I told her that it was our connection to one another when she was in my belly and I tried to explain to her in the simplest of terms that she had a cord that connected to her belly button, which was a way for me to provide life to her as she grew inside me. I remember she just stood there looking down at her belly button and touching it and she asked "Where's my cord now?" and I told her that the doctor cut it off when she was born and made her a belly button so she could always remember that physical connection we once had. Then she asked "so we're not connected anymore?" and all I could think of to say was "we're connected right here", pointing to my heart.

And perhaps that is what I miss the most about being pregnant....the babies were always safe inside me where I could listen to their heartbeats on my doppler all day long if I wanted to or I could lay still on the sofa with my hand on my belly and feel them moving. But now each of them are not part of my body anymore and as the saying goes "Having a child is accepting that your heart will forever walk outside your body".....every parent knows this to be true.

9 comments:

Petula Wright said...

Yea... sometimes I think that too then I have to slap, pinch or shake myself. LOL. I have four children also, but all singles. The last three are so close in age that sometimes I feel like I have multiples.

I enjoyed reading that post... I popped over from Mom Bloggers Club.

Annette Piper said...

Isn't the size that you can get to with multiples scary! I remember it was like a parting of the red sea when I would walk into a busy shopping centre at about 36weeks. Everyone was just so AMAZED at the size of my belly that they got out of the way quick smart! I clearly remember going to the hospital for a check up towards the end and seeing another woman with a HUGE belly. We looked at each other and said "twins?" and nodded yes.... a moment of recognition.

Ahhh, you're making me almost long for it again too - but no way, I think I'll just stick to remembering it fondly...

MamáChanga said...

Awww, Helene, I know exactly what you mean & I never made it near as far as you did. I miss it every day and although I "wish, hope and dream" to be pregnant again someday, realistically I know that I will never be able to shake the fear of what we lived through happening again. Doesn't mean I don't miss, long for and dream about those little flutter kicks and karate tournaments that took place all within the confines of my body.

And then there was 4... said...

You are soo lucky!! I always miss being prego, maybe thats why I always do it again. I wonder if I'll feel done after 5 ( not that I'm pregnant).

bonnieearly said...

That first picture rocks. LOL (wink) I miss being pregnant until Chase start whining. He does it a lot these days. It's a great form of birth control.

MamaBriggs said...

Thank you so much for stopping by to viem my blog! Wow 2 sets of twins, what a blessing!

LOL about complaining every minute, I remember being so uncomfortable towards the end. I also remember listening to my doppler as well, it was such a comfort to hear their heartbeats when I had anxiety about the pregency.

Joy said...

You look great pregnant! :)
I don't miss it yet but then again Link is only 3 weeks old LOL

Mekhismom said...

What a beautiful post - I only have one and my dh and I are considering another. I truly miss the belly and the connection.

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