Sunday, October 26, 2008

It's definitely time to face the music...

So in my post before this last one, I wrote about Bella's weight issues and I received some very encouraging comments. Thank you so much for those...I felt so comforted reading them and appreciated many of you sharing your experiences about your children who have also been through this.

I took Bella in for the blood work that her dr requested....a lipid panel, as well as a thyroid check. I also had to have all my stuff checked too so we went together on Saturday to the lab. She was so brave while having her blood drawn but then afterwards, she started bawling. And of course seeing her cry made me cry...we were quite a sight, I'm sure. We both walked out with bandages around our left arms and we were both sobbing. I'm a huge wimp when my kids cry...it just makes me crumble into a million pieces.

I got our results back via e-mail from the lab and, while my levels have improved in the last 3 months, Bella's were quite shocking.

Total cholesterol: 212
HDL: 48
LDL: 144
Triglycerides: 100

I had to read her results three times for it to really sink in that this is very serious. Much more serious than just the issue of her weight. It's time to face the music and make some changes. I just kept thinking she's only 4 years old with these high levels, what does that mean for her when she's, say, my age? It made me wonder how much damage has already been done. I just felt so sad and I kept saying to Tim, "I feel so bad...I feel so responsible".

Her thyroid levels were fine, which is good, but it also means we can rule that out as something that may have been contributing to her weight.

Everytime I look at Bella now, my heart still feels so heavy over this. She's just a baby, really, and already having to face adult issues...she has no clue what any of this means for her health today and in the future. She's only supposed to be concerned with learning how to swing on the monkey bars and learning how to skip without falling. But I guess that's where my job comes in as her mother....to make necessary changes without making a big deal out of it or make her think she's done something wrong.

Everyday will be a challenge but I'm feeling encouraged, sad but encouraged. I've been on a special diet to lower my cholesterol and I've been having success so I'll start including some of those things with her meal and we'll just keep moving forward. Hopefully by this time next year, things will be very different.

On a final note, for some reason, the lab went ahead and ran some bloodwork that my ob/gyn had requested a few months ago. I had seen her for heavy bleeding every month and at the time she had suggested the Novasure procedure or a hysterectomy. She wanted me to wait until my next cycle and on day 3, get my FSH level checked. Well, I haven't had a period since then...how wierd is that? So it's been something like 4-5 months since I've had a period (totally not complaining at all!!) and I had e-mailed her a couple weeks ago to let her know why I hadn't gotten the bloodwork done yet. I got those results back with the other ones, with a nice little note from my ob/gyn (does she really work on Sundays??), "your FSH level is 32....since you haven't had a period in 4-5 months, we can assume that you are in early menopause". So I'm a 39-yr old woman in early menopause....as if the hot flashes and mood swings weren't enough of a sign??

Garrett and Landon really were conceived with the very last 2 eggs I had left. I know God has a sense of humor, obviously, but I guess in this case He also wanted me to out with a BANG.

17 comments:

Creative Junkie said...

omgosh, I can't believe a four year old can have cholesterol that high! Poor thing. I hope you're able to find a course of action with your doctor that works for her.

We're awaiting the blood results from our daughter's lab work as well. Keeping fingers crossed.

Supermom said...

Oh wow! Bella was so brave to get her blood drawn. :)

Her results are shocking. Please don't feel responsible. I know that with a few changes those numbers can change.

Menopause??? THUD

I hope you have a nice week.
Michelle :)

ParentingPink said...

OH, you are going through so much right now...makes my "up all night" crying thing look trite.

I know you are concerned about BElla, and rightfully so, but don't BLAME YOURSELF. It's easy for us as parents to blame ourselves for every challenge or difficulty our children face. But the reality is that you are a wonderful mom and you are doing the best you can. Isn't that really all children need? Parents that love them and will do whatever it takes to help them? You're doing a wonderful job. She'll get better with your help & time.

AT 36, I don't have any experience with the whole menopause thing, but having no period sounds like a wonderful thing to me! LOL

Kim said...

Wow. I just read "My heart is so heavy" and today's post. You always seem to have such a healthy perspective, I hope you won't let the guilt get you down. Sounds like all the food control issues you faced as a child with your mother have prepared you for this moment, and you'll be able to help your sweet little Bella get through this.

Congratulations on the pre-menopause. Maybe you, too, will now share in the joy of being called "Sir" by the teenagers.

Nina said...

My heart goes out to you. I couldn't imagine dealing with all of this with my child.
I am sure you will do all you need to for Bella and everything will work out just fine.
My prayers are with you.

Barb said...

Poor sweet thing. Big hugs to you!

Hajar said...

Aw, honey! It sounds very overwhelming to have so many things going on at once. I know you will need a boatload of inner strength to help Bella while managing everything else that's cropping up simultaneously.

twinmama said...

Prayers and hugs for you all. I hope you get some information and tools to tackle this.

Way impressed that Bella was brave enough to get the bloodwork! I just had bloodwork done on Saturday, too to check my thyroid and it isn't any fun.

Love the comment about going out with a bang! Hang in there!

Joy said...

How wonderful that God equips us with just the right experiences to deal with things in our lives. You know exactly what NOT to do because of your childhood experiences. I will be praying for you and Bella.
I'm a pro at making myself feel guilty. I've done it a lot with Adrian and his autism and Sanura had issues in school (social anxiety stuff) that I also blamed myself for. We are much harder on ourselves than we should be as mothers.

Doré said...

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I read both posts concerning this just now. It's a lot to take in, so I can't imagine what you are going through. I hope ya'll are able to find the right course of action to help sweet Bella! Good luck and you are in my prayers!

Michele S said...

Helene, I've blogged a couple times about Austin's weight. I'm keeping a very close eye on it. As you know, Greg has been heavy his entire life. Sarah and Austin are built like Greg. Gregory and Amanda are like me. This makes it really hard to find balance in a house where some of the kids have the metabolism of bears and some are like hummingbirds.

But I know that Greg has been unhappy all of his life with his weight. It's something that has dogged him since early childhood. I often wonder WHY didn't his mother do SOMETHING to help him when he was a kid? Why did she always give in and let him eat so much?

You know that you make all the fat cells you'll ever have in your life during childhood and adolescense. You never make more. So the more overweight you are as a child, the harder time you will have maintaining weight as an adult.

I'm going to do whatever I can to help Austin and Sarah maintain normal weights through childhood. I don't buy junk and they get one snack in the morning and one in the afternoon, but not always in the afternoon. I encourage healthy eating without EVER verbally saying what I'm doing. I will never ever make them feel bad about eating. I'm just going to encourage the right eating from the start.

You can do this Helene. You can make the good habits now that will follow her all the rest of her life. If there is anything I can help you with, please just ask.

You are an awesome Mom and I know you will get this under control!

Paula Constable said...

You are going through lots right now. I hope you are able to get more answers soon.

bonnieearly said...

Hey girlfriend. Sorry to hear about Bella's results. I just read your entry about their doctor appointment and the surgery consults. I want to give you a big hug. I'm anxious to hear what the nutritionist says you can do for Bella. Knowing you, you'll get this turned around in no time. Heck, we could all benefit from eating healthier right? Give Bella hugs from me and the boys.

jayd said...

don 't feel guilty about your little bella, i know it's hard for us as moms to want to take responsibilty when anything ever happens to our child- you are a good mom and everything will work out for you guys, thanks for your kind comment on my blog.

jayd said...

don 't feel guilty about your little bella, i know it's hard for us as moms to want to take responsibilty when anything ever happens to our child- you are a good mom and everything will work out for you guys, thanks for your kind comment on my blog.

Tabbatha Rose said...

Is the novasure like "her option"? I had an ablation to help my periods after that dang tubal. Had to do it twice tho to help. Menapause, we r the same age!! Can u pass that on to me?
Hang in there about Bella, it will all work out fine. You can find healthy fun meals online for her to try. When
i catch a breath I will see what I can dig up for you.
btw two sets of twins.....helpppppp!!! lol Jess went back to school and here I am with mine n hers.

Connie said...

You're doing everything right, everything you can do. You're being a "perfect patient" and Mom. One step at a time. I continue to keep you in my prayers.

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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