So in my post before this last one, I wrote about Bella's weight issues and I received some very encouraging comments. Thank you so much for those...I felt so comforted reading them and appreciated many of you sharing your experiences about your children who have also been through this.
I took Bella in for the blood work that her dr requested....a lipid panel, as well as a thyroid check. I also had to have all my stuff checked too so we went together on Saturday to the lab. She was so brave while having her blood drawn but then afterwards, she started bawling. And of course seeing her cry made me cry...we were quite a sight, I'm sure. We both walked out with bandages around our left arms and we were both sobbing. I'm a huge wimp when my kids cry...it just makes me crumble into a million pieces.
I got our results back via e-mail from the lab and, while my levels have improved in the last 3 months, Bella's were quite shocking.
Total cholesterol: 212
I had to read her results three times for it to really sink in that this is very serious. Much more serious than just the issue of her weight. It's time to face the music and make some changes. I just kept thinking she's only 4 years old with these high levels, what does that mean for her when she's, say, my age? It made me wonder how much damage has already been done. I just felt so sad and I kept saying to Tim, "I feel so bad...I feel so responsible".
Her thyroid levels were fine, which is good, but it also means we can rule that out as something that may have been contributing to her weight.
Everytime I look at Bella now, my heart still feels so heavy over this. She's just a baby, really, and already having to face adult issues...she has no clue what any of this means for her health today and in the future. She's only supposed to be concerned with learning how to swing on the monkey bars and learning how to skip without falling. But I guess that's where my job comes in as her mother....to make necessary changes without making a big deal out of it or make her think she's done something wrong.
Everyday will be a challenge but I'm feeling encouraged, sad but encouraged. I've been on a special diet to lower my cholesterol and I've been having success so I'll start including some of those things with her meal and we'll just keep moving forward. Hopefully by this time next year, things will be very different.
On a final note, for some reason, the lab went ahead and ran some bloodwork that my ob/gyn had requested a few months ago. I had seen her for heavy bleeding every month and at the time she had suggested the Novasure procedure or a hysterectomy. She wanted me to wait until my next cycle and on day 3, get my FSH level checked. Well, I haven't had a period since then...how wierd is that? So it's been something like 4-5 months since I've had a period (totally not complaining at all!!) and I had e-mailed her a couple weeks ago to let her know why I hadn't gotten the bloodwork done yet. I got those results back with the other ones, with a nice little note from my ob/gyn (does she really work on Sundays??), "your FSH level is 32....since you haven't had a period in 4-5 months, we can assume that you are in early menopause". So I'm a 39-yr old woman in early menopause....as if the hot flashes and mood swings weren't enough of a sign??
Garrett and Landon really were conceived with the very last 2 eggs I had left. I know God has a sense of humor, obviously, but I guess in this case He also wanted me to out with a BANG.
Who are you, really?
11 hours ago