Monday, November 10, 2008

I really was prepared...I was, I was, I was!

Today, I piled all the kids into the mini-van for yet another fun adventure to the mall's play area (why on earth is the preschool closed the DAY BEFORE Veteran's Day and the actual holiday itself?! When the teacher told me this on Friday, as she smiled and said 'I get to sleep in for 4 days straight', I wanted to cry). As I was about to put the mini-van into reverse, a piece of green paper caught my eye...it happened to be on the floor of the passenger side. I picked it up and it was the list I had made for Tim, almost 22 months ago, of the things I needed him to pack for me, should I go on hospital bedrest when I was pregnant with Garrett and Landon. I remember taking the time to make the list and hand it to him, making him promise me he'd keep it in a safe place just in case on one of my twice weekly dr's appts, I got sent to the hospital.

And, as it turned out, towards the end of my pregnancy, I was sent to the hospital quite a bit by my OB after appts or after non-stress tests (which actually caused me to have more stress). Each time, I'd call Tim and ask him if he had the list so he could bring me my stuff. And each time, he'd say "no, you didn't give me a list". I'd say, "Oh yes I certainly did....I handed it to you and said for you to put it in a safe place". He'd just sigh and say "well, I don't remember having it...so what do you want me to bring you?". As if I'm supposed to remember all 20 things off the top of my head during a very stressful time?? So I'd sputter off some things I could remember and inevitably he'd bring maybe 4 or 5 things (sometimes one of the things wasn't even anything I had requested). I remember calling him one morning after staying overnight in the hospital and screaming at him, "Do you know how hard it was for me to sleep last night without my beloved pillow....without having any chapstick for my extremely dry lips....are you sure you can't remember where you put the list?". Again, he'd swear I never gave him any such list.

So now I have proof....such a list did exist and he had placed it in the mini-van somewhere so well-hidden that even HE didn't remember where it was. I happened to find the damn list 22 months later. It must have ended up on the floor of the car when one of the kids was rummaging through either the glove compartment or the driver's console. I laughed to myself when I saw the list, thinking how much more comfortable and happy I would've been if he had remembered the list. Things like chapstick, my pillow, hairbrush, dental floss, toothbrush and toothpaste, nail clippers, magazines, crossword puzzles, my laptop, anti-persperant, tweezers and a mirror (I have no idea why I put that, except I must have figured that tweezing my eyebrows would kill some time while on bedrest), my cellphone charger and hair scrunchies. I also put the camera and the video camera on the list so we'd have it there ready to go should I be whisked off suddenly to deliver our surprise miracle twins.

Each time I was in the hospital, I was put on bedrest. Not allowed to get up, unless I had to use the bathroom, which was to be a very quick trip. And on a couple occasions, they took away my bathroom privileges and I was treated to using a little porta-potty next to my bed. But I guess that beats having a catheter shoved up into my bladder....I was saving that fun experience for the absolute last thing right before my c-section.

The same thing happened when I was pregnant with Cole and Bella. I actually had a bag packed...well, semi-packed...with a list IN THE BAG of the other things Tim was supposed to pack and bring to the hospital. Again, I was admitted to the hospital after a routine visit and I never got that bag delivered to me. Everyday he'd visit and slap his forehead and say "Oh I forgot the bag". Then they finally released me after a week and I said to myself, "I'm gonna pack that damn bag myself and put it in the car"....but after being home for 7 hours, my water broke and I could hardly think straight, let alone remember to pack the rest of the bag and bring it with me. I called the hospital to let them know we would be coming right back and the nurse said, "okay, calm down...you probably have some time to pack your bag and take a shower if you'd like" but I was convinced that my babies were gonna suffocate without any amniotic fluid or that I would suddenly dilate and they'd fall out of me while in the shower and I'd be on one of those Discovery Health Channel specials called "Women who Delivered their own Babies...in the Shower". We did remember the camera....I'm not sure how we remembered to bring that but we did. Good thing too, because I ended up having a c-section 4 hours later.

After being in the hospital for at least 24 hours before I had Garrett and Landon 6 weeks early, the doctors kept going back and forth on whether to keep me or release me. The nurse finally told Tim he probably had enough time to go home and get something to eat, PACK MY BAG (I had been fortunate enough that he had delivered a few things to me during the 24 hours I had been there, including my magazines and a canister of nuts...huh? why nuts? I have no idea), and then come back. During this time, the dr came back in, after reviewing the blood flow study that had just been done by an u/s tech, and said "we have to get these babies out as soon as possible...", as it turned out that Garrett (Baby A)'s umbilical cord appeared to have some problems and the dr wasn't sure if his blood and oxygen supply were being compromised and for how long it had been, if that were the case. So of course I'm freaking out....crying....trying to hold it together....and Tim isn't there. All because he hadn't remembered MY FREAKIN HOSPITAL BAG. He barely made it back to the hospital, camera in hand...and that was it, nothing else. No freakin chapstick STILL.

Garrett and Landon were delivered and thankfully, even though they were 6 weeks early, they were okay, especially Garrett. At that point, I didn't give a rat's ass about the hospital bag. I mean, who really cares about chapstick and hairbrushes when my insides have just been torn open, having had 2 human beings ripped out from my uterus, and my boobs are aching but I can't get the least bit of breastmilk to come out?? And I couldn't cough or bend over without feeling like my insides would explode out of my body through my incision, which the nurse ensured me would never happen in a million years....yeah, apparently she's never watched those DHC specials because I'll bet my life on it that someone in this world has done that.

In closing, I now have proof that I was prepared....that I did write that hospital bag list and I must have given it to Tim and he put it in the mini-van and totally forgot about it. Someday, I'll forgive him, for forgetting about the list...yet, being thoughtful enough to bring me a can of nuts. Because doesn't every woman want a can of nuts to munch on while on hospital bedrest??

14 comments:

Hajar said...

LOL! NUTS! He must have been feeling like one. ;>} My c-section was the absolute worst experience of my life! I wanted to chew all of my nurses up and spit them out too, because they were all jerks. We had our boys taken out at 38 weeks because they were both over seven lbs. and transverse and they had not even begun to descend... some of the women in my family never dilate and it appeared that I was not going to either. I was also contracting to the point I couldn't even walk most of the time, even though, at the time, I did not know that's what it was. I was just ready to get them out of me. So we went ahead and had the c-section. After all was said and done I was glad we did it - but I'll never deliver another baby at the same hospital - so help me God!

Elizabeth Channel said...

This is wonderful! You might consider a guest post or at least a few photographs on vanpan.com; we'd be honored to show the list in its true environs...

I don't get the thing about the nuts. H does that kind of thing, too. He'll go to the grocery store to get essential items like butter and bananas and get these Planter's nuts. Nobody ever eats them either...they just sit in the pantry.

Tina (mummifiedx5) said...

LOL Men! They're all the same :)Thanks for the chuckle!

Anonymous said...

That's funny that you found the list after all this time.

If he is anything like my husband though he'll swear that it doesn't proove you ever gave the list to him--just that it existed

ParentingPink said...

Aaaa, proof is the best sort of revenge :-)

I take my girls to the play place at our mall too. It's nice for days that it's chilly outside or if you want to hear tons of kids screaming at the top of their lungs non-stop...wait! That's no different than being home :-)

mrsbear said...

It's all his fault, yay. There's got to be some satisfaction in that. I don't know about you, but I love being right, however rare that might be. Loved hearing about your births, and I agree with you on the c-sections. I had one with my first and I was terrified my guts were going to fly out of me every time I sneezed.

twinmama said...

twindada did the same thing to me! All I wanted were my slippers, that's it. Just bring me my slippers because I don't want to wear cheap hospital socks...is that too much to ask for?

You should frame it and give it to him wrapped with a bow! :)

MAMA CEO said...

LOL! That is crazy! Check out your award on my blog!

Nina said...

That is funny! Don't men drive you crazy. I could tell my husband something 20 times and he would still deny it when he forgets to do what I ask. I just don't think he listens to a word I say. LOL...
I would be holding onto that note for a very long time. :)

Thanks for the advice on my blog. If your friend has any suggestions that would be great and I will try the baby center thing also.

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

LOL! I love that the list actually turned up now & you can prove it's existance. I had a list & a full bag went I went for my scheduled c-section with DS1. DS2 was a VBAC and I went into labor towards the end of an ice storm. We live 45 miles from the hospital. The only thing I thought to grab on my way out the door was my pillow.

Stacey said...

haha! finding those kinds of things is always sweet revenge! (but why are those things always where you never remember leaving them?)

barb said...

Great story!

Farrah said...

TYPICAL male!! LOL

Lisa said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!If I weren't so tired I'd keep going!

-Momma of 2 sets of twins :-)

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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