Thursday, January 8, 2009

What's so wrong about eating cake while watching Biggest Loser?

What's so wrong about not feeling guilty for eating chocolate cake while watching The Biggest Loser?

What's so wrong about serving my kids fish and telling them it's a new kind of chicken that only very special kids get to eat?

What's so wrong about sprinkling ground flaxseed on their yogurt and then saying, "oh look, there's chocolate sprinkles on your yogurt"?

What's so wrong about telling my husband on a Saturday morning, "I'm not feeling so good...I think I may need to lie in bed for a few more hours" and then curling up in my nice, warm bed while watching one of my favorite shows on Tivo?

What's so wrong about filling a cardboard box with crinkled paper and taping it shut and then announcing to the kids "wow, a package just came in the mail"....and then running to the bathroom to have some privacy while they open the package?

What's so wrong about giving my kids a glass of Berry Blast Metamucil and telling them "you gotta try this new juice I just bought for you guys", in order to get more fiber into their diet?

What's so wrong about telling the kids the DVD player in the mini-van is broken, so they'll have to listen to MY music for a change?

What's so wrong about setting the clock ahead by 20 minutes and telling the kids it's time for bed?

What's so wrong about telling my husband I need to run some errands by myself and then sitting at Borders sipping on a caramel mocha and reading a gossip magazine?

What's so wrong about conveniently timing my departure right around the same time that Garrett and Landon poop in their diapers and say "by the way, you might want to check their diapers...see ya later"?

What's so wrong about not answering my cell phone when he inevitably calls me, wanting to know how soon I'll be home?

What's so wrong about letting the kids take all the pillows off the sofa and make a fort while I talk on the phone with a friend?

What's so wrong about avoiding the laundry and the dishes while I write a blog post?

35 comments:

Lana said...

Oh my goodness!! I laughed so hard!! Absolutely NOTHING is wrong any of those! Especially where you tell them the fish is a new kind of chicken. Ill have to try that one!!

eight helping hands said...

There is not a single one of those that are wrong. I have actually turned the clock ahead a whole hour!
May I please join you at Borders for a mocha and gossip?
You crack me up, am I glad I found you through the comment club! :-)

Linda S said...

nothing, absolutely nothing...take 2 hours next time...and grab a nap in their chairs!

Jen said...

Nothing at all, except if you actually do feel a little bit guilty. Rememeber you are the boss, no matter what they think.

Although I have to say telling them it's chicken instead of fish is only a little creative. We used to tell our kids they were eating all kinds of exotic food. Alligator, dinosaur (I know they are extinct, but they didn't call me on it), ostrich, monkey brain stew, you name it my kids used to think they were eating it.

Now that they are 9 & 13, when they ask what is for dinner and I say Monkey Brain Stew, they just roll their eyes, and ask (with just a bit of exasperation), No really Mom what is for dinner?

No more fun....

Of course if your kids are picky or sensitive this could seriously backfire. Then you just have to tell them you were only joking it's really special chicken.

Stacy said...

You are my hero! I want to post this on my fridge so I can remember it, but then hubs will know the secrets!

newlyweds said...

Ha, Ha, Ha. Great ideas!!! I love the timing of the poop, that is hilarious. Nothing is absolutely wrong at all, all moms need a break!

MAMA CEO said...

H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S! Definitely a keeper! I wonder if all moms out there have that secret list of things they do! Ahhh...if only the dear hubbys knew what we really did all day long! HA!

Amy B said...

Umm...I see NOT one thing wrong with any of these...So when are we meeting up at Borders?

blueviolet said...

There's nothing wrong with any of that. Nothing at all.

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Thanks so much for the GREAT ideas!!!

Hajar said...

Tag, you're It.

Chris said...

I don't think there is anything wrong with any of those things.
Great post!

Hajar said...

It takes a lot of creativity to keep the kids eating the things they need and keeping your own sanity too.

Carrie said...

Love it, love it, love it! Thanks for making my night! I needed a good laugh, and you sure gave it to me :)

Stesha said...

Thanks for sharing these wonderful, and I do mean wonderful tips. Will visit often.

Christine said...

Nothing wrong with that!! Your post made my morning!! Are you available for parenting hints? lol Good thing I can't find your email on your blog. He he!!!

LaurieJ said...

I love this post! It all sounds very familiar :-)

Claroux said...

This post is AWESOME!!!! I could SO relate to SO many of those! And there is NOTHING wrong with any of them! In fact, I plan on stealing some of your secrets like the flax seed and metamucil)! Here's my guilty pleasure: sometimes, on days that the girls are at day care, I call out from work and don't tell ANYONE. I either go home and sleep or I drive to some stores that I could never go to with the girls and wander around for hours - trying on shoes and drinking yummy coffee! We've all got our little tricks, huh? LOL!!!!

Creative Junkie said...

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Cant Hardly Wait said...

I love the "new package" thing. It's all about the smoke and mirrors.

B said...

I'm with you on the sense of humor bit (what is written on your banner). I sometimes feel that way about our lives and our little ones. But at the same time, even if he is laughing, I'm thrilled and I'll take it.

motheringmymiraclemultiples said...

Not A STINKIN' THING!

What a great post.....

Borders....ahhhh....almost as good as a day at the spa.........

My Soul said...

This is the funnest post I have ever read! I laughed so hard my eyes watered up :) I am sure that everyone has felt that way once or twice!

Tess said...

So funny- I think we all do that!

mrsbear said...

Nothing at all. I'm truly in awe, a peaceful coffee at Borders and the loaded diapers for the hubby. That's awesome. I'm totally jealous.

Erin said...

Oh my. I love you already! I totally do half of these. (Or maybe all, I just may not admit it!)

Samantha said...

LOL Oh I love it and I can relate to OHHHHH so many of those

Nancy said...

Absolutely nothing wrong with any of those! There's a couple of those that I haven't tried yet and may have to borrow.

I just stumbled upon your blog and you gave me a good laugh so thank you! I'm going to make you my blog of the day. There's a grab-able award on my site that you're welcome to if you're interested.

Morgan said...

I'm right there with you on avoiding the laundry while working on the blog. *sigh* maybe I'll get to it tommorow.

How many loads do you have piled up?

Retro Heather said...

LOL! Not a durn thing! You've got the right idea!

v said...

There's not a thing wrong with any of them except that I hope husbands don't read them and catch on now. I may try a few of your ideas, simply brilliant!

Connie said...

There's not a thing wrong with any of your ideas except that now husbands may read them and catch on to them. I love them and may try a few myself. Simply brilliant!

Paula Constable said...

I love your list! I think I will try a couple ideas! It is important to have time by yourself.

twinmama said...

I love those! I may have to use that "errand" one....

Cheryl Lage said...

Is it okay if I have a glass of wine while watching Celebrity Rehab too? ('Cause that's what I do!)

So happy to have found your blog (via Tracy at WonderTwins)...will be back!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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