Sunday, December 20, 2009

Mommy - the live version of Wikipedia

My kids are very curious. Extremely curious. I love that about them....sort of.

They are tiny clean slates...so inquisitive about the world around them. They spend most of their days shooting off questions to me, left and right....so quickly, in fact, that I can't always think of the perfect answer.

I lay in bed at night stressing about this, wondering if they'll think I'm lame someday because I don't have the answers to some of life's most basic questions. Why can't they ask me simple and uncomplicated questions like "why do cookies taste so good?" and "what exactly is a borderline personality disorder?"

Here's their latest series of questions, along with my weak attempt at answering them...

Why does it rain? Remember when I told you that the angels cry when a child picks his nose? Well, today there must be a whole lotta kids picking their noses.

Where does our poop go when we flush the toilet? It goes into the sewer system...you know, where Roddy St James lives. And I think some of it goes into the ocean...you know, where Nemo and Dori live.

Why is the sky blue? Because blue is God's favorite color.

How did He make the sky blue? With a really big paintbrush.

Who decided that grass should be green? God did...only because he ran out of blue paint

Do boys have brains? So I've been told

Why do people get married? Ask your father

How did God make people? He used a huge batch of playdough

Is God like Superman? Yeah, except He doesn't wear a speedo and tights

What would happen if we never slept? Mommies all over the world would be devastated

Why do we have boogers in our nose? In case you ever get stranded on a deserted island, you'll have something to eat

Does everyone have a butt crack? Yes, everyone except Frosty the Snowman

Memorable conversation of the day:

Bella: Cole, why does that happen?
Cole: Because it happens.
Bella: Oh, okay.

60 comments:

cindi said...

You make me laugh every time I read your posts. I think I may have given some of those answers to my kids when they were little. Merry Christmas!

Karen & Gerard Zemek said...

Your answers are funnier than the questions! Ha, ha! I think the one, "Do boys have brains?" is the funniest question. You crack me up!

Nezzy said...

Your too funny, girl and your children will pass their science exams with flyin' colors someday 'cause mommy said so! Heeeheehe! I'm lovin' your answers. Keep 'em commin'.

You have a wonderful day, Helene!!!

Buckeroomama said...

I love your answers!!

I love the little ones' curiosity, but sometimes I am stumped at what answers to give to some of their questions... and then I come up with really ridiculous stuff that I'm afraid might warp their way of thinking forever! :)

S Club Mama said...

OK maybe I'm a little bit glad mine doesn't ask questions (yet). But I love the rain question and the sky blue one. And the boogers. You are really funny.

Neo said...

Lmao! reminds me of my mom! boy did that woman have stories for us. dont worry if anything they'll be all growed up soon and giving u the answers.

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

It is amazing what kids ask! I love your responses. Sometimes when the questios get too much I feel bad that I don't always know the answers :-(

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

Love your responses!! Great sense of humour!!
hugs hugs

Nicolasa said...

You have such great answers! I love it!

Corrie Howe said...

You are a much better mommy than I. I drag all the kids to my laptop and we look it up on the Internet. This summer we learned where Hot Dogs get their names. We learned that Spain introduced Peanut Butter to the rest of the colonial marketing system, even though, ironically Spain doesn't sell Peanut Butter any more. (Our Spanish exchange student never had peanut butter and fell in love with it...how ironic that his country introduced our country to it!)

Kristina P. said...

Frosty doesn't have a crack? :(

V said...

Our kids say and do the darndest things:) I love how they make everything else in the world seem entirely simple.

Laura said...

Girl, I would have thought with all you go through each day that your head would hit the pillow and you would be OUT! Dead asleep. At least I know I would!

Shell said...

Those are some great answers!

My son had asked me when people have babies- I told him after they got married. We were at a wedding this fall and he said to the couple, "So where's your baby now? Is she coming soon?" People around us started looking at the bride's stomach after that...

Eva Gallant said...

Helene, you crack me up! Those are such great answers!

Heather Kephart said...

OMG so funny! I always wondered what the deal was with boogers. :)

Cheryl Lage said...

PRICELESS! :)

yonca said...

'He used a huge batch of playdough'.. Helen, love this answer!
Kids ask a lot! My son too. I think sometimes his questions never end:)

LucidLilith said...

You should copyright your answers.

Amy said...

Oh their minds are just amazing.

Angela said...

My DH and older boys loved this one! Thanks for the family laugh!

Mary K Brennan said...

"The angels cry when children pick their noses."
A true classic. Way to go Mom, you just may be prepared for Jeopardy!

KimmyD said...

I love how you answered "What would happen if we never slept?" Hilarious!

Working Mommy said...

I love your reason for green grass...I always wondered that!!

~WM

Flory said...

I hope I never get stranded in an island. :) Good laughs!

The Crazy Baby Mama said...

you're a great mama :)

Ginny Marie said...

My 5 year old is fascinated with poop and butts, and she is passing that fascination on to my toddler. So far no booger questions, but I think I need to tell her about the angels crying!

Karen said...

So...Why DO cookies taste so good??

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Oh yes, have no doubt, us and our children would get along splendidly.

KK said...

How funny. You are the smartest mommy ever!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

What's wrong with those answers? They look fine to me!

Cristina said...

I say, Frosty has a butt crack. Where does the coal come from?

Come on over and get your award punkin patch.

xx

Cristina

Theta Mom said...

I wish our kids could have a play date, it would be a riot!

Jen said...

I feel the same way but right now its only Hayden. Give it a year or 2 and the other ones are going to start.

Stephanie Stearns Dulli said...

Mommies all over the world would indeed be devastated with no sleeping children!!
I love these. I also love that you have the Wiggles listed as music on your profile! I certainly listen to them much more frequently than my music!

Stephanie Stearns Dulli said...

Mommies all over the world would indeed be devastated with no sleeping children!!
I love these. I also love that you have the Wiggles listed as music on your profile! I certainly listen to them much more frequently than my music!

Alicia said...

I love this!! The way you write everything is wonderful!!!

Katie said...

LOL! Those are great! ...do your kids ask "why? why? why?" after your explanations? My son's just now to that age and it's driving me nuts!

Paige said...

I am laughing out loud at your questions and answers! Just stopping by from SITS to say Hello. Hope you have a great week!

Phunkyrockgal said...

Too funny!! The questions all the time... so true! Love your answers!

Stopping by from SITS. Have a great week!

Geezees Custom Canvas Art said...

your answers are too funny...thanks for the laugh.
Stopping by from SITS!

Kimberly said...

Cute!

Sending you and your family warm wishes, and a very Merry Christmas.

satakieli said...

Too funny! My son doesn't talk much yet so he can't really ask questions. We do manage to have some hilarious conversations though -
"Why are you mad?"
"mummy!"
"You're mad at mummy?"
"Brum brum!"
"You're mad at the cars?"
"uh-huh"
"do you want to see the cars?"
"No no no no! Mummy! *screams*"
"ok no cars"
"BRUM BRUM!"
"ok dear."

Stopping by from SITS!

Missy (Two Little Monkeys) said...

Helene, great minds think alike. After answering a bazillion questions about electricity yesterday - I thought what happens when I run out of answers!!! I love the buttcrack one and the boogers! Ha!
Tomorrow for my Say What?!? post - we are borrowing your idea for Interview with the Experts. Hope you don't mind! I can not wait to see my kids answers.

M said...

When your book comes out ... I'll buy it ... and read all this stuff again and again.

Very, very funny ...

Creative Junkie said...

I need to borrow your kids for blog fodder. I swear, you come up with the best posts!

ZenMom said...

I love it! I was trying to think of a favorite to come up with some witty comment, but they're all great!

The Double Dipped Life said...

These are hilarious!! I especially love the reason it rains. Thanks for making me laugh!

SITS gal!

Paula @ Organizing Tips For Moms said...

Good answers! Where does snow come from?

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

oh man. I FULLY pictured god in a speedo and tights.

Sam said...

HILARIOUS!!!

~Shelley~ said...

~Happy Holidays~ Following from MBC! I'd love for you to come visit me!

~Shelley

sanjeet said...

our answers are funnier than the questions! Ha, ha! I think the one, "Do boys have brains?" is the funniest question. You crack me up!
Work from home India

The Lane Family said...

So MANY favorites but since my 19 month old is into drilling her nose the "why do we have boogers in our nose" was AWESOME!!

I also loved the one about "what would happen if we never slept". I have a daughter who does not sleep much and I am devastated some days :)

kys said...

Your answers are hilarious! I just tell my kids to Google it.

The Mother said...

Shame, shame. Never miss a chance to turn an innocent question into a five hour science lecture.

I know my kids really appreciate that about me.

MommyAmy said...

LOL! That's so much better than the answers my mom would give me. She would say things like, "Why do YOU think the sky is blue?" just to see what I would say. It was the clinical psychologist in her I suppose.

Goldilocks said...

I agree with many others...answers are funnier than the questions and I do love the "Do Boys have Brains?".

I'll never forget when my son asked me why I won't explain things to him....quote, "You can't tell me 'just because' if you want me to learn things, then you have to explain. Do all parents do that?"

Yep, he totally had me on a technicality.....and he was six then....I always tell him he'll make a great attorney someday.

shortmama said...

Hilarious! The questions are neverending!

Bethany said...

I love your answers- brilliant!! Your kids crack me up whenever you post about them :)

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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