Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Someone hold me, please!

We moms are supposed to be the brave ones. We're the ones who hold our families together....we are the glue that keep our families tight. But who's gonna hold us when we're scared and anxious??!!

Cole is having surgery today to repair an umbilical hernia, a very common procedure with very little risks. But it does require general anesthesia so to me, that alone, is downright scary, especially since he's never had surgery before and there's no way we can know how he'll react to anesthesia.

The nurse called yesterday to go over all the instructions, regarding when he needs to stop eating, time we need to be at the hospital, where to go upon admitting him...yadda, yadda, yadda....then she said, "He can bring toys from home and a favorite blankie too...although at 10 years old, he probably doesn't carry a blankie anymore". I stopped her right there and said, "um, Cole's not 10 years old...he's only 4". Nothing but silence on her end. Then she said, "oh....oh....oh no....okay, I see what happened...I confused you with the boy whose surgery is right after Cole's surgery. Their names both start with C's so I mixed them up." Then she proceeded to tell me a different time that we needed to be there since she had given me the time that the other boy needed to be at the hospital....and all HIS instructions of when to stop eating, etc.

Once she gave me the correct information for Cole, I couldn't help it...I had to ask, "So how can I be sure that the doctor won't confuse him with that same boy during the surgery?". She assured me it was a mistake on her part....oh, the doctor never makes that mistake...never has and never will. So how come I wasn't feeling reassured? I really wanted to ask what the other boy's surgery was for....what if my son woke up missing his right arm?? Or came out with a different-shaped nose? Okay, so I was probably getting all worked up but this is my baby we're talking about...he's never had surgery before...I'm a newbie at all this.

I quickly jotted a note to myself on the paperwork "in pre-op prep area, tell nurse to circle Cole's belly button with a black marker", a little tip that my friend Robin had shared with me in preparation for the big day. She also mentioned asking them for an anti-nausea medication (for Cole, not for me...although I could probably use some meds tomorrow) so I also jotted that down in my notes.

The funny thing is that Cole doesn't seem to be anxious about the surgery. I know it'll be a whole 'nother matter as he's being prepped in the hospital but for right now I'm pleased that he doesn't seem to be worried about it. Bella, on the other hand, was very concerned at first, which I found very sweet and endearing. She said, "Can I come with you and Cole, Mama?" and I told her no, that we'd be gone all day long and she'd be bored just sitting around waiting. The she asked, "Will Cole be okay?". So I explained to her that Cole would be fine and she'd see him as soon as we get home but that it was very sweet of her to show compassion for what he would be going through. Then Cole interrupted her and she slugged him on the side of the head and said, "be quiet....I'm talking right now". So much for concern and compassion, right?

Okay, so on that note, I'm gonna put on my game face and be brave, while inside I know I'll be a complete wreck!! This is a simple, routine surgery and I know everything will be fine. But could someone please hold me, anyway???

38 comments:

The Daily Dean Chronicals said...

My thought and prayers and most importantly STRENGTH is with you! I have had the same feeling that you have regarding surgery for my children! I still could not ever again go in with my child when they put her to sleep (AND I AM A NURSE!) As a Mother you will need to put on your strength hat and face this head on! Good Luck! It is always harder on us then on them!

Angela said...

I'll be here for you. Everything is going to be fine. I'd be a bit worried about that nurse though. You might want to report her to someone. Who knows how many times she has made this mistake

kristi said...

I hope things go great!!! Let us know!

MamaHenClucks said...

I am pretty sure that I would be needing someone to hold me, too. If that makes you feel better :) My hubs had that surgery done when he was little. Let us know how things go!

angi_b72 said...

I am sure things will be fine! I know how you feel, when the took my daughters in to have their tonsils taken out i bawled like a baby when they wheeled them back to the surgery room!! You are in my thoughts!

Laura said...

Oh, how my heart goes out to you. Both for the surgery and the mistake. First, from my mom perspective, no surgery is ever fun. I remember freaking out over Alise's vent tubes (ears) when she was a little over a year old. I can still see her in my mind like she was when I first saw her after her surgery....laying there limp and hooked up to so many tubes. It's just something I don't like to think about, and unfortunately for me, I may have to relive all that because the doc wants to take the tubes OUT now b/c they haven't fallen out on their own.

Now, from a hospital administrator's point of view, the nurse made a terrible mistake for which she apologized. As a mom, I know that doesn't make you feel any better and your mind begins to wonder about all the "what if's." I would address these concerns with the nursing staff during triage. I would also ask to speak with the physician before surgery. Normally, a nurse comes out during surgery to communicate with the family about how things are going (or they call the front desk and someone else relays). I would request this also to calm your fears.

Can't wait to hear how things went. I'm sure little man Cole was just great! But I did think - before I finished reading - "that kid's not 10 years old!!"

The Schumachers said...

My daughter had surgery last fall to repair a hole in her ear drum and I was a complete mess the entire time. It is the most nerve racking thing when your baby has to go through something like that. My thought are with you today...good luck to Cole!!

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Hopefully, she's not the surgical nurse. maybe she's just like a tech or something. I think surgery on little ones is worse on the mommies! When Bo had his surgery in Nov. the worst part was waking up from the anesthesia. That was bad. No sugar-coating.
I will pray for ya'll!

Tabbatha Rose said...

I hope Cole does well today and that your nerves have settled. I will be looking for a recap of the day when you have time.
Btw I have to say I love your blog, everytime I visit I can guarantee myself a smile. Just love ya!!

eight helping hands said...

My thoughts and prayers are with Cole, you and the rest of the family. I wish there was a way for me to give you a big hug. So the best I can do is send you one.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Please give us an update on him tomorrow.
P.S. my husband says he is a young hot "20" year old, and thanks you for the compliment.
Hugs, Michelle

The High Family said...

I would feel the same way.

My prayers are with you and Cole during his surgery. I hope he recovers quickly! Good Luck and we will patiently wait for an update.

Sending tons of Hugs from PA!

~ Bobbi :)

♥georgie♥ said...

awwww sending your (((HUGS))) mom...and I did giggle about her waching him on the head ahhhh the love of siblings

will be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers

Debbie said...

Let us know the minute you can and we will all be praying for you and Cole in the meantime. It is such the mom's job to worry, isn't it?

Jaime said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Take comfort in knowing there are many out here supporting you.

As for your concerns of a mix-up in the OR, know that there are MANY systems in place to prevent this. You will be there during the pre-op and can ensure they mark things accordingly. Also they are likely required to do two separate checks on his ID bracelet compared to his chart by different members of the staff to prevent mix-ups.

I know that doesn't do much to calm the "mom" in you, but maybe it'll be just enough to keep you from freaking out too much and/or driving yourself crazy in the waiting room.

Tracy said...

If I could, I'd hold you! Good luck tomorrow, though I know you don't need luck. All will be fine. I'll be thinking of you both, and keeping you in my prayers.

MommyAmy said...

Hang in there! I'll be praying for you and Cole. I'm sure it'll go very smoothly. :)

Lana said...

Oh my goodness. I don't blame you for getting upset over that mistake. Yikes! All will turn out just fine though. Good thing Cole isn't worked up about the surgery...then you'd be in a real tizzy! Good luck Cole! Good luck Helene!
I'll hold you. But no spooning, k?

Heather Happymaker said...

Oh Helene, I'd be scared to death as well! Especially after speaking with that moronic nurse.

Cole will come out of this just fine, and will have fun telling others of his adventure in the years to come. ((((H)))))

The Mother said...

Helene, it never gets any easier watching someone you love get operated on. But it is a very common, extremely low risk procedure. You might be a wreck, but he'll be fine.

Morgan said...

My oldest had 2 seperate surgeries to handle cataracts (and put in artificial lenses) when he was 2. Even though I knew it was a pretty harmless surgery, I had quite a bit of anxiety waiting for it to be over.

The worst part of all of it for me, was that for the first surgery, they wouldn't let me take him into the O.R. They let my husband because he works in the medical/emergency field, but wouldn't allow me to. That was awfull. Just seeing my baby carried away and being helpless. For the second surgery, they allowed me to carry him in.

Morgan said...

I hope things go great and that he has an easy recovery!

Annie said...

I feel your anxiety. I'll keep you guys in my thoughts.

motheringmymiraclemultiples said...

sending giant hugs your way. Daniel had an umbillical and inguinal hernia repair when he was only 3 months old and not even 12lbs. I was scared to death. And Daniel came through it like a champ. These little guys are tougher than we think!

I will be thinking of you and Cole.

~Kari

Elizabeth Channel said...

I will be praying for sweet Cole. And I don't care how routine, surgery on your child is always stressful and frighening! We had tonsils out two years ago, and I was awake for weeks before hand!

Take a deep breath. It's going to be fine : ) (hugs)

Hajar said...

Tossing arm loads of hugs to you! And some seriously dark chocolate and hot green tea, or whatever it is that comforts you best. :)

Anonymous said...

Best of luck on the surgery & recovery! (Don't worry, mom, he'll be fine!)

I can certainly relate, though - my oldest had surgery for pyloric stenosis the day after his 1-month birthday, and I turned into a complete basket case when we left him in the surgical suite. I was almost as bad when my youngest had a hernia repaired at 17. Sorry to have to tell you this, but it doesn't get any easier as they get older.

Chatabox Girl said...

You are so brave! Just remember that Cole will see that and be strong/not afraid himself.

But gosh it must be a hard thing to do! we are all here for you, and if i lived around the corner I would bake you cookies and give you a hug.

Good Luck!

Minxy Mimi said...

Good Luck, it must be over now and all is well. ((hugs)) and YAY for your brave boy.

HarryJack's Mom said...

{{{{{{{you}}}}}}}
I hope it went well and you were strong for Cole. Can't wait to hear your spin on how it all went!

Amy W said...

God is holding you AND Cole right now. "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged" Deut. 31:8
That's a promise you can rely on!
I had an inguinal hernia surgery when I was three. It's one of my first memories - can't say it was a bad one. Just remember getting a little stuffed bear from the hospital. :) Will pray everything goes well for Cole.

Jen said...

Heres hoping that is all went well, but just in case, I will hold you. ;)

Tami said...

We're praying for you and the family.
Everything will be OK.
Blessings
Tami

Cheryl Lage said...

Oh hon, have been in your shoes (the idea of anesthesia REALLY wigged me out!) Be brave. We're rooting for your sweet babe, and YOU!

Lee of MWOB said...

Hi Helene - I really hope everything went smoothly today - this is my first time visiting your blog and I know this is not the time to tell you this because you have other things on your mind but you won the First Juice giveaway at Moms Without Blogs!! I'm so happy to know a family filled with little ones will benefit from this healthy juice so email me with your info will you? Whenever you have a chance - I know you are consumed with more important things but hopefully this little win will bring you a smile!!

My email is leemwob@gmail.com

Lee

P.S. Your family is simply stunning.... :-)

Xazmin said...

It's always so scary when it is our children. Even if we think it shouldn't be. You are both in my prayers. Let us know how everything goes.

christine said...

Many thoughts and prayers today! HUGS!!!

Creative Junkie said...

I hope everything goes well with the surgery! I'm thinking of you guys and sending happy thoughts via cyberspace.

Hope he has a super quick recovery as well. You too.

Paula Constable said...

God will give you strength.

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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