Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Well, it's official...I have clearly lost my marbles!

It's never a good sign when the mornings get off to a rocky start. Garrett and Landon are whining after only being up for 30 minutes, Cole and Bella refuse to wake up and get dressed...and Tim is still in the shower getting ready for the day. It's moments like this where all I can do is laugh because...really....what other option do I have? I did consider drinking a couple glasses of wine but that really wouldn't help the situation, would it? I'd just be drunk and still trying to get my kids ready to start the day.

Instead, I started brewing the awesome Tim Horton coffee that Lana sent me, which filled the whole house with this amazing coffee smell that actually made my mouth water. I'm seriously considering moving to Canada just for the coffee and the maple syrup. I'm sure Lana would let me and my 4 kids move in with her and her 2 kids. We could be the next Jon and Kate, plus 8....well, except we'd be Lana and Helene, plus 6...and we're not a couple...and we'd only have 2 sets of twins and 2 singletons, not sextuplets. Okay, so where was I going with all this??? I'm not really sure...

So I finally got Garrett settled down. How did I do that? This is awful but I let him watch the movie, Kung Fu Panda. He's obsessed with it. The first thing I hear on the baby monitor in the morning is "Panna" and it's the last thing I hear him say as I lay him down to sleep at night..."nigh, nigh...Panna". So while Garrett stood in front of the tv completely in awe of "Panna", I got Cole and Bella awake enough to get them dressed.

Then I started making breakfast for the kids. Cole wanted french toast and I didn't feel like making french toast this morning so we argued about that for a couple minutes. It ended with him in tears and me saying "Oh God....how much longer is it gonna take for that coffee to finish brewing?" He ended up agreeing to an english muffin with peanut butter. Bella wanted an english muffin with cheese. Garrett didn't want anything at first but then agreed to some Kix cereal as long as I gave it to him in a bowl of milk. What am I...high? Like I'm gonna give a 22-month old toddler a bowl of cereal with milk in it?? But you know, this morning, I just didn't care...the kitchen floor can be cleaned. I just wanted to drink my coffee so he got his bowl of cereal with milk (and most of it did end up on the floor)! Landon wanted a waffle with peanut butter. Easy enough....I happened to have some leftover waffles in the freezer.

Finally got the kids to all sit at the table to eat breakfast. Everyone's happy....okay, not gleefully happy with cheery smiles but happy enough in my book. I mean, I wasn't hearing birds chirping in the background and the sun wasn't smiling at us or anything like that. But it was close enough to fairy-tale happy as I'm gonna get around here, especially at 7:30 in the morning. I'm finally sitting down, drinking my coffee and checking my e-mail. Then all hell breaks loose....Cole and Landon are fighting over who has more oranges. Bella is mad at Garrett because he's trying to drink her chocolate milk.

I moved Garrett to other side of the table and then I moved Landon over to the counter where I was sitting. Then Landon points to his plate and I notice there's no waffle on it but I had just given it to him like 2 minutes ago. I feel my blood beginning to boil. I want to yell at the top of my lungs "For the love of God and all humanity, can you all PLEASE get along for just 10 minutes?". But instead I quietly ask, "alright, who took Landon's waffle?" The other 3 kids shrug...they apparently have no clue. I say, "come on....someone took his waffle...own up to it now...it's not a big deal. Look, I'll turn my back for a minute and whoever took the waffle can put it back on his plate, no questions asked...". But still...no one owns up to taking the waffle.

You know those moments where you honestly believe there must be steam coming out of your ears because you're so upset and worked up, like you see in cartoons? I kept thinking "I must be dreaming this....I'm not really awake...." Is this really gonna be how today is gonna start?? I was already making plans to excuse myself to the bathroom, where I would lay on the floor in the fetal position and repeat to myself, "God doesn't give me more than I can handle....God doesn't give me more than I can handle".

Then Landon starts whining because he just wants his waffle back. I keep telling myself, "Chill out...keep cool, keep calm...this is NOT a big deal...it's not worth getting upset over" and I'm about to head to the freezer to grab another waffle, I look at Landon to tell him that I'm gonna fix him another one. And then I saw this....(of course I had to grab my phone to take a picture of it)

The peanut butter made the waffle stick to his shirt. He had no clue and I obviously hadn't noticed. I felt like the little old woman who's looking everywhere for her glasses and then someone points out that she's wearing them!!

I just looked at the other kids and said, "well, no one ever said that Mommies are perfect....now stop laughing at me and finish your breakfast!!" I have clearly lost my marbles. Not only because I didn't notice the damn waffle stuck to his shirt in the first place, but also I'm now realizing that I have conversations with myself WAY too much.

26 comments:

newlyweds said...

How funny, it was stuck to his shirt!!! Too cute, and what a great way to start off the morning. At least you had some great coffee!

Erin said...

that. is. awesome. you should peanut butter everything; you'd never lose anything again. things would forever just stick to you and your kids.

Kim said...

I find it oddly symbolic that the waffle is covering the bear's eyes.

The Mother said...

You're not talking to yourself, you're talking to us.

Elizabeth Channel said...

I totally know what it is like every morning in your house now. That was fantastic!

Paula Constable said...

Those mornings. You did good. Talking to yourself keeps you sane.

Erin said...

That is a riot!

mrsbear said...

Ha. Sounds like my morning, except for the peanut butter waffle on the shirt part. I also made the mistake of giving my two year old cereal and milk. Luckily I get to shop 75% of my kids off to school for the better part of the day. ;) Good luck finding your marbles.

♥georgie♥ said...

Oh My I am LOL@the jon and kate anology!
too cute is that pic!

The High Family said...

I couldn't help but laugh and feel sooo bad for you!

You are great mom.

My little guy is three and he still only gets cereal without milk! Well milk in a cup but I am scared to put it in the bowl.

Just remember that when you need a good laugh, look at that photo!

Nancy said...

LOL! I love the way you tell a story. I was all sure and certain that "the dog ate it" but then I realized I didn't know if you had a dog. So funny that it was on his shirt! LOLOLOL

eight helping hands said...

Wow! Long morning, how was that coffee? or did you ever drink it? You're a good mom, I also talk to myself on the occasion, at least I get the answer I'm looking for.

Amy said...

hehehe:) i dread the day when the 4of them will tell me what they want for breakfast, never the same thing with just 2, can only imagine 4..hmm.. maybe i should stop asking;)

MamaHenClucks said...

Oh my goodness! Thanks for the great laugh this morning!(afternoon, whatever!) Thanks for stopping over at my place - I will definitely be back here for more!

Morgan said...

I'm with you on the needing coffee, and I'm not even a coffee drinker! I'm at the point now where I'm strongly considering it, though. Some mornings just require a little extra boost, expecially when you've got bowls of cereal splattering on the floor (only we unfortuantely have carpet in our dining room, yuck!).

Doré said...

That is so funny!! Don't worry about it... we all have days like that... I have them more than most.

Erin said...

Thanks for the follow back and I am number 100... go me! :-)

Supermom said...

The glamorous life of a Mom I tell you.

3 Bay B Chicks said...

The moment I logged onto your site today I realized that Lee had given you a make-over. I love it, Helene. You look good in butterflies.

And what is this I am reading about your blog being recognized by Good Housekeeping? Congratulations. Well deserved!

I am going to have to start being nicer to you going forward...definitely want to ride your coattails to the top of the Technorati rating. :)

-Francesca

Jennifer said...

Hahahaha! You know, if I was your son and my mom saw my waffle stuck to my shirt like that, she would have said (as she does to this day): "Look with your EYES and not with your MOUTH!" - I love this post!

Amy W said...

You know with two sets of twins, we (your readers) really do expect you to have stories like this one. We're laughing WITH you.

blueviolet said...

The first thing I thought when I saw that was where's the rest of it? It's so tiny! Is that all he wants to eat?

screamish said...

that is so funny. the waffle. THE WAFFLE!

that would have made a great Seinfeld episode

Retro Heather said...

Ahahaaaaaaa! I quite literally laughed out loud when I read the paragraph about the waffle, and your blood boiling but quietly asking who took Landon's waffle. Ahahaaaaaa!

Lana said...

I just commented and blogger ate my comment!
I don't know how I missed this post! I guess I lack stalking skillz!

Sure! Come on over. It's been years since I've had a roomate. You could wear a shirt that says "I'm only here for the coffee" and I could wear one that says "She's only here for the coffee"!!" ☺

I'm glad you solved the case of the missing waffle! Too cute!!

twinmama said...

That is so funny - I thought you were going to say you left it in the toaster and never gave it to him. (That is what I would have done.)

You are good mom - I don't let the girls decide what they are eating for breakfast and they always eat the same thing.

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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