Sunday, March 1, 2009

Who says learning shouldn't be fun?

Just when I think I know it all, I realize that it's true what they say about learning being a lifetime process. Just this past week, I became enlightened on a few new things....

No matter how many times I have asked my husband to supervise the kids, it rarely turns out well. These pictures speak for themselves:

I guess I do need to see the positive in all this. Some of my friends have said, "Oh, just consider yourself lucky that he's willing to help you out". First of all, it's not a matter of him "willing to help out", because they're HIS kids too. And yes I do consider myself lucky....lucky that the kids didn't burn the house down (or cut one another's hair again as in a past experience when Tim was supposed to be supervising) while he slept peacefully like a baby not even 3 feet away from them. Suffice it to say, I have finally learned that my idea of "supervising the children" and Tim's idea of "supervising the children" are at complete opposite ends of the spectrum.

I learned this weekend that you don't "TAKE" a poop....you "LEAVE" it. Bella and Cole were having one of their wierd random conversations and Cole had to....um....take care of business. So he excused himself and said, "I'll be right back...I gotta go take a poop". Bella said, "No, you don't take a poop...you leave it in the toilet, where it's supposed to be". Yep, keep those pearls of wisdom coming....

I learned that Bella has a secret desire to use every single public restroom that she possibly can during her lifetime. I always thought it was just convenient timing on her part that she would suddenly have to pee or poop every time we go somewhere. But today I finally figured it out. I took them grocery shopping (yet another learning experience but I'll get to that in a minute) and within 20 minutes of being in the store, she announces to me, "Mommy, I have to poop...NOW". I said, "can you just wait 5 more minutes until we get these last 3 things and then I'll take you to the bathroom?". No, apparently that wasn't part of her plan. Perhaps she was bored with all the shopping and the strong urge to discover what the inside of the public restroom look liked became too overwhelming for her...she crossed her legs, held her belly and said, "Mommy, I really need to go...I don't even know if I'll make it to the bathroom". Of course, what mother is gonna hear that and not make a hasty bee-line for the bathroom?

So I ditch the cart near the bathroom only to discover that someone was already in the ladies' room. I did what any desperate mother would do....I went in to the men's room, where she proceeded to take her sweet time using the potty. She was even kind enough to let Cole go pee first, insisting that she could hold it a minute longer. Then as she sat on the pot, not only did she hum a lovely Disney tune for us for a few seconds, she evaluated her surroundings and provided such commentary for us, like "Hey guys, look at the wallpaper...I like the color" (what wallpaper? they have wallpaper in this bathroom?), "why did someone write all over the wall over there? (graffiti, my dear...can you just go poop already?), "why is there a handlebar next to the toilet...we don't have that at home" (it's for people who are in wheelchairs - are you done yet?), and then we had to listen to her rant for a few seconds over how disgusted she was that the mirror above the sink was way too small for a bathroom. This is where I finally lost my patience and gave her the old "either poop or get off the pot" speech. With that, she gave me a dirty look, finished her business, we all washed our hands and she announced that we could now resume our grocery shopping, completely satisfied with herself that she is coming close to reaching her goal of seeing the inside of at least 100 public restrooms by the time she reaches the age of 5. As we walked back to our cart, I said, "Bella, you amaze me....not many people are as comfortable as you are going poop in a public bathroom". She said, "that's silly....people should just go poop wherever they want". I instantly had visions of her running for class president during her senior year, preaching to the crowd of rowdy students..."And I, Bella, swear to fulfill all my promises as your class president....vending machines full of junk food, 2-hour lunch breaks, a student lounge where we can hang out when we're bored in class, and the freedom to poop wherever you want"....and the crowd goes wild and it's no wonder she wins by a landslide because the students love these new rules....the school janitors, not so much.

As for the rest of the shopping trip, I learned that no matter how many times I tell my kids that I am not buying them toys or candy at the grocery store, like before we left the house, as we're driving to the store, in the parking lot of the store and as we're walking into the store..."I have a list of things I'm buying while we are here...I am NOT buying anything that is NOT on my list, got it??", the kids will still ask as we cruise down every single aisle, "can I have this?" and "can I have that?". What part of "NO" don't they understand? When I ask them to repeat what I said already about buying things not on my list, they can repeat it back word for word....and then say, "but I really really really want this". I guess that's the part where I'm supposed to say, "Oh, well now that changes things, doesn't it? I didn't realize that you really really really wanted it...in that case, go ahead and put it in the cart then". Let me just add that to the list of things that my kids will never hear me say.

I learned that even kids who can look this adorable in the first part of the day....

can easily turn on you and become the most mischievous child who's ever discovered the power of the words "no" and "mine". Funny how his shirt says "Believe me, I'm nice". Just looking at that face convinces me otherwise.

Yes, that's a DVD case he's holding....at the playground. Some kids carry blankies, some kids suck on pacis...my kid finds comfort holding DVD cases. I have yet to go to the park where another parent comes up to me and says, "Um, do you know your kid is walking around with a DVD case?". Yeah, and your point is?? I'm not stupid enough to leave the actual DVD in there. I psych him out by putting a blank CD in the case....he's happy, I'm happy....let's all get back to playing, shall we...oh, and by the way, your kid just dropped his paci in the sandbox and put it back in his mouth after another kid stepped on it.

I also learned that the best way to get my husband worked up is to greet him at the door after he's been at work all day and say, "You have to see this...I got the cutest picture of Garrett and Landon today..."

As he looked at the picture, I said, "Look how cute they are....Garrett just loved Bella's princess crown and Landon thoroughly enjoyed running around as a pretty pink butterfly princess". I think I actually saw the veins pulsing in his neck. To add more fuel to the fire, I said, "I was about to paint their nails bright red but then I realized it was time for lunch....we'll get to that another day I guess". See, this whole time I've been going about it wrong....now I'm learning how to pick my battles. Tim forgets to take the garbage out (again)....I let his sons dress up in their sister's princess attire. It all works out in the end.

And last but not least, I learned that twins who fight like cats and dogs for a better part of the day, will eventually have sweet tender moments with one another, like this (notice they have 2 sets of twin baby dolls....and they're completely exhausted, just like their Mama):


47 comments:

newlyweds said...

Great post! Bella is so funny, I could totally picture her graduation speech! Too cute.

Hajar said...

LLLOOOLLL at the boys playing dress up! I got the best visual of you showing that picture to their father!!! *evil giggle*
I also liked what you told the mom who made a remark about your kid carrying around the dvd case... Like it's any of her business.

Jen said...

My, my what an educational day. And I am so cracking up at your hubby. My hubbies idea of 'watching' the kids is very similar expect he is playing games in the computer.

ImakehairROCK4u2 said...

LoL on the "Leave the poop in the potty where it belongs."

Mine leave it there alright...they just take pictures of it! I just blogged about it!

Keely said...

Oh, yeah, my hubby's concept of watching X is pretty much the same. At least he doesn't actually fall asleep, since X is still only 1, but pretty close. Guess who gets to clean up the mess after my "time off"?

blueviolet said...

I almost couldn't look at the mess your kids made! Wow!

Yaya said...

These pictures are so cute!


"people should just poop wherever they want!" Lol!!!!!

Gotta love the hubby's opinion of "helping"!

Nancy said...

LOL... my husband supervises the same way! And he wonders why I don't like to leave the house without him and the kids.

Your Bella is hilarious. I just recently blogged that my Ian must have instincts like a male dog. He seems to need to mark his scent everywhere we go (aka pee).

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Retro is just like Tim! And they LET him sleep! As soon as I close my eyes for 2 seconds, somebody's gonna yell Mommy!

And Bella reminds me of Sassy when she was that age.

Tami said...

Wow, Bella and Caleb are a perfect match! I make sure he poops and pee's before we leave the house.. HE STILL HAS TO MARK HIS TERRITORY! I ask my husband on the sly, Is it a guy thing, like male dogs have to mark each and every fire hydrant? Ask the older boy he says.. I do and both snicker. Having 3 brothers might just do that to her LOL.
She's tooo cute!

Christina said...

haha...yeah tim is totally helping ;p haha

such cute kids!!!

MommyAmy said...

Ok, you seriously crack me up! Every time I think I'm totally loosing my mind I just have to read your blog... and it really puts it all into perspective. lol

LOVE that last picture of your kids with their baby dolls! Totally reminds me of a pic on my blog with the girls sitting with their bunnies. So funny how twins seem to think there really should be 2 of everything. Makes sense to me!

Debbie said...

I hate public restrooms!
And aren't all husband like that?

j_mckinnon said...

I loved this post, especially the pic of your husband sleeping while the kids make a mess. I get that with my husband all the time. His idea of watching the kids is to be on the same floor of the house but to be on the computer in our bedroom with the door closed.

That's supervision at it's best!

It sounds like you have some amazing kids and I love reading about their escapades.

The High Family said...

Oh Helene...I LOVE reading your blog!

Was that a picture of my husband? Seriously, how the heck can they just fall asleep like that and not worry about the house burning down? Blows my mind everytime I catch him in the act!

Michele S said...

Do you want me to sneak into the house with a slingshot for when Tim nods off?

Tell him Greg just watched the kids for five day while I went on vacation. I think we should start scheming right now. You know I won't give up.

Veronica Lee said...

Those pics look like something right out of my living room and I have only 2 boys!!!

Creative Junkie said...

Such a great post (especially the "take" or "leave" a poop ... never thought of it that way!)

I love coming here - you are so entertaining!

Morgan said...

Was your husband actually sleeping while it was his turn to supervise the kiddos? I hope he helped clean up the mess!!!

ParentingPink said...

HaHaHa! I can't stop laughing because my house looks the EXACT same way when my hubby watches the kids - and yes, he's usually asleep on the couch too! LOL! Must be a "dad" thing!

motheringmymiraclemultiples said...

When the "Believe me, I'm nice shirt" is outgrown, feel free to send it my way....I need it for Melissa (little Miss I'm Not Smiling)......

Note to self: Do not apply for janitorial jobs at Bella's school......

Sock Monkey said...

Howdy! Dropping by fromm sits. Meet Sock Monkey. He is looking forward to meeting new people.

Sock Monkey
CampSockMonkey

Sock Monkey said...

Following your blog.

Jessie said...

Love it! You crack me up.

My Lil Guyz said...

Hello Helene,
I have given you an award over at my blog.
Stop by and take a look.
mylilguyz.blogspot.com
enjoy

thanks
Jacqueline

Tiff said...

I love the Poop story! My daughter used to do t hat too. LOL It brings back memories!

Coming at ya from SITS!

Karen said...

I guess now I know why my mom stopped taking me to the grocery store with her when I was a kid!

Very fun post and really cute pics!

Erin said...

Awww, kids. They are so crazy, and fun!

Kate said...

You know it's funny - I have like a million memories just like that of my dad "watching us" when we were kids. And the really funny thing? Sometimes my house looks like that with just one kid, when I'M supposed to be watching him. Let's just say that when a work phone call comes in at the worst possible time, he knows he can run a muck and there's nothing I can do about it.

Arlice Nichole said...

Wow! They really took over the house! This is a dumb question, but the birds in your header...are they forming a smiley face? Loves it Loves it! Great theme.

Corrine said...

bella is too cute. its funny i am not sure my mom made a big deal about it but i could never do a nubmer 2 any where but at home, even to this day i have a hard time if we are staying in a hotel, anyway way over share, but love Bella's attitude....

your husband and mine went to the same babysitting school...somedays i just wish i could fall asleep too and let them have "fun" how do they do that?

very funny post, and love the "leave a poop" too! funny.

jungletwins said...

Oh gosh, that's hilarious! My husband also seems to get the idea that "watching" and "napping" can happen simultaneously. Not in this universe ;)

Chris said...

Your posts always make me laugh.
Now tell me who cleaned up this mess?

Journey on! by Kelleye said...

Ah Ha! We have very simular lives don't we! I hate to just bask in all this whilst you think your the ONLY one! Loved the couch shot- hummm.... Loved all the pictures- seems like I have alot of those as well doing the same thing- but the potty thing in the store- WHY oh WHY?!!!!!!!! Ugggggh! If I couldjust get past that part!

Lana said...

Your hubby is a brave, brave man. What I'm trying to figure out though, is, is he brave for letting himself fall asleep with four kids running amuck, or for falling asleep where his wife can catch him?! ;)

Ahh, truley words of wisdom: "people should just poop wherever they want!" HAHA! Love it!!

Tess said...

I agree on your comment about it shouldnt be that you are lucky-he made them too!

Minxy Mimi said...

LOL, my son loves to see the inside of all restrooms too... he has not gone so far as commenting on the decor tho!
I love ya, you make me smile!

Amy W said...

Oh, we went through the going to every public bathroom phase as well. With both of my girls. Can't remember any comments about the decor though. That was priceless!

Ambulance Mommy said...

wow, what a FUN post!!! Ok, I admit it, I'm one of those people who simply can NOT poop just anywhere! Good for Bella that she can!

Oh, and I totally relate to the my husband watching the kids stuff. I go away for 20 minutes to CVS, and come home to find my husband out cold on the couch with the TV blaring, and the baby screaming his head off in the bedroom. No baby moninter in sight near my husband. Way to be responsible. And its incredibly frustrating to know that I feel like I can't even trust him with his own kids. We would fire a babysitter who did that!!

Anyway, hope all is well!

Zeemaid said...

Great post. Loved it. Love the pictures.

My favourite is the husband who falls asleep on the couch like he's the one getting up at night. Yeah right.

Heather Happymaker said...

Hilarious! Is that Landon holding the DVD case? That is one of the sweetest pictures ever, unintentionally of course. Your kids are very creative! And loving your husband's "babysitting" (if you can babysit your own kids) skills. Men don't seem to possess the gene that makes them want to clean up as they go along.

Thanks for sharing!

Elizabeth Channel said...

Is that a Snuggie your husband is all scoodled up with?

mrsbear said...

My oldest used to do that to me all the time, "I have to poop!" usually when we were at a restaurant and my steaming food had just arrived. Then she would take FOREVER to finish. FOREVER. Actually, at 14 she still takes forever to leave a poop. I'm sure she'd love me talking about it too.

My youngest son likes running around in ladies shoes, who am I to quash his creativity?

...The Obnoxious SAHM.... said...

Love your pictures! Such a great post! .... still chuckling at the poops.... :)

Quiskaeya said...

I know it's totally wrong for me to LMBO at your expense. But girlfriend that was the funniest post I have read all day.

The Hubster and I are so different in some of the ways we handle the kiddos too. And I'm so with you sister girl, I don't consider it a priviledge that he helps with the children..good grief they are his kids too. Sheesh!

Your darling and the public potty story was crazy funny!

twinmama said...

Your blog posts are awesome....Great stuff!

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I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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