Wednesday, April 1, 2009

5 reasons why it sucks to have your birthday on April Fools Day

One would think it would be kinda cool or even fun to have a birthday on April Fools Day. But no...not me. It's never been cool and it certainly has never been fun....well, with the exception of my 21st birthday, which was definitely unforgettable (thanks to my college roommates). My parents always saw my birthday as a prime opportunity to play cruel jokes on me. Why couldn't they just be the type of parents who pulled nice, funny pranks....why did they have to use the whole "April Fools baby" thing as a way to screw with my head?

Here are just a few of the jokes they've played on me in the past:

1) They pretended to forget my birthday one year. I went all day long thinking no one had remembered my birthday. And I was only 7 YEARS OLD, for crying outloud....how cruel and evil is that? But then again, maybe they actually did forget it was my birthday and that was their cover story...kinda convenient, don't ya think? I forgave them....only because the birthday cake totally rocked.

2) One year, my mom told me that none of my friends wanted to come to my birthday party. I cried and cried and cried...and she let me go on thinking that my friends totally sucked. Then they surprised me with a birthday party at Carvel. I forgave them....only because the ice cream cake totally rocked.

3) Living in Miami when I was younger, our home was invaded quite frequently by fire ants. If you've never heard of fire ants, be grateful. Scary creatures....and when they bite you, it feels like they're eating a hole right through your skin....the bite burns like hell. Like, why did God even create ants? I'm sure there was some purpose there but I fail to see what that is. Anyway, we often had to hide food in the oven to prevent the fire ants from seeking out refuge in our kitchen, while scarfing down all our food. One year, my mom "accidentally" left my birthday cake out on the counter and in the morning, it was covered with those freaky fire ants. I cried and cried and cried....she let me go the entire day thinking there would be no cake at my birthday party. Then to my surprise, she presented the real cake (that she had hidden in our neighbor's oven) several hours later at my party. I forgave her....only because the birthday cake totally rocked.

4) This is the 2nd worst prank my parents played on me. I was in college, just about to turn 19 years old, when I received a letter that looked pretty important, to be opened on my 19th birthday. I recognized the name on the envelope as the lawyer who handled my deceased grandfather's trust fund (he happened to be an old friend of the family). On my birthday, I opened the letter, which was on official letterhead, and I was stunned to read that my grandfather had left me $100,000 to be given to me on my 19th birthday....on 2 conditions....that I was in college at the time of receiving the letter and that my GPA was at least a 3.7. I almost peed in my pants....actually maybe I did...I don't quite remember. I just remember freaking out and calling my mother to tell her about it. I wasn't sure if it was real...I mean, after all, it was April Fools Day. I finally said, "Look, you must think I'm pretty stupid to think I'd fall for this...". About 10 minutes later, my phone rang and it was the LAWYER....saying the letter was real. Once I finally accepted that I was about to inherit a butt-load of money....my mother confessed and admitted that she had gotten the lawyer to go along with it (can't he be disbarred for something like that??!!) What can I say...my mother is demented. I never forgave her for this one....even though the birthday cake totally rocked. (Are you getting the sense yet that birthday cake and me, we have a special relationship....birthday cake completes me)

5) Finally, this is probably the cruelest joke of all that my parents came up with. It's an obvious fact that I don't look like anyone in my family, although I did grow up hearing that I resembled my paternal grandmother when she was younger. My sister used to joke with me that I was adopted. I never believed her, mainly because I once saw a picture of my mom when she was pregnant with me (or at least I thought it was me). On my 16th birthday (yes, my sweet 16...that's what makes this even crueler), my parents came to me and sat me down and explained that I was adopted. I remember my jaw hitting the ground...I was speechless. I waited for them to laugh and say "hahaha, just kidding" but they didn't. I didn't know what to say...it hit me hard. I honestly think the only reason my parents finally caved and told me they were playing a joke was because I was so devastated over it. I kept thinking this had to be a joke but then, really, what parent would joke about something like this? Seriously, my folks are totally twisted, sick individuals. I still haven't forgiven them for this one....but at least the birthday cake totally rocked.

As I've gotten older, it's been more difficult for them to play jokes on me so they've kind of given up....#4 and #5 have stayed with me, burned into my brain.

48 comments:

motheringmymiraclemultiples said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR HELENE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

Hope your day is special!!!

Betty said...

Happy Birthday Helen!
Wishing you a wonderful day, filled with happiness.

Nikki B. said...

damn...i wanna meet your parents!!

and now i want some cake!

Tami said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I'm kinda speechless. Which is rare for Tami. Sorry for the jokes. =/

It's kinda funny too. LOL. I didn't mean to laugh.. nope I didn't. =O

LOL

Lana said...

Happy Birthday Helene!! I hope you have a wonderful prank free birthday!!

Karen said...

Oh my gosh! I'm partly mortified and partly impressed that your parents have a sense of humor like that!

But the adoption thing and the money are both particularly awful! Especially to sit you down on your 16th birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, though!!! I hope this is a great day for you!

Angie Marion said...

WOW! I'm sorry! but... Happy Birthday!!!!

Stopping by from MBC!

Simply AnonyMom said...

Happy happy birthday Helene dear.
Happy days will come to you all year.
If I had a wish it would be,
A Happy happy birthday to you from me!

I was turning 9 and my parents told me no one was coming to my birthday party. I thought they were joking, playing a dselayed prak, but no one showed up except for my siblings.

Creative Junkie said...

Happy birthday!

As for the parents? WOW. Just WOW.

IAmDenise said...

Happy Birthday Helen!!

have a great one girl!

Hajar Zamzam Ismail said...

Happy Birthday, girl! Happy Big 4-0! They say life begins at 40, so those bad birthday memories were probably just nightmares...because your life is just beginning now!
Have a good one; do something you've always wanted to do, but never had the guts to do before.
Big hugs.

Reeni♥ said...

I saw your comment on SITS and came over to say Happy Birthday!! Some of those jokes aren't really so funny. I'm having a Tex-Mex cookbook giveaway, if your into cookbooks come over and enter. Enjoy your day!

blueviolet said...

Happy Birthday! I hope your birthday cake totally rocks again this year.

Your parents are oddly twisted in a delightfully entertaining way. :)

Meg said...

Happy Birthday!!!

Your parents may be sick and twisted, but hey. At least they gave you some ideas to use to mess with your kids.... lol

Hope you have an awesome cake! :)

The Eadle Family said...

Happy Birthday! April Fools Day would be a tough day to have a birthday. Did you parents ever apologize?

Leslee said...

lol! I cant believe they did #4 & #5. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

LaurieJ said...

Oh my gosh. They had better have been the best cake you'd ever tasted while being fat and calorie free to make up for those jokes!
I would say any issues you can have be pointed to your birthdays
:-)
Hope you have a good one today!

Christina said...

happy birthday to the youngest lookin momma!

you still look so amazing!

AmberW said...

Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Birthday lovely lady!!!!!!!
I can't believe some of those terrible jokes :(
I would be SO mad!!
I hope you have a great day and are spoiled just like you deserve to be!

Janice said...

What terrible pranks! Hope you have a great day (minus the foolery!)

Tess said...

Happy Birthday Helene! Would you like to be my featured blogger tomorrow (a day late)?

Stacey said...

LOL Your cakes had to rock to make up for your parents jokes. My parents never did anything for April Fool's. No fair! LOL.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

~Stacey

Ginny Marie said...

I hope you have an awesome birthday cake...that you don't have to bake for yourself, like I have actually done!

Debbie said...

First, happy birthday.
Second, I feel for you. I would not want my birthday to be today. I say you should change it!

Laura said...

Happy Birthday! Enjoy your day!

Jen said...

I hope that you are having the best birthday ever and I am sorry but I think that your parents are kinda funny except maybe for the last one but the 4th on, come on that was funny.

(please don't hate me) ;)

MamaHen Em said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

I was kinda sensing that birthday cake could cover a multitude of sins, but HOLY COW!! The last two? Totally awful. Sooo bad. Poor you! Really, you should plot something so big and so awful and April Fool's them back sometime...

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

I hope nobody pulled any pranks today. Happy Birthday! Those stories make me want to bake you a cake.

Zeemaid said...

Happy Birthday to you!

I'm sorry but those pranks sound awful. I would be utterly dashed to think I inherited money and it was all a big joke. Plus the adoption thing... that's just mean.

It's a wonder you haven't developed some weird cake addiction to overcome the traumatizing events in your life.. wait a minute.. maybe you have... PUT DOWN THE CAKE NOW!

Seriously, hope you have a swell day! :)

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Helene. Hope your day has been a great one!

Sandra

newlyweds said...

Oh wow, I can't believe your parents would do that, is that a April Fool's joke?

Hope you have/having/had a fabulous birthday!

The Mother said...

Happy Birthday, Helene.

No jokes.

Lisa said...

Happy Birthday Helene!

I say it's high time to "up the ante" and pull the mother of all pranks on them! Think of it as your birthday present to yourself?!

Love ya!

Shelli (wishes she was) Mrs. Burchett;) said...

Dang...and I felt bad for telling my 4yo that she had a pickle in her ear! lol

Elle said...

Happy Birthday!!! Wow, I thought my brother was bad, but your parents really take the cake (I couldn't resist the cake reference:) I'm surprised you're still speaking to them.

Deb said...

Happy BIrthday! I seriously have to say that maybe your parents went out of their way to have you on April Fool's Day? They sound like some serious pranksters. Do they know Ashton? They must have been creative directors for Punked.

Hope this year your cake rocks again!

Michele S said...

Happy Birthday Helene!

I can't believe your parents. Maybe you ARE adopted. :)

Hope you had a great day!

Joye @ The Joyeful Journey said...

Happy Birthday!!! Well, technically it's April 2 because I stay up wayyyy tooo late! But as a mommy to twins, you should know all about that! When else can we get a moment to ourselves??

Christine said...

Wow I am sorry I hope you have found a way to get them back. I wanted to say happy belated birthday !! I got on here to see what Tim did or didn't do for your birthday, boy was I disappointed. lol Spill it girly !! I hope you and your family had a wonderful day together ! Even if the men totally blow it, our children make up for it in spades!!!

Amy W said...

Happy Belated Birthday, Helene!! Those were some ROTTEN tricks your parents played on you! Good heavens!

I hope your day was terrific!! The flowers are beautiful!

Yaya said...

Happy Birthday yesterday!

Are you serious about these????????! I would be scarred for life!

wife.mom.nurse said...

Happy belated birthday. You poor thing. God really does have a sense of humor when it comes to you ")

All good, but #4 sucks the most!!!

wife.mom.nurse said...

After reading # 5 again, I do agree that it really sucks the most.

Poor baby. Had I read this ahead of time, I would have sent you something really special for your birthday. Money, flowers, chocoloate...

No, I am not going to say "April Fools" really I am not. That would suck!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I kept waiting for you to say 'April Fools' but you didn't so I'm assuming you really do have twisted parents! Wow! I thought I was bad. Heh

Tracy said...

Sorry I missed it! Hope it was happy.

Fearless Mom said...

I hope all these stories were your April Fool's on us. But if they weren't, you should be seriously congratulated for turning out sane.

Tammy said...

Well I'm a few days late, - but this post "totally rocked" kind of like birthday cake --
my husband's best friend shares the same glorious date of birth -- always fun to forget the day...I mean remember it cruelly!

I found you through Follow Me Club - I am now following your blog.

M said...

OMG I totally love your parents!!

Happy belated birthday, hope it was a good one!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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