Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The dreaded "Man Date"....

My 40th birthday....well, it was pretty awesome. Much more than I expected, seriously. The day before my birthday, Tim surprised me by saying that he was going to take the day off and take me to a movie and lunch. He had arranged child care already for the kiddos so I didn't have to worry about that.

We went to Boudin's for lunch, where we talked about the kids the whole time. Then on the drive over to the theatre, we chatted some more about the kids. We saw "Love You, Man", which was an awesome movie! I highly recommend it, especially if you just need a good laugh. Plus, it helps that Paul Rudd is easy on the eyes. He may have replaced Seth Rogen as my dream lover. The whole premise of the movie is that the main character is getting married and he realizes that he doesn't have any close friends to ask to be his best man, while his fiancee has 2 really close friends that she shares everything with. So he sets out on a hilarious journey to find a new friend.

I had to laugh after the movie because I have been trying to find new friends for Tim recently. He's a stay-to-himself, homebody kinda person. And I've been saying all along "you need to make friends". So I set him up on a "man date"....one of my friends' husbands enjoys poker and he's having a game at his house in a couple weeks. I RSVP'd for Tim...saying "count him in" and then I informed him about it. He stared at me and said, "you did what?". I said, "I told Mary that you'd be joining the guys for poker night....Men's Night Out, if you will". He wasn't too sure about it but when I told him that there would be no wives and no kiddos, he was totally sold on the idea.

What guy doesn't need friends? I know it's not the same thing as us women. We need friends, we crave friends....we need other women around us who understand and support us. We enjoy friends we can be real with....someone we can cry with or laugh with. Men....I don't know....they don't sit around and chat about the things we chat about. Like I can't imagine them sitting around the poker table and saying, "Can you believe my wife didn't notice how good my butt looks in these new jeans I'm sporting? I could change my hair color and she probably wouldn't even notice" or "Check out these new shoes I bought on sale today...and I had to hide the receipt from my wife because she'd kill me if she knew how much I spent on them".

And you know they won't be talking about sex, like we women do. We tell each other everything (well, almost everything...) but I just can't picture men doing that, saying stuff like, "Can you believe my wife asked me to do THAT....it's just so gross" or "I'm just too shy to do it with the lights on" and of course never "She expects me to have sex with her all the time....after a long day at work, I just wanna relax...sex is the last thing on my mind".

But guys need somewhere they can go to let off steam. Just to hang out with other guys who walk in the same shoes.....hard-working guys who are married with kids. I would imagine they "get" each other, though they may not talk aloud about their woes and troubles as we women would. I would imagine there will be a lot of beer drinking, high 5's, poker chips flying around and plenty of "hey, dude...." to last a lifetime.

I went out for dinner with 3 good friends on my birthday. We had a blast....we all go way back, having experienced infertility together and supporting each other through every pregnancy, miscarriage and birth. As I sat there, while we chatted about everything under the sun (and I mean EVERYTHING...no topic left untouched), I felt sure that Tim would have a good time on his Man Date.

But if he happens to come home in tears, crying about how mean they were to him and how they just don't "get him"....well, I guess I'll just have to keep looking for new friends to set him up with. The dreaded Man Date....

31 comments:

Tami said...

hehe the dreaded man date. I love it. Men do discuss things we women would never discuss. I know I heard hubby on the phone talking to his friend. (I about died) he never talks that way.. of course I had a few comments like.. OMG, you nasty man. he laughed for 30 minutes.. no kidding. he's going to have fun!
I'm happy to hear you had a good birthday! It's hard getting out of the kids mind stage. It's all hubby and I talk about too. LOL.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!

♥georgie♥ said...

LOL...my hubby is a lot like your hubby...hmmm maybe I will procure a spot for him on a mandate

Kathy B! said...

I wish we lived closer! Our hubbys could totally date each other. They sound frighteningly similar :)

And happy birthday!!! I'm glad you celebrated and enjoyed time with special friends and your hubby.

Laura said...

I am so glad that Tim treated you right on your birthday! Just my man taking care of the child care thing puts a smile on my face, so I can imagine how you felt with four!! Sounds like you guys had a great time and I hope he appreciates the favor of the "man date"! Can't wait to hear how it went in a later post!

kristi said...

I hope he has fun! Glad your birthday was good.

Jen said...

I did for my hubby a while ago too. He had a good time expect he kept sending me dity text messages. I don 't know what to think of that.

Nikki B. said...

setting up a sitter is birthday gift alone...but, then to lunch and a movie??? WTF??

would you please set your husband up on a woman date....with me!!!

not risky at all...i'm a happily married woman, who just wants to go on a FRIGGIN date for god's sake!!!

Mrs Cooper said...

Happy Birthday to you. Can't wait to hear how the man date went and what they talked about. Why are men so wierd like that.

Karen said...

Philip doesn't really have any guy friends either. I think I might have to set him up on a Man Date, too...

I'm glad you had a great birthday! You deserve it!

Heather Happymaker said...

I missed your 40th birthday?!?!? Cripes! Happy Birthday, Helene!!!!

And men need man friend so they can get away from all the things that we go to our women friends for - chatting, hugging, sharing emotionally, lol. They need to have a "pack" with a shared idea or goal. I think it's in their nature.

Meg said...

lol

my hubby won't go on man dates. He just prefers going on dates with me. I asked him, once a while ago, why he would rather hang out with me all the time and not go out with his buddies every once in a while, he replied that at least at the end of our date, there was a huge chance he would get laid. That wasn't an option after a man date..... lol

Buncha Blue-Eyed Monkeys said...

LOL nope, I can't see them complaining about HAVing to do it after a long day at work. I hope he has a great time!

Shelli (wishes she was) Mrs. Burchett;) said...

Meg has me crying!!! My Tim has a 'work wife'. It's a good thing he does because I have a 'dirty texting buddy'!

Guys emoting to other guys is FUNNY!

newlyweds said...

Your hubby did good, glad you have a great birthday!

And I love the man date idea, I so agree my hubby needs one as well.

Hajar Zamzam Ismail said...

Awww, see, he does know how to be 'romantic' and caring! That was the sweetest gesture! You really are a lucky Mama, a lot of guys with a house-full of twins would be trying their best to sneak away with 'the guys' every chance they get. At least he isn't doing that number on you.

Sharlene said...

The dreaded man date.... I should hook my husband up with one of those. Of course first I need to go about making new friends in our new location. I may need a dreaded mom date...

kel said...

Ha! I am always trying to set my hubs up on man dates!! so sad, ain't it??

and keep your mitts off Paul Rudd!! He's mine! All mine!! mwwwaaahaaa!

Shanda said...

We almost went to see that movie the other night! We'll have to check it out another time. It has taken YEARS, but now my husband really enjoys a few of my close girlfriend's husbands! The downside is that he plays tennis with them EVERY Saturday morning now...so no chance of EVER sleeping in. (Church on Sunday) But I wouldn't trade it - it's cool that we can out as couples and all have a good time too.

I guess we will both be loving the teenage years when we can't get them out of bed!! ;)

Happy 40th!!

Debbie said...

What a great day that sounds like! I hope his man date went well too.

Lana said...

Glad you had a good birthday!

What is it with men? My boyfriend complains he has no friends, yet does nothing about it. Seriously, dude. go have MAN time!!

Musings of the Mrs. said...

Happy birthday! My husband would KILL me if I set him up on a man date. But he does have a best friend, one that lives 10 minutes away and I've seen all of 5 times in our 2 years. Which is fine by me. I have no idea what it is they do, but they don't even call and wish eachother happy birtday. Guys are so weird.

mrsbear said...

Happy Birthday! Does a great first man date eventually lead to a bromance? I'm so glad I'm a girl.

Zeemaid said...

happy birthday to you! I love it "dreaded man date". My husband doesn't have many friends either. I keep grumbling about me time and then I feel bad cause he doesn't seem to "need" time with the buddies. While I'd like him to be able to get out a little more, I am SOooo glad that I don't have one of those husbands that are ALWAYS out with the buddies, beer after work, golf on the weekend etc...

The High Family said...

My hubby is the same way. I like this idea and I just might have to set him up on a 'man date' soon too. He has buddies at work but he only hangs out with them when we (as a family) get invited over for events.

He always says he needs a "daddy night out" and I couldn't agree more...he works hard and could use a break too.

I got your email and wanted to thank you for your great advice. I will email you back soon...it's on my list. ;)

Michele S said...

OMG! I just finished writing my post for tomorrow about turning 40 this month.

Greg doesn't have any friends either. I swear to God we married the same man.

Happy Birthday and I'm so glad you had a good time. You deserve it!

LaVonne said...

Well, Happy 40th! I am glad it went well. I laughed about Paul Rudd. :) It is strange how men are. My husband does not really have any hang out with friends either. I need to find him a man date too! Let us know how it works out for him.

Creative Junkie said...

My husband is the same way ... a homebody, lots of acquaintances but few "good"friends who aren't family.

He needs a man date.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Welcome to my decade!

Helen said...

LOL! I've totally tried to set my husband up. He's never happy about it.

Swinging by from SITS and I think I also remember your name from Multiples and More!

Janna Bee said...

My husband is the SAME way. I should set him up on man date as well! Funny post!

heather@it'stwinsanity said...

Happy (belated) 40th!!!

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