Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Things you never want to hear from a potential babysitter during an interview....

Can you let me know when it's 5:00? That's the time I need to take my Haldol.

I won't be able to work on Wednesdays from 3:00-5:00 because that's the visitation hours at the prison where my boyfriend is. If I can't have the time off, I could always bring the kids with me.

How often do you expect me to take the kids to the park...I have a fear of grass.

I hope you don't mind if I bring my imaginary friend with me.

It's cool if you need me to cook meals for the kids....I'm fascinated with fire.

I'm an expert at changing diapers....I wear them myself sometimes.

Would you mind if my boyfriend came over and helped me with the kids? He used to be a sexual predator but he's over that now.

Do I know CPR? I think so...wasn't he one of the robots in Star Wars?

I'm sorry, I didn't hear you....the devil was talking to me.

I'm not sure if I can work overtime....let me call my parole officer and ask.

I hope it's not an issue that I don't drive....my license was suspended after my 2nd DUI.

Is it okay if I watch "The Girls Next Door" while babysitting because that's totally my favorite show and I simply CANNOT miss an episode?

Do you mind if I use your computer while I'm babysitting.....I like to check how many hits my "adult site" gets every couple hours.

Would you mind paying me in cash every Friday....that way I can just go directly to my dealer's house when I'm done babyitting.

If there's an emergency, I'd just call 911....it's a really great way to meet hot guys.

I usually ask for $10.00 per hour but for an extra $20.00 I could "take care" of your husband too, if you want.

Feel free to check my references....oh, but please don't call my last employer....we ended on bad terms. She was so paranoid about me drinking beer while I watched her kids.

Well, I don't really have a LOT of experience with children but people who know me say I have the maturity of a 9-yr old so that should count for something, right?

As far as discipline, I think all kids need a good ass-whipping every once in awhile. That's what my dad always did with me and look how wonderful I turned out. So when do I start?

**Please drop by my bloggy buddy, Tess' site Six Feet Under. Each Wednesday, she does "Words with a Blogger"....I was interviewed for it today...so please go check it out HERE. Oh, and while you're there, PLEASE vote for her Hallmark card (details at the top of her blog)!!!

29 comments:

Tami said...

I'm dying from laughing! Can you imagine? I'm in a bad situation this week, as I don't have day care for Caleb. I bribed Daniels girlfriend to watch him for 3 hours when Daniel goes to work. (Thank God) She's trusting! This is the only part I dislike about working.

I can't say it enough... YOUR HILARIOUS

Twisted Serenity said...

LMBO! Soo funny!

Nessa said...

That is too funny! And it actually reminds me of some people we've interviewed for sitters...not that bad, but close!

eight helping hands said...

That was to funny! I loved your interview over at six feet under! You are most definitely on my top three list of bloggers that I have to read everyday. I should be back to gardening next Tuesday, so let me know if you have anymore questions.

♥georgie♥ said...

OMGosh LMAO!!! Loved this

The High Family said...

Hilarious!

Kimberly said...

Too funny! I just read your interview with Tess and came over to check you out. I'm putting you in my blogroll for sure!

Kelly said...

this is so funny! i am trying to follow you in my reader but i keep getting an error. i am following you through blogger though.

The Mother said...

Things just keep getting better in the babysitting department, don't they?

Don't despair, Helene. I'll send you the Goth. He was just voted the "Best Father" in his high school class.

Just what a parent aspires for her teenage son!

(It was about how he took care of our little niece at a party. Really.)

So if you don't mind chains and earrings and dog collars, he'd be a great babysitter.

Kathy B! said...

Dear me! Please tell me these aren't things the sitters have actually said to you?!?!

They're hilarious but they shake my faith in humanity just the teeniest bit.

The Daily Dean Chronicals said...

Oh my! I am worried that if I ever need a sitter other than my 12year old, I will run into a few of these potential sitters! YIKES! Thanks for the head up! lol! Happy Wendsday!

Laura said...

Hil-arious!!

...The Obnoxious SAHM.... said...

HHAA!!! That is so funny! I will also check out the link to see your interview with Tess! :)

MommyAmy said...

Hm... this kind of makes me re-think the whole babysitter thing. lol At this point the only other people who have watched the girls are my parents.

Love your new layout design!

Jen said...

Scary people out there but at least they made it easy not to hire them.

blueviolet said...

Where do you come up with this stuff?
You're so funny!

I'm going to go see your feature now.

Jen said...

I don't know exactly how I stumbled onto your blog, but I am so glad I did. I have been trying to read from the beginning & have found myself LOL'ing all along the way. You are so witty!

It's also nice to see the realistic side of parenting or should I say of being a mother. You have shared a lot in this blog & I'm sure it isn't always easy to show the not so humorous side. Thanks for keeping it real.

I saw you made it over to my blog. Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy yours. :)

Jen said...

p.s. Happy Belated B-day. I turned 40 also on March 7th....ahhhh. Where have the years gone?

...The Obnoxious SAHM.... said...

not that you're not busy or anything! ((HHAA)) drop me an email at theobnoxioussahm@yahoo.com
I have something to offer to you! :)

beth said...

very funny! however, with five kids, if i can find ANYONE to watch them, i pretty much jump at the chance, even if they do say these things to me! hahaha

Together We Save said...

That was too funny. I will have to tell my older girls what not to say when they are asked to babysit. :-)

Kathy B! said...

I just came back over to re-read this list and laugh again :)

kel said...

That was hilarious!

Elle said...

LOL! All of these reasons are why we've never hired a babysitter for our kids.

Ambulance Mommy said...

"If there's an emergency, I'd just call 911....it's a really great way to meet hot guys"

oh the tears that are pouring out of my eyes right now!!!!

Thanks for the laugh! Hope all is well!

Corrine said...

so is there something wrong with watching girls next door while babysitting :) JK....though that became one of my quilty pleasures for awhile, they just made me laugh....

those are all too funny!!

Cheryl Lage said...

Bwahahahahaha! Seriously, for the first couple, I was thinking they were seriously comments you'd heard! (Slow on the uptake this morning... :) )

Love the new blog look, BTW...and hope you hear NONE of the above when sitter seeking!

Nancy said...

Yikes!! Further proof of why I never go out!

Buncha Blue-Eyed Monkeys said...

Oh my!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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