Saturday, April 11, 2009

What is it about me that drives my husband crazy?

After he works on either of our vehicles, I ask him a million times, "are you sure you tightened all the bolts....you're sure the tires are on securely....did you take it for a test drive to make sure everything works okay?". He always laughs and says, "you trust the guy at Jiffy Lube more than me...."

He hates the way I put the dishes in the dishwasher. My attitude is he should just be thankful I did the dishes....period.

When I use the hose in the backyard, I never put it back all nice and neatly the way he does. I leave it twisted and warped, causing him to shriek out obscenities when he needs to use it again.

Instead of taking the trash out myself, I'll tell him "oh, the trash needs to be emptied". He just looks at me and says, "is there a reason why you couldn't do it yourself?" Um....yes, it wasn't in my contract when we got married.

He hates that I can go days without sweeping the kitchen floor. He'll walk across the floor and whisper obscenities under his breath, as I see him peel a couple raisins off his foot. Seriously, dude...we have 4 kids....4 yrs old and under....by the time I'm done sweeping the floor, someone will spill something on it again. Why endure that kind of frustration? Just deal, okay?

He can't stand the way I organize things in the fridge and the freezer. After taking all 4 kids grocery shopping by myself and unpacking all the groceries, while the kids run around like the Tazmanian devil on crack, as if I have all the time in the world to make sure everything is nice and neat?? He should just consider himself lucky that his ice cream ended up in the freezer and not the pantry. Hell, he should just consider himself lucky that I even remembered to buy his ice cream in the first place.

It drives him absolutely crazy that I don't squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom when I brush my teeth. Oh, and I don't care if there's dried toothpaste gunk at the tip of the opening. This has caused him so much frustration that he refuses to share a tube of toothpaste with me.

He hates when I walk up to him after a long, exhausting day with a hairbrush in one hand and a bottle of lotion in the other hand, as I say, "Okay, so which is it....you wanna brush my hair or rub my back?". Sometimes he'll just roll his eyes and whine, "I'm too tired..." and I say, "oh, that's too bad because I was gonna suggest that we have sex afterwards...." I've never seen a man reach for a hairbrush so quickly.

He can't stand the fact that I'll throw anything and everything away if it hasn't been touched for at least 3 days. Like the piece of junk mail that has sat on the dining room table for the last few days that he hasn't even bothered to look at....yet the minute I throw it away, he asks, "where was that piece of mail that was sitting here? I was going to read that".

Well, after seeing how easy it was to come up with the above-mentioned things, I guess the question on this post should be "What is it about me that does NOT drive my husband crazy?"

21 comments:

Shelli (wishes she was) Mrs. Burchett;) said...

That is priceless! I would rather eat a bugger than take 4 under 4 to the grocery!!! I feel for you!

Meg said...

lol

Karen said...

I'm sure the list of things that don't drive him crazy would be longer!

And I was reading this I thought, "Crap, I do that, too!"

Ginny Marie said...

My husband and I have to have separate tubes of toothpaste, too. He never closes the fliptop. How hard is that? You just flip it closed, like this: flip!

Tami said...

Did I tell you I'm perfect? LOL. I never fail to tell my hunny hubby how perfect I am. How lucky he is to have me. Do it, tell him how wonderfully perfect you are to have around. He'll get the picture in a few weeks. LOL.
I'm serious! One day simply say, hunny.. I need you to take the kids to the grocery store. I have a horrible headache. give him a list and let him see how HARD it is! I've done it with the older boys. He NEVER did it again. Funny NOTHING on the list was bought, and he spent 150$ over what we had in the budget.
Yes.. I did throw that in his face a few times..

heh heh

Amy B said...

I LOVE this post...and to me you sound perfect...lol

Jenni Jiggety said...

You sound PERFECT to me!

The Mother said...

I have no doubt that your list of what about your husband drives YOU crazy would be MUCH longer.

Stacey said...

haha Jenn could make a list like this about me.

I hate that she leaves toothpaste gunked up around the opening of the tube and inside the flip cap. I hate that she puts food on the top shelf in the fridge (it's for beverages only!). I hate that she can't put food back where she found it in the fridge (cheese goes in the cheese/snack drawer - where you got it from - not on a shelf!). She almost never does the dishes, but when she does, she asks me to empty the dishwasher for her first. She rarely scoops the litter box and seems put out when I ask her to do it.

But what can we do? Right? ;o)

Kimberly said...

I was laughing so hard reading this post! Its like you and me are of one mind! When my hubs trys to flip me crap about me never once taking out the garbage I then offer to let him cook dinner every night and I will take out the garbage every few days. He then shuts up for a minute or two, maybe.

You are a very brave woman taking all four to the store! I may take one, maybe two but never all three by myself. Thats just asking for trouble.

wife.mom.nurse said...

I drive my firehubby crazy too. But then again, he drives me crazy... so I guess we are even.

As always, you make me laugh. Good endorphine release. You are my medicine ")

Happy Easter!

~Julie

Mrs Cooper said...

I'm starting to think that husbands just all go to the same school or something. They just don't get any easier do they??? Have a Happy Easter.

kel said...

Too funny! I throw away everything! It drives my hubs nuts!

Jen said...

I so want to do a post like this but my hubby is a faithful reader of my blog. It don't think that it would go over too well.

Desiree said...

Your not alone! I drive my husband crazy in all the same ways. Especially the dishwasher. I am actually going to refer him to your blog so he knows he's not alone in his struggle.

blueviolet@A Nut in a Nutshell said...

My husband is the one who spills immediately after I clean the kitchen floor. He also trashes the basement and blames it on my son! :(

The High Family said...

he seriously won't share a tube of toothpaste with you?! oh geez...

LOL

Happy Easter Helene! :)

MoodyMommy said...

THAT IS SOOOOOOOOO Funny!!! Are our husbands Twins?? I do most of those things and mine HATES it!!! Hehehe

Creative Junkie said...

The lists of things that bug me about my husband, and probably vice versa, are probably long enough that I could use them as stair runners.

Stacy said...

I SO feel your pain. I had jury duty last week, and he had to take over all my duties with the 4 kids for the entire day. Since then, i have not heard and sighs, moans, or even what DID you do today. The icing was on Saturday when he said let's clean the house together and get it knocked out. Pray for jury duty! I got the day "off" got to watch a movie and eat popcorn!

Elizabeth Channel said...

We have that same toothpaste issue, so much so that H now hides his toothpaste so I can't wreck it!

Funny stuff!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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