Thursday, April 9, 2009

"You put WHAT in your ear?"

Why??? Why?! Can someone please tell me WHY when I tell my kids to NOT do something, do they turn around and do exactly what I asked them NOT to do? Do they have this undying need to test out every single theory for themselves?

You'd think me warning them about several things, such as "never walk up to a strange dog too quickly without asking the owner if the dog is friendly", "do NOT run your little brother over with your motorized tractor at 10 mph", "never swat at an angry hornet....or run from an angry hornet, for that matter"...and let's not forget, the infamous "do not climb up the slide when someone is going down the slide", that they would say to themselves, "We should probably listen to Mommy....she knows about stuff like this". No....instead they say to themselves, "I AM INVICIBLE....I CAN PRETTY MUCH DO ANYTHING I WANT WITHOUT ANY HARMFUL OR UNFORTUNATE OUTCOMES".

Most recent attempt:

Theory tested: Do not put anything inside your ear.

Item used for testing: A very small seashell (just the perfect size to get lodged in a small ear canal, of course, because it wouldn't be any fun otherwise)

Children involved in testing: My demon spawn sweet, innocent first-born twins, Cole and Bella

When: last Tuesday night at bedtime (while Daddy was 45 minutes away playing soccer AND while Mommy's mini-van was in the garage, completely disassembled because Daddy never finished fixing the brakes....so no way possible for Mommy to take child to the dr's office, which conveniently closed just 5 minutes before the theory testing took place)

Where: Cole and Bella's bedroom (because that's where most of the disastrous theory testing happens....you know, the whole 'when the cat's away, the mice will play' thing)

How: Said small seashell shoved inside small ear canal (say that 10 times fast and you get a prize....my kids sent directly to your house via Fed Ex, at the cost of nothing to you...except your sanity)

Complications: Said small seashell completely lodged deep within small ear canal. Child comes to Mommy, in complete and utter defeat, "Mommy, I have a shell stuck in my ear". Mommy screams, "You have WHAT in your ear?? Didn't I just tell your brother right in front of you not 5 minutes ago to not put anything in your ear?? What would possess you to do this?"....child shrugs shoulders and looks completely dumbfounded and replies (say it with me, people), "I DON'T KNOW" because, let's face it, that's the catch-all phrase of the century when kids are confronted by their parents in the face of the obvious.

Outcome: Mommy uses tweezers to try to dig out seashell to no avail. Mommy calls advice nurse who tells her "whatever you do, do not try to slap the side of your child's head with the hopes that the object will fall out". Seriously? You just know they HAVE to tell you that because some idiotic parent actually did it so now it's part of the nurse's protocol to make that statement....kinda like the sign you see as you're about to get on a rollercoaster...."please stay seated at all times while the ride is in motion". After making several various phone calls to family and friends (with one awesome friend offering to come over and sit with the other kids while I borrow her car to take child to ER), Mommy finally calls next-door neighbor, who offers to bring over a pair of FORCEPS. Yes, that is what it has come down to....very much trying to avoid an 8-hr long visit at the ER.

Using the forceps, Mommy successfully removes the seashell from the child's ear.

The following short video was made, to be shared with other children who think they may want to test this same theory out.....the title is "Yet Another Sucky Outcome to Our Theory Testing"....

video

46 comments:

MommyAmy said...

LOL... I wonder if that was about the same age when I stuffed a frozen pea up my nose... and then it thawed and expanded... and my parents DID take me to the ER for it...

Yup, I still get to hear that story...

Meg said...

rolling on the floor!!!!!!!!!

That is too too funny. My oldest just committed to not sticking a seashell in his ear! lol

Kelly said...

omg that is hysterical! and your kids are too cute! i love the way they tell the story!!!

The High Family said...

LOL Oh Helene...you know I am really not laughing but crying for you! Gosh I hope I never have to experience that...but I do have a crazy story that I thought you would find funny because it goes with the "I just told you NOT to do it"...and the famous "I Don't Know" answer. And it just happened an hour ago...go figure.

So Ryan gets up from his short nap this afternoon and I tell him to go potty. I had Kara downstairs in her exersaucer, so I let Ryan know that I have to get Kara and will be right back. I also tell him that if he goes poop, to just wait until I get back.

Well, I am gone maybe a minute or two when I hear Ryan coming down the stairs...and guess what he has with him? Yep, the little potty filled with not only poop but filled to the top with WATER! ugh! And yes, he spilled that disgusting poop water all over the steps which are carpet- guess it's time to steam clean those puppies!...I think I will have my hubby do this weekend. ;)

I told Ryan that he can't use the little potty anymore...only the big potties. We'll see how well this goes...

I am glad that Bella is ok!

The High Family said...

ps- I had Ryan watch the video clip so he could learn a lesson too...and guess what?

He kept pointing at the Snuggle bear on the right hand side saying, "look mom, a dancing bear!"...

argggggg!

Tina said...

My ears itch now just thinking of something being in there. You are too funny and your kids keep you on your toes huh?

pengboo said...

lol...sounds like my kids when they were little. You MAY want to also clarify with them that sticking things in their nose is not a good idea either. Remember one eastr many years ago when small jelly beans were "snorted".

jungletwins said...

What? Doesn't everyone shove seashells in their ears? He he, so funny! Following the rules must be the most boring thing ever when you're a kid. Way more fun to break them ;)

blueviolet said...

I promise I won't stick a shell in my ear either.

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Cole is so funny! If we put our 7 children together, they could probably do more damage than Hurricane Katrina!!

MamaHen Em said...

OH NO! They are sooooo cute! I mean, shell = bad news, but soooo cute! Thank goodness you were able to get it out!

Onna@toddlercraft said...

Oh!! Helene!! You really make me laugh- I was laughing so hard I was crying reading your story about the shell in the ear!! I wish I had a quarter of your story telling ability and humor!! Not that it was funny at the time I am sure!!

You are not kidding when you turn your back for a second watch out!! One day I went in the bathroom and was enjoying 3 minutes of quiet, when it occured to me-No one is in here with me! What is going on-came out to find my three year old and 6 year old with marker all over their body!! something they never did before!!

LOL

Thanks for a great story- I had my kids watch the video!!!!

Onna

Kathy B! said...

Why, why, WHY do they do these things right after you tell them not to?! It's ridiculous and it REALLY tests the limits of my patience. Wow! You really struck a nerve with me on that one, I think!

Jen said...

I can tell you right now, lesson learned! Now I just have to get my 4 to agree to this. Oh and I have to make sure that I take some forceps home from work so that I will be prepared.

Yaya said...

Your kids are beautiful!!!!!!

And a shell in the ear?? OMG! Gotta love kids!

RecreationalArt said...

omg - that is all way too funny. thanks for the laughs

The Mother said...

On a strictly evolutionary note, the tendency for a kid to do what his parents warn him NOT to do isn't a good idea.

And yet, the human species still survives. Amazing.

Tami said...

heh heh, I can't help but laugh! I'm sorry, I know how trying it can be for us parents. Yet when it happens to another parent WE want to laugh. SORRY. I'd be having a cow. Seriously. I get frustrated daily with Calebs adventures. Usually several calls from the school, I BEG, PLEAD, BORROW, okay not really.. but I beg him to listen, to PLEASE, behave at school. LISTEN. Do kids EVER LISTEN? Geeez, little boogers! Said with much affection of course. Just wait for the teenage years. I'll be blogging about my son Daniel in the next few minutes and our adventure of gas, and a wipe out. yeah beautiful. GRRR..LOL

Sharlene said...

You know what my favorite part of the video was? When in the middle of it all you asked Bella if she had to pee. I don't know why. Maybe because its just such a mom thing to do. Yeah- I would say 90% of our timeouts involve the kids deliberately doing what I tell them not to do. You are not alooe in the defiant children dept.

Kimberly said...

OMG for a second I thought you had the idea to make a video of the actual forcep removal! The one you made was much cuter. I so relate to you on all levels of this story. Except I usually do end up at the walk-in clinic or the ER. What great friends and neighbors you have!

Ginny Marie said...

Oh, my goodness...the things I have to look forward too! Lily already stuck a wad of paper up her nose and I was able to fish it out, but nothing has gone in her ear...yet.

Veronica Lee said...

My boys watched the video and promised they won't stick anything into their ears.

LaurieJ said...

I love when she first describes you as 'trying' to get dressed! Only a mom with twins can try to get dressed each day!
Happy this was solved without the nasty ER!

Xazmin said...

I'm glad you got it out! Kids...why did we have them? Just Kidding!

Xazmin

bonnieearly said...

Bella!!!! LOL I like their version via flip video. That makes me want to get a flip camera. I'm glad to hear all turned out well.

MoodyMommy said...

Ohhhh, I love this!!! My son did the same exact thing a few months ago!!

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Michele S said...

I am laughing so hard at the video. For some reason, I can't turn up the volume on my computer and I can hear the kids, but your voice is too low and you sound like Charlie Brown's teacher. Muwmuwmuwmumuwa.

Bella is ecstatic from all the excitement. I bet next time it will be gum! LOL!

wife.mom.nurse said...

Great job! I hate ER's I think that you did a great thing in avoiding one!!!

")

LaVonne said...

Too funny! But you are not giving me much hope that my toddler is going to grow out of this phase of doing things I say no too.

My friends child put a gummy bear in her ear. The family doctor thought it was a tumor and sent them to a specialist. It wasn't funny for a long time. :)

IAmDenise said...

hahahaha thats awesome!!

I just love your kids even more now hearing them talk!

Hajar Zamzam Ismail said...

Mine are thirteen months old and they already test everything. If we tell them "No," that is their cue to keep on doing it, or trying harder to do the forbidden mischief. Mine are still at the age where re-direction works pretty well, and they HATE time-out! Two minutes, to them, is an eternity, heehee!

sniggleshack.com said...

OH! I get so nervous when I think of my child sticking something in his ear or in his nose. I'm glad everything came out okay (no punn intended) ;)

And as for theory testing. 2 days ago I grounded my 6yr old for scribbling on my desk with an ink pen. So what does he do 2 days later? He scribbles on his wood dresser with a marker. Why do they do this?

HarryJack's Mom said...

First, when did you have time to collect lovely seashells ;-) Several lessons from my school psyc training have come in handy, but 'never say DON'T' is one of the best! I try to make a game of figuring out other ways to say it, with mixed results...your video was great! Hope it's an insertion-free day!

motheringmymiraclemultiples said...

BTW...a drop of superglue on the end of a q-tip works great aslong as the shell is visable.....

Creative Junkie said...

omg.

I have to say, neither one of my kids got anything stuck in any orifices. THANK GOD. I do not retrieve items from orifices. I think that's written in my contract somewhere.

3 Bay B Chicks said...

I have so much to say, that I really don't where to start.

First of all, THANK YOU for the wonderful mention in your interview. We are so humbled by your words. I forwarded the post to Thuy, Kacey, and Tyler, and we all collectively "ohh'ed" and "ahh'ed." Reading praise from a blogger that we love and admire so much is wonderful.

Secondly, this post makes me laugh out loud...especially your commentary in the video about the brakes on your car and Bella having to pee. Hilarious!

I must ask, though, has the camera ever been turned on yourself? Is this something that you would be willing to do so? We would LOVE to have you participate in Chick Chat. Let's discuss if you are interested.

Enjoy the holiday weekend with your family, Helene!

XOXO, F.

Nancy said...

I remember when my now 11 year old did that with a pebble when he was 4. They are stinkers I tell ya! All of them are in cahoots to drive all mom's crazy.

Karen said...

There are some days that your stories make me scared to have kids!

mrsbear said...

They're lucky they're cute...and that your neighbor has forceps readily on hand. My oldest who is now 14 has burned her fingers twice on the stove because she didn't believe me when I told her not to touch the hot burner. Seriously? I believe she is also the one who digested a button...

Amy W said...

Fortunately, we've never had to take a trip to the ER with our girls. We do have a funny picture of the oldest with a green bean stuck up her nose when she was about two. It wasn't really stuck though. LOL!

The Daily Dean Chronicals said...

So, I have to say, I am the friendly neighborhood nurse that has come to many rescues! So kudos to that friend! Also I have to say I have not had to remove anything that was not supposed to be placed out of any orifice! I will count my blessings! Glad to know you survived and taped it for blackmail later on! Ha haha

newlyweds said...

Oh my goodness how scary! But I must admit that video is absolutely too funny, they are so cute! I called my husband in to come watch out kids in 3 years, lol!

Musings of the Mrs. said...

I had to have surgery at 6 years old because I stuck an eraser in my ear (to try to get out of school sick).

This video is too funny. Please have videos of your kids more often.

Joanne + Michelle, kookie girls clothing said...

Gosh! I got a q-tip stuck in my ear once and I was in my 20's! I have still not lived that down!

Thanks for popping over to say hi!

Jen said...

Lol...cute. Scary, but cute. Although there are still adults these days sticking weird things where they shouldn't. I see it all the time in the ER!

I'm glad you were able to get the shell out. Hopefully they'll remember your wise words of wisdom in the future!

Jenny said...

The video is cracking me up. It is good to know that my child isn't the only one that doesn't listen!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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