Monday, June 1, 2009

10 ways to make a toddler's transition from crib to bed easier....(on the parents)

I knew the day would come. It was inevitable. All babies must grow up. How do I know this? When they can start climbing out of their own cribs, I suppose it's time to face the music. And to think....just a month ago, I giggled as I told a friend of mine that Garrett and Landon still had not figured out how to climb out of their cribs. (ETA: Until I saw the linkwithin below, I had totally forgotten that Landon had climbed out of his crib once back in January but hadn't done it since....did he actually forget? Is that even possible?)

First it was Garrett who figured out how to escape climb out of his crib. I totally underestimated that little guy. He may be on the smaller side but he's smarter than I give him credit for. Then Landon, who is always observing others, must have watched Garrett climb out a few times and then finally dared to try it himself. They would wander around the house, usually waking everyone else up with their laughter or chatter. Cole is completely freaked out over the whole thing because Garrett will go in to Cole and Bella's room and just stare Cole down until he wakes up. I have to admit, there is something a little creepy about waking up to find a little person standing barely 2 inches away from your face, just staring at you until you wake up.

Figuring it was just a matter of time before one of them broke a bone or cracked their heads open from jumping out of the crib, I told Tim, "I think it's time to bite the bullet and convert their cribs into toddler beds. Goodbye 8-hrs of sleep per night....hello sleep deprivation....again...."

So 3 nights ago, the boys watched excitedly as Daddy converted their cribs to toddler beds. And then all hell broke loose. We took turns chasing them back into their rooms after each brisk escape. During the night, Tim took the 12:30 am, 1:30 am and 2:30 am shift....I took the 3:00 am, 4:00 am, and 5:30 am shift. Then they both hopped into bed with me at 6:00 am, along with Cole who was grumpy from being woken up. Same exact routine over the last couple of nights.

I'm so tired I can hardly see straight. If I'm gonna be this sleep deprived, I may as well have a 3rd set of newborn twins (um....God, in case you're listening...that was just a JOKE). So in my sleep deprived state yesterday morning, I whined to Tim, "I don't know how many more nights of this I can stand....I'm soooooo freakin tired". Tim shrugged and said, "Well, what can we do?". So I came up with some ideas that may require one more night of sleep deprivation but it would be SO worth it. Perhaps this isn't exactly what the gentle-natured Dr Sears would recommend but desperate times call for desperate measures.

1) Stand outside their bedroom door and as soon as they make an appearance (which they inevitably will), speak into a bullhorn and say, "You have been busted. Return to your beds immediately". If that doesn't scare them off, press the siren button to really show I mean business.....sure, the whole entire neighborhood will be awake after this but why should I have to suffer alone?

2) Lay them down on the bed and plaster duct tape on their foreheads and feet, completely adhering them to the bed for at least the next 8 hours....and pray like a crazy woman that the duct tape doesn't leave any telling marks.

3) Sleep under their beds and as soon as they set foot on the ground, grab their ankles suddenly and scream "gotcha"....although then I might get stuck cleaning two of the crappiest diapers I've ever seen (or smelled, for that matter).

4) Put broken eggshells on the floor next to their beds.....yeah, that oughta hurt.

5) Attach a pail of water to their bedroom door....as soon as they open the door, they get sprayed with cold water.

6) Put bubble wrap on the floor next to their beds....there's some definite shock value right there.

7) Pour super glue on the floor....that'll stop them dead in their tracks....and perhaps for the rest of the next day (which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing)

8) Hide in their closet, while wearing a Freddie Kruger costume....and right as they climb out of bed, jump out of the closet and sing quietly in a creepy voice, "One, Two...Freddie's coming for you....Three, Four...Better lock your door....Five, Six....Grab a crucifix...Seven, Eight....Gonna stay up late....Nine, Ten...Never sleep again"....although this method may land them in a therapist's office at a fairly early age (but then again, they are MY kids...they'll be in therapy at some point in their lives anyway).

9) Wait outside their room and as soon as they step foot out the door, start snapping pictures with the camera....the flash will temporarily blind them and most certainly incapacitate them immediately.

10) To hell with it....I could just get stinkin' drunk and pass out so heavily that I won't care that they've escaped from their beds....although I may still end up feeling like crap in the morning anyway. What's worse....severe sleep deprivation from being up all night chasing them back into bed or a vodka hang-over? Hmmmm, I'll get back to you on this one....

43 comments:

Meg said...

LMAO. Too funny.

I dread changing my littlest one over too. Nightmare!

Heather said...

I can't believe they're in big boy beds already! I hope they stay in their beds all night for you soon!

Creative Junkie said...

They really need to make an Invisible Fence for kids, don't you think?

Anonymous said...

#8 was done to my husband by his brother. They hung a mask from the ceiling so when he woke up it was hovering over him. I don't know how he fell asleep after that...

newlyweds said...

How funny!! Seriously I am so dreading this stage. What can you do? Lock their door, lol!

Tami said...

ROFL. I remember those days. Except I don't have twins. I can relate to the NO sleep. I've had little this last weekend. I'm grumpy today. I can't wait to take it out on my boss. LOL.

Have you tried the talk? I used to tell the boys if you get up, I can't hear you, (I did) what if someone broke into the house? I wouldn't know where you were to SAVE and PROTECT YOU. (we had a German Shepherd) and I'd pity anyone who broke into the house. He slept in their room. LOL.

It kept them in their beds, now their paranoid about locking every door every window before they go to sleep. heh heh.

They just stay up all night and leave me alone LOL. I love the fact their 18 and 21. They've even gotten Caleb to stay in bed. heh heh. (They use the same method with him) how can I save you Caleb.....
He doesn't get up. *grin

Get some rest! I know how ya feel, except, I don't have twins. Boy, oh boy. LOL.


HuGZ

Mrsbear said...

My two year old is still in his crib. I'm so reluctant to take this leap, argh, that sounds like a nightmare, although the bullhorn idea is genius. Good luck getting them to stay put. I would not completely disregard the vodka idea though. ;)

The Lane Family said...

You are so right...it does get worse in the sleep deprivation department. As I read this it brought back nightmares one transitioning our son and that was one chid, two!!!!

I love your ideas and I am glad that I am not the only one who has thought of some crazy things. I laughed so hard!!! I also love how Tim was like "What do we do?" The husbands get to go to work and at least have adult conversation..we get to prop our eyes with toothpicks and try to survive.

Mrs. M said...

I'm sorry you're going through this! Our solution to the toddler bed problem is and was leaving their bedroom door open and putting a baby gate across the opening. Then we just ignore them-I don't care if they are technically asleep or even physically in their beds (they could sleep in their closet for all I are, and Monkey actually has) so long as they are in their room and they are quiet.

Could they scale the baby gate? Sure. But THEY don't know that and a gate is the universal kid sign of "don't go here".

Plus, if they DID try to scale it, it would be noisy enough for me to hear so I wouldn't have to worry about them sneaking off and falling down the stairs.

Good luck to you! I hope things get better soon :)

LauraC said...

We are going to sound like mean parents but we have a doorknob cover on the inside of their door so they can't get out. Nate figured out how to take that off but then quickly learned we had reversed the knob so we can lock them in.

We did have a crazy time transitioning to toddler beds though. I put up a video monitor in their room and as soon as one put a toe on the floor, I would open the door and tell them to get back into bed. Over and over. 18 months later and they still think they need to stay in their beds!

Kim said...

I've got two words for you: CRIB TENTS.

Jenny said...

LOL! We have a gate on our daughter's door, so she can't run all over the house. She's been able to open it for awhile now, but at least I hear it fall to the floor and I know she's up.

Kristina P. said...

I definitely like the duct tape idea. I'm sure DCFS won't mind.

hotpants™ said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I always enjoy new visitors.

Michelle said...

I was so worried about switching Emily to a "big girl bed" as we called it. She did a great job. Since the new baby will be here in July I wanted to switch her before the baby came, even though she wasn't climbing out of her crib yet. She was also getting a new room so I figured this was the perfect time. She loved being able to get in and out on her own and slept in it without a problem. To keep her in her room we put a gate in front of her door. One night when I was leaving and forgot to put the gate up she looked at me and said "mommy gate" I guess it reminded her of her crib :0)

Jen said...

Soon and very soon my three with be free. I am so trying some of these ideas.

Sharlene said...

My kids will never escape their cribs. I refuse to let it happen. I will build a fortress if I have to.

lvlc said...

hahahahaha... When we moved Robert to a kid's bed he was 1.5yr. and it was because we moved overseas and we didn't want to move the crib to later be dropped for a kids bed in no time!

So when we moved he used his new twin bed with rails and that was it! It took him a few days and never woke up to our bed again (well, from time to time, but not because he didn't wanted to sleep in his bed at all)

MamaHen Em said...

We switched both kids around 14 months to big beds with a side rail and pushed against the wall. I honestly don't know why, but neither one ever got out of bed. Had one or the other ever pushed me though, I would have either put the safety knob on or locked them in. Oh yes I would have!

Angela said...

K-bug just slept thru the night, last night for the first time (8 mo old)!! DONT TELL ME IT WONT LAST!!! I Can't take it!!! I'll join you for a hangover! At least we'll get some shut-eye!

Angela said...

K-bug just slept thru the night, last night for the first time (8 mo old)!! DONT TELL ME IT WONT LAST!!! I Can't take it!!! I'll join you for a hangover! At least we'll get some shut-eye!

Drama queens mum said...

Hi. Visiting from SITS. Cute blog.

The Mother said...

I like the broken eggshells, but I have to tell you that even that wouldn't have stopped the Grouch. I'm thinking broken glass...

The Grouch started climbing (falling!) out of his crib at 9 months. He couldn't walk, but he was darn sure that he was gonna try--
we ended up putting his crib on the floor, just so he didn't have so far to fall. Hmm, now that I think about it, maybe that had something to do with his attitude?

Amy said...

What great idea. Sorry I have not been by in a while. I am at my parent's place and the computer was doing crazy things. Every time I got on your site it would just go nuts. Not today. I got in. Yeah. Have a great day.

Holly at Tropic of Mom said...

I am definitely not looking forward to switching to a toddler bed. My son is the Great Sleep Procrastinator. (My mother: "Sounds just like you." Me: "I don't know what you're talking about.") He actually would enjoy the water bucket and bubble wrap, I think.

Nancy said...

I think you'd seem this post of mine before http://onestopboyshop.com/blog/?p=114
We had to take Nathan's crib away at 16 months. Lucky for us, it was a really easy transition. My kids are all such great sleepers. I did have to put the door knob cover on the inside of the door for a few weeks (gate won't work with him as he hurdles those).

Good Luck, I hope it gets better soon!

Yaya said...

The flash will blind them! Lol!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

You poor thing! I remember those times, and sleep deprivation is the worst. Good luck and godspeed on the sleep!

WhisperingWriter said...

Oh man. I am so sorry. I hate going without sleep.

When Natalie started climbing out of her crib I just put a gate in front of her door. This helps a lot. Before the gate she'd wander the house and it made me nervous.

Deb said...

Been there done that. It eventually ended, wait, my 12 year old is out of bed..again! Just how do we keep these kids in bed?

I think when all of the kids go to college I might have a fair shot at sleeping through the night :)

Jenny said...

I have an award for you on my blog:
http://ourniftynotebook.blogspot.com/2009/06/mom-of-year.html

Amy said...

hysterical!

Amy said...

hysterical!

Jenjen © GottaLoveMom said...

Oh good-luck...I can't remember what I did.. I think it was an easy transition..I'll have some "cosmo" to-go..
Enjoy your week!

Michelle Hoad said...

the duct tape might leave a mark. How about bungee cords? As an experienced mom to seven, I know all the good tricks!

Debbie said...

I love this post so much. Why? Because I am done with that stage!!!

wife.mom.nurse said...

DEFINATELY THE LAST ONE!~

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I'm a fan of a duct tape/bubble wrap/Freddie Krueger COMBO.
Good luck!

3 Bay B Chicks said...

I like to think that you write for me, Helene. Case in point: "I may as well have a third set of twins." Absolutely cannot wait until we see you talking all about your life with your little ones in a few weeks.

I'll look for the duct tape in the background. :)

xoxo

Francesca

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

#10! I vote for #10!

motheringmymiraclemultiples said...

Oh Helene...you always know what to say to make me laugh. Wait til the hubby reads this one!

You rock, Sister!

Amy W said...

You forgot the shock collar. LOL! I am sooo kidding!

disa said...

情趣用品,情趣,成人遊戲,成人電影,成人論壇,成人,做愛,aio,情色小說,ut聊天室,ut聊天室,豆豆聊天室,聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,080視訊聊天室,免費視訊聊天,哈啦聊天室,視訊聊天,080聊天室,080苗栗人聊天室,6k聊天室,視訊聊天室,成人聊天室,中部人聊天室,免費視訊,視訊交友,視訊美女,視訊做愛,正妹牆,美女交友,玩美女人,美女,美女寫真,美女遊戲,hi5,hilive,hi5 tv,a383,微風論壇,微風,伊莉,伊莉討論區,伊莉論壇,sogo論壇,台灣論壇,plus論壇,plus,痴漢論壇,維克斯論壇,情色論壇,性愛,性感影片,校園正妹牆,正妹,AV,AV女優,SEX,走光,a片,a片免費看,A漫,h漫,成人漫畫,免費A片,色情網站,色情遊戲,情色文學,麗的色遊戲,色情,色情影片,同志色教館,色色網,色遊戲,自拍,本土自拍,kk俱樂部,後宮電影院,後宮電影,85cc免費影城,85cc免費影片,免費影片,免費小遊戲,免費遊戲,小遊戲

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
Blog Design by Likely Lola