Wednesday, June 10, 2009

"Your opinion does count,'s just wrong".

I had just read the latest on the whole Jon and Kate, Plus 8 marital affair fiasco and I was sharing my opinion on the subject with Tim.

He listened for about 10 seconds but then he just couldn't help himself. He had to cut me off completely and take the opportunity to share his thoughts on the subject, which were typical of any man..."well, she kinda deserves what she's getting since she's such a bitch to him".

I said, "So in that whole year that I was suffering from a severe case of PPD and I qualified as a 100% stark raving mad lunatic, it would have been completely excusable if you had cheated on me??" He shook his head and said, "That's different...." and the whole argument ensued from there on. I finally just shut down and deemed the conversation over with.

I can't talk to him about anything without him arguing with me. He loves talking about current events and other things that are important to him so I try to keep up with the latest in the news (as much as I can with 4 rugrats underfoot). But the minute I open my mouth on a subject, 9 times out of 10, he'll start shaking his head....I can almost see steam coming out of his ears.

Oh, and the few times I even dared to venture into a conversation about politics with him....well, let's just say, I almost threw him out of the house. He's a Rush Limbaugh fanatic and listens to talk radio all. the. time. So I guess that makes him an expert on all things political.

So back to the conversation about Jon and Kate....after I shut down and stopped talking to him, he said, "Oh, come on....what?!". I just shook my head. He kept egging me on..."come on, we can keep talking about it...". I said, "I can't talk to you about anything without it turning into an argument. I'm just wanting to have a simple know how that goes, don't you? I share my opinion, you share your opinion and we continue the conversation, while being respectful of each other's thoughts on the subject?" He replied, "I thought that's what we were doing...".

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "No....we were having a conversation until you decided my opinion was lame and then you argued with me about why your opinion is can't just be a simple sharing of my thoughts with you, it has to get turned into a heated argument. I just wish my opinion counted sometimes, ya know?"

He smiled at me and said, "Your opinion does count,'s just wrong".

Good to know, hubby....very good to know.


Jennifer said...

LOL! Opinionated and has a way with words? Gugh. Infuriating! ;-)

I don't like to talk about current events with my husband because:

1.) he gets fired up and negative
2.) he reads one article and takes it at face value. No other research, no other opinions
3.) it stresses him out, which then stresses me out 4.) most times, his opinion makes no sense at all 5.) we usually end up arguing

I'm so close to swearing off having conversations with him. ;-)

Alicia said...

Oh man..I thought you were going to share the latest about J&K!! LOL!!

I was cracking up at this post!!!!

Anonymous said...

Well kudos to you for not throwing a toaster at him! Men are definitely from another planet, no doubt about it. My husband's a scientist. I'm an art major who knows nothing about science, so we always end up arguing over the laws of nature or gravity or something. I remember trying to end a discussion once and him refusing to give it up, saying "But you're trying to defy the laws of physics!!" I have no idea what I was trying to do at the time- probably just moving furniture ;)

Jen said...

Oh no he didn't!!!!!!!

For the record....I think your opinion rocks!

Veronica Lee said...

That's so typical of most men I know!!!

Missy said...

This sounds exactly like a conversation/arguement my husband & I would have.
Men - UGH!

Laura said...

Oh. My. God! Do I need to drive to Cally and throw him out of the house for you?!

Kelly said...

OMG! My husband says the same things about Kate. I feel the same way you do...I am pregnant and my hormones are raging and I know I have a tendency to act like a lunatic...makes me wonder if he thinks the same about me. Our conversations on politics and parenting are the same if our opinions differ well then he must be right and I must be wrong. I love him but he is one of the most stubborn people I have ever met, and that's saying alot since I am the queen of stubborn!

Tami said...

Ugh! I know the feeling, I just ignore him.

Or he starts in on politics,
DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID, he hollers from the front room.

NO, sorry I was doing the dishes, the fairy quit last week.

That usually ends it for the night.

I agree with you, even though I don't watch Jon & Kate. I've heard about it from the ladies at work. =/

Morgan said...

Even if she does "deserve it", that still doesn't make what he did right.

Paula @ Organizing Tips For Moms said...

I don't think anyone deserves to have their marital vows broken. Love is about sticking by each other for better or for worse. Get help, work it out, don't cheat. That just creates bigger and deeper problems for everyone involved, including the children.

I find that conversations with my husband are usually hard. He likes to talk about events, I like to talk about feelings. I'm the one who will get worked up over a topic.

Creative Junkie said...

OMG - I could have written this. My husband and I will argue about THE stupidest things because he can't hold a simple conversation without telling me the way it SHOULD be. I can't stand it!

I keep telling him that sometimes, I just want to talk. Simply talk. I don't want to solve the world's problems, I just want to talk about how Wolf Blitzer's hair freaks me out and how his personality makes me hair follices fall asleep. It's not a commentary on his political views - it's a commentary on sheer boringness that is Wolf.

But my husband will try to find a "deeper" message in my opinion, which message is ultimately wrong somehow.

I can't stand it.

All About Aleigha said...

Your post just made me laugh out loud (at work)! Mine is the same way, loves to argue & he's "always right". Gotta love those men.

Mrs. M said...

Hubby and I actually debate all the time, and call us sick but we love it. It's like mental jumping jacks....or rather something fun but equally athletic.

To us an argument is when we actually care about a subject and it impacts our life (you know, when we argue about bills or in laws) but we LOVE debating over current affairs, politics, name it...just for funsies. My husband is the smartest person I know, so I love to pick his brain.

Even when he's wrong.

That's why we usually have to wait until the kids go to bed. said...

Yep, that's officially the Hubby Quote of the Year. Congrats! LOL!

Thank goodness for your blog, you can get a ton of deserve it. We think you are always right!

Meg said...

Want me to kick his butt for you?

I hate when men get like that and my stupid husband is the same freaking way!!! I hate that!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

So tell all husbands go to the same school??? You are not alone if that's any comfort at all.

Nikki B. said...

nice...reeeeeeal nice!!

my husband argues against me...even if he actually agrees with me.

he argues the other side NO MATTER WHAT!! it kinda makes me want a divorce!


Tracy said...

Sad to say, it sounds exactly like something my father (and, ahem...I) would say.

June & Sean said...

Same way over here! My fiance and I are total opposites politically, and every conversation has us seething mad.

BIO said...

We are always right (chuckles).

The Mother said...

While I never back down from a good intellectual argument, it can occasionally be a strain on marital relationships.

I hear a skillet is an effective end-point method.

Kristina P. said...

I was talking to my coworkers about this, how the media is making Kate out to look horrible and everyone is so sympathetic to Jon. Even though he's the one that supposedly cheated!

Karen said...

Jon and Kate are both wrong and I really wish they would kick out the cameras and work out their issues together without the spotlight.

As for Tim, well, I definitely understand your frustration. Philip and I AGREE on most things and yet he still wants to argue with me about stuff. I don't think it's necessarily me. I think that's just how he communicates. He's a man. He wants to fight stuff out and when I don't go down that path, he tries to egg it on.

Silly, isn't it?

LaVonne said...

Well when I first started to read this post I thought the title was going to refer to one of your children.

He just has not figured out that YOU are always right. It is taking him longer. (Hey, I have a stubborn husband too.) :)

kristi said...

Okay, are we married to the same man?

Also, we argue a lot about stuff like "did I tell him something?" He swears I didn't and I have to recap where we were, what was said, his response, and then he MIGHT remember.

In freaking furiating!

Amy W said...

And that's exactly how Rush makes arguments as well....

Hajar Zamzam Ismail said...

Bad, man! Naughty, naughty boy! Now mama has to "punish" you!

3 Bay B Chicks said...

We really must meet in person someday, my friend. Not only do I believe that we would get along fabulously, but since our husbands are essentially the same person, they could hang out and entertain one another.

Oh, and we'll just let the kids fend for themselves. :)


Jenny said...

LOL! My husband is like that too in a way.

Whenever I am mad and telling him the story about it, he has to be the devil's advocate. It's so annoying! Why can't they just listen? If I wanted an opinion on it I would have said so. I want him to get pissed about it with me! LOL! You know, like your sister or girl friend would.

Jenny said...

I don't listen to Rush, but I bet your husband is getting pretty fired up about politics these days. I know I am!

I have the opposite problem of you. My husband knows nothing about politics and always thinks everything will be fine.

Musings of the Mrs. said...

OH NO HE DIDN'T! Actually, I know he did because I think every man is like that and it is so annoying I could scream!

MamaHen Em said...

Oh NO! Mine almost always defers to me in stuff like that because I have him trained that MY opinion is always right. However, he does do annoying engineer-y things like last night when I was asked how long it took me to get to baseball, I had the audacity to say about twenty minutes and then I got grilled on whether it was acutally 20 minutes, or 21 minutes. ReallY? Really?

Mocha Momma said...

I love watching John & Kate. You know they always seemed to work things out at least on the air. I'm sad if any of it is true. I haven't heard details to form an opinion yet.
I hope you & your husband won't argue anymore about John & Kate.
My husband & I don't argue & that may be worse for our kids than people who express their opinions because you teach them skills rather than avoiding at all cost.
Hopefully your arguments aren't too heated.
Take care.

Zeemaid said...

phew that's a tough. I hate it when they are opinionated like that. He is lucky you didn't throw the toaster at him.

On the other hand at least he wants to share his thoughts with you. Some guys don't talk to their wives at all, about anything. Some small thing to be grateful for... I suppose. :)

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr

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