Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Memo to the bosses....

July 16, 2009

M E M O R A N D U M

To: My employers -
Cole, CEO of Crying For No Reason
Bella, President of Being Extremely Sensitive and Emotional
Garrett, Vice President of Being Overly Demanding
Landon, Director of All Things Smelly

From: Your dedicated, hard-working employee (aka - Mommy)

================================================

First, let me start this memo off by saying how wonderful it has been working for you all. When I was hired for the position of "Mother", I truly underestimated just how fulfilling and rewarding it would be. Each day is full of new adventures, among other things (yeah, let's just leave it at that, shall we?).

There are some things I've been wanting to address with you and I feel now is as good a time as any. I mean, it's not like you all could fire me.....right?

1) My hours: When I was initially hired, I understood the position called for 24-hour shifts. I had no problem with that. It was a new job for me...one that I had never done before and I welcomed the hours with open arms. However, over time, I feel like you all have been taking advantage of me. You never mentioned that the 24-hour shifts would be never-ending. I'm being paged at odd hours almost every single night (like 3:15 am) and I'm expected to work overtime quite frequently (although is there such a thing as overtime when I'm working never ending 24-hr shifts?)

I am proposing a change in my hours (don't you love how I make it sound as if it's your decision but we all know it's really not). I would appreciate not being expected to clock in any earlier than 7:00 am and I'd like to complete my work day by at least 8:00 pm, if not earlier. I'd also like to only be on-call at night for emergencies only, like when you have a nightmare in the middle of the night or if you wet your bed.....emergencies that do not constitute paging me: you have a booger in your nose that's not quite within your reach or because you're scared that your eyelashes are going to disappear if you close your eyes for too long. I haven't decided if "my butt itches" is considered an emergency....I suppose it depends on WHY your butt itches but, chances are, it's something that can wait until the next morning.

2) My benefits: This falls right in line with my hours (see above). I would like to be able to take personal days here and there, as needed. Of course, I would give you advance notice so you could find a temporary replacement (might I suggest your father, who is perfectly capable of filling in for me). Oh, and you are no longer allowed to cry, whine and scream to me "Mommy, I want you...." as I'm running out the door. Guilt trips will no longer be acceptable. I also would appreciate regular 15-minute meal breaks and 5-minute potty breaks for every 2 hours that I work. I think that's very reasonable. Furthermore, I will be taking sick days, as needed. Nothing excessive but if I should come down with a blinding migraine (that, chances are, you all caused...and I say that with all due respect of course), I'd like to know that I won't have the added pressure of having to work that day. Again, your father is a willing and able substitute in my absence (he may not be aware that he's willing and able but, trust me, he is).
Even though this is not a paid position, it would be nice every once in awhile to receive a gift certificate from you for a massage or a mani/pedi (just to show your appreciation of all my hard work).

3) My job responsibilities: While my job responsibilities were never really clearly discussed in detail, I did have an idea of what the position would entail. With that said, as time has gone by, I've taken on so many more responsibilities that have left me feeling overwhelmed. I feel like I'm not able to give my full attention and devotion to other aspects of my job because I just have so much on my plate on a daily basis.

The following is a list of jobs I will no longer be doing:
  • wiping the butts of those of you who are potty trained
  • running around like a chicken with my head cut off at meal times fetching "this and that" for you all that I never get a chance to sit down myself and eat
  • providing constant and never-ending entertainment
  • cleaning up the toys that you take out but never seem to put away (I'm not buying the whole, "But I don't know how to put it away" excuse anymore)
  • no longer responsible for scissor mishaps....you cut your own hair, it's your problem; oh, and no longer protecting any of you from chopping off your own fingers....one less finger means less nose-picking, which you already know annoys the hell out of me
  • breaking up fights 24 hours a day (one can only say "use your words" and "we don't hit" so many times a day before she is deemed legally insane)
  • warming your milk twice a day in the microwave (man-up already....from what I know, cold milk has never killed anyone)
  • fighting with you all to brush your teeth twice a day (if your teeth rot and fall out, you'll just have to drink all your food through a straw).

4) My right to privacy: Now this is something I feel very strongly about and I feel that it's gone on for way too long. I am now requiring total and complete privacy when I'm in the bathroom (that includes going potty, taking a shower, getting dressed, etc). The harrassment that I'm subjected to on a daily basis is just inappropriate and downright rude. No employee should ever have to sit there while the bosses ogle her and scream out, "Look at her boobies", while each of you take turns trying to grab said boobies. Last time I checked I was no longer required to fulfill the job responsibility of breast feeding.

From now on, you are no longer allowed to enter the bathroom when I'm in it (including sticking your hands under the door and yelling, "how many fingers can you see now?" over and over until I scream "leave me alone please", banging on the door repeatedly with the hopes that I will eventually cave and let you in, and beating each other up outside the door with the expectation that I will be able to hold my pee long enough to break up the fight).

Lastly, I would like to thank you for the wonderful learning opportunity you have provided me with. While I'm sometimes guilty of making mistakes and not performing tasks to the best of my abilities, I appreciate that you all have continued to encourage me with your never-ending smiles, hugs and kisses.

Someday, I hope to be promoted to the coveted position of "grandmother".

184 comments:

GypsyFox said...

WOW this is by FAR the BEST BLOG POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROTFLMAO I just love you!

Alicia said...

Oh my gosh, Helene..you need to have your own article in a newspaper!!!!!! I would buy it just for that!

MrsM said...

I nearly just died laughing right now...seriously-LoL doesn't cover it!

I'm laughing with you of course, because it sounds like our children were separated at birth! I'm only allowed to pee twice a day (not alone of course), eat once a day (after the big kids are in bed), and my boobs are seriously open season (I'm actually blogging about that tonight).

Maybe I should send my kids this memo!

Theta Mom said...

I LOVE this! Every mom in the world right now just said, "Thank you for putting this on paper!" Fantastic post and you gave me a good laugh along the way...Isn't it amazing what we do as moms EVERYDAY???

Meg said...

rotflmao, too funny.

Sheila said...

A fantastic blog - I wish I'd thought to write this myself. Very funy, but also very REAL! It just goes to show that us Mums go through so much together without even knowing it!

Missy (Two Little Monkeys) said...

You are great! I love it! So true! Do you think your bosses heard your requests?

Tami said...

LOL, I think you hit the nail ont he head with this one! My kids used to stick their fingers under the door and beg me to count with them. I did cave in and finally open the door. I couldn't STAND it anymore LOL. Stick to your guns! I LOVED THIS POST!
I laughed the whole time reading it..LOL *wipes tears off face.

YOU'RE HILARIOUS!

Christina said...

Let me know how that works out..I might try it!! ;) (great post!!)

Jen said...

I hope that they seriously take this memo under consideration. B/c if this works and changes things for you, then I need to start drafting my own memo.

LauraC said...

Have to agree... BEST BLOG POST EVER!

Heather said...

That is HILARIOUS! You have great writing skills, Helene. You should write a book of some kind.

Amy said...

I need to make a copy of this and hand it out to my little one. Of course it will be different but I so need one...

April said...

i was reading this last night at work and was cracking up after i read the part of being scared the eyelashes were going to dissapear if they close their eyes too long.
oh and the but itching thing :)
thanks for sharing!

Tina said...

Perfect post! I loved the privacy one especially because that is one of my struggles with my three munchkins. I am ready to write my own rules down after this and send out my memo. Thanks for the laughter.

Becca said...

You are too funny!

The Lane Family said...

This was awesome and I just loved it. I certainly agree with the hours of 7 to 8 p.m.

The Mother said...

Hilarious. Can you imagine your boss paging you in the middle of the night because his butt itches? Can't get the image out of my head.

There is a mid-level management position that opens up before "grandmother." It's "mom of teenagers who basically ignore her unless they need something desperately." I have to admit, since my promotion, life has been a lot better around here. I highly recommend it.

Mrsbear said...

Sign me up. I will totally join the Union just for guaranteed bathroom breaks. I'd like to add to that, for the older kids, NOT to wake me up when the go to the bathroom in the middle of the night just to tell me they've peed before walking themselves back to bed. Seriously, it's not breaking news at 3 a.m.

Great letter!

The High Family said...

Just when I think you can't get ANY more witty, you blow me away with a post like this! TOO FREAKIN FUNNY, Helene!

I totally needed this laugh after a crazy week with my two...thanks a bunch!!!

ps- when is your book coming out...I will be the first to get a copy! :)

Karen said...

Oh, Helene, this is great!

I could just picture everything you talked about and it totally cracked me up. Your kiddos are lucky to have a mom with such a great sense of humor!

Shelli (wishes she was) Mrs. Burchett;) said...

Wait until they are teenagers and you have to impliment the rule "Since you can't clean up after you make food, you can no longer eat!"

Mommy24cs said...

Thanks for giving me something to read while taking my first coffee "break" Although my 4 year old employer is sitting beside me on the couch and keeps interrupting me every 10 seconds about what spongebob is doing on tv!

Kathy B! said...

Mind if I copy this and submit it to my bosses? I think I need to re-negotiate my contract as well.

BoufMom9 said...

This was hilarious and wow, if only ;)

LOL about the boogers they can't reach! heehee

MommyAmy said...

LOL!!! Downright awesome!

Love the ending too! :P Can't wait to be a Grandma!

Em said...

Oh my - I bow to your greatness, which is difficult because I'm also giving you a standing ovation.

Hilarious!!

In that bittersweet, I so get you, way. Sniff.

Jenny said...

Too funny and oh so true!

blueviolet said...

LOL, I'm loving the fingers under the door! :)

Paula @ Organizing Tips For Moms said...

Very funny (and true) post! You do have set boundries....good luck with that!

Debbie said...

Wait a minute...you mean I can stop the butt wiping?

MamaHen Em said...

Do you mind if I make a copy for my own employers? You've captured the spirit of the job oh so perfectly!

jungletwins said...

Heehee, what a scream! My all time favorite is the "my butt itches" emergency. I think I'll have to use that sometime, like when my husband is trying to get me out of bed on the weekend. Can't move, Honey. My butt itches!

janice said...

Best post I've read in a long time! Thank you!

Michele said...

Can I copy this and hand a copy to my kids please???? :-)

Jennifer said...

Must. Print. Off. This. Letter.

I'm going to post it in my lunch room, and hopefully MY boss will get the hint! LOL!

Christine said...

Oh my I laughed soo har I was crying. It has been a horrible day in "mommy land" and this post gave me a whole new out look on life. I think I can even pull myself up out of this hole long enough to start tomorrow brand new :0)

Buckeroomama said...

You had me clutching my rolls of belly fat, laughing out loud!!
What a great way to start my day. Thanks for the laugh! :)

The privacy thing --I so hear you! :O

Sadia said...

Okay, you say it SO much better than anyone else ever has.

Mother of Multiples said...

OMG...can this get any better..how long did it take you to come up with this one. Please take this and submit it to your local paper. You deserve a publish on this one. I just love reading about you

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Can you cc this to the management at Semi-Slacker, Inc.?

They do not seem to grasp that I clock out at 8:30 pm. No exceptions.

Jen said...

Heen -

You have out done yourself again! This was too funny. I have to say I have always insisted on bathroom privacy for some things, thank goodness I ignored the fingers under the door!

Just wait till they get older, a whole new set of challenges will occur.

As a matter of fact, do you want to trade for a day?????

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Ha! Good luck on the bathroom privacy thing. But the rest? I'm all in! Awesome!

The Redhead Riter said...

Stopping by to give a little blog ♥ and thank you for visiting me!

Yeah, like you are going to change all those things...good luck with that...LOL

Andrea said...

Please write a book or something! LOL LOL LOL. And I honest to God remember yelling to my mom that my butt itched. What the hell??? I remember her slapping A&D ointment on to get me to chill out. Maybe that was TMI...but it's funny that you mentioned that!

wife.mom.nurse said...

I'd like to sign that contract too!

Got your message. Will email you very soon :)

Millennium Housewife said...

I'm printing that off for my wall, excellent and funny writing - cheers!
ps I'm with you on he privacy bit.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

But...my boss ogles me and says "look at her boobies" too. Perhaps I should complain!
;o)
LOVED this post!!

Lani said...

Funny post! This was a joke, right? None of that stuff is actually going to happen is it?:) I was really looking forward to not having to wipe their butts anymore, like, next year sometime?

Creative Junkie said...

You are such a good writer, Helene!

LOVE LOVE LOVE the scissors one!

Holly at Tropic of Mom said...

You crack me right the heck up. I love this! I sincerely hope your employers "get the memo."

Zeemaid said...

What a great post! I hope you emailed a copy to your husband so he keeps on top of those gift certificates.. you know ;)

Kim said...

Ha! I don't know how I missed this post last week, but thanks for the laugh this morning! Again I say, HA!

Mamatoosi said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA....(sucks in some air) HAHAHAHAHA!

HarryJack's Mom said...

Ditto that! And what's with taking the bosses on vacation already?? Hope you're having fun!

gaelikaa said...

Oh we've all been there. All mothers that is! Hilarious, great post, congrats and have a great SITS day.

cat said...

What a great post! I feel the lack of privacy is the worst, really. And I do think that the moms of singletons have no idea what sleep deprevation is. Greetings from another twin mommy in South Africa.

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

Very awesome post. I enjoyed it.
Nice to "meet" you. I'm following.
Hope you get a chance to check out my blog.
Have (you and your amazing family)a great day! :)

Mimi and Tilly said...

Brilliant. Brilliant. Brilliant. You made me smile first thing in the morning, which is no mean feat. I look forward to reading more. Sending smiles through the internet ether.

Yaya said...

Lol! I love your writing!

Elizabeth said...

Love this post. Especially the last line. I'm right there with you on the privacy - I can't wait to get that back!

GreedyGirl said...

Hi www.greedygirlsguide.com checking in from SITS

This is a very nice post

Jennifer said...

I am not even a mom and I found this a great and very funny post! We should all appreciate our mothers.

Sandy said...

Great post! One of the best.

Raising Z said...

That was so hilarious but frightfully true (and I only have one so far). You are a talented writer :) Happy SITS day!

Kari said...

Great post!

Sherri @ Luv a Bargain said...

What a fabulous, funny post. I wish I write like that!

Crystalin Dunn said...

Holy crap! You almost cost me an extra potty break from reading your post! You're an Erma Bombeck on steroids--love your take on things!! Besides, if we don't laugh, we'll cry, right? Thanks for starting my day off with a big laugh SITS sista!

Joy said...

Your kids will enjoy this read when they're in the thick of things down the road!

Congrats on your SITS feature day!

Christine said...

I can so remember the bathroom scenes you describe! LOL! The fingers under the door...haha! Great post. I really like the Roseanne quote you have on your page...so true!

Tiffany said...

This is absolutely hilarious. I can relate to it all but the bathroom scene cracks me up!! Mamas need some peace and quiet!!

A Fist Full of Dandelions said...

I can't stop laughing! Here it is 5 a.m. and I'm trying so hard not to laugh to loud and wake the baby.

This is great! I needed something funny like this before I went to work.

Kirsten said...

I am blinded by stream of tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. The bathroom thing, was priceless. I can SO relate.

Pam said...

Awesome post! You've described motherhood perfectly.

Christina said...

Sooooo funny! I'm curious to find out how the little bosses responded... another post? ;-)

Helen McGinn said...

LOL! Love this post. My best day was realising I had wiped my last bum. That was a champagne-corking-get-the-balloons-out moment which made me very, very happy.
I do get some odd looks, usually from my friends with one child as my kids run their own baths, make ME a cup of tea every day, get dressed in the morning with no fuss etc, etc. I had no choice but to teach them these things. Sanity, gone was never an option so teaching them safely how to make mum a wee cup of tea when they notice the steam coming out of her ears has been a lifesaver for us all. ;O)

Charlene said...

Oh my gosh - I think this is the BEST. Love, love, love it!

knit1kids4 said...

Oh, I could write a letter like this too.... so funny!

Eva Gallant said...

That was hilarious! Now I have to follow you!

Tania @ Larger Family Life said...

An absolutely fantastic post!

Astrid said...

This post totally ROCKS! LOL! Some days I feel like I could write a post like this....
Happy SITS day!

Queenie Jeannie said...

LOL!!!! Hysterical and oh-so-true! Brilliantly written!

That One Mom said...

So funny!!! I so remember those days!! Best of luck having your demands met!

Karen (KayKay) said...

Let us know if your employers meet your demands! Great post and I totally remember those days.

Sadiebug and her Mom said...

I hope you get your promotion someday!

Kimmy C said...

Joys of being a mother... and may I just add - Why do men not have to give up their privacy when they become fathers?!? My husband is able to use the bathroom/get dressed (majority of the time take a shower) without prying little eyes...

allycupe said...

Love this post! Happy SITS day!

Janna Bee said...

This is a great post! Good luck with #4!

4Hoffman's said...

GREAT POST!! Happy SITS day!

Mom of Three said...

LOL! Perfect! Happy SITS FB day.

{leah} said...

So funny!! Not only do they want 24 hours... they each want their induvidual 24 hours huh...

I think I might need to post a memo to my kids.

FRANNIE said...

I'm wiping the tears from my eyes from laughing.

Fingers under the door - I love it!

Frannie

lauren said...

ha! great post...

you really do have your hands full! you have a lovely family.

Melanie said...

Great post! Hope management responded favorably.

My favorite part was the privacy. My daughter has also stuck her fingers under the door while I was in the bathroom. What is that?

Julie @ Little One-of-a-Kind Design said...

HILARIOUS! I hope your employers gave you a raise and a bonus (but not the stinky kind)!!

Stesha said...

This is so funny, I wonder if I should ask the bosses for a raise? They might pay me with juice.


Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

withoutadornment said...

Hahaha! This is too funny!

Happy SITS day!

Andrea said...

haha great post!

BlogBaby said...

Helene you are hysterical!!

I may only have half the upper management your organization has but they are just as demanding. I bet some days you've prayed for a little company downsizing, am I right? ;)

BlogBaby's BabyMama

sweetjeanette said...

Oh how sweet!!! (stopping by from SITS) love the "promotion" to grandmother request!

sweetjeanette.blogspot.com

Ronnica said...

I hope they met your demands!

Life of a Stepmama said...

This post is downright hilarious!! Love it!! You must save that and show your kids later, too funny.

Love your blog, happy SITS day!

sandy said...

That is the funniest thing I have read in a long time! I love it!

Vanessa said...

Happy SITS DAY!!

Best post I've ever read!!! Just what I needed! Having a crappy sick day, this made it better!!!
Following you!

La Belle Mere UK said...

Jeeeeez..... you're not kidding about God having a sense of humour!!!

That post just reminded me to never have kids!! ;-)

Happy SITS day from the UK!

LBM xxx

Miss Behavin said...

Hilarious! Especially the part about privacy. OMG - my kids always sat outside the bathroom screaming bloody murder if they couldn't come in and see the boobies! Ridiculous, I tell ya!

Lamonica Epps said...

Great blog post. I really enjoyed reading it. I like the part about telling them to man-up and start drinking cold milk instead.

Stopping by from SITS

http://fabulousgccandles.blogspot.com/

Mary said...

Yeah, those babies change everything don't they?

Happy feature day!

Kerri said...

You are seriously hilarious. Great blog, great material! I see a book in your future....How old are your children?
Happy SITS day!
Kerri
www.sickofmg.blogspot.com

Perfectly Phillips said...

Stopping in from SITS...this is just too funny. Thank you for making me laugh...I know I have wanted to say most of that at some point! Your children are beautiful...you're doing good Mama!

Tonya said...

That is a great post! Happy SITS day!

Robbie S. Redmon, LPC said...

What a great post!

Just Jennifer said...

This is the best post I've ever read. I love it!!

Anti-Supermom said...

This sort-of-creed should be cross-stitched or something and handed to you at the birth of your children.

Hilarious.

Pollyanna said...

I especially identify with #3.

We recently instituted a clean up routine. Since the girls have an inability to see the stuff peeking out from under the couch, chair, end tables, etc, I go around and toss it in the middle of the room. They are then responsible for sorting through it and putting it away. I don't care how many trips up and down the stairs they have to make (whining about it is unacceptable), they WILL put away their own stuff.

PS - I make them take my shoes upstairs too. That's why we had kids, right? To change the channel, do the dishes, clean up our stuff :)

Emmy said...

This is completely awesome!!
I am so with you, I am done wiping butts of those that are potty trained!

So did the letter work? ;)

ItsKelly said...

Hilarious! Congrats on your SITS day!

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

awesome post! if only the recipients knew how to read!

happy SITS day

Brandi said...

This is absolutely hysterical and brilliant! It totally made my morning (and makes me a wee bit nervous when the day should come that I have kids).

Eve said...

I've just burst out laughing at my desk at work. Loved this post! Congrats on your SITS day! Nice to find you :)

InTransitClaire said...

Visiting from SITS, and LOVING your blog! So cute and witty :)

-Claire
intransitblog.blogspot.com

Heather said...

Really great post! As others have said - Hilarious!

Happy SITS day!

Heather

Karen & Gerard Zemek said...

Well said! What a great memo!! Hope your bosses pay attention.

Congrats on your SITS day! This is my first visit, but I'll be back.

Chief said...

Ha, a blogger after my own heart! I think we were separated at birth sits sista!

Brilliance!

www.ina9linebind.blogspot.com

Mel said...

Wow! This is an awesome blog post! What a great imagination you have and great writing! It's hilarious. I especially empathize with the bathroom privacy issues. I think this should even apply to husbands, though, too.:)LOL

Keri said...

Too funny. Very cute. Love the article here. Keri

Harmony said...

Happy SITS day, what a post I think I'll send that same memo to my boss LOL.

Two Normal Moms said...

Awesome!
***Ally

Cristina said...

Happy SITS day!

Thank you for putting so succinctly what I strive to everyday with my 5 kids!

I love them, really I do, but once just once I would like to receive a gift certificate for a massage or mani/pedi as a benefit!

Sounds like you could start a revolution. Hilarious! Thanks for listing this as your top 3!

Cristina

Robin said...

Ha, "Man up already." This was hilarious.

-Robin
www.robingillis.blogspot.com

Jules said...

You should totally try to get this type of thing published! Do some google searches, and find some magazines to query! I bet it would get picked up!

http://julesthediymommy.blogspot.com

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

Awesome!!! I can so relate to the bathroom. :)

Sevibabyyy said...

I wish I would've known about your blog sooner. I'm so glad that Moxie Media and SITS can bring us together. I now know what to look forward to in the future with kids.

Atlanta said...

Is this too long to fit on a poster board in my kitchen? Cause I would really like to point a few of these out to my employers as well. Maybe make a picutre board...Hm, Ill have to look into that! =)

Zeemaid said...

I totally loved this the first time I read it. I'm so happy that you're being featured today!

Congrats and happy SITS day!

The girl with the flour in her hair said...

Too funny! I love the warm milk thing...I hate doing that. What's so bad about cold milk anyway??

The post made me smile. Nice job!

Found you via SITS... :)

Jessica said...

Awesome and hilarious! I think grandmother is definitely a promotion! My mom gets all the perks and none of the work!

Tricia McWhorter said...

Stopping by from SITS. Great post. Couldn't have said it better myself.

shortmama said...

You just said what every mom wants to say in that post!

Days of Whine & Noses said...

Well said! Just wait until you have teenagers!

Stopping by from SITS

Laura said...

I think we can all relate, but it really doesn't get better. With teenagers, it's just different demands.

barefacedapproach said...

Please tell you that you made a copy for your hubby and you've printed this out and framed it!!! It's just TOO GOOD!!!!!! Love it! In fact, I love it so much I may print a copy for myself!

nicole said...

I love it! If only it were that easy to change your office hours!

a H.I.T. said...

Great post! Happy SITS!

Cole said...

Stopping by from SITS! This is the greatest post! I've been demanding private bathroom time for years, and haven't gotten it yet...even the dogs follow me in there now! Thanks for the laughs :)

K a b l o o e y said...

As everyone already told you, (but one more compliment surely can't hurt) this is terrific. What a pleasure to read. As they say, "It's funny 'cause it's true." Can't wait to read the other 2 SITS suggested posts and then become your follower. (I won't try to touch your boobies.) ((But I'm sure they're very nice.))
(((Wow, that was inappropriate.)))

Krissy @ B.Inspired, Mama! said...

The "cutting your finger off" but is totally hilarious! LMAO! You just put into words everything that has been going through my head! Thanks, mama!!!

A Real Housewife said...

I don't have kiddos yet, but imagine my life being something like this if I did. Love this post!

Happy SITS day!

Mia said...

I'm sure they'll love reading this some day!

Christy said...

Best post EVER!! You had me laughing out loud! Loved the bathroom story, I've been asked as least a million times, "how many fingers can you see now?". So cute! I have to follow you now, you're a gifted writer!

Happy SITS day! Enjoy!

Mighty M said...

Awesome post - way to put it into words for the rest of us moms!! Love it!!

firststepforward said...

AWESOME post!! I love it.

Happy SITS day!!

Kim Living Life said...

Being the mum of twins myself hip hip hooray, I am so with you. Mind you I am totally on the other side of hysteria now as my girls turn 20 in 2 weeks. I can look back down the years and laugh out loud. Keep up the good work and happy SITS day

Mama Mair said...

Well done! Well written.
You've summed up motherhood for all of us. I've been struggling with the same issues at home. Plus, since my hubby came down with a foot infection I'm also the nurse. She too seems to keep Mom hours and responsibilities.
Happy SITS day! You deserve it!

Rook No. 17 said...

I'm amazed that with all you do, you still have the physical and creative energy to write such a brilliant piece. What a wonderful gift to mommies everywhere, and what a treasure for your children to have when they grow up! Congrats on your SITS day! Jenn

Midday Escapades said...

Hi, there - I found you through SITS. I have to agree with commentor number 1 - the best blog post. You are awesome and so is your story and blog!

Missy said...

That is some funny stuff!
I can completely relate.


Happy SITS day!

Elizabeth Patch said...

you have such a great sense of humor for such a hard-working mom!!
Happy SITS Day! In a strange coincidence (because I rarely draw babies) tonight I just posted a sketch today of moms & babies (altho' SHE only has 2, not 4) http://moretolovesketchbook.blogspot.com/2009/09/infinity-of-family.html

Koo and Poppet said...

Happy SITS day!
your kids sound hilarious!! this post had me laughing out loud

Dainty Darling said...

Oh, that made me laugh! And I love your philosophy...""to those that say "wow, you have your hands full", I say "yes, better to have hands full than empty arms and a broken heart.""

Little Miss Baker said...

This is too funny! I love it! Happy SITS DAY my friend :)

Mox said...

Laugh out loud funny because it's true. So sadly, sadly true.


Great blog - here via SITS. Hope you had a great fb day!

Mox

Sandra said...

How clever! Very nice writing...and original. See you lots more.
Sandra

Rebecca said...

Surely Daddy could help with transportation to purchase mani/pedi and massage gift certificates :)!

Great post - hope you had a great FB day (I know I'm late)

Debbie said...

Oh my gosh,I laughed so hard at #4 I cried and forced my husband to let me read it to him. Heeelarious!

The Dapper Darling said...

You are sooooo funny! I only have one of those little ones and I relate!

Halle@HouseCapated said...

Hilarious! So very VERY true.

Cheryl said...

OMG, LMBO!!! Amen Sister. Sounds like you are doing a great job to me!!!!!!
Cheryl

My Baby Sweetness said...

AWESOME!

stopping by from SITs

Mrs. Montoya said...

Dropping in a day late from SITS and I am so glad I did. What sweet blessings for you - and so, so funny. LOVE IT

Pricilla said...

Happy SITS day.
Very, very funny!

The Sideshow Scrapbook said...

Wow great post...very funny. interesting and something we call all relate too....love it

Laura...dropping in from SITS
xxx

My Household Junk said...

This is ENTIRELY too funny. I'm listing it as one of the best blog posts of the week on Fab Five Friday on 9/25! http://myhouseholdjunk.com

Michelle said...

Great post!

I love the part about chopping fingers off and less booger picking. Awesome!

samsstuff said...

Hi from SITS!

Such a cute entry! I love the way you speak of job requirements, benefits & duties, so funny!

Katrina said...

I think I want better ours and benefits too! Happy SITS day

Amber@alittlemorecrazythancool said...

Hilarious- the bathroom part I find to be particularly important!

Hannah said...

What more can I say.... Everyone else has said it all. Except you will definitely love being a grandmother and in the meantime, we will enjoy all your unique and incredible posts between now and then.

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The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

Sorry, but I'm running a little behind from SITS! What a fabulous post. You put everything just how I would have said stuff. Especially after the rotten day I had today w/my 2 year old, I'm in dire need of one of those personal days! Thanks for the good laugh.

Emily said...

I'm exhausted with a 3-year-old and newborn so I can't imagine how your days are! Loved your post!

Kristin said...

What a kick arse post. Hope you had a fab SITS day!

Ali @ Mommie Life said...

You have a gift of writing!! I LOVE YOU!! I'm your newest follower and can't wait to keep on reading! :)

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Amanda said...

omg! thank you! i have 2 young sets of twins as well and you just made me feel normal!!!!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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