Monday, July 27, 2009

Not a "vacation"...but more of a "change of routine in another environment"

Yesterday was the BIG day! No, not necessarily the first day of our summer "vacation", though I'm sure some would call it a "vacation". Those are the people who either don't have children or those smart enough to travel without their children.

Yesterday was the first day of our "change of routine in another environment". We spent all morning packing the bags....and I mean, ALL morning. I'm someone who has to bring every little thing because I always have to be prepared. I'm the one you can always count on to have a little first aid kit (chock full of band-aids, first-aid ointment, nail clippers, tweezers, bandages and tape), thermometer, vitamins, Motrin, Tylenol, sunscreen, antibacterial wipes, kleenex oh and of course my Wellbutrin. Could you imagine if I left that baby at home? Within the second day, I'd be curled up in the fetal position on the bathroom floor, crying so hard that Tim would have to consider calling the paramedics. "Um, can you send an ambulance please....I believe my wife has FINALLY lost her mind".

On the drive up, I decided to pay the kids back for the hellish car ride they put Tim and I through on the way to the beach a few weeks ago. Since this would be another 3-hour ride, it gave me plenty of opportunities to drive them nuts. Every 10 minutes, I'd turn around and ask them "Hey guys, are we there yet?" and every time I saw a cabin on the side of the road I'd ask "Hey, is that the house we're renting?".

At first, they giggled. They thought it was funny. But after about 90 minutes, they weren't laughing anymore. "Oh, what's the matter, guys? Am I driving you nuts??" and Bella said, "Yes, Mommy, please be quiet". That lasted for about 10 minutes and then I started asking again, "Are we there yet?"

Finally, we arrived at the house. They kids ran in with excitement to check it out, as Tim and I lugged all the bags and groceries inside (oh yes, I brought almost every single item of food we had at home). I reminded the kids that we are renting this house and we want to leave it in the same condition we found it...meaning no tears or stains in the carpet, no smashed food on the floors, no writing on the walls. Then Bella said, "Do we need to treat this house like our own house?". I laughed and said, "Uh, no....we need to treat this house BETTER than we treat our own house".

You'd think that would send the message but it didn't. Within the first few minutes, the kids were jumping on the coffee tables (which incidentally each have a little square piece of glass in the middle) and the sofas. They looked like a bunch of wild animals, rather than 4 civilized kids.

Our first night here, we went to the lake and the kids played on the beach. We didn't make a spectacle of ourselves until we hit the grocery store to get the things I couldn't pack (like milk, ice cream, cold beer for Tim...you know, the essentials). The kids were running amuck, up and down the aisles...."Mommy, can we get fruit snacks...that counts as fruit" and "Mommy, since we're on vacation, can we buy some soda?" (to which I promptly answered with "Oh, let me correct you, dear child...we are NOT on vacation...this is in no-way what I would consider a vacation....and NO you may not have soda!")

Then of course that child turned around and asked Daddy for the soda, who said, "Why not? We're on vacation....here you go" and he opened up the bright orange soda for my children to share as we waited in the line to be checked out. It took a total of 15 seconds for the sugar to hit their systems and next thing I know they're bouncing off the walls....people were staring at us and some were even laughing.

Go figure....Tim was extremely irritated when the kids were still awake at 10:30 at night, jumping on the beds. I said, "And what did you think would happen by letting them drink orange soda before bedtime??!!" Every once in awhile, Garrett would come out to the living room and say, "Hi Mommy, Hi Daddy" and we'd say "get back in bed". He'd laugh and scream "NOOOOOO". Tim would get up from the sofa (that pretty much had his ass-shape implanted on it already) and chase him back to bed and yell at all the kids ("GET IN BED NOW"), who pretty much ignored him. I might add here that all the windows are open and the neighbors officially hate us.

Yes, this shall be an interesting "change of routine in another environment". I'll be sure to take pictures for my next post. Expect either lots of humor....or me begging for my last rites.

37 comments:

Christine said...

I am laughing so hard at this post you paint such vivid pictures I can actually see the kids jumping like Qbert from one place to the next. Oh wait maybe that was a flashback of my own wonderful angels. lol I dont know how you do it girl but I give you all the praise in the world!!

Kristina P. said...

I completely understand that it's not a vacation with 4 little ones!!

Heather said...

LOL...have a wonderful time, though I know it won't be a restful vacation. What was Tim thinking???

Sadia said...

You are a brave brave woman. I see no prospects of such changes in environment for us until the kids leave for college (barring requisite visits to family. And college reunions combined with visits to Disneyland.)

Morgan said...

Another trip to the beach?!? COOL! Kinda sounds crazy with all the kids, but still, very cool. Good luck on keeping the rental place like it was when you arrive :P

Christina said...

Have fun!! I know you will, and I know the house will be perfect when you leave it. ;)
Can't wait to see pictures!! Oh, I would be a mess without my most important item in my life too..my Lexapro. :0

AFlowerWithoutAName said...

I do have to say that does sound fun, why? because we did that to our parents and we thought it was the funniest thing in the whole world and we thought we were just such big kids for doing it... Have fun though.... Of course I agree NO SODA, never never......

Kathy B! said...

You are such a patient mom! This post is hilarious and yet underneath it all I can feel the frustration seeping through. And turning the tables on the kids with the "are we there yet's?" Priceless!!

Mommy24cs said...

We must be twins LOL. I take the first aid kit on vacation and have it chocked full of anything and everything that could be used in an emergency. It will get used too. I also pack up all our food in the house and take it and usually end up bringing most of it back because although I try to make meals to save us money, like your hubby, mine is constantly saying "Sure, we're on vacation" whenever the kids ask if we can eat out somewhere.
We've got a week to go til our "vacation"

Musings of the Mrs. said...

I love the "change of routine in another environment." That is so true its sad.

Meg said...

ah. Tim you dingdong, really? What were you thinking? DUHHHH!


Hopefully the rest of your trip will be a little less crazy. Maybe :)

Theta Mom said...

You will need a vacation FROM the vacation! :) Those damn fruit snacks, my son pulls the old "it's made with real fruit mom," too. I swear, they all read the same book. Try to relax and enjoy yorself in the new "environment." LOL!!!

The Mother said...

Why is it that men don't get the link between high-fructose corn syrup and late bedtimes. I mean, really. They know that we're not interested if it's past 10, and then they give the kids sugary drinks (with caffeine) and whine when we're suddenly unavailable when the kids finally crash at midnight.

Short sighted. Honestly.

Karen said...

I LOVE that Bella asked you to please be quiet. That's hilarious!

And I love it even more that you kept going!

Sharlene said...

Find an open field and let them roam free for a while. Encourage running in circles and vigorous excersise. Then drug them with nyquil and take the night off. Oops. Did I saw that outloud?

Robyn Jones said...

LOL! Awesome sounds like some of our "vacations".... except that I am no where near as organized as you are..(I think I will bring you along on my next one....)It is awesome that you like to torture your kids...(are we there yet) We did that to our first three, and I think we will continue the practice...why should they have all the fun...

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

I say it's not a vacation, it's a relocation. And I keep some Wellbutrin in my purse. Just in case!

Jenny said...

I just have one child, but I feel like I need a vacation after a vacation. You know how it is as the Mom, you are the one that packs and makes sure everything runs smoothly. By the time it's over, you are exhausted!

Jen said...

we are doing the same thing this weekend. No vacation, just a change in location.

Tami said...

LOL, I can picture him yelling..if I was the neighbor I'd be laughing my butt off!

I can relate! I remember taking a cruise when Caleb was 1! what the heck was I thinking? Then again at 4! What was I thinking then? Then again at 5.. NEVER AGAIN!

I'd consider a day at the mental hospital a day of leisure! maybe a month?!
Yes that sounds delicious-ly awesome. heh heh

HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME!

Mother of Multiples said...

We rented a house on Lake Michigan last summer and the summer before..great fun but lots and lots of work. We are taking a couple years off until they get a bit older. I can totally picture the unloading and the running around once they get there...It is just like being in a hotel for the night...Cant wait for more posts

The Redhead Riter said...

Cool!

Stopping by to give a little blog ♥

MrsM said...

A vacation with kids is not a real vacation. Not that we ever do any kind of vacation-with kids or not-but "vacation" implies "break" and that is definitely not the experience when you have a gaggle of children following you around...even if it's in a great location.

Tami said...

I awarded YOU

Now since I'm so not into rules, heh heh, all you have to do is pass them on.

I hate rules. LOL.

newlyweds said...

Sounds like a family vacation to me, full of sodas and hyper children, fun stuff!! Maybe one day soon you guys can take a real vacation (you know with NO kids) I hear some people do this, and I am truly jealous!!

Cascia said...

Sounds like a crazy night! I'm looking forward to reading more about your vacation with the kids.

Sadia said...

A friend of mine sent me this cartoon, which I think you'd appreciate: http://www.phdcomics.com/comics.php?f=1203

The Lane Family said...

Yes, I love how daddies are more then willing to give in and allow sugar for children at night. Then the daddies wonder WHY are the children not asleep...duh!!

I look forward to seeing the pictures and I agree with you a vacation is when Mommy and Daddy go without the kids or so I have heard.

Kim said...

I used to love to travel. Now I truly would rather stay home and clean house than take my kids on an airplane. You can forget about me sitting in a car with 3-year-old twins for more than 20 minutes . . . not going to happen unless you've slipped me a Mickey.

Hajar Zamzam Ismail said...

Have fun in your alternate environment, sweetie! :p

Nancy said...

LOL about the paybacks in the car. I think my husband would kill me if I participated in that!

Have a great time in your new environment... I agree that no vacation is ever a vacation when you have small children. :)

3 Bay B Chicks said...

After you have kids, vacation is defined by leaving the little ones at home, my friend. Next time, you and Tim need to hop a plane for anywhere-but-here.

:)

-Francesca

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

That is so funny! I can imagine how crazy it is but seriously, he gave them soda at night!? Also, loved the ass imprint on the couch thing!

BoufMom9 said...

LOL! Why, dear Lord, do those rental places ALWAYS have glass on the coffee tables??? Are they hoping the kids will break them?!?

Sounds like a typical "vacation" to me :)

Have fun!

Alicia said...

LOL! Are you guys in Tahoe? Our friend is going to let us use their timeshare, but we just have to give them a date!

Creative Junkie said...

Vacations are for people who have no kids. Otherwise, they should be called sentences - we're obligated to serve them because we're the ones who chose to procreate in the first place and this is our punishment.

I cannot wait to see photos!

HarryJack's Mom said...

So completely true - hope you get to change your routine in some fun ways. I highly recommend bringing a sitter along ;-)

Oh, and I forgot to mention on the other post, my kids love cemeteries, too. Church preschool brought us all sorts of thrilling topics of discussion - death, hell the devil. Lovely!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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