Thursday, August 27, 2009

There is a recurring theme around here and I don't think I like it....

Monday through Friday, it's a given. We have to wake up early because Cole and Bella have to be at kindergarten no later than 8:35 am. Perhaps that doesn't seem real early but we're discovering that the traffic at the school is horrendous so Tim has to leave the house super early just to make sure that the kids arrive at school on time. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, people.

Anyway, so on weekends, Tim and I like to be able to sleep in (you know, as in sleep past 6:30 am) and then when we do wake up, we like to take it easy and just relax. Well, Tim does anyway

For me, it's a whole different story. I was woken up last Saturday morning by Bella at 6:15 am...."Mommy, can I get in bed with you?". Why did the child have to wake me up to ask me that? Couldn't she have just quietly crawled into bed next to me? No, apparently not. So then while she fell back asleep, I stared up at the ceiling counting cobwebs and reciting Cheetah Girl songs in my head. Clearly, I have gone to the dark side....you know that's happened when you're in the car listening to High School Musical and Cheetah Girl songs....and you're by yourself. And you realize you're never coming back from the dark side when you're singing along with the music....and you know ALL the words.

So moving right along, last Saturday, once the kids were all downstairs, happily sipping on warm milk, I announced that I was going upstairs to shower. Perhaps that's where I went wrong. I should work on this. I mean, really....wasn't that just an open invitation for trouble? I need to start figuring out a way to sneak upstairs without anyone noticing (and then lock the bedroom door once I've managed to steal away).

Tim was laying on the sofa, sleeping. Or maybe he was pretending to sleep. I honestly don't know how the man can sleep while 4 children are running around screaming at the top of their lungs and the tv is blaring so loud that people in Florida can probably hear it.

As I'm in the shower, Cole runs in, "Mommy, Landon won't leave my train alone". I say, "What do you want me to do right this minute? I'm in the shower...please ask Daddy to help you". He says, "But he's sleeping...".

Then Bella comes in, but unlike Cole, she actually opens the shower door instead of screaming to me through the door..."Mommy, can you find my orange shirt for me? I can't find it". "Can you please shut the shower door...water is getting everywhere...ask your father to help you find your shirt," I say. She responds, "But he's sleeping...."

Next Landon comes in, knocking repeatedly on the shower door, "Mommy....Mommy....Mommy....". Everytime I say, "Yes, Landon...what do you need?", he just continues to bang on the door saying "Mommy, mommy". I finally open the shower door and say "WHAT??". He smiles and says, "Hi Mommy". I respond, "Hi Landon". He says, "Daddy sleeping". I said, "Yeah, so I hear. I need a few more minutes in the shower, k?". He says, "Okay" but continues to sit right outside the shower door, screaming "Done yet?" every 5 seconds.

Then finally Garrett comes in and he's crying hysterically. I open the shower door and say, "What....for crying out loud, what is wrong??". He says, "I want to watch Nemo movie". I say, "Well, go downstairs and ask Daddy to put it on for you then...". He says, "No, Daddy sleeping".

When I got out of the shower, they were all standing in the bathroom, just waiting for me to serve them. Are you freakin kidding me? So let's get this straight....Tim can sleep on the sofa downstairs without being interrupted or woken up but I can't even take a quick shower without the kids coming in every few minutes needing this or that.

I finally asked them, "Why do you all do this? Why do you bug me about everything, yet you let Daddy sleep peacefully?". Cole said, "Because he'll get mad if we wake him up....plus, you're a Mom....you HAVE to do everything. All Daddy has to do is sleep and go to work".

Apparently, my "Memo to the Bosses" must have fallen on deaf ears. Looks like it's time to renegotiate that contract again, as well. Or maybe it's just time to sign myself up for Wife Swap....and let my sweet family experience quite the opposite of what they've been accustomed to. Hmmmm, the wheels in my head are spinning now....



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38 comments:

Lauren said...

I think you should sign up for wife swap! I would watch that episode. Hell, I would even record it on the DVR for future reference! Nothing teaches children and husbands to appreciate what they have like having some crazy woman come in their house and take over.

Tracy said...

Oh yes, isn't it the truth? And mine aren't even walking or talking yet and they seem to have it figured out. Or maybe it's my husband that figured it out, I don't know.

You forgot to add that daddys also get unlimited private bathroom time WITH reading material, regardless of what the babies need when. Mommy will cover it. But God forbid Mommy needs a bathroom break! Hold it!

Liz @ Sugarplum Creations said...

Oh how I feel your pain! Daddies are somehow exempt from any sort of responsibilities this way, it seems. And yes, they all figure this out early on!

*I agree, you should definitely go on wife swap!

Jennifer said...

If it were you on the couch asleep, do you think the kids would've bothered their dad in the shower?

This, my friend, is the injustice mothers have suffered through since the beginning of time. I say we stand up and demand some equality around here!

... What's would the equivalent of bra burning be?... ;-)

blueviolet said...

If you were outside and down the block and your husband was sitting in the same room with them, they'd still look for you.

It stinks but it's real.

Brooke said...

wasn't it you that said babysitting would be good birth control? i think reading this blog could do the same trick!

AFlowerWithoutAName said...

Oh, that sounds like my house except that mine is 15 yrs old. She still sits on the tub while I'm in it or sitting on the ledge of my walk in shower, usually she has the dogs with her who walk in and out of the shower while I'm in it. But ya know what. I love it. She knows that I will listen no matter what... She would never do this with her father, even if he was in a closed door situation. Just think, they will always feel that they can talk to you and you will always be available for them. Not all kids are like that... Yep it does get draining but I will have great rewards when they get bigger.

Kimberly said...

That is exactly what happens to me every single time I take a shower. And my husband wonders why I don't shower everyday!

LazyCrazyMama said...

OMG!! Yes, apparently it is a Luxury for mom's to shower! :) I'm lucky to get a shower twice a week these days! And yes, all hell brakes loose as soon as I step in. One time my hubby actually came in to tell me one of the kids had a poopy diaper! Grrr :)

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

I completely feel your pain! And I can't even tell you that it gets better.

At 9 son knows not to bother me while I'm in there. I guess he doesn't think that sitting at the door of the bathroom and asking "Are you done yet" is bothering me?

Amy said...

I guess a Mom's work is never done. My little one is always at my side. When Daddy comes home I think oh she will move onto him. Just for a little while and she is back with me. Like right now. She is here throwing a ball around and talking away..
Now all of the books are going to be thrown off of my shelf.

Musings of the Mrs. said...

I admit, I can't relate, not having kids and all. But when I can, I am going to make darn sure that daddy gets woken up!

Christina said...

Yes, yes do wife swap!!! LMAO!!

Cascia said...

You should do wife swap! I've never experienced that. My husband is a wonderful father and he lets me take my showers every night when he comes home from work, whether the kids are awake or asleep. I hope that your kids wake dad up next time.

Kathryn @twinParenthood.com said...

I hear 'ya sister! I'd totally go on wife swap with you, but I fear we'd be swapping into the exact same situation we already have! (bummer!).

Here's another gripe. Everytime my dh goes to discipline the kids, it goes something like this... "B. Stop putting your feet on the table. Kat. Kat. Kat! B is putting his feet on the table!"

sigh...

Jen said...

This always happens in my house. Always. What I usually do is keep screaming at the kids to go ask Daddy I keep getting louder and louder and closer and closer to him until I am right in his face and then I sweetly say, "Will you please help the kids so I can take a shower?"
He usually jumps to attention. Works every time.

Mamatoosi said...

Wow. Just wow. Your husband is either brilliant or really really stupid for leaving another check mark in your memory book of wrongs. I can't decide which. Oh, I have one of those books, too. Doesn't every woman?

The Mother said...

I have the sleeping husband problem, too. I have no useful suggestions, because the kids are just more afraid of dad than they are of mom.

I can tell you that eventually they grow up enough that they think interrupting you when you're naked is really gross. Does that help?

Savvy Little Women - Kate said...

Hahaha, so funny - and sooo true! I don't remember the last time I was in the bathroom without a little one banging on the door!

Desiree said...

My kids will wake me up just to tell me they have a booger. Even if Kendrick has already warned them to leave me alone so I can rest. But if Kendrick's eyes are simply closed (he doesn't even have to be sleeping) they will not so much as touch him! Why is that? Between not having to be pregnant, being able to pee standing up and getting decent amounts of sleep I think guys have it way easier then us!

Jenny said...

This reminds me of the time when my daughter was a few months old and I had just gone to bed. I wasn't quite asleep yet, but she started calling out. I pretended to be sleeping to see if my husband would get up and all he did was start nudging me! LOL!

Six Feet Under Blog said...

Dads do seem to get away without having to do things. My little one will walk right pass Daddy and ask me to get her a drink!

Jackie said...

Sounds like my husband! he's apparently allowed to sleep allllll he wants, but mommy has to get up in middle of nights with babies, crying toddlers and kids, fix breakfast lunch and dinner....and where there is a single ounce of time in the day to get something done...they wont leave ya alone! Heck aparently I'm not even allowed to go to the bathroom to pee without one following me or them fighting over something!

BTW, now following you from MBC love your blog!

Karen said...

I would love to see you on Wife Swap!

I was always "afraid" of both of my parents when I was a kid. Not like I ever thought they would abuse me, but just that I knew certain things would get me in deep trouble that I would rather avoid. But I was always more willing to risk it with my mom than my dad because my mom was also more affectionate and forgiving.

Creative Junkie said...

As always, this cracked me up, mostly because it's so damn true and accurate!

My kids will literally hunt me down wherever I may be (even if it's in the next county over) to ask me a question, even though their father is in the next room. It's insane.

Shawn said...

Ok---do the wife swap thing---but don't change places with me----I couldn't handle it!! heh, heh...

Just visiting again over from SITS!

You are amazing, by the by.

Becky said...

OMG Helene! My kids and DH live by the all daddy has to do is work and sleep rule, too.

FranticMommy said...

OMG! that sounds just like my house! Both my kids will stand 2 frickin inches from their Dad and bellow across an entire house for me to come and make a snack.
Are you kidding me?
Daddy just stands there and smirks. "Kids need their Mom" he says.
No wonder I have high blood pressure!

MrsM said...

Isn't that the way it always works? Daddy is sleeping-don't wake him. Daddy is peeing-don't go in there. Mommy is preforming open heart surgery, but don't worry-fixing the door on your truck comes first. LoL.

Hubby says that I just need to be slower and grumpier when responding to the kids and they'll stop asking. I think if both of us did that they'd get all get scurvy and run around like in Lord of the Flies.

Missy (Two Little Monkeys) said...

I vote for Wife Swap! I have always wanted to watch it and know someone from the show - plus, can you just imagine what they would do if they were sent a mom who did nothing by lay around eating bon-bons!

yonca said...

I agree..Wife swap can help.
I have only one kid and he always asks me when he needs help.
But good thing is if I got enough for that day and couldn't handle one more thing anymore, talking to my hubby, changes things in a better way. (until next time :-))

Mother of Multiples said...

helene- this was a good one and a true one. I love it.....It is so true..why cant they ask their dad? it happens in our house too. Your posts really kill me. thanks for the laugh on a friday

Holly at Tropic of Mom said...

"Clearly, I have gone to the dark side....you know that's happened when you're in the car listening to High School Musical and Cheetah Girl songs....and you're by yourself. And you realize you're never coming back from the dark side when you're singing along with the music....and you know ALL the words." LOL!

I am trying to train my son to ask his dad for things when his dad is doing nothing and I am multitasking while holding his newborn brother in my arms. Maybe one day....

Kimberly said...

Oh I'm getting so mad because that is like my house! Not fair! Same thing - they don't wake Daddy because he will be mad. But I must admit "Daddy" has gotten better about helping around here. And I don't see how it's even possible for men to sleep with all that going on. I'm like you, once they wake me, I'm up. I've told them repeatedly if they need to come in my room that's fine but not to wake me up. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. ARggghhh. I feel your pain. Yes, time to renegotiate (yeah right)!

Cheryl Lage said...

Oh Helene, that is HYSTERICAL (sad, but hysterical!)

The "you're the MOM" line is used here, too. Suppose it's universal.

Have a great (and maybe sleeping late filled?) weekend!

Lee said...

I love this post! You could not have summed being Mommy better. I am always saying...I am not the only person you can ask in this house! Thanks for stopping by, stopping by from SITS.

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

If you figure out how to get on Wife Swap let me know. But then I'd probably get your family & it'd be more of the same, with an extra kid.

magda said...

How does it begin.... That evil cycle? Being oblivious apparently is quite profitable. Like in any job. Awareness is accountability!!! So apparently being oblivious takes you off the hook of people's expectations.

That was a fun read. Glad I checked out your blog. Thanks
maggie

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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