Tuesday, September 8, 2009

10 ways to make a trip to the amusement park fun....or at the very least, interesting

1) First things first, you must blare music from High School Musical on the iPod throughout the mini-van while on the 90 minute drive to the amusement park. Nothing gets you in the mood for a good time like teeny-bopper songs. Plus, your children will be impressed that you know all the words to "What Time Is It" and "We're All in This Together". Your husband, however, will finally be convinced that you have gone off the deep end, while making a mental note to himself to make an appointment for you with the therapist (in addition to the one you already have scheduled, mind you).

2) Daddy is required to be in every picture with any and all characters seen throughout the park. Even if he protests loudly, you just tell him, "Aw, come on, honey, it's for the kids". If he continues to protest, pull him aside and you may just have to get downright ugly with him and say, "Look, buddy....you better get in that picture, you better smile and you better act happy about it. Or you'll be eating PB&J sandwiches for a whole month.....oh, and you'll be sleeping on the sofa downstairs by yourself....now, go get in the freakin picture and act happy".



3) Of course, it's always fun when you look at the various animals throughout the park. You may think you're educating your children by them seeing the animals in person, rather than just in a book.....but they're really only concerned about one thing. Bodily functions. It'll all start when one child witnesses one of the giraffes pooping all over the ground (and of course he asks you to take a picture of it and the only reason you agree is because you can see the potential for an interesting blog post)....


And then they'll stare in shock as giraffe #1 pees and giraffe #2 drinks the pee as it's coming out of giraffe #1's body. This will spark all kinds of interesting conversations, starting with things like, "Just because giraffes do it doesn't mean that humans do it....unless of course you're stuck on a stranded island and it's the only thing you have to drink in order to survive....Mommy learned that by watching Bear Grylls on TV once" and "It's acceptable for animals to poop outside on the ground...it is NOT acceptable for YOU to do it".


4) The conversation will continue as you watch the elephants. You'll say, "Wow, look....the elephants all take a bath together just like you all do". One child will say, "Yeah and I bet one of those elephants just peed in the water too, like I always do". Oh yeah, let the good times roll....


5) You'll witness what true sibling love is when one of the little ones starts crying because the lions are not awake, as he screams, "I want to see the Lion King". The older siblings will start whooping, hollering, barking like dogs, meowing like cats, making farting sounds....anything they can possibly do to wake that darn lion up (which will, in turn, shut little brother up). The lion will be unimpressed as he raises his head, looks your kids over and decides they're not worth his time and he'll go back to sleeping. You'll mumble under your breath, "It must be nice to just lay around sleeping all day".


6) At some point during your trip, your kids will make friends with other young children....probably while you're all seated in the same area eating lunch. Some of the other parents (the smart ones) will beckon for their child to get back to their table, while politely smiling at you. Other parents (the ones who have to learn their lessons the hard way) will allow their child to continue engaging in play with your children, as they all growl loudly at one another and pretend to be lions. You smile at the other parents, agreeing on how adorable all the children are playing together so nicely.....until your 2 yr old twins teach one of the other kids how to spit. Are we having fun yet? Not so much. The mom of the child who now knows how to spit, angrily whisks her kid off all in a huff. You say to your husband, "Geez, it's not like he was never gonna learn how to spit, ya know? Some people just need to chill out!" And that's when you notice that there's no one else sitting around you anymore.

7) Your husband convinces the 2-yr olds to try one of the rides...."Oh, come on....just try ONE ride and see how you like it". They agree but only if one of the older siblings and Mom or Dad ride with them. The operator of the ride says it's cool so everyone divides up.

Before picture (Daddy bending down telling the little one, "You're gonna love this")....


Both 2 yr olds completely freak out once the ride starts. The operator stops the ride and says, "Would you like to get off and I'll start the ride back up again?"

After picture (Daddy's not happy, little one's not happy but at least one of the 4-yr olds is happy....it wasn't a total loss)...


8) One of your 4-yr olds will beg you to let him take pictures of the sharks in the shark tank. You try to convince him that the pictures won't come out very well because it's dark in there and the sharks are behind very thick glass but he won't budge. He says, "Please, Mommy....can I take some pictures?" and you hand over your camera because you're a glutton for punishment. You already know where this is heading. All 25 pictures that he took look like this....


After leaving the shark tank and viewing the pictures on the camera, he has a complete meltdown. Thankfully, one of the pictures manages to come out well enough to be acceptable.....you look up toward the heavens and say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah....I know.....I owe you one".


9) As the kids are waiting to go on the safari truck ride (the 2 yr olds loved this one, incidentally), you witness a wrestling match between two tortoises, who live inside the pen in the middle of the ride. The kids think this is the most entertaining thing they've seen all day. It's even better than the giraffe pee/poop incident. However, they're a tad disappointed when the fight doesn't result in either turtle dripping blood....you know, because a fight isn't considered a truly GOOD fight unless someone is spewing blood from any given orifice.


10) Finally, no trip to an amusement park is ever complete until everyone's eaten enough cotton candy to the point where their tongues are stained blue for a minimum of 1 hour......and a sugar high to last for the rest of the trip.



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40 comments:

Kathy B! said...

What an awesome trip! Your hubby is sucha good sport to pose with the characters. I hate having my pic taken with those things and I have no idea why!!

Kelli said...

Too cute! Your blog is always so entertaining. :)

Buckeroomama said...

I doubled over in laughter at the before and after pics of your hubby at the rides. Priceless!

Lee said...

Sounds like one of our trips!! Love how you broke it down!

Carly said...

Looks like a great day I loved the pictures of the sharks. You can tell your son I thought he was a good photographer

Amy said...

What a fun time you guys had. Love the blue tongues.

Heather said...

Looks like a fun day! Your kids are so entertaining!

♥georgie♥ said...

Oh Helene YOU.COMPLETE.ME!!!
so so so funny your hubbys before and afters OMGosh my tummy hurts from LOL
and this had me dying If he continues to protest, pull him aside and you may just have to get downright ugly with him and say, "Look, buddy....you better get in that picture, you better smile and you better act happy about it. Or you'll be eating PB&J sandwiches for a whole month.....oh, and you'll be sleeping on the sofa downstairs by yourself....now, go get in the freakin picture and act happy".

Kristina P. said...

The pictures with your husband are hilarious. He looks like he wants to stab you.

The Mother said...

With my family? The only way to have fun at an amusement park was NOT to go.

Horror stories. I have horror stories.

Missy (Two Little Monkeys) said...

Awesome list! I love all the pictures especially the ones of your "smiling so happy to be here" husband. Ha! My husband is the same way!

Jen said...

what a trip. Looks like you guys had fun. My kids would have loved that place.

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Does this also apply to Disney World? I may have to use your lecture on the character pictures! Or I may be too heavily medicated to care.

Jennifer said...

LOL! It just makes me warm and fuzzy reading your list! It reminds me of all the hard times me and my brother and sister gave my mom and dad. Aaahhh... I hope payback isn't as harsh. ;-)

Tsquared417 said...

That sounds like a perfect day!!

Laura said...

Thanks for the heads up! Now I know what to expect when we finally take the boys somewhere this fall. Oy! It's going to be a long day. Sounds like you had a great time too!

Christina said...

Aww, that looks fun! Glad you had such a great time!

Brooke said...

never a dull moment huh?

i <3 cotton candy

and i got a picture of two turtles doing the nasty at the aquarium. of course i had to email that one around.

Jenny said...

Last time we were at the zoo the daddy elephant nearly pooped on the baby elephant's head. My daughter was telling everyone about that for awhile! LOL!

Savvy Little Women - Kate said...

Looks like a fun day!

Flory said...

I love those trips where the kids get so excited and curious about the animals.

Love the pictures!

blueviolet said...

Your hubby's faces cracked me up!

And I have to admit that the giraffes pooping might have caught my interest in a special way as well. As long as I never ever ever see a rhino peeing from it's pee pee pole again, I'll be a happy woman.

Zeemaid said...

omgoodness I was completely cracking up over the pee and poop parts... I could so hear my children having that discussion right down to the peeing in the tub. *L*

What a good mom you are putting yourself all through that for your kids!! :)

Nancy said...

LMAO!!! The giraffe... omg, I might've hurled. LOL

2SetsOfTwins4Me said...

I had to come back to comment but i read this earlier today and the house was super quiet until i started busting out laughing.
And i am sooooo glad my boys weren't there when the giraffes were doing their peeing because they would of totally cracked up and it would of been something i would of heard about for a very long time.
Love the pics

Creative Junkie said...

OK - I'm sorry ... I couldn't get past the giraffe thing.

One drinks the other's pee?

I have seen Bear Grylls drink his own pee, but I'd watch that man drink anything.

Giraffes, on the other hand?

No.

*hurl* <---- me, totally grossed out and vomiting.

Lauren From Texas said...

you're a rock star mom! Love the blue tongues!

Theta Mom said...

What an awesome trip! The last picture is the best, blue tongues and all!

The Lane Family said...

I LOVE this post. First off the whole issue with your husband in the photo's sounds like something I would say to my husband as he whines about pictures.

Then the whole Giraffe thing, is something Aidan would also be fascinated by and want photo's of. I must say none of those things really bother me because I grew up on a farm and I worked for four years as a Veterinary Technician so I have a pretty tough stomach :)

Then the shark pictures...let's just say I have had more than my share of pictures like those on my camera that I have happily deleted after Aidan is no longer looking.

The things we do to keep our kids entertained and in the name of fun!!

Sharlene said...

Helene I swear one of these days we have to meet up. I think we ould get along perfectly. We have such similar experiences and senses of humor. You crack me up with every post.

Heather Kephart said...

Hilarious, Helene! You are a brilliant entertainer. I particularly enjoyed the tortoises and, "Daddy is required to be in every picture with any and all characters seen throughout the park. Even if he protests loudly, you just tell him, "Aw, come on, honey, it's for the kids"." LOL

Are You There Mom? said...

This seriously cracked me up! How funny are you!?

Robyn Jones said...

LOL! That is too freakin funny...sounds just a little bit like the trip we just took for three weeks to a different province..

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Donna said...

If I saw you at the amusement park, I'ld join your party in a second! I aint afraid of no spit and I bet we could even teach you guys a thing or two!

Hubby looks right at home with the park characters!

And I LOVE the blue tongues!

The Daily Dean Chronicals said...

Fun FUN Fun! I love that daddy is in every picture! That is a requirement of mine also! Thanks for reaffirming that I am not the only one that blares disney music in the car to get pumped up for a day with the kids! Hahahahah!!!

Yaya said...

The last time I was at our zoo the tortoises were totally full on doing it. Must be their time of year or something.

So gross about the giraffe pee.

Alicia said...

Oh, Helene..now that was too good!!!!!!

wife.mom.nurse said...

What a neat park.

Love the blue tongues at the end.

I am not so sure that daddy looks "happy" in those shot...just sayin'

The High Family said...

#2 was hysterical! (men)

#3 totally grossed me out and I don't know what I would have said to the kids...

Loved all the pics...especially the last one! :)

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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