Wednesday, September 23, 2009

11 things I won't be volunteering for at Girl Scouts....

I'm so not a PTA-Room Parent-Den Mother-Girl Scout kinda mom. I'll just put that out there right now. However, I do realize that my children will want to be involved in activities that will require participation on my part. With that said, I do want them to have a well-rounded amount of good experiences in extra-curricular activities.

So, of course, I wasn't surprised when Bella said she wanted to join the Girl Scouts....or Daisies actually, based on her age. Two of my friends have their daughters in the troop and Bella was excited about being in the same troop as they are. Okay, Helene....grin and bear it....just grin and bear it.

At Bella's first meeting, the troop leader handed me a stack of papers and said, "Please fill these out and then just turn them back into me when you're done. There are plenty of opportunities to volunteer". Girl Scout troop leader say what??!! As I looked over the paperwork, I felt like I was about to sell my soul to the devil. They were looking for volunteers in almost every area....seriously, there was one paper that had a list of 27 things to volunteer for and I could really only see myself doing maybe 3 of those things.

Here are a few that I did NOT check off, for obvious reasons....

1) Archery: Bow + Arrow + Me = Someone ending up in the emergency room. And do people even still DO archery....wouldn't teaching them karate be a little more useful? Just sayin'

2) Camping: Uh....no. Trust me, the Girl Scouts will not learn anything from me if I take them camping, other than how to let a campfire get so out of control to where an entire forest could possibly be destroyed OR how to learn (the hard way, of course, or there is no lesson in it) that adorable black bears are not friendly. Worst case scenario...."Oooops, I didn't realize those berries weren't edible....well, just puke them up and you'll be fine".

5) Cooking for groups: I can barely cook edible food for my family....trust me, those kids don't want cooking lessons from me and they most certainly do not want to eat anything I've cooked.

6) Crafts: I'm so not crafty. Sneaky, yes...shrewd, a little bit....crafty, that would be a big NO.

7) Hiking: I actually don't mind hiking but I seem to always forget to bring the essentials......like the time I took the kids hiking through that beautiful waterfall in Lake Tahoe. Everyone stared at me as my kids complained about being hungry, thirsty and sunburnt. In my defense, though, I didn't realize we were actually gonna hike up and down almost the entire waterfall so I didn't think to bring anything with me. Oh and we were all wearing sandals, not water shoes....HUGE mistake! I don't recall earning any merit badges that day.

8) Drama: I think perhaps an episode of 90210 would suffice as a lesson in drama....yes? The girls could learn how to steal each other's boyfriends, how to wreck their parent's cars while intoxicated and they'd learn about the consequences of having unprotected sex. Oh, wait...maybe they mean drama as in "acting lessons"...ya think?

9) Foreign Language: I know SOME Spanish..."hola, adios, buenos noches" and I can count to 10. But I would imagine that's not pretty helpful when you need to ask someone where the bathroom is or if you need to scream "HELP, FIRE". Thank goodness choking has its own universal sign which is understood world-wide. Guess I should've paid more attention in 10th grade Spanish instead of hiding in the back of the room, writing love notes to my boyfriend.....while he was writing love notes to someone else. Go ahead and break out the violin now...

10) Lifeguarding: Uh, wouldn't that require me to wear a bathing suit? I don't think I'd be able to rescue a drowning person while I'm trying to make sure my boobs stay where they're supposed to and, all the while, trying to make sure my ass doesn't jiggle too much when I run. Baywatch?? Not even close.

11) Dance and music: Seriously....the Girl Scouts would NOT want me even attempting to teach dance and music. Although I do still know every single word to "Baby Got Back" but I would imagine that's not something that Girl Scount Council would want the girls learning.

So what were the 3 things I did volunteer for??

1) Helping at troop meetings
2) Helping to make necessary phone calls
3) Helping to set up community service outings

Hey, at least it's something, right? If the Girl Scout Council were to see #1-10 above, I think they'd strongly agree that the above 3 are very wise choices of how to spend my volunteer time.

** I want to thank everyone who came by yesterday on my SITS day!! You all sure know how to make a girl feel special!! I'll be catching up with everyone very soon!!



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69 comments:

Busy-Family said...

Loved your post and I have have to agree about the Baywatch comment. Let's leave that to the young peeps.

BlogBaby said...

Was there an option to "Coordinate other volunteers"? That would have been my choice, those who cannot do, find others to boss around.

And for the record, if I ever find myself roped into letting BlogBaby join one of these "Troops", I'm gonna pray it's more of the "Troop Beverly Hills" type complete with a Shelley Long figure. Maybe you'd like to volunteer for that role?

BlogBaby's BabyMama

~*~ Melissa ~*~ said...

Hilarious! You sure did give some great reasons for not wanting to do those 11 things though!

Morgan said...

I'd say those are 3 pretty good ways to volunteer!

My mom and dad weren't/aren't camping. We never ever tent camped, we only did motels and hotels when vacationing (and maybe one time in a pop-up trailer).

I did Girl Scouts, though, and camped in tents, cabins, hiked, ect. It was a lot of fun. I am now a camping fan (as in camping with a decent bathroom, hot shower, and hospital nearby). Maybe your daughter will have a love for the outdoors because of girl scouts too :)

BTW- I used to watch Troop Beverly Hills all the time as a kid- pretty funny movie!

S Club Mama said...

:) I think you'd do fine at any of those things - but they really teach archery? yeah that's useful...
anyway, I could see a Troop Beverly Hills thing going on...love it.

*I'd sign up to call people, too*

Brooke said...

i've only underpacked for a hike once - and i'll never do it again!

Sweet Mama Jones said...

Happy SITS yesterday, lol. Sorry I'm a little slow...still working on catching up! Typical of me.
ENJOY TODAY!
SMJ

Heather said...

LOL...you're scaring me! There's no way I could do most of those either, and I bet Noly will want to be involved! The things we do for our kids : )

yonca said...

You are honest. I really like your site. I enjoyed to read your post as always :)
Have a great day Helen!

Kirsten said...

Another great post!! You are a freakin' Hoot!! My kinda gal.

Kathy B! said...

Step carefully here... I am not a room mom/GS kinda girl either and look what happened to me... They suck you in slowly and before you know it you're running the show! It's not actually that bad :)

And you shoulda signed up for archery!! No one ever does that!

Creative Junkie said...

I've been a girl scout mom for ten years, and I am SO not one of those PTA moms either.

I figure chaperoning the girl scouts and sleeping on the floors of zoos and aquariums and centers, etc., more than makes up for any lack of traditional volunteering on my part.

Crystal said...

Great post, Helene!

I know where you're coming from! My daughter's in Girl Scouts, too, but I rarely volunteer for any "jobs". The most I basically do is help sell cookies at my job and around the neighborhood. But the 3 things you chose are really quite doable . . . I'm going to remember those if ever pressed by our troop . . . :)

MamaOtwins+1 said...

And this is why I love having BOYS - I don't have to volunteer for ANY of those things, that's Daddy's job ;)

FRANNIE said...

Sounds like when my step-daughter wanted to join the Cheer Squad and the coach looked at me the first practice and said 'Great! We could use another assistant coach!'

Huh? What? Are you joking, I had 12 years of ballet I know NOTHING about cheering!

Her response: You'll pick it right up.

Gah!!!!

Mimi and Tilly said...

Don't let them bully you with smiles. Be strong. Love your post. You made me smile again.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I was so happy when my daughter became a daisy drop out! I always sign up for the least time consuming hands on volunteer position. Unfortunately, I have been sucked into PTO and room parent every year, but that is really to get the inside track on my kids progress! Just like when it's my day to bring snacks to games for my sons teams...HATE THAT!

Kristina P. said...

Those sound delightful.

Buckeroomama said...

Heh. That might be something to consider when choosing a primary school for J next year --i.e., whether or not I would have to much volunteering. Thanks for the heads up!

Sara E said...

hey there... what are the chances of being right behind you in the SITS blog train the morning after I found you late last night for your special SITS day... funny!

anyway.... good for you taking on some Daisy duties... I bet you could take on the drama mama one ... you have a little sass in your step so I bet it would be fun... dontcha think?

Melanie said...

I used to tell people I was afraid of having a girl. This (in addition to the whole sex thing) is the kind of thing I was talking about. Just because I'm female doesn't mean I know how to be girly. I was such a tomboy growing up. Thank goodness they always need people to make phone calls and bring plates/cups.

Christina said...

I often wonder what I will be doing when my girls are doing things like this...I can't cook, can't sew, can't camp..but I can dance!! I'll start working on my routine to "baby got back." Maybe I could share it with you! ;)

The Lane Family said...

So Funny!!! I so agree with you about not being the PTO,girl scout kind of mommy, but I am sure that will be in my future!!

I was a lifeguard but that was before, saggy boobs, big bum and 5 pregnancies...So that would be a no for me as well.

I also loved the idea of "throwing up" the berries if they are poisonness so funny :)

I was bummed I missed you on SIts, it was a crazy day.

Jen said...

Now I happen to think that you are crafty. You are full of good ideas.

Beverly said...

You go with what you are good at...my son just joined the boy scouts (tiger scouts).

Vicki said...

Okay, you brought up 90210, what is going on? Seriously, can they give one character any more plots they are going to have a hard time writing her out of? and I thought the mean girl was supposed to be a hottie. Just had to vent!
have a good day!

HarryJack's Mom said...

LOL! I'm in the midst of PTA volunteer Hades at the moment...it's very overwhelming when there are SO many requests. I asked one person what would be a reasonable amount to sign up for and she looked at me like I had two heads...is it wrong to try to set an expectation and meet it? Yikes! Best of luck with your three 'helps' - you rock! Great job yesterday, tho I didn't get time to comment

Shelby at DoubleUpBooks.com - The Twins and Multiples Bookstore said...

Too bad "successful blogging" wasn't on the list because you could definitely teach that! Congrats on your Twinny award, btw.

I once taught cheerleading to a group of 6 - 10 year olds. Here's what I know about cheerleading - "go team, hurray!" I don't know how I did it, but I made it through.

Gotta go... I hear my little cheerleader up there at the top of the stairs when she should be napping.

Kelly said...

Hope your daughter's experience with Girl Scouts is better than mine...our leader stole all of our cookie money! I don't blame you on the job choices I always pick stuff like that.

Lynn said...

I used to hike so much growing up but now I realize that the reason why was because my mom would pack everything for us to go. Now I'M the mom and guess who gets too tired to even THINK of hiking after packing us all up? Me. I'm so fat.

My best, Lynn

Amy said...

My Mom did the troop thing and went camping with us. We had a fun time. I would be with you on your 3.

Glad you had a great day.

Michelle said...

Happy SITS day (a day late but I am still here)!

PTA mom I can do, soccer mom not really my thing. I think it is all the driving back and forth then sitting.

Mighty M said...

I think you made some good choices. I too want my kids to do extra-curricular activities, but not so sure how into the volunteering I'm going to be...

Sharlene said...

No archery? Oh come on. You know you want to do it secretly so you can "accidently" hit that bratty little girl who thinks she is better than everyone as revenge for all the girls who thought they were better than you in high school. Oh wait- maybe thats me. I can't wait until Mari starts girl scouts. Archery here I come!

The Mother said...

I was a Girl Scout. I loved it. Except the cookie selling part.

I'm very lucky with my son's troop--they have one big fundraiser per year, and it's a one day deal. DONE.

Cougar Tales said...

Stopping over from SITS.
Pls don't make me think of Thin Mints!
- Cougar Tales
www.cougar-tales.blogspot.com

Megan said...

lol, too funny. I am glad i only have boys. Dads up and mom get a day off.


Sorry i missed your SITS day. I was dying, but then i lived, such a bummer. =)

Stephanie Faris said...

Wow...the Girl Scouts put moms to work! I don't remember them asking my mom to do any of that when I was in it, but I only lasted a year. Camping did me in. We were outside in tents and it rained the whole time. Not good!

kyslp said...

With our Cub Scouts will we let anyone do just about anything - experienced or not. Warm bodies are needed for crowd control. We'll figure the rest out as we go.

FranticMommy said...

Those are EXACTLY the things I would have checked off too! :)

Alicia said...

LOL about the hike and no essentials!!! Well, I'm sure it was not funny back then!

Haha..this was a good one..again!

Hit 40 said...

I like your picks!! I do not camp either. Just not into the cold/wet/ insect infested idea. I could also bring yummy snacks to meetings. Very nice!!

Laura said...

I am so proud of you for stepping out of your comfort zone! Although I have never heard of a "Daisy" Girl Scouter! Ha! Our stars must be in align, because I got sucked in to be a room mother today! Go figure.

Tami said...

YOU ARE HILARIOUS! LoL I love it. I wouldn;t be able to do 1~10 either

Mrsbear said...

My six year old just joined Boy Scouts and I am so dreading all the participating and functions. We sweat our collective asses off on Sunday at a picnic of which I have to say I didn't feel entirely welcomed. I'm just not a joiner. Group activities put my panties in a bunch.

And for future reference, it should be "Auxilio, Fuego!!" You're welcome.

Karen said...

Helene,

As a former Daisy leader - you have me LOL!!

You made some wise choices - and I've got great news for you - our free website, VolunteerSpot.com, can help automate #3 and make #2 mostly unnecessary!

VolunteerSpot is a free online tool that saves time asking for help, signing up and reminding parent volunteers. Great for coordinating campouts and meeting helpers, and a tremendous time-saver for cookie booth scheduling. No more late nights coordinating troop and school activities.

Have a wonderful year Scouting - your daughter is going to love having you help!

Karen
VolunteerSpot, DOING GOOD just got easier!

Jenny said...

Yikes, I'm not a volunteer person either! LOL about the 11 things you didn't sign up for. I'm with you on those. Especially the Lifeguard one! LOL!

Cathie said...

Your blog makes me giggle! My daughter is in Girl Scouts and all I do is drop off and pick up!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I'd have been eliminated from all of those things PLUS making phone calls. I hate talking on the phone.
I somehow found myself Room Mom for my daughters class last year. NEVER.AGAIN.

Eva Gallant said...

I never wanted to do any of that stuff either!

Sherri @ Luv a Bargain said...

Oh, I'm so glad I'm not alone:) I don't really have much to offer in expertise myself. I'm a good copy maker and cutter-outer though.

Karen said...

Reading what you wrote about camping made me think of "Troop Beverly Hills."

You never fail to make me laugh, my friend!

Halle@HouseCapated said...

Great post. I just joined the PTA and volunteered to chair a position. That has since turned into a nightmare and the other ladies can be so snarky! Is that a word? Well, it is now!

Mimi and Tilly said...

Thank you for taking the time to visit my blog and leave a comment. I know you must be mad busy with lots of blogs to visit after your SITS day. Your blog is fantastic. Your honesty about your daily life is so great. Sending smiles.

Mommy24cs said...

I am so not the PTA, volunteer etc mom either. I'm the type who will try to make myself as invisible as I can whenever we go to school functions because I'm so afraid someone will ask me to do something. I avoid eye contact as much as possible hahah.
I'm sure that's why I always feel out of place with other moms. They probably think I'm just a snob.

The Yager Family said...

I'm a late SITS visitor, and your blog is cracking me up!! Good stuff!!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Hmmm. Reasons to hope that my daughter is an introverted goth chick who would rather write bad poetry in her room than join the girl scouts. Just kidding! Sort of.

Halle@HouseCapated said...

Just wanted to tell you I figured out how to do the 3 column blog! The tip about Cutest Blog on the Block was perfect. Thank you so much!!

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

You are SO funny--this is hilarious! I can so relate to this because I used to help in Pioneer Girls. What a joke! Let's see, the weeks I chose to lead were on exercise and money management. I did go on the campout, but was clueless about how to do anything. I helped with clean up after the crafts. I also too a little video of "drama." Love your drama take by the way. I think you made very wise choices! Whar a great post!

shortmama said...

I think I would have picked the same 3 as you oh and maybe camping too!

freckletree. said...

Sounds like you should have "written in": educate Daisies with nineties iconic dramas.

First lesson: beef up the girls' freedom of speech with a mock-protest where scouts march and chant "Donna Martin Graduates!!"

Award with a badge resembling CJ's set of twins . . .

Flory said...

Great post. #7 had me cracking up. I never volunteer for anything that will involve too much of my time. I'll bring drinks and paper products.

Joy said...

HaHa. I totally LOL when I read your posts. Parenting magazine is having an essay contest about motherhood. You so need to enter!!

Vicki said...

Alright lady, you intrigued me into joining SITS!

The Daily Dean Chronicals said...

Hahahah! As a Mom of a Junior Scout now...we started in Daisy's! I know that scouting is a great opportunity to explore yourself and enrich your daughter, but it can also become a leech that is hard to remove! There is always something do for the scouts! I wish we could encorporate cleaning my house as a badge! Hahahahah Enjoy these years. Those little daisy's are so eager!

blueviolet said...

Those three things are essential to the smooth and efficient inner workings of all things Girl Scout. You are the queen.

KrysTros said...

I just became a Class Mom.....for my nephew. I am his guardian at this time. They needed a volunteer, and everyone stepped BACK leaving me out in front. I don't have kids, being around kids is a new thing for me. I totally understand what you mean! I am following you now by the way!

Angela said...

i'm sure glad i didn't get the list when we signed up!!! I'm with you on #10! How many more times will we have to subject ourselves to this with our other kiddos??? Yikes!!!

Paula @ Organizing Tips For Moms said...

You are so much better than me. I love to volunteer....anything that doesn't involve children. I'll set-up, clean-up, recruit volunteers, organize and create a flow chart, but I'm just not a kid person. When my daughter joined scouts, I felt like a heal leaving the meeting without volunteering for anything. I know my strengths and what to avoid.

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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