Sunday, November 8, 2009

10 signs that you've lost control of your children...

It's Lazy Sunday again! Here's an oldie, but goodie....

1) You're at the park and one of your kids asks a total stranger to help her on the monkey bars. When the stranger looks over at you and then says to your sweet child, "shouldn't you ask HER to help you?"..... your child says, "Oh, HER? That's just my mom".

2) While grocery shopping, your kids walk by the grapes and pop a couple in their mouth. When they notice the produce guy is watching them, one child shrugs and says, "My mom told me to do it".

3) One of their favorite forms of entertainment is throwing various objects up into the ceiling fan....and they actually high-5 each other when one of them manages to make a dent in the wall.

4) You hear, "Look at all that poop....GROSS"....and they're nowhere near the bathroom.

5) You threaten them with, "If you all don't stop throwing food on the floor, I'm gonna send you to your rooms"....and they stop long enough to look at one another and break out into hysterical laughter.....and then they go back to throwing food on the floor.

6) You respectfully get down to your child's level to speak with him and he plugs his nose and says, "Whew....you need to brush your teeth! It smells like someone farted in your mouth!"

7) Out of frustration, you tell your unruly kids, "Okay, that's it....I'm calling Supernanny".....and they scream "AWESOME!" and hand you the phone.

8) While out with friends, you brag to them about how well you've been doing on your diet....and then not 5 minutes later one of your kids says, "Mommy, are you gonna have ice cream for dinner again tonight?"

9) You hear giggling coming from your bathroom while one little voice is saying, "here, put these in there".....and you walk into the bathroom just in time to see them flushing an entire box of tampons down the toilet....

10) When the cashier at the grocery store asks you "so did you find everything okay today?" as she's ringing up your order, your daughter happily answers for you with, "Yep, we did. My mom knows exactly where you keep the wine and the beer. The wine is for her and the beer is for my dad. They drink it after we're in bed every night"....

...and all you can do is smile politely at the cashier and say, "Well, it COULD be worse....we COULD be drinking in the middle of the day while they're awake, right?"

You then make a mental note to yourself to remember to drive all the way across town to the other grocery store next time you need to replenish your wine and beer supply.....which just happens to be the next day.

MyFreeCopyright.com Registered & Protected

46 comments:

Alicia said...

I remember reading this!!

You make me laugh!! Definitely a goodie!

Eva Gallant said...

Hysterical!

Queenie Jeannie said...

LOL! Love it!

Gracey said...

Hilarious post!

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

That is hilarious!
Hope you're having a great Sunday!
hugs hugs

leigh said...

You need to write a book! It would be a best seller for sure!

LOL
Leigh

M said...

This reminds me of a story from my sister (my kids are not old enough for this yet)...she was having a hard time getting her teenage son to get ready for school on time so she threatend to put him in the car in what he was sleeping in (which was always just his underwear)and drive him to school. Sure enough the next day was her chance ... she threw him in the car in just his underwear, pulled up in front of the school ... he got out of the car and in front of all the other kids strutted around and flexed his muscles to the hoots and hollers of all the watching students ... he got back in the car and said "Ok ... are you happy now?".

His punishment? When he got home fron school that day his only possesions were the clothes on his back, a blanket, and a pillow ... she had taken everything that was his and put it in a storage facility (with the help of two of her friends). After 30 days of "perfect" behavior he got it back one item at a time. Every week of "perfect" behavior got him back one item of his choice.

The end result ... he is now one great kid with a lot of respect for his mama.

I gotta love my sister ...

This is a great post!!!

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

This is the first time I've seen this--definitely signs you lost control!

When did I become my Mom said...

Lol. You poor thing, you're totally outnumbered. So glad you posted this... mine were so out of control yesterday I put them in time-out (separately, at separate times) out in the patio yesterday. Physically out of the house. Because what I really wanted to say was go away (but just for a minute). Probably not the best parenting, but boy can they drive you nuts!

Buckeroomama said...

It's still just as funny the second time around! :)

Menopausal New Mom said...

That is so funny! they certainly keep you in material for the blog!! I can't wait to read more, keep it coming!

Erin M. said...

You definitely have your hands full. I've relinquished control over here. There's no point in my even trying. I'm outnumbered (not as badly as you, however) and it makes life hard & interesting.

This was really funny & a pleasure to read through as I smiled with recognition!

eight helping hands said...

Oh my goodness that was waaaaayyyyyy too funny! My kids love to announce how old I am at the grocery store, not to mention the size pants I wear. So I told them recently that I had lost weight on a diet and then told them my pants size was much smaller than it really is.
Also, should I be concerned when my kids go directly to the aisle where my wine is and grab a bottle of it and bring it to the cart?

Monkeys mama said...

Ohmigosh! This is so funny! Great post! :)

Mighty M said...

Hilarious. I love #4. Hope that never happens to me!!

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

I can related to a few of these feelings. The ceiling fan. Ah......lost a nintendo DS to one of those ceiling fan throws.

Booklover1212 said...

Absolutely priceless!!!

Have a GREAT Sunday!

~ Jennifer
http://thetoyboxyears.blogspot.com

Liz @ Sugarplum Creations said...

HA! My favorite is the beer and wine. That's classic :)

shortmama said...

That is too funny!

Samantha said...

My brother and I successfully threw a ball into the ceiling fan once, and it of course bounced of the blades and right into a chandelier that, of course, busted. Then, we were busted :)

I tagged you on my blog! Head on over there to check it out :)

Missy (Two Little Monkeys) said...

Definitely a goodie! I still laugh at these especially #6

Pam said...

Glad you decided to repost this one. I didn't see it the first time around and it's so funny and true. I guess you have to keep you sense of humor when you've got kids.

Twincerely,Olga said...

hystercally laughing here!!! Thansk I needed this today!I have been sick all weekend and just feel so BlaH!!!

The Mother said...

At least your kids have a solid understanding of the role of alcohol in maintaining family harmony.

yonca said...

One great post to read on Sunday!
My son talks a lot. I feel you! Especially number 10. My son loves to answer questions and surprises me in front of people all the time!!!
Have a great Sunday Helen!

kys said...

Bwahahahaha!!! My kids love to throw things at the ceiling fan. Particularly their underwear. They made up a game called Score The Undies. There is a point system and everything.

Erin M. said...

Helene, it's me again....wanted to tell you I know you have a huge following and you're super busy...but I love your blog and there's an award waiting for you over at my place.

Thanks for keeping me in stitches!

Amy said...

Thanks for bringing this out again....

K said...

This is my first visit so it's new to me. I love it.

Very funny.

2 Toddlers and Me said...

Hilarious! And frightening!

Michelle said...

Cute list!

Nothing wrong with a little wine and beer for the parents ;-)

Frugal Vicki said...

I LOVE it! That is great!

Nezzy said...

I'm takin' the liberty to rename this post to ten signs MOM might need a vacation. HeeeeHeeHe1!

Have a great day dear lady!!!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

AHAHAHAHA! Way too funny! Thanks for sharing! :)

blueviolet said...

Oh my gosh, your kids are so open and honest to the point of brutality! LMAO

Your house is a riot!

manker said...

i'm an identical twin so LOL ... what a hoot... never a dull moment
blessings
gp

Corrie Howe said...

Yes, kids keep us humble and on our toes!

Jen said...

All of these things have happened to me in one form or another. And yes, I will admit, I have totally lost control!

Theta Mom said...

Helene, you TOTALLY brought a smile to my face tonight. I enjoyed every single word of this post! So funny!!!

Savvy Little Women - Kate said...

Oh my, so funny!

Cheryl said...

LMBO!!! So funny and sooooooo true.

Clueless_Mama said...

This made me laugh even more the second time reading it:)

Michelle said...

OMG!! How funny. Thanks for making me laugh. I'm glad I'm not the only one that has "those" days!

Mich

Creative Junkie said...

I think I remember this one? But holy crap, it's just as good the second time around!

wife.mom.nurse said...

This is an oldie but goodie :)

Mama B said...

I linked to this on my Sunday Funnies this week, it's the first time I read this one and it's Funny!

http://tinyurl.com/ydyyr6r

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
Blog Design by Likely Lola