We've lived in our home for almost 8 years now. Within the first year, it was obvious that we were about to embark on a territorial war that we hadn't anticipated on.
A bird family decided to set up house on our front porch. It could've been swallows...or maybe even sparrows. I don't really know, to be honest. What I did know was that they were adorable, with their tiny chirping sounds.
The 1st year sharing our home with them wasn't so bad. It was sweet to watch from start to finish...the building of the nest, the mama bird laying on her eggs which would soon hatch and then we'd watch her fly lovingly back and forth all day long finding food for her scrawny babies.
The 2nd year is when we started to sense animosity. The same family came back and eagerly set up house again. But this time the temperament had changed. It was as if they were laughing at us..."You poor infertile humans...do you need a manual on how to procreate?"
The 3rd year was when the war began. We debated letting them join us again when they began to dive-bomb our fearful cat and crap all over our new welcome mat, which now was more like a "welcome to our shit-hole" mat.
This year, I said to Tim, "Okay, we gotta beat them at their own game!"
With the first sign of their return, Tim immediately took down their nest. We high-5'd each other...a sure sign of triumph.
But the birds returned....again. They were not to be thwarted. Another nest was in the making before we knew it.
Once again, Tim took down the nest and he bought a plastic owl to put up in the corner of the porch, with the hopes of scaring the birds off.
Did that stop them? No. They just stared down the owl, flipped it off and built a nest in the opposite corner.
I said to Tim, "You're NOT gonna believe this but they're building another nest!" He groaned and mumbled, "Damn owl..." as he took the useless piece of plastic back to Home Depot.
From then, it was game on. The birds were no longer scared of us when we could come out onto the front porch. They would just stare us down, as if we had some nerve to be invading THEIR property.
Tim knocked down the nest again, with a determination I had never quite seen in him before. I was turned on...the birds were pissed off.
The very next day, the birds were back but this time they seemed to have a new bravado about them. They had a new plan...
...called: Tag Team. One bird sat guard over the nest while the other went out searching for twigs and mud. When that bird came back to add his findings to the nest, the other bird would set flight in search of more stuff.
They stood watch over their nest for a good 24 hours.
But the birds didn't anticipate that we were standing watch, as well...knowing that, sooner or later, they'd tire of sitting in the same place for hours at a time. They had to eat at some point, right?
As soon as they abandoned the nest, Tim took it down AGAIN.
And he went a step further...he purchased some wood and some screen netting and immediately went to work building a barrier, which would prevent the birds any access to the ceiling of the porch.
So yeah, not the most attractive look for our front porch but we had to do something drastic...something that would scream "STAY AWAY"!
As Tim worked, every once in awhile, the birds would fly nearby and take notice of his handy-work. We'd hear a flurry of angry chirps and fluttering of busy wings, as they flew off to a distant tree to discuss the next step in their hostile takeover.
The next day, we noticed the birds kept flying back over and trying desperately to knock the screen down. I have never seen birds more determined than these two.
Tim was even kind enough to put one of the nests in the tree in our front yard but these are birds who like to be in control. No one was going to tell them where to put their nest.
On Friday morning, I heard a bunch of tweeting by the front door. Lo and behold, the birds were back....building another nest right underneath the barrier screen.
I immediately ran inside the house and yelled, "I hate to tell you this...."
Tim interrupted, "Are you SERIOUS?! Where on earth could they be putting their nest NOW?"
He ran out to see the birds scrambling as fast as they could to get their nest up for the 4th time in one week.
I said, "I'm starting to feel bad for them. Maybe we should just let them stay this year, one last time. We can hire a professional next year to help us".
"No," Tim replied. "This is OUR house! I'm just going to keep taking their nest down even it kills me!"
Problem is....I think it's become a man thing now (click where it says "click to start")
To be continued....
* No birds have been harmed throughout all this, physically speaking anyway. I'm sure their little egos have taken a hit though. If they do happen to lay eggs in one of the nests before we're able to take it down, please be assured we won't disturb them. Just had to throw this little bit in here for my fellow bird lovers.
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