Yes, it's that time of year for the radio stations to be playing tons of Christmas carols! I love it! Nothing makes you feel more festive than holiday music, am I right?
The kids and I have been attempting to make a gingerbread train this past week. I know, right? Like I'm all crafty and stuff? No, it's more like I'm just trying to see how far I can push myself before I need a hefty supply of wine....or serious medical intervention. Whichever works (and gets me out of going to the in-laws' for Christmas eve....ooops, did I just write that outloud?)
So while we were shaping and frosting burnt gingerbread train pieces and crying (oh, wait that was just me crying, not the kids) I had Christmas music playing in the background and when Deck the Halls came on, I started singing along.
The kids were like, "Whoa, you know this song?" Were they serious? I said, "Uh, yeah, I know this song....it's not like it was just recently written by the Imagination Movers or the Wiggles".
I said, "When I was younger, my friends and I would sing the naughty versions of these songs".
My kids wanted to hear them...of course they did, because they are MY kids, after all.
So I started with Deck the Halls...
Deck the halls with gasoline...fa la la la la la la la la
Light a match and watch it gleam...fa la la la la la la la
Watch the school burn down to ashes... fa la la la la la la la
Aren't you glad you played with matches...fa la la la la la la la la
"More, sing more songs...", they cried. And because I'm a horrible role model for my kids, I continued...
"Okay, what else....oh, there's the funny version of Jingle Bells", I said, feeling encouraged to continue being immature.
Jingle Bells, batman smells
Robin laid an egg
Batmobile lost its wheels
And Joker got away
Laughing hysterically, they urged me to go on...but unfortunately, all the other ones I knew were super naughty and seriously not meant for little children's ears.
You know, like Silver Balls, Your Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire, Do You Smell What I Smell, Grandma Got Bent Over By a Reindeer, Rudolph the Brown-Nosed Reindeer, Little Hummer Boy and Getting Knocked Up Around the Christmas Tree.
What??!! Don't act like you all never sat around with your friends on a dull and boring Saturday afternoon in the middle of December changing up the lyrics to some of the most popular Christmas songs! And don't lie...because Santa is watching and he knows if you've been good or bad.
After refusing to sing any more songs to the kids, I said, "You guys have to PROMISE me that you'll never sing those songs while you're at school or anywhere else, okay?"
Cole asked, "Why, cuz they're bad?" and I said, "Well, some people don't appreciate humor like we do".
Bella said, "I think the songs are funny and you're funny. You're more like us, Mommy".
I asked, "More like you how?" She answered, "You're more like a kid than a mom".
Yeah...I kinda deserved that. I never said I wasn't immature.
I asked, "Is that a good thing?" and Bella said, "Of course, it's a good thing. Who wants a mom who never makes you laugh?"
Excellent point. Okay, so maybe I won't end up on Santa's naughty list, after all.
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