Friday, January 1, 2010

Barbie's into recycling too..but not exactly the way I had foreseen

Every single day it's a huge battle to get my kids to clean up their toys. Every. Single. Freakin. Day.

I'm always running around the house screaming, "Put that toy away before you take out another one please"! But why would they listen to me? I'm just their mother.

And it's not just their toys that they sometimes refuse to pick up. It's also simple things like a snack bar wrapper or a used kleenex. They simply throw it on the floor, without a care in the world. I've tried imitating them so they can see how ridiculous it is..."Hmmm, I'm done with this bag of chips" and then I casually toss the bag to the floor and step over it.

Does it make a difference? No, of course not.

A few days ago, Bella asked me to open up one of her new toys for her. It was Barbie and her pet dog. With this dog came, a tiny plastic ball, a bowl for food, a little bone, a garbage can and a pooper scooper.

Oh, but wait...that's not all. Barbie's dog also came with little food pellets, which resemble brown tic-tacs. Can you see where this is going?

As I examined the dog, I discovered that its mouth opened when I pulled on his tail. Guess what was under the dog's tail? A butt-hole. Seriously. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

Just when I thought Barbie had everything...alas, she does not. Sure, she gets a 23-inch waist, perky 36DD boobs, and gorgeous flowing long blonde hair but she has no butt-hole. My kids think this is a heinous crime.

Curiosity got the best of me and I put a "pellet" into the dog's mouth. He promptly lifted his tail and the "pellet" fell out his backside. The kids thought this was hysterical and started yelling over one another, "It's my turn to make the dog go poop" and "I'll put the food in his mouth and you catch the poop".

They also discovered that Barbie's pooper-scooper actually works.

So basically the kids feed the dog the brown food pellets and he quickly poops them out his backside. Then they scoop up the pellets with the pooper scooper and place them into the garbage, which dumps the pellets back into the little box of dog food. How's that for recycling? Barbie goes green...who knew?

Bella said, "That's so cool. The dog just keeps eating his own poop!" Uh, no, more like...that's so disgusting...but whatever, if it keeps the kids entertained so I can sit down for one whole minute during the entire day, who am I to argue with them.


And 4 hours later, they were STILL playing with it AND getting along with one another. Most of all, they truly enjoyed feeding that damn dog and making it poop, just so they could clean up after it.

Oh, and then they decided to skip the garbage can altogether and just put the pellets directly from the pooper scooper back into the dog's mouth after it crapped.

Yet, they still won't clean up after themselves.

The way I see it is if the makers of Barbie could turn her into a garbage collector, with a handy little garbage-picker-upper-thingie I may have a shot in the dark of getting my kids to clean up their stuff.

Maybe...but probably not.

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61 comments:

mellisarock said...

Seriously...I had to compose myself before I could leave a comment! That was so FUNNY!! :) Thanks I need a good belly laugh today!!

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

That is hysterical and a bit gross that the dog poops. Soon, they will get tired of cleaning up the poo and there will be little brown pellets everywhere that you get to step over. It's the trickle down effect.

Angela said...

I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING! My fave post by far! :) I shared this lovely post w/my 11yr old and he said "that's sick!" Says the boy who played in his own poo with hotwheels! How quickly they forget!

D said...

Hey, if Bella,Landon and Garrett want to clean up after a dog I have a real one who poops and pees in the house. I'd be more then thrilled to have them come over and clean up after her and it won't be little brown pelletts either. Yeah, Barbie annoys me but I do feel some sympathy for her. Think about it. She's got no butthole, her and Ken broke up and he's not manhood. That's no way to go through life I tell ya!

D said...

OH, and Cole too. Send'em all. The boys won't help me clean up after her at all!

Twin-Spiration said...

I promise I can feel your pain...for a moment there I thought I had written the beginning of this blog. LOL I am SO thankful to know that my kids are normal because it absolutely blows my mind how little they care about not picking up their stuff.
Also, your blog is friggin adorable...do you have someone that does it or do you?
Happy New Year!
www.twin-spiration.com
P.S. I'm gonna grab your button for my blog.

Mrs Montoya said...

Ha Ha Ha! My daughter got the same damn Barbie. I threw away the pellets when I had to get a crow bar to open the package. Now I'm ALMOST wishing I'd kept them. ALMOST. I just can't bare a million more small pieces. My least favorite thing about Christmas by far!

Clueless_Mama said...

OMG Helene! You had me cracking up with this one. I think I may need to get me one of those for my son. That would keep him busy for hours!! Thanks for a good laugh.

Merri Ann said...

That is hysterical ... I used to have a real dog that did that ... and, unfortunately, loved to lick everyone.

In other news ... funny how at preschool the teachers clap their hands and sing their little song and my kids run to put all their stuff away ... I have witnessed this myself. When I quiz them about how they accomplish this, they say it's all about expectation ... Well I "expect" my kids to not only clean up after themselves, but to "go" in the toilet, dress, bathe, etc ... none of which they do willingly.

Thanks for the great laugh and for visiting my blog.

Buckeroomama said...

Once in a very rare while, my children will pick up after themselves --if they want something really badly from me or if I'd threatened to throw away any toy that I see on the floor!

Can I buy just the dog without the Barbie? :) I am hoping to get through Z's childhood without her owning a single Barbie!

Jenn said...

I saw that Barbie...so gross! But hey, I'm all for anything that keeps the kiddos occupied like that. :)

Eva Gallant said...

That is hysterical! I'm still laughing!

beckyblogs said...

Helene, you're a better mom than me! One of my foster daughters got that toy a few Christmases ago and I took the pellets away without even opening the little baggy they were in.

A Mom With A View said...

...tooooo funny...ya know I was a little annoyed at my hubby..this morning..(whatever)...and I read your post..was laughing so hard..he came in to find out why...I had to tell him..and we both laughed together..(he really gets things that have to do with poop)..now Im not mad anymore at him...voilaa..reading funny posts can solve marital discord..I do think he was a little jealous I wasnt laughing at something he did..LOL

Nobody said...

LOL your pooping barbie dog definitely beat out my daughter's sick baby doll. (whom the family has affectionately dubbed H1N1 Susie)

Karen said...

That is SO wrong. Funny. But very, very wrong.

But heck, if it keeps them happy for 4 hours straight, it can't be ALL bad!

FRANNIE said...

I'm still laughing.

Reminds me of the Christmas that my MIL gave the Kid a reindeer that poops jelly beans.

Yeah, fantastic - when the 5 year old is telling everyone he ate reindeer poo.

Valerie said...

Helene,

Seriously, are you a stand-up comedian? Maybe that's why God gave you two sets of twins b/c you have a sense of humor to deal with it!

Anyway, just wanted to pop in and say hello! I have returned from a short blogging hiatus and look forward to reconnecting with you.

Blessings to you and all the best in 2010,

Valerie

Shell said...

That is so gross.

But, it's a Barbie toy that my boys would actually like...though no way is that coming into my house. The boys are already fascinated enough with poop.

Karen & Gerard Zemek said...

LOL (literally!) This is so funny! Your kids sure give you funny blog material! I can just picture the kids being thrilled with a toy like that. Didn't know Barbie had a dog. I'm going to include this in my Friday "Things I Learned This Week" post at www.zemeks.blogspot.com with a link back here. This is hilarious!

I don't get though why your children don't put away their toys. Maybe you should hide them all from them except for one at a time until they learn. Maybe start by hiding that dog!

Jamie said...

Stopping by from SITS! What a great post! I was definitely laughing! TWO sets of twins??!! Wow! God really does have a sense of humor!

Leanne said...

This is hilarious! I can't believe the things toy companies come up with!! Thanks for stopping by my blog today!

Nezzy said...

Now that takes goin' green to a whole other level! Ewwww! When it come to kids, pickin' up or entertainment this chicks motto is; whatever works baby, whatever works!

I hope this invention gives you many little alone moments. Have a great day!!!

Bree said...

I have SEEN that Barbie! And I refused to buy it for my nieces. So gross! But hey! If it keeps them happy!

Menopausal New Mom said...

That is a scream! Who dreams up these crazy toys and who at the meeting actually says "Yeah, great idea!", Really makes you wonder about the toy companies Lol!

Well, if it keeps the kids entertained for hours, it can't be all bad, right?

Laura said...

Oh. my. God!

Jessica Jones, ATL Mom of 3 said...

I don't think I have ever wanted a pooping dog...oh wait I have one but her poop stinks...to funny

Carly said...

What will the Barbie people come up with next...Too funny...and strange..

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Good luck with the garbage collector thing. Maybe you should write a letter.

We have that dog. the rest of the stuff- notsomuch.

Kristin said...

SHUT UP. I would not have believed it had you not shown pics. DYING!

Corrie Howe said...

My daughter wanted this dog two years ago. She didn't want the Barbie, just "Tanner the pooping dog." Is this any indication that she's the only girl on both sides of the family? That same year she talked about her Disney vacation and the burping dinosaur and the sneaking dog.

The Lane Family said...

I am with you Helene, if it makes them happy who cares that it is disgusting and possible disturbing in somway..who knows!!

If they ever come up with a barbie that picks up her own garbage let me know because my kids also think that everything belongs on the floor!!!

The Mother said...

Since I doubt you want your kids to emulate Barbie, I'd say give it up.

Ginny Marie said...

I'm so glad my kids are not the only kids who throw used kleenexes on the floor and don't pick up their toys!

Barbie's dog reminds me of a toy chicken I had as a kid...instead of poop, eggs came out of its butt!

Working Mommy said...

LOL!!! You really can't make that stuff up!! Amazing what goes on the shelves these days, huh?!

~WM

Erin said...

Helene,

This is HYSTERICAL! The pictures totally complete the post. OMG! I m ay have to run out and get one of these for my girls--LOL! And I'm cracking up that Barbie doesn't have a butthole. HAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHHA! Priceless! I guess Barbie is too perfect to poop?

kys said...

That is too funny. I think that would keep my husband occupied and out of my hair for a while. 'Scuse me while I run to Wal Mart......,

Alicia said...

LOL, I'm still picturing you tossing an empty bag of chips on the floor and stepping on it!!

LOL, very interesting toy there! But, whoever created it is smart because it entertained your kids for hours!!

Callista said...

LOL That's hilarious. I so know what you mean about not picking up their toys, it's a source of yelling in our house all the time. They mostly pick up after themselves at playgroup, why can't they do it here???

Mama B said...

Can you imagine sitting in on the production meeting? So Bob I think the dog should poop....I know Charlie it can eat it's poop too!

I featured this on my Sunday Funnies Post: http://tinyurl.com/yekgl4e

shortmama said...

I saw those in the store and refused to buy one for my oldest LOL. Its bad enough that they make dolls that pee and poop but no dogs with reusable poop pellets for us thanks!

yonca said...

This is so funny Helen! I'm sure my son would love that.And he would say the same thing.'so cool'!!!

Mrsbear said...

Listen, I have a poop eating dog. Barbie's canine is highly accurate. Half the time I don't know why we buy dog food, the dumb mutt will consistently go out there and chew on his own turds. Ugh. Although, maybe there's an entrepreneurial idea there. I can just bag it and sell it to other poop eaters. Recycling indeed.

My kids also don't throw stuff away, they'll even go as far as carrying their used paper plates to the kitchen then laying it on the counter right NEXT to the garbage can...

Tesa said...

I'm cracking up about this! Who thought this toy up? I'm so glad it kept your kids busy for so long though. You can't beat that!

Working Mommy said...

Just wanted to let you know that I have an award waiting for you over at my blog-diggity today!! Hope you are doing well!!

~WM

Tiffany said...

I have yet to figure this out - for either the kid or the husband.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

That literally made my day. Un-be-lieve-able. But AWESOME!

blueviolet said...

Right out of the butt and into the mouth? Well, alright then!

Kimberly said...

I am shocked. I can't believe they make a dog that poops these days. It is so funny too!

heather@it'stwinsanity said...

OMG! Seriously? A pooping Barbie dog? That is the craziest thing I've ever seen!

The Wifey said...

Oh my Gosh! I told my husband about it, (had to sing the "I'mma Barbie dog, let's go for a jog" jingle to jog his memory) and we about died laughing. They don't mention THAT in the commercial!

Katie said...

That is hilarious!!! And I thought I was so cool b/c I had the Barbie swimming pool when I was little. This set tops them all, even the Jeep with Ken! ;)

PaisleyJade said...

That is honestly the funniest thing I've ever seen! All you need now is a real dog and all the work is done for you!!

Lani said...

Hysterical, yet slightly disturbing at the same time.
Happy New Year! Sorry I havent been by in a while!

bluecottonmemory said...

I thought I'd never say this, but I believe my little guys would love to have your barbie dog! LOL It's amazing how they're born with bathroom humor but not real ability to conjugate verbs - go figure!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

What will Matel think of next? A pooping dog? At least it doesn't life it's leg. Then you'd really have a problem! LOL

Missy (Two Little Monkeys) said...

A pooping dog for Barbie?!!? Wow, Matel really keeps it real, don't they?
My girls are the same way - they will not pick up a thing. Let me know if you ever find out how to make them pick up their stuff. ; )

Andrea said...

Loved this post!!! I was visiting a friend of mine about a year ago and her then 5 year old daughter had just gotten that barbie/dog. She brought me in her room to show me and I was like "wait! hold up! do that again!" It didn't click that the dog was eating the food and then crapping it back out...I couldn't believe that it had a pooper scooper, I thought she just made it up! but the best part was that the garbage can went right back into the food box! THEN what was even funnier was that the little 5 year old knew exactly how many poop pellets there were and had to count them all and put them up high so that her 1 year old triplet siblings wouldn't eat them. Very responsible little girl!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I do not want to see a fake dog eating poop. I can see a real one doing that any day! EWW! WTH was Mattel thinking?

Louise said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zeemaid said...

that was hysterical. Good things my kids didn't see this post or they would feel they were robbed. mine got the Barbie with the puppy that drank and peed. *L*


BTW love your new format. Can't remember if I saw it before..it's been a while since I've stopped by what with packing and moving and all. I'm playing catch up today! ;)

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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