Thursday, January 7, 2010

Interview with the experts - the 2010 edition about babies

A couple weeks ago, Cole asked me, "What do babies do in their mom's belly all day?" Immediately, I saw this as an awesome opportunity for another "interview with the experts" post.

Here's the 2010 edition about BABIES...everything you ever wanted to know (or maybe, didn't want to know).

Where were you before you existed?
Cole - At the doctors office waiting for you to come in for your appointment (oooh, this is creepily wierd considering they are IVF babies....I was tempted to say, "Actually, you were in a petri dish in a lab, waiting for me to come in for my appointment")
Bella - I was in the sky flying around trying to find where you lived.

What do babies do in their mom's bellies all day long?
Cole - I'm not sure but I think they probably sleep most of the time. When they're not sleeping, I think they sit around drawing pictures.
Bella - No, they don't because they don't have paper to draw on. They just lay there and play with their toys.

What do pregnant moms do all day long?
Cole
- Check their baby's heartbeat and eat chicken nuggets
Bella - They drink lemonade and eat chicken wings. Sometimes they sing songs to the baby through the belly button. That's why I like Hannah Montana because that's what you sang to me all day long when I was in your belly.
Me - No, I didn't.
Bella - You didn't? Well, you should have.

What do the dads do all day long?
Cole - Probably nothing
Bella - They sleep late and bring the mom lemonade and chicken wings

How long should a baby stay in his/her mom's belly?
Cole
- One week
Bella - One minute....no, maybe 33 minutes. Yeah, 33 minutes.

What do babies look like when they're born?
Cole - They have oval heads and they're really small, like a worm. The skin is the color of my arm
Bella - They have no hair and they have pink skin. Some have teeth.

What's the first thought that the parents have when they see their new baby?
Cole - They probably cry because the baby has an oval head
Bella - I think they're happy and excited until they find out the baby is a pig
Me - You mean, a pig as in hungry all the time?
Bella - No, I mean a real pig.

What's the first thing a baby wants to eat after he's born?
Cole - a big, ole banana with no brown spots on it
Bella - waffles and pancakes from IHOP

What does a baby want to do after he's born?
Cole
- learn to steer a car and play the Wii
Bella - I don't know, probably poop in his diaper

Before babies can talk, all they can do is cry. What do you think they're saying when they cry?
Cole - I want cereal and I want to be a super baby
Bella - They want someone to change their poopy diaper and give them a waffle.


Which parent should be responsible for diaper changes?
Cole - the mom
Bella - the dad

What should every new parent know about having a baby?
Cole
- That it hurts your belly, especially if the doctor has to use a knife to cut the baby out. And that the baby will probably smell bad sometimes unless you give it a bath 20 times a day.
Bella - There's a whole lotta puke and poop. They cry a lot and get on your nerves. That's why I'm NEVER having babies.


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75 comments:

beckyblogs said...

So funny, Helene!

What's up with Bella and the lemonade and chicken wings. That's hysterical!

Kristina P. said...

A one minute pregnancy sounds delightful!

M at Hidden Valley Simplicity said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

That was great! I'll link it to my Saturday post this coming weekend. :)

Jessi said...

Hahaaha! that was hilarious!

Donna said...

LOVE IT!!!!!!!! That's awesome!

yonca said...

Love their answers. My son thinks that babies are all boring in their mom's bellies. No video game, no tv :)

Amy W said...

Love the interviews with the experts! That's funny, my oldest doesn't want to have babies either because I've mentioned how much labor hurts. Perhaps I should have kept that information to myself for a few more years.

Christa @ Quintooples said...

OH my goodness! HOW CUTE!!!! My older kids think that pregnancy results in a litter of kids. They got confused when Aunt Amy only had ONE baby.

Ethan: "One baby? Where are the other ones?"

haha!

Valerie said...

Happy New Year, Helene!

Thanks so much for dropping by for a visit, especially since I had just returned from a 6-week long blogging hiatus!

I just love your kids...and we haven't even met! Bella's a hoot...I love her responses and I think that both of them gave such perfectly "gender-specific" responses! The boys are all about super-heros and flying around...the girls are all about how nasty the poop and puke is! Too funny!

Wishing you all the best in 2010,

Val

Samantha said...

So cute and funny. Lemonade and chicken wings actually sounds pretty good :)

Carly said...

All I can say is Lol. Your kids are too cute. !!

Heather said...

LOL! Yes, how true it is that they were waiting for us to come in for our appts! Some day, I'll tell Noly where she was conceived : )

Morgan said...

Those are pretty cute. When I was pregnant with my 3rd., my oldest was 2. He used to tell me that the baby was watching TV in my belly. Now that he's 6, he gets a kick out of the fact that the baby is drinking it's own pee. :P

Rocketgurl said...

Hilarious.. but I for one learned a lot from the experts!! Guess I have to learn some Hannah Montana songs now. :-)

MamaOtwins+1 said...

The whole lotta poop and puke had me cracking up!!!

I always enjoy hearing what the experts have to say!

shortmama said...

Oh wouldnt it be nice if pregnancy was just 33 mintues?!

They are hilarious!

bluecottonmemory said...

I love it all! However, poop and eat waffles hit a cord! LOL!

bluecottonmemory said...

I love it all! However, poop and eat waffles hit a cord! LOL!

Karen said...

I enjoyed Bella's logic that babies don't have paper to color on but they do have toys.

And did you get that kid a waffle? Sounds like she had them on the brain!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

The experts made me laugh out loud! I love their answers. Waffles? Lemonade? LOL

Jenny said...

LOL! I just asked Abby these questions and some of her responses were funny!

My favorite: Before babies can talk, all they can do is cry. What do you think they're saying when they cry?

Abby: Feed me, I'm starving!

Debbie said...

Oh Helene, these were just precious! I love hearing what kids think.

Brooke said...

sounds like cole's got it all figured out. a newborn baby is one of God's ugliest creatures!

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Super cute! When my daughter was little, we would be talking and she would say, "I already knew that because I could see it through your belly button."

Nobodys Nothings said...

i love their answers to "who should change the baby's diaper". so simple... but i guess some answers stay the same no matter a person's age. :)

Kim said...

I know some adults whose expertise makes less sense than your children's . . . Your kids need their own talk show. I hear Oprah's spot will be opening up next year.

Great post, as usual!

Working Mommy said...

Kids are GREAT aren't they...the answers are just amazing!

~WM

Neo said...

ur kids shd have their own TV show! I'd be their number one fan. ur blog never fails to have me in stitches. good one!

blueviolet said...

Every time you do this, I feel so enlightened. Those two are such a riot!

Stephanie Faris said...

I love Bella saying they can't color because there's no paper, but she thinks they have toys in there!!! They're so adorable. And as a kid almost everyone I knew said they were never having kids. Most of them changed their minds later!

Shell said...

I love those! I was asking my 5 year old the questions as I was reading yours. Too cute.

Megan said...

lmfao!!!!!!!!!!! I love your kids. They would so fit in my family! lol

LucidLilith said...

This is too funny. Those kids are smart. They are not too off on their answers. Especially the part about chicken nuggets.

Eva Gallant said...

You're kids are so cute and funny!

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

First, your kids are hilarious. Second, I give you a shout out on my blog tomorrow.

Nezzy said...

No one holds a candle to your interviews. So you must of eaten a lot of chicken when you were pregnant with these too. No wonder givin' birth hurts so bad with all those toys and all! I love your kids!

Have a fun day enjoying their antics and God bless you sweet lady!

Amy said...

I love these. I can't wait until my little one talks and does things like this.

Kaleena said...

Oh Helene, I think you should find poor Bella a support group for her little poop and waffle obsession:) Ha! She's got to be the brightest little firecracker ever! I'm so glad that you do these interviews with the experts. I can always depend on them to teach me something new! Your kids really do need their own comedy show!

Mighty M said...

Haha! I love that they are already pinning the diaper changes on the opposite gender! ;)

1 Special Family said...

They've got all the answers! Pefect! LOL funny!

L.Howerter said...

This is hilarious, I praise you for not singing Hannah Montana to your belly, teehee

Charlene said...

Lmao....LOVE this post!

Booklover1212 said...

I've sooooo missed reading you!!! This made me laugh! I may have to "borrow" this one for Nani!

~ Jennifer
http://thetoyboxyears.blogspot.com

kys said...

"Learn to steer a car and play the wii". He's got it all figured out right there.

Alicia said...

Oh my gosh...I love your kids!!!!!

Sharlene said...

I am all about the one minute pregnancy. though if that was the case I would probably have like 8 kids by now. You know those moments where you think its a good idea to have more kids. Badda Bing Badda Boom a little lovin and a minute later you have another one.

Eternally Distracted said...

Hilarious - Glad I stopped by!

BoufMom9 said...

OMGOSH! Love their answers! (great questions too helene!)

I think my favorite answer is what dad does all day long while mom is pregnant...LOL

Stacey said...

Priceless!! Your kids have the greatest little minds. =o)

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I'm totally voting for Bella for President. That girl is brilliant!
I love that they don't have paper in the womb, but they do have toys.
LOVE your interviews!

Mrsbear said...

These interviews are enlightening. I wish Bella had talked to my husband before my last pregnancy, I could've done with some lemonade and chicken wings.

Twins Squared said...

Helene I love these! Don't hate me if I steal your idea and do it with mine - I promise to give you props to my mass following! :) Thanks for the laugh to start my day!

Twins Squared said...

Oh - on the same note of having a baby and funny things kids say - 2 years ago I had my twins 2 weeks after Christmas. We were reading a book about baby Jesus and how Mary had to ride on the donkey. Kaitlyn told me I should ride one! 8 months preg with twins, on a donkey! No thanks!

singedwingangel said...

Hi there found ya at Lee's place adn had to come over.. God bless you with 2 sets of twins..love the ask the experts and think I am gonna follow you cause I love stuff like this..

Merri Ann said...

My 4 year old recently asked me if I ate the twins ... "What?" I asked very confused (I'm not that fat) ... "How did they get in your tummy?" was the real question. Makes me wonder how she would answer your questions ...

Great post ... thanks for the laugh.

Creative Junkie said...

God, these interviews make for the funniest posts! LOVE THIS.

Kari Day said...

WAAAAAYYYY TOOOOO Funny! I adore kids ideas! Great idea for a post. LOVE it! I just found you, but you better believe I'm following you now! I look forward to the next "interview"!

Kathryn said...

Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment! Wow I canot even imagine having 4 in two years especially coming in sets of two! :) I am glad things are getting better for you and you are enjoying it more. It is something you can never get back once its over!

Cute blog by the way! I was cracking up over this post! I love what your kids said!! Too funny!

Holly Noelle @ Domestic Dork said...

This is SOOOO CUTE!!! I love the answer about who should change diapers! :)

The Mother said...

Love how the male thinks diapering is women's work, and the female is convinced otherwise.

You're doing a fine job on that gender-role stuff.

Thelma said...

oh my word......LOL LOL LOL LOL

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I love that! And I think Bella is one smart cookie (even though I'm sure she'll change her mind).

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I love that! And I think Bella is one smart cookie (even though I'm sure she'll change her mind).

Buckeroomama said...

Oh, I love reading your interviews with Bella and Cole. I can't wait to hear what Garrett and Landon might say!!

Flory said...

Thanks for great laughs again Helene!

I think Bella really summed it up in the end there...

Alison said...

That is adorable! I really like how Bella said they didn't have paper to draw on, but they played with their toys! lol And shame on you for not singing Hannah Montana songs through your belly button! So cute!

Stopping by from SITS!!

Holly said...

Happy SITS Sharefest! That is a cute post. I especially like what "Dad's do"
Holly @ 504 Main

Dreamer said...

To die for funny, funny girl! I agree with Bella, it's definitively the dad's job to change the diapers!
Still laughing!
P.S. Found you at SITS

Robin said...

I Love your blog..I always end up feeling good..about everything.. when I drop by..your kids are hilarious..i bet they'll love to see this later on..i love Coles take on what Dads do..and Bella's contradiction...BTW..this is my new blog..yes i lost the other one..links and all..almost three years of linkys..but at least I saved all the content..!

Debbie in Nashville said...

Too cute!! I love it!

Megan and Kristin said...

What do dads do all day long...probably nothing...I'm DYING! SO funny!

When did I become my Mom said...

I love your posts with the experts! Who should change the diaper? LOL.

The Lane Family said...

Kids are so funny!!! The one about the pig is hiliarious..where did she come up with that :)

It was cute when asked who should change the diaper of course Cole answers like a guy and Bella like a girl!!

I would keep this post and give it back to Bella when the first baby comes!!

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HoneyDame said...

OMg OMG!!!!you are totally unbelievable!!!! I have been stuck ere since about 1am, going through your posts.....I do not think I have ever laughed that hard in my life! you aredamn good at creative writing and your spawn are ....well....chips off the ol brick....i just gotta love u guys!!!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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