Short Mama over at Family of Shorts hosts a weekly meme called "Dear Someone" and since I have some things I need to get off my chest, I thought it would be fun to participate. If you have something you need to tell someone, write your letter and link up with the rest of us on her site!
Dear Landon, I know it's horrible of me to pretend to cry when you misbehave. Your big brother and sister have ruined me and it's come down to this...I've had to be creative to get through to you all. It's so sweet, though, how you run over to me, all concerned, to give me a big hug and say, "Don't cry, Mommy. I love you." I almost feel bad about being so manipulative (key word here being "almost"). Stop misbehaving and I won't have to sob shamelessly anymore.
Dear Garrett, you're adorable and I love spending time with you. But you seriously need to stop walking into my bedroom in the middle of the night and standing next to my bed, staring me down as I sleep. What are you thinking in your little head as you watch me sleep peacefully? Never mind, I don't want to know. Just please stop doing it...it's creeping me out.
Dear Pharmacy Tech guy at Kaiser, I seriously wanted to die right there on the spot today when you handed me my refill of Wellbutrin and my son said, "Those are my mom's happy pills. She has to take them so she doesn't kill us with her bare hands". Thank goodness, you have a sense of humor. I wouldn't blame you, though, if you called Child Protective Services on me the minute I walked out the door.
Dear Pediatric Therapist, I appreciate you coming to my home to do an OT assessment on Garrett. You were cool and you seemed to know your stuff quite well. However, what you seem to lack knowledge about is that it's unprofessional and inappropriate to smack your gum noisily while meeting with a client. To make it worse, your heavy breathing reminded me of a 13-year old boy I made out with once at sleep-away camp. Let me suggest that you discontinue this bad habit, especially since it's obvious you don't know how to breathe and chew gum at the same time.
Dear Bella, thank you for always knowing when I need a good laugh. You cracked me up today when you asked, "Mommy, do you remember when we were singing Happy Birthday to Landon and he stuck his hand in the cake before we were done with the song?" I said, "Bella, how can you possibly remember that?! It was TWO years ago!" and you responded, "Because there was cake involved. That's the only reason I remember it." PS - You might want to work on clenching your butt cheeks when you sneeze. The fact that you fart almost every time you sneeze is actually quite adorable...however, it won't be so adorable in a few more years. Consider yourself informed.
Dear Cole, our cat will never have kittens. You just need to accept it already. When we adopted her 10 years ago, we got her fixed. No, I will not take her back to the vet to have her "unfixed". We are not getting any more animals...no kittens, no puppies, no goldfish, no turtles, no dinosaurs...end of discussion.
Dear Tim, when I bend over to empty the dishwasher, it is NOT a written invitation to come over and grope me. I mean, where's the respect? Geez, at least wait until the kids are out of the room. I know the experts say it's healthy for kids to see their parents being affectionate with one another but I have a sneaking suspicion that this is NOT exactly what they were referring to. Plus, I don't need the added headache of trying to explain to them why they need to respect other people's personal space but Daddy doesn't.
OM and Ohms
1 day ago