Short Mama over at Family of Shorts hosts a weekly meme every Thursday, called "Dear Someone". You got something you want to get off your chest? Write a letter and then come link up with the rest of us over on her blog.
Dear Cole, yesterday at lunch time, you saw me give Landon more ketchup for his hotdog. I asked, "Does anyone else want more ketchup?" You didn't respond so I put the ketchup away. Not 5 seconds later, you're whining, "I want more ketchup".
You do this to me EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Why do you always decide you want seconds on something the minute I put it away?? I'm over it. From now on, I'm making one single announcement..."If anyone wants seconds, speak now or forever hold your peace". If there is silence, I will take that as confirmation that it is finally time for me to sit on my ass and take a break.
Dear kids, thanks to you I have lost about 4 pounds this week. As luck would have it, each of you have pooped right at the same time when I was about to eat a meal. There's something disturbing about being interrupted during a meal to wipe someone's ass and then going back to the meal, which oddly resembles the poop that I just cleaned up.
I don't think I'll ever be able to eat beef stew again for as long as I live.
Dear Gardeners, I think it's pretty ironic that when I ask you to trim the bushes or the tree in our front yard, you can't speak or understand a word of English....yet, I can hear you all speaking English perfectly while you're arguing about whose turn it is to use the blower versus the lawnmower.
Next time, you come to my door requesting payment, don't be surprised if I've conveniently forgotten how to speak English too.
Dear Cat, can you please refrain from sitting on the neighbor's fence and taunting their dogs? It's just a matter of time until one of the rescue dogs they bring home is big enough to reach you with its powerful jaws. But now that I think about it...maybe that's what you're hoping for. I know the last 5 years with the kids has been tough on you. I can't say I blame you for knocking on heaven's door.
Dear Subconscious, this is 2 nights in a row now that I've had erotic dreams about Simon Cowell. Come on.. why HIM of all people?! Why not Ryan Reynolds? Why not Mark Wahlberg?
Although I do have to say I was pleasantly surprised by how sexy Simon was in my dream...and afterwards, he winked at me and said, "I really REALLY like you".
Dear Tim...sweet, naive Tim...yes, the world does revolve around me. Don't act so surprised.
I've got 2 out of 4 kids at home sick. Sorry I've been lagging in my commenting. Stick with me, though. I'll be back in swing again soon! Plus, I've got AWESOME news to share...
Ham and Bowtie Pasta Casserole
8 hours ago