Monday, February 1, 2010

I think it’s safe to say we have a few problems around here….

Problem 1: The balloon. Oh, good Lord, the freakin’ balloon. Garrett and Landon each got one from the dentist last week. One popped in the car on the way home…it’s so Murphy’s law, am I right? Two kids, one balloon….World War IV breaks out. Or is it World War V? I never really paid attention in History class, obviously?

Eventually one of the kids pulled the string off the balloon and let it go…where it floated up, up and away to the top of our vaulted ceiling.

At first, they lost track of where it went…only to discover it an hour later when they were hanging out in the loft. In the picture below, you can get a better idea of what I’m talking about.

I especially love that Bella’s hand is outstretched towards the balloon, as if summoning it with her hand will bring it back suddenly in her direction. But I can’t blame her for thinking that might have worked, being that when she screams “Jump”, her little brothers yell back, “How high?” with fear in their trembling little voices.

balloon1

Problem 2: Well, this isn’t more of a problem, but more of a phase. At least I hope it’s just a phase…I cannot keep the boy away from his sister’s clothes. Is it possible for a 2-year old to be considered a drag queen?

outfit4aoutfit2

Problem 3: Before I was a mother, a co-worker friend of mine laughed hysterically when I informed him that never in a million years would I ever pinch off a snot bubble protruding from my child’s nose nor would I ever do the sniff test….you know, where you bend down and smell your child’s butt to see if he/she is in need of a diaper change.

Now I can see why he thought it was so funny because 5 years later, I smell butts every hour on the hour around here. It’s second nature to me, as I blurt out to my kids, “Hey, come here…let me smell your butt”.

I honestly thought it was no big deal until I saw this….

Garrett2

Yes, that is Garrett standing behind his father, sniffing his butt. This happened after an ominous foul odor filled the air and, when asked, Tim quickly denied that he was the one responsible for it.

Garrett said, “Me find out who did it!” and he walked up behind Tim and did the sniff test. Then he backed away and said, “Nope, it wasn’t Daddy. Landon, come here…let me smell YOUR butt”.

We thought it was funny….at the time. Now, I’m just holding my breath waiting for that moment where he walks up to a total stranger in the mall and grabs them from behind and says, “Let me smell your butt”. It’ll happen, I just know it will.

Problem 4: The picture below is what I call a moment of desperation. Every parent has one…don’t deny it for a second. I just wanted some peace and quiet so I could get breakfast cooked and served. Is that so wrong?

kids1 kids2

Memorable conversation of the day:

Me (to Cole and Bella): How come you do whatever Mrs. Helms asks you to do but you don’t do what I ask you to do?

Cole: Because our brains tell us to listen to her, not you.

Me: Yeah…real nice.

Cole: Well, I don’t make the rules…my brain does.

Me (to Tim): Why are they such smart-asses?!

Tim (smiling like the cat who ate the canary): I don’t know, sweetie. Why do YOU think they are? Aren't you the one always telling me that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree?

copyright

78 comments:

Holly said...

I remember when we had big high ceiling like that...such a good place for balloons.

My son used to wear bridal veils..those pics are hilarious.

The first thing I learned as a mother was never say never! My 2 year old is always saying "Look at my booty...you need to smell my booty." Nice...

"our brains tell us to listen to her" - Classic!

Buckeroomama said...

Don't you just hate it when your husband says back to you the words you say to him? LOL!

That was way too cute --Garrett smelling his dad's butt and then offering "me find out who did it!"

Merri Ann said...

That picture with your hubby is hilarious. I'm sure you can use that against your son at some point in his life ... maybe save it for the teenage years ... ya know ... threaten to expose him to his friends.

And, the smart ass comment ... well, I have to say it's one of the reasons I read your blog.

Your kids are sooo cute.

Stephanie said...

hahah! I love the one of your son in his sister clothes! priceless!

HT said...

LOL at the sniff test!! I would not want a parent-teacher conference about butt sniffing at school.

Mrsbear said...

Balloons! I hate them. And you're absolutely right, if each kid has one, all but one will pop on the way home, leading to a whining/crying/hair pulling extravaganza nobody wants to witness first hand. You might need a BB gun to get that down though. ;)

Yes. I do the sniff test. And I clean boogers. And I've caught puke with my bare hands. Ah. Motherhood.

My youngest loves to wear women's shoes. I'll worry about it, if he's still doing it at 13. Only because my shoes might not fit him by then.

singedwingangel said...

Hey my middle son wore my nieces Barbie nightgown for 3 days straight when he was 3. He refused to take it off even stood in front of the long mirror on the bathroom door and twilred around in it. I think they like the fact that it flows and boy's clothes don't do all those cool things.

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

Helene, WOWI just loved the photos of your kids in the kitchen. I 'd just love to kiss them!!!
Have a great week!!
Betty xx

Laura said...

Honey, I've learned to never say never. Eating those words just ain't fun!

Jen said...

I totally know of this balloon problem. Happens here all the time.

And yes, boys dressing in girl clothes is just a phase. Hayden went through a rather long phase like this. :)

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I don't allow balloons, strictly because of the fighting that ensues over the balloons and then the fact that one always floats away. The sniff test is in a mother's genes, as is the picking of the buggers and the wiping of the butts and picking the wax out of their ears. Motherhood is such joy. Oh, and they do grow out of the cross dressing...trust me.

Teri said...

I hate balloons - the cat eats the string and then pukes. Does it EVERY single time!

My son likes to put on his sister's clothes too. Just a phase, granted it might be a LONG one, but I don't think we have anything to worry about. ;)

Creative Junkie said...

Unless he starts demanding to wear makeup and high heels out in public, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

The butt smelling thing made me laugh! I also thought I would NEVER do such a thing. Then I had my kids and every single expectation I had went flying out the window, along with 1/2 my sanity.

Lisa said...

Sniffing butts....comes with the job. There's no escaping it. It's in our genetic make-up. But it's always nice to know you're not the only one!!

Don't worry about the clothes (unless he still does it when he's 12 or 13 lol). I use to put my brothers in my dresses up until they were around 10 and they grew up to be almost normal:)

yonca said...

Cute pics! Lol, they look so busy and so happy in the kitchen :)

Eva Gallant said...

What a hilarious post! It does make me question your parenting skills however, knowing that you are raising a butt-sniffer and a cross-dresser! lol lol You kids are the cutest and funniest in blogland. "I don't make the rules, my brain does." Priceless!

Donna said...

btdt with the balloon - then it starts to hover like a UFO! The average life span o helium - about 3 months? ;-)

Yep, we've raised butt-sniffers, too....and a cross-dresser (Austin), too!

LMAO at the Catch the Egg game! Hilarious!

Thanks (as always for the laughs)!

Jenna said...

Balloons, balloons, my babes still talk to this day about how the ballon popped, ugh. And the butt sniffing thing, I do it too and apparently they like to "sniff" every stuffed animal they have, ha.

Missy (Two Little Monkeys) said...

Here is our little trick for balloons (don't you hate balloons now though?) - get a vaccuum add all the extensions including the skinny, narrow one and suck it down. Yes, I just typed "suck it down" Ha!
I love Landon's fashion sense!
Hmmm, is that game catch the egg with spatulas - you are a genius!!!

Linda @ My Trendy Tykes said...

That sniffin' butt pic is the best.

I've sniffed a many butts in my life (baby ones).....Oh, and the mommy spit thing? Yeah-Guilty!

Shell said...

Oh, the things I thought I'd never do...shows what I know.

LOL @ the butt sniffing.

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Let me smell your butt! Love it!

You take your kids to the MALL????

Corrie Howe said...

Yes, I can just see the butt smelling of a stranger....or worse, some teacher or classmate. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when you have to go in for that meeting.

I'm thinking about a post about how I have a teenager for sale, best offer. He'll be great for anyone but his parents.

kristi said...

Yep, we have 14 foot ceilings..been there with the balloon. UGH.
And yeah, I am the farter and so is TC. Sara and hubs they are so proper!

Also, the clothes thing, he will grow out of it. TC did the same thing!

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

We have a mylar balloon still afloat from my husbands birthday January 3. I hate Mylar balloons. They last for-ever!

I am a butt sniffer, snot picker too.

My in a pinch thing is I give them food coloring and a bowl of water and a whisk. Gives me 1/2 hour :-))

And finally, I ask my 10 year old that question all of the time and she says, "Because she doesn't love me like you do, so I have to behave"

SUPER!

Brooke said...

my sister has a 5 year old girl and a 18 month old boy. if she leaves laundry laying around the house he's in his big sister's clothes before my sister can stop him. her cowboy boots, roller skates, and new pink plaid skirt are his particular favorites.

heather@it'stwinsanity said...

We have had some cross-dressing going on here before too! No worries. Yet.

I'd be more worried about the balloon. My kids would be trying to form a human chain to reach it. Or shoot it down with something. Either way, scary and dangerous. (Don't give your kids any ideas!)

Kristina P. said...

This is hilarious! Cross dressing butt sniffers!

Amy said...

Okay I think I need to move in. We have the same things going on in my house at times. Happy Monday.

Nezzy said...

Garrett just took the smell test to a whole other level! Heeeheehe! Yes, we always end up doin' those things we spirt out...I'll never.....

You keep me laughin' girl! Have a great day and may God bless it!!!

cindi said...

Haaha...your not the only one with butt-sniffing problems. Let's just leave it at that!

The Mother said...

The good news is, the laws of physics say that the balloons will eventually come down.

The bad news is, the laws of teenagers say that the wise cracking stuff is only going to get worse.

blueviolet said...

I just CAN'T Imagine where they got that smart ass gene! No idea!!!!

Tracie said...

Oh, the things I used to say I'd NEVER do. Tis a whole post in itself.

Twins Squared said...

I'm sorry but I'm sitting here trying to eat and I can't because I'm laughing so hard! The whole butt smelling thing happened almost exactly the same way here this week too! Hilarious! We are living in parallel universes!! I love reading your blog! Thanks for being so honest - I try to as well. I honestly can't stand it when moms try to make it like everything is perfect. If it is, then I can't relate to them at all. If not then they are liars!! :) Knowing others are going through the same stuff helps me cope with my own ridiculousness going on in my house. Have a great day!!

S Club Mama said...

I am a snot-bubble popping, booger grabbing, butt sniffing mom over here. Not my prettiest moments but ones that definitely define being a mom. :S

Mama Taylor said...

Oh my gosh! We must have mirrored lives. We recently had two balloons floating on our ceiling because the strings came off. They finally fell down last week.

I also ask my kids like, "Do you have poop? Come here so I can smell your butt." Maybe I shouldn't be asking this any more. I never thought of them asking total strangers...

Morgan said...

Sniffing behinds is right up there with having to sniff undies left on the floor with the clean laundry. My kids know where they're supposed to put the dirty clothes, but the dirty duds don't always make it there. So, the smell test ends up being a must some times. fun fun.

BigSis said...

C'mere. Let me smell your butt. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Can't wait so see that one show up in public!

Rhaven said...

I am in love with the butt pic! That is what makes this kind of stuff worthwhile!!! Not to mention how awesome is that picture for blackmail down the road? =D

Kimberly said...

I love stopping by your blog. I laugh so hard...Balloons were a big deal at our house too. The grocery store gives a cookie to each child (freshly baked out of the bakery). They also get a balloon. We could not leave with out one. I was so happy when that stage was done!

Crying was a part of the balloon experience...Even when the balloon would fall to the floor it was still special in some way.

Ms Bibi said...

The drag queen face will fade with the rest of them. I remember my 2 year old son coming out of my walking closet in my nylons, high heels and pearls. I was little taken back by that, but hubs assured me it was "normal" , lol.

MamaOtwins+1 said...

Ahh to be a fly on the wall when one of the kids does that to a stranger. :)

The Lane Family said...

I am with you..there are some days I will do just about anything to get breakfast. lunch or whatever done. SO the idea of letting them play with in an egg and spatula..LOVE it and may try it :)

I also told everyone I would not smell butts and my kids would NEVER having snot running down their face..well all of those things have happened in the last hour so I guess I blew it again :) I am sure one day we will hear a story on your blog about sniffing a strangers' bum..because kids do the darndest things :)

The picture of Garrett in his sisters clothes, just makes me laugh. I think at this age they just like to explore all their options...What does TIM think??? Jim would FREAK out if he saw Aidan in girls clothes :)

Kimberly@PrettyPinkMomma said...

I am ROFLMAO!!! How is hubby handling the drag queen situation? Mine would die! I could care less what they wear as long as they get dressed by themselves, lol!

I hate balloons! I always turn them down if given the opportunity. Nothing but problem for all three of the boys.

My mom always stuck her finger in the diaper to check because she thought that smelling butts was gross. I don't know but if you ask me I would take smelling over touching any day!I was dying at the "smell my butt" part! OMG Benji does the same thing! If someone farts he takes a big whiff just to agree that it does indeed smell. I have seen him smell Oscar's butt more times than I want to. The worst is when he smells his butt and his brother farts in his face mid sniff. So, so gross!

You crack me up!

Cascia said...

That is so funny! My kids fight over balloons all the time too. My daughter's birthday was yesterday and she insisted on getting helium filled balloons for her birthday. She and her brother fight over those balloons all the time.

jungletwins said...

Your kids are so cute and hilarious! And I'm sure they're never the least bit of trouble ;)

Neo said...

lol! that was one cute drag queen, dont worry it'll pass. boys seem to love Mommy's shoes!

Alicia said...

Oh my gosh! That picture of him smelling daddy's behind! Priceless!!!

And feed those kids, girl! LOL

Mama Michie (aka Michaela) said...

The sniff test is too funny! I'm sure he'll stop doing it when one of his siblings gives him something to sniff while his nose is down there! ha!
We used to dress my brother up in our clothes... I'm pretty sure he stopped wearing dresses when we stopped putting them on him =)

Amy W said...

Ok, cracking me up with the butt sniffing!!! Enough already! My sides are hurting!

Miss Dot said...

HAHAHAHA!!! The butt-sniffing pic was HILARIOUS! I had to pull the hubbs over to show him. I can definitely imagine our (future) kids doing this someday. Haha.

Annie said...

Sorry, but I laugh with your post. Thanks for make my night.

Have a nice week.

shortmama said...

So who had the stinky butt?

Frugal Vicki said...

I love that you managed to get a picture of that moment, that is awesome!

LMJ said...

LMAO!!

That was cute! I love your little boy smelling the butt!! LOL!

tammy said...

oh my goodness...that is just too much. You are going to have to pretend he's somebody else's child and you are just watching him. Go ahead...start practicing your speech, cuz you SO know he's going to sniff a stranger's bottom and say something OUT LOUD about it! I'm so sorry....

ROFL!

A 2 Z said...

Reading your post reminded me of my butt smelling, snot picking years. I'm happy that part is finished with but I miss the cute innocent conversations. Just keep taking vitamins, there's more to come! LOL

BoufMom9 said...

LOL! Too funny! Don't worry about the 2 yr old. My son Teddy wanted to be a "pwetty, pwetty pwincess" for YEARS and now, at 11 yrs old, he wants to be a soldier :)

Did you get the balloon down? If not, try a BB gun. (fun for you & hubby when the kids go to bed. LOL)

Clueless_Mama said...

Okay, you had me rolling on the floor after reading "Let me smell your butt". What happens to us once we have children?? My son thinks I am his personal booger taker. Who would have ever thought? Your posts are always the best. Thanks for another laugh.

tattytiara said...

What is that, egg hockey?

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Y'all could be a sit-com! Too funny.

Flory said...

My kids always fight over the balloon from the dentist. In my case the girl pops hers, and then steals her brother's.

Garrett sniffing dad's behind, priceless. :)

Sonora said...

This post made my day. I was feeling down, but your pictures made me laugh out loud. So so funny! I especially love the drag queen (we used to do that to my brother. Somewhere there is a picture of him in a tutu!) and I love the smell my butt. I do that to my kids too!
Thanks for the pick me up!

Kellene Maynard said...

LOLOLOL... okay I probably shouldn't laugh but you made my morning once again! I can't imagine having 2 sets of twins... you are such a strong, amazing woman! Stopping by from SITS! Happy Tuesday!

Tesa said...

We have balloon battles at our house too. Sometimes it's when one pops, other times they argue over color or size. It's amazing what preschoolers can find to fight about!

I also vowed not to wipe faces with my sleeve, not to spit on my finger to clean a dirty face, and not to smell butts - but alas, parenthood has driven me to it all! At least you have a wonderful sense of humor about it.

By the way, you have an award waiting for you on my blog, congrats!

Erin said...

Balloons drive me crazy, too! Someone always lets go/gets the ribbon off. ANd I sniffed butts all the time, too! Fortunately those days are over here. And I love the pics of the kiddos on the counter!

"Cottage By The Sea" said...

When my son was about 4 he wore his older sister's orange organza off the shoulder 8th grade graduation dress to dinner every night for a year. My husband finally cracked and begged me to "lose" the dress. He seems perfectly normal today but, is still a very stylish dresser. Thanks for the comment on my Grandma blog. The secret is moisturizer, yoga, and giving birth at 20. You will also notice I only post pictures taken from 20' away!

I'm NOT a VOLCANO! said...

OMG, I just laughed my butt off at your post. EVERY SINGLE THING on there happens at our house ALL THE TIME! I also smell butts, and my kids think poop is hilarious.

And the balloon. Yeah. I know. LOL.

LucidLilith said...

I hope Tim did not have a coronary when he saw his son in baby drag. I think he just wants to be comfortable.

Menopausal New Mom said...

Hi Helene, well it's good to be back and I've missed reading the blogs.

About the balloon, they scare the hell out of me. I won't let my 3 1/2 year old play with them, she pretends to blow them up so has them right in her face. I know of two children both who suffocated to death when a balloon burst and a small piece went down their throats and blocked their airways. This usually happens when children bite on them which is something kids will commonly do.

I'll be the meanest mother around here when I refuse to allow balloons at my daughter's birthday parties.

Smelling butts made me laugh, yes, that's one thing we mothers have in common Lol.

Karen & Gerard Zemek said...

I am happy to say I am still not a butt sniffer nor a snot grabber! Don't ever hope to be, either! So funny your boy smelling his dad's butt--glad he wasn't the culprit.

Eve said...

I, like many mothers it seems, hate balloons. I like them for the 5 seconds where I think they may distract my son long enough for me to do something but then it just gets annoying. And my son has a talent to be able to keep a balloon alive for weeks on end.

Loved this whole post. So funny and loved the pictures to add to the tales. :)

G-Zell said...

OMG what is up with the butt thing all my kids did that shyt LOL.. I was like step away from the butt or face the blast directly in your face.. they crack up...

My daughter dresses like a boy with her brothers stuff and they are 15 she is 4 lol.....

great pics!

D said...

The sight of Garrett sniffing Tim's butt. I'm laughing hysterically! Thanks,btw. Bad day. I needed a laugh and I'm grinning from ear to ear now. I think the dress things normal. Just hope the kid decides to wear a tux to the prom.

Adie said...

Boys dressing as girls ... my little brother did it, my best friends 2 boys did it .. I think its just a boy thing!

Zeemaid said...

it's cause girl's clothes are so much more interesting! O is continually dressing up in the girl's dress up dresses. At first it's funny and cute and then it starts to become... gee we better get some boy dress up clothes...

schneeballgriller said...

That picture with your hubby is hilarious

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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