Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted him looking at me with a mischievous smile on his face. He said, "So, sweetie, what do you say? Wanna fool around?"
I shot back, "What's the matter? No sci-fi shows on tonight?"
He answered, "Oh, give me a break, will you?"
"You know, honestly, I'm just really tired. Unless you have something spectacular up your sleeve, count me out for tonight," I explained.
Tim look perplexed. "Spectacular?" he repeated.
I hesitated for a few seconds and then said, "Don't you get bored with the same thing ALL. THE. TIME? From start to finish, it's all so....uh...well, predictable. Not that predictable is a bad thing, I'm just saying it'd be nice to mix it up a little bit every once in awhile."
He still seemed confused but then his eyes lit up. "Oh no", I said. "Don't you dare go THERE. I don't swing and I don't share".
"Okay, let me clarify something to you about the whole boredom factor," he began. "I'm a MAN. Sex doesn't always have to be adventurous or unpredictable...it's not about hanging from the chandelier. To a man, sex is sex, no matter how you do it, whether it's exciting or the same old-same old."
My voice consumed with doubt, I asked, "So you're telling me, truthfully, that you're never bored with it?"
"Well, it'd be nice if it were more exciting and spontaneous from time to time but, you know, I'm certainly not going to turn you down when the opportunity presents itself," he explained.
He continued, "Look at it this way...I'm a creature of habit, like most men. Come on...I go back and forth between the same two flavors of ice cream, strawberry and heath bar crunch. Sure, neither flavor excites my taste buds like it used to but, hey, it doesn't mean I don't still love ice cream."
Squinting my eyes at him, I said, "So you're comparing sex to ice cream? You and your lousy metaphors..."
As he moved closer to me, he said, "Well, it's the best way I could think of to convey my thoughts to you." He added, "But, more importantly, did it make you wanna fool around?"
"No," I responded, as I got up from the sofa. "It made me hungry for ice cream, actually..."
71 comments:
That is funny!
Yeah, the same ol same ol...my husband is ready all the time. We have Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I think that is one reason I go to bed later. He will be asleep.
The Sci Fi...He loves watching the same show over and over. It drives me crazy. Even though I am usually writing or reading. I glance up to see the same episode for 102nd time. UGH!
Hmmm. Sounds like someone needs to get an unmarked package in the mail and a new pack of batteries. That will spice things up. Was that TMI? Came by for a peek. Come on over to our place and hang out for a little blog and vlog fun. Holly:)
I'm glad to hear you guys were talking about it, and the good news is it seems like he's game for whatever you're game for-maybe next time there will be a little LESS talking ;)
That was funny. My husband never asks. He just waits until we are in bed, then goes for it with his eyes closed. If I want anything different I have to be the one to start it.
And now I want some ice cream.
That's funny! He actually talks about it, even analyzes why he is that way and makes analogies. Wow. :)
Seriously, our husbands could trade places and neither of us would know the difference. Of course, they wouldn't either ... the smart a@# comments would continue to flow.
Is it wrong to be turned on by ice cream?
sounds like a conversation in my house. I swear we are living the same lives in different cities. It's very Twilight Zone...
I'm actually the boring one in our sex life but we do mix it up here and there ;).
Hilarious post. Now I want some ice cream. Ice cream....*drool*
I think he said it best though. Men are all the same and when an opportunity presents itself, that's the only thing on their mind. Me, I'm all about the ice-cream...and sleep. Ice-cream, then sleep. And I do like to change the flavors up. Not the man, just the ice-cream flavors. My husband could eat turkey sandwiches every day and cookies and cream ice-cream for dessert. I guess that's a good thing.
How funny! After seeing the title - I had to come and read your post. So funny, Helene! I love how he compared it to ice cream. Ya know, now I want some ice cream too.
sounds like us :)
Ha! Poor hubby! He was trying so hard! That reminds me of the time I came up to my husband one evening and asked, "Hey, wanna fool around?" He dropped EVERYTHING and ran up to the bedroom in a full sprint! When I met him there he said, "By the way, you NEVER have to ask me that question, EVER!!"
Boys!!
Great story! Thanks for the laugh!
Ice cream and sex are both on my list of not getting any - it's a perfect correlation for me :)
Sometimes I feel sorry for men. Their life must be so boring. ;)
Ice cream vs. sex.
Hmmmmmmmmmm.
I'd say I'd choose the one that goes best with hot fudge, but that doesn't really clarify it now, does it?
That was too funny! Great post!
LOL...yeah, thanks for making me want ice cream! I guess I may have to leave work and walk to McDonald's. Maybe men are waaaay less complicated than we think?
LMAO So sounds like something my Hubs would say.
I would want the ice cream then, too.
Tim is ALL MAN. HELL YEAH. Tim speaks the truth. Amen TIM. Should I go on.
Ice Cream, Dishwashers. Tim is the man!!
Gotta give it to him Helene, well you dont have to, oh wrong thing to say.
I meant give him credit.....I bet Tim is gonna get crazy now
i think your hubby needs to chat with mine - i set up the perfect "ice cream" buffet at the new house. and he turned it down! guess the house is still too much of a stressor to enjoy. we took a nap snuggling instead.
lmbo alrighty then.. did he not get that that was not exactly the best analogy to use?? I mean why not say well hun I can't get anything else so I will settle for the comfort of the same thing cause ya know it's guaranteed lol..
Hummmm, sex and ice cream. I'll take mine with hot fudge, please!!!
God bless ya'll!!!
Did you have this conversation with my husband?
Lol!
Too funny!
:D
I think your husband is sweet! :o)
I gave you a blog award today on my page!
Super cute. I think I am in the mood for some icecream now...
All men are the same! Now, let's see what kind of ice cream i have in my freezer! LOL
www.what-comes-next.net
lol!
HAHAHA Helene, I love you. "What's the matter, no sci-fi shows on tonight??" Totally something I would say.
Hilarious and so true!! P.S. My hubby always gets the same flavor---ha ha!!
LOL!
It is the same over here. I think they are just happy to have sex anything else would be a bonus!
I'm too tired a lot of the time, too. But it's true that men are just always at the ready. It's a frustrating part of our relationship.
And besides, ice cream can be much better than sex.
Why is it that the wives say "Im too tired"? Us husbands only need minutes of your time.
Remember the saying "Have your ICE CREAM AND EAT IT TOO"
Us husbands can have the Ice Cream and you wives can eat it too.
Dr. Oz says cuddling gets you in the door so I have been working on Dr. Oz words to the wise.
We CAN'T mention a can of whipping cream around our house w/o some assumptions. At least he's talking! Not that that helped you any! Too funny!
That doesn't change. Ever. After 26 yrs, it's still the same.
Ice cream! Pick the ice cream!! :)
Oh sweetie, you would not believe how many BIG projects we've lived through over the past 37 years. We play well together.
Have a great evening!!!
LOL so funny. Men will always be boys...
You know what my husband told me the other day? That I should initiate more. Yeah. Um are we 16? Because if you make a move for it and I dont huff and puff and say not tonight then we are pretty much good to go
I'd say the same thing. Men Men Men, I think were lucky to have found the kind that aren't bored!
My hubby knows that if he brings me ice cream, it might score him some points for later! LOL!
Ha Ha Ha - I'd take a bowl of Heath Bar Crunch over him any night of the week. Those poor guys!!
OUCH! Ice cream over sex. I am sure he was thrilled:) My husband would be happy to just entertain the thought of sex these days. Boy do kids change a person's sex life. LOL I hope you enjoyed the ice cream at least.
This is so funny my first visit and I shall be back.
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
I'll take some butter pecan....
Yep - I sure like ice cream too!
Sex and Ice Cream..... two great things, all in one post!
Stopping in from SITS! :)
that is just too funny.. Thanks for all of your kind thoughts the other day.
Oh my goodness! This was too funny! Ice cream is sounding pretty good about now for me too! :)
I love it! Now? I have got some books/ideas I can pass onto him if he needs it. I am a big fan of change!
Mmm..now I want ice cream, too!
Although that was a pretty pathetic analogy. I mean, would it really have been so hard for him to just say some crap like, "I'm never bored because I just love you sooooo much."
If sex is like ice cream then I'm lactose intolerant.
Damn Helene...you is harsh...lol. Poor Tim. Maybe if he offered you ice cream first...hmmm?
Men are retarded...
OMG!! I was laughing so hard through this post.
My husband works with computers as well and I think he would come up with the ice cream analogy as well...guys!! What do we do with them!!!
I think my husband and I have had this EXACT conversation!
LOL
And it always just makes me want ice cream..... =)
Seriously, make me a bowl while you're at!
haha funny!
Now I want ice cream!
I've had this conversation too!
I've got some interesting strawberry ice cream in the freezer that I'm going to have to eat now.
LOL! Sounds like a line right out of my sex life. I totally feel you on the redundant. I like to mix things up, but he could care less. I hate it. But if it gets the job done and he's happy... I'm happy. Oh and you could of included the ice cream in the fooling around if you wanted to spice things up... LOL!
I also wanted to let you know that I nominated you for a blogging award, b/c I LOVE your blog. Here is the post with the nomination:
http://itty-bitty-baby-dreams.blogspot.com/2010/02/i-won-blogging-award.html
Wow. i seriously think me and my husband have had the exact same conversation.... he even uses the phrase... so you wanna fool around?
hilarious!!
Lily
What does it mean that my husband has ice cream every night? Hmm.
SO funny! ;) hope you enjoyed your ice cream!! ha ha!
Just Jenn~ www.seizingmyday.com
Sounds similar to conversations we have in my home. I have to believe your husband because he sounds just like my husband.
LMAO!!!! Hilarious! I'd rather have the ice cream ;)
So funny, poor Tim. Hope he at least enjoyed some ice cream with you!
LOL Oh I so needed that laugh. I feel sorry for Tim but I can see my husband using the same analogy thinking it will go straight to my heart like ice creams does lol
HAHAHA Too funny. :)
I think my hubby is just fine with the "same ol, same ol" since it means he's actually getting SOME ;)
...isn't that an episode of Friends? Sex and ice cream?
I knew you were going to say, it makes me hungry for ice cream! I would have said the same thing!
The other night I really wanted to pick up the magazine on my bedside table...
I don't mean to make waves....but if my husband told me he liked 2 flavors of ice cream, I'd ask him which one was me and then chew him out. ;)
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