Thursday, March 4, 2010

All kinds of paranormal activity going on around here...

I have had the movie Paranormal Activity on our Netflix queu for what seems like an eternity. It finally came in the mail and I could hardly wait to watch this ghost movie that I had heard nothing but good things about.

So, picture it....last Friday night and the kids are in bed. I pop the DVD in and drag Tim to the sofa.

He hates these kinds of movies but he knows I'm a total wimp and I need him to be right there with me, in case I start hearing an annoying voice telling me to go into the light.

Plus, it makes him feel all manly at the thought of having to protect me. He didn't tell me that but a woman knows this kind of stuff, naturally.

We're watching the movie and it's getting creepier with each passing minute. I'm literally jumping off the sofa at certain points of the movie, while Tim's rolling his eyes.

Me: Oh my Gosh, the door opened and closed by itself!
Tim: Sweetie, this stuff is NOT real.
Me: Yeah it is! Mary said they used to live in a house that was haunted.
Tim: There are no such thing as ghosts. She probably had too much to drink that night or something.
Me: No, it wasn't just one night. The ghost was there, like, ALL. THE. TIME.
Tim: I'm telling you that there's no way...
Me: Shush, I'm missing the movie.
Tim: Whatever...

After about 10 minutes, he's starting to get into the movie...rewinding it every time I happened to miss something that the ghost did.

Tim: Wait...did you see the ghost's shadow on the door?
Me: No, what shadow?
Tim: Here, I'll rewind it....see, LOOK!
Me: Holy crap! This is really freaking me out.
Tim: Yeah, but you know it's not real.
Me: Whatever...

As we're watching it, I'm throwing out questions left and right...

Me: How can they even sleep at all? Why don't they just do rotating shifts so one of them is awake at all hours of the night?
Tim: Well...
Me: I'm not done. I mean, why aren't they calling Good Morning America or John Edward? They'd be stupid not to seek professional help. The media would be all over this faster than I could finish a tub of ice cream!
Tim: Sweetie...
Me: Shush...no more talking! Now you're just annoying me!

These exchanges continue until finally the movie is over, with such a horrifying, demonic ending it leaves me completely convinced I will have nightmares for the next 10 years.

Me: Oh man, that was SO freaky. I don't think I'll be able to sleep for the next decade.
Tim: Well, maybe we should take advantage of your insomnia.
Me: Good God, is that ALL you ever think about?! Never mind, don't answer that.

By this time, Landon has woken up and come downstairs to join in on the fun. He snuggles in with Tim on the sofa, while I run off to the bathroom to pee.

Just as I'm about to cop a squat, something big, black and hairy scurries across my feet. I scream as loudly and as violently as that chick, Katie, did at the end of the movie.

Me: OH. MY. GOD. OH. MY. GOD. THERE'S. A. FREAKIN. MOUSE. IN. HERE.

I run out of the bathroom to see Tim and Landon staring at me all wide-eyed and stunned.

Tim: Yeah, I saw it run out from under the door and into the laundry room.
Me: What? You saw it?
Tim: Yeah..sweetie, I've never heard you scream like that before!
Me: Not even during sex? Hmmm, I bet that's rather disappointing to you, isn't it?

Tim: You don't miss an opportunity, do you? At first, I thought you were joking around but that's when I saw it run out from under the door.
Me: Crap, crap, crappity, crap! We have to deal with this because I CANNOT sleep in a house where a mouse is freely roaming about.
Tim: Well, I thought we had already established that you weren't going to sleep anyway because of the movie.
Me: Will you PLEASE just catch the freakin' mouse?

Sensing that he was pushing my buttons and knowing full well that nothing good ever comes out of that, he grabbed the broom and opened the utility closet...and out came that disgusting mouse, taunting us as he fled by.

We both stood there frozen in place as the mouse squeezed himself underneath the dryer. Great...he was probably going back to his little colony to let them know that he had struck gold...a house full of kids who drop food all over the place and two parents who are too tired to bother with it.

Landon: You catch the mouse yet, Daddy?


Tim: Hey sweetie, look at how well I handle this big stick...impressive, isn't it?
Me: Uh, I'd be more impressed if you actually used it to get the mouse out of here rather than turn it into a phallic symbol.
This is when we decided to make good use of our fearless cat...who wasn't exactly wild about the idea. She'd eaten her fair share of birds for the day and wasn't exactly craving mouse a l'orange.


Tim shut himself in the laundry room with the mouse and the cat, assuming there would be a throwdown, while Landon stuck his nose under the door, asking repeatedly, "Daddy, you catch the mouse yet?"


No such luck with the mouse. But we did manage to find the colorless markers, a now-empty bottle of vinegar, a couple bibs, and my mini sewing kit...which I've never actually used.


Still, no sign of the dreaded mouse.

Tim: He probably found a hole in the dryer vent and crawled out that way.
Me: Is that supposed to make me feel better...because it doesn't.

Tim shrugs his shoulders, obviously at a loss.

Me: Great...so if he can get OUT that way, imagine all the other mice that can get IN the same way.
Tim: Oh yeah, hadn't thought of it like that.

Me: Well, of course you didn't. I mean, how could you when 99.9% of your brain's functioning is being consumed in order to pump blood down to your penis 24 hours a day?

So he hunted down the sticky traps that the exterminator had left behind, like, 6 months ago. And he plastered them around the walls and the door, leading into the laundry room.

We never did catch the mouse...and the next morning I walked into the laundry room and got one of my feet stuck on a sticky trap.

Damn mouse. He better not show himself around here again. This means war.

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64 comments:

Wendy said...

That is hilarious! I hope you catch it soon!

Carly said...

I saw that movie. I had Nightmears. It was so scary!

Samantha said...

"Maybe we should take advantage of your insomnia." lol...sounds exactly like something my Hubby would say. I do hope you catch the mouse. Mice are no fun. We had an entire family of Mice living in our house one time. Ugh. That's just not fun.

Menopausal New Mom said...

OMG Helene!! I love a good ghost story so I'm gonna have to rent this one but I can't watch this stuff around my hubby. He's too scientific to believe in this but I grew up in a haunted house and now live in a house that was built in 1891. Oh yeah, I need a good ghost story too, I mean seriously, who needs sleep anymore? A house this old? I'll be awake every time the wind blows!

About the mouse, did I mention our house was built in 1891 with a clay basement? Yep, we get at least 2 mice in here every Fall while they look for a warm place but we do the spring mouse trap thing and it takes care of the problem very quickly and efficiently.

Keep any eye out for little black sticks of mouse pooh, that will tell you if your critter is gone and I hate to say it but check around your food. That's where mice like to hang out. Ewwwww!!!

Bethany said...

Oh my gosh, lol! I'm laughing hard-- I hope you can catch the mouse, very soon!

Buckeroomama said...

I hope you get that little critter soon. Ew, I don't know which I dislike more --the mouse or the sticky trap (worse, stepping on a sticky trap)!

Screwed Up Texan said...

Sticky traps?? I know what they are but I guess I'm just not humane. Mouse trap with peanut butter is my name. Remember that no matter what you use, put it along the walls where mice and rats like to travel.

Of course, here we have these HUUUUUGE rats and every winter they try to make home in our home. Except this last year. I think word got out in the rat community that we use a combo of traps, 2 x 4s, and bait.

Even the squirrels hate me.

Which is good because I like squirrel chops.

The Boob Nazi said...

I REFUSE to watch that movie. I get scared from Ghostbusters.

HT said...

Watching paranormal movies is also one of my vices. I do believe in spirits and spirits moving on to the next world, but I do agree with Tim in that many of these things are totally staged.

Have you every watched, 'What lies Beneath' with Harrison Ford and Michelle Phieffer? Hands down one of my favorite scary movies!!

High On Craft said...

Oh my goodness. Thanks for the morning laugh! I think your husband and mine might have been separated at birth...

Nezzy said...

Oh baby, those sticky pads are next to impossible to get off. Yep, I've encountered more than one,I'm afraid to say. I sure hope ya trap, smash or poison the little critter before it scares the bajeebers out of ya.

I don't allow myself to watch those scary movies, even a 57 I'll have nightmares for weeks therefore I don't do it....wouldn't be prudent!

Ya'll have a greatly blessed day!!!

singedwingangel said...

Lmbo tell your hubby yes hauntings are real. as are ghosts and spirits..
AS far as the mouse don't set traps with just cheese, use peanut butter or popcorn both things they adore. But the peanut butter keeps them from literally grabbing and running, because it's sticky. To keep them out in the future check anyplace you have plumbing going in or out and put mesh wire cleaners in those gaps..

Angela Cooper said...

If that mouse is smart, he's not coming back. On the other hand when I was little we lived in a house that had some unusual acivity. When my brother woke up one morning with a dark ink mark on his face that was it for my mom. We left that house early in the morning and never returned.

We live in a Zoo! said...

What is it about mice and bathrooms. I had a mouse encounter in my bathroom (in my last apartment before I moved to my house) Its like they know its where we are at our most vulnerable. Our first thought will always be to protect our exposed selves rather than try to kill a mouse. :(

Christa said...

You always manage to make me laugh!! I hate mice too! We had them at my parents old house and it was awful. They use to hang out by the washer and dryer where we also kept the dog food and one morning after I had gotten out of the shower I went over to the dryer to get my clothes and slammed on the dryer (this usually sent them running), after about a minute no mice came running So I bent down and went to get my clothes and that's when it happened a mouse ran by the top of the dryer so close to my head that I could feel the breeze YUCK I had never screamed so loud!

Kristina P. said...

You are hilarious. And mice creep me out!

Rocketgurl said...

That movie had we thinking for days!! The ending was creepy and when Katie would stand over her husband and watch him sleep for hours was crazy!!

Hope you catch that darn mouse and find and close any holes. It feels like such a violation! LOL

christy rose said...

Oh my goodness! What a hilarious story!! I was laughing so hard!! I hate mice too! I understand the scream!! :)

Eva Gallant said...

What a great post! The pictures and dialogue are wonderful! I love Landen peeking under the door!

Robin said...

"Get that Darn Mouse"... I forget where that phrase came from but its stuck in my mind...great pics...we had that movie on too..but as usual I was doing to much shit to sit and pay attention..Im going to try to watch again..thanks for the review..I think..!

Jenny said...

Yikes the mouse in the house sounds scarier then the movie!

I hope he doesn't come back!

MamaOtwins+1 said...

It's a wonder anyone slept that night. We too havea mouse, yet to be caught. I didn't know he existed, but apparently dear hubby watched him run across the kitchen floor and said, without moving, there goes the mouse!

ps. I posted an award for you today - to be your forgiveness of my absence ;)

LaVonne said...

too funny!

You know, I have a love/hate relationship with Netflix. I NEVER get any new releases! Man, get more DVDs!

wahzat!! said...

I never want to see that movie... your husband is good to watch it with you LOL
Giggle you are so funny..

cindi said...

HAHAHAHA BunBun and I recently watched this movie and about half way through I made him coe sit next to me on the sofa. He kept telling me that it was real and reminding me how much Blair Witch scared me and did I want to go stand in the corner so I didn't have to look at the tv screen? Jerk!

Living It, Loving It said...

Your life is even interesting when the kids go to bed.

Annie said...

OMG, I'm laughing a lot with your post. You are so funny.

BTW, I hate mouse (when I was in college I saw one very big (rat) and look like a rabbit). I'm with you, that means WAR.

Who you thing is going to win?

Mighty M said...

The mouse was sent to take your mind of that scary movie!

Marianne said...

HAHAHAHA... in case you forgot, I love you! And Tim cracks me up!!! Does he have a younger, equally as hilarious, single brother? I'm willing to relocate (but you already knew that).


And no thank you to Paranormal Activity. My brother saw it and said, and I quote " That shit is [effed] up, don't see it unless you wear a diaper."

Tiffany said...

You are too much! I would just die I absolutely hate rats and mice and lately our cat has been killing them outside and leaving them on our front porch. That movie is freaky huh? I just saw it a couple of weeks ago and immediately had to google and see if it was real. But I guess since the movie has an alternate ending to choose from that should have given it away.

WhisperingWriter said...

LOL!

I saw Paranormal Activity and was all sorts of freaked out.

2wired2tired.com said...

What a night! I can't watch scary movies in the first place and then to have watched one and have a mouse run across my feet would be horrifying! Glad you like the movie though - at least I think you did! Here's to hoping that mouse won't be back.

Missie said...

We had a pet Mighty Mouse for a few weeks until one day we finally got him! he kept breaking out of the traps! I hate those things. Paranormal Activity was a good movie!

Kaleena said...

We tried using those sticky traps once. Lol, caught all 3 of our little chihuahuas, but never did catch a mouse! Hope you have better luck. We did eventually get our little mouse, but only because he got brave and walked out in front of me. I was walking by and accidently stepped on him as he scurried out. Poor thing, was crushed to death while I shieked in horror! I like to think that death came quickly and he didn't suffer. My husband thought it was hilarious. He looked at the poor little mouse and then looked back into my teary eyes and said, "poor little thing, he probably had a family too!"

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

WOuld you rather have a ghost or a mouse come in while you were on the potty?

Me: GHOST!

Michelle @ Flying Giggles said...

Yikes, I hope you guys get that little guy soon! I would probably freak out. I am adding Paranormal Activity to my list.

Side note, there is a house around the block from my parents that everyone thinks is haunted. There has been two murders in it since I was a kid and everyone who moves in, quickly moves out. I was just at my mom's a few days ago and noticed the house empty and up for sale AGAIN!

Rebecca said...

OMG...this is HYSTERICAL!!! From the realistic husband to his big stick. Best line?

Me: Well, of course you didn't. I mean, how could you when 99.9% of your brain's functioning is being consumed in order to pump blood down to your penis 24 hours a day?

Thanks...I needed that today!

LucidLilith said...

Reminds me of a battle I had with a mouse. I tried a mouse trap with bait but it ate the bait for a whole week without getting caught. I was a mouse butler. Once I checked the trap to see if it worked and my hand got caught in it. Then i took the gloves off and bought poison bait. Drama queen rat died on my accent cushion. The most comfy part of the house.

blueviolet said...

Don't give up! You'll get that little sucker!

Trippy Momma said...

oh man... this whole post was hilarious. Paranormal Activity was super super scary. By the end I had my head buried in my bf's arm, and yelling at him to just tell me what happens!

I Hope you catch your mouse!

http://is-it-naptime-yet.blogspot.com

Ms Bibi said...

I hope you catch that pesky visitor. I hate when one of them makes it in.

I don't think I could watch that movie. i would never sleep again,lol.

Sonora said...

I thought that movie was terrifying. We saw it in the theater on one of our rare date nights and it scared me to death. I was terrified for several nights. I'm with you, why would they just stay there and sleep.
So funny that the mouse happened the same night. I hope you catch him!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

I watched the movie and made my daughter so mad because I kept commenting.."Why are they still sleeping? They need to get up and move out of the place. No, he needs to leave her there and HE needs to move to another place. Why aren't they calling someone?"

I get so frustrated because I know I would've handled the situation so very differently.

Hope you catch your dear mouse friend. Nothing like knowing that one is in there, and probably inviting his relatives over for a picnic as well.

Karen said...

I refused to watch Paranormal Activity when I found out it was about demons and stuff. That just creeps me out way too much.

Hope the mouse has escaped and learned his lesson!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

This post scared me on almost every level possible, if that in face, is possible. Ghosts, noises, mice...sheesh!!!!

Cascia said...

That movie you saw does sound a little too creepy for me. I hope you catch that mouse soon. Maybe I should lend you our cat. He is good at catching mice. He used to catch them all the time when we lived in our old house. Good luck!

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Old-fashion traps baited with a pecan. It works, trust me!

Amy W said...

What is it with the mice this week? We had one leaving droppings by the back door in the garage. Set a trap, and now he's gone. Hopefully there was only one!!! Yuck!

Jennifer said...

OMG I was laughing so hard I woke my kids up and I was crying! This is high-larious!!!! I watched the movie in theaters(ok not really watched it I was hiding behind my husband most the time I suspected anything bad bout to happen. My friend ended up screamin bloody murder so bad at the end of the movie for liek 5 mins...she swears to this day she didnt even realize it was her screamin at first!

Mrsbear said...

Funny how quickly your priorities shift. Forget the demonic occurrences, there's a bleeping rat in the house!!! KILL IT.

Now I've got to go watch the movie...with a willing accomplice of course. I'm a chicken.

D said...

We can relate. Our neighbors are fixing up their house and with all the chemicals the mice are jumping ship over to us. Angel is supposed to catch mice but she just doesn't get it. We've had some micey moments too though. Mom recently stuck her foot on the mentioned sticky traps and there was a live mouse on it! EWW! Then the other night the mouse ran across her foot. YUCK!

Liz @ Sugarplum Creations said...

Ick! I hate mice! When we first moved into our house we had an occasional mouse, ONLY on the nights that Jeremy was at work. Like I can sleep with a mouse in my house????

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Did it seriously run right over your feet?? Because I would probably have keeled right over.

Merri Ann said...

I grew up watching scary movies ... but the last one I saw was "Jeepers Creepers" ... I was 6 months pregnant with my first and it scared me so bad I started having contractions ... that was the last one I ever saw ... and judging by the comments I'm especially NOT seeing this one.

And, I HATE MICE ... AAAGGGHHHH ...

I would immediately stop buying cat food ...

I'm just sayin .... :)

Neo said...

now i'm never watchin paranormal activity...EVER! Ever! Oh well maybe i will.

i hate mice/rats. but whenever i see one i never say anythin cos then my sister would make sure we were up all night tryin to catch it while she sips earl grey and watches Friends!

Missy (Two Little Monkeys) said...

I so want to watch Paranormal Activity - I have a love/hate relationship with that kind of stuff.
And ewww, on the mouse. I hate mice. I hope you catch it soon.
I love your photos and reading of how the events took place. So funny!

Amy said...

I would have screamed too. Like when I found the mouse in the basement at Christmas time. My husband heard me scream but did not come running he knew what happened. I would have locked that cat in the room all night..

Thanks for you kind comments on my Mom she is awesome..

Have a great weekend.

The Lane Family said...

This post was so darn funny and I love the picture of Landon laying on the floor and looking for the mouse.

I am glad to see that one thing we can count on from all men is their obvious one track mind for SEX!!

I agree with you about the movie. Jim and I saw it at the theater and I was jumping and digging my nails into his hand for a good portion of it. It may not be real but it has a great scare factor!!

Frugal Vicki said...

You guys are like my favorite couple ever! I want to come live with you!

shortmama said...

We saw that movie too and it was freaky!!! The whole time you were just waiting for what could possibly happen next...didnt like the ending though...but the rest was great!

The mouse reminds me of a funny story from when I was a kid...have to add that to my topic list!

Joy said...

If you want to try again with the mouse, put peanut butter on the sticky trap. That's how they caught one in my office at work. Disgusting to get rid of though!

Erin said...

That movie scared the crap out of me, but I HAD to see it. My husband was creeped out too, but like you, I was convinced it was "real." He laughed at me.

I'm horrified the mouse escaped. What are cats for, anyway?!?!

And Landon is the CUTEST thing peeping under the door.

Kitty said...

too funny!

heather@it'stwinsanity said...

I'm totally more scared of the thought of watching that movie than the thought of the mouse!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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