Wednesday, March 24, 2010

TMC Featured Blogger...probably way more than you wanted to know!

Today I'm the featured blogger over at Theta Mom Community. I'm sure many of you know who Theta Mom is. And if you don't...what are you waiting for?

Heather, the woman behind TMC, is Amazing. No, that's not a typo ...she is Amazing, with a capital A. Not only is Heather one of the sweetest and friendliest bloggers out there, she started TMC as a way to encourage other bloggers to mix and mingle.

Welcome to any newbies stopping by via TMC...so glad you took the time to visit! Let me give you a little bit of background...for those of you who read my blog regularly, stop rolling your eyes. Stick around...maybe I'll surprise you with a juicy secret that I've never shared before.

Almost 15 years ago, I met my husband, Tim, on a blind date. This was before the days of internet dating...oh wow, I totally just dated myself. My kids once asked me if I ever had a dinosaur as a pet when I was their age. I'm not THAT old, for crying out loud. I tried hard not to be offended.

We dated for 7 long, eventful years...many ups and downs, with him hemming and hawing over whether or not he could handle the commitment of marriage. And just as my uterus and ovaries were ready to pack their bags and head down to Boca Raton with plans to retire, he popped the question.

Here we are on our wedding day...


So, while my uterus was overjoyed at the prospect of a new houseguest or two, my ovaries, however, found the idea of retirement too alluring to pass up. I tried coaxing them out of their journey of solitude with a little bit of Clomid and a whole lot of baby-making sex. No such luck....

By this point, I was done with being cordial...it was time to get aggressive and my ovaries weren't given any more friendly options. They'd have to cooperate, whether they liked it or not.

We embarked on the adventure of a lifetime or, as some people refer to it, IVF. I was excited...Tim was nervous...our bank account was drained.

I spent a lot of time pushing a bunch of long-ass needles into my belly, as well as my butt cheeks, while Tim anxiously hurried through the ONE thing that was required of him...a couple visits to the Spank Tank.

I tried my best to sympathize with him...I truly did. Offering encouragement, I would say, "I totally understand how difficult this is for you....just do your best. Oh, and make sure you get it all in the cup, okay? Love you".

That last part about "getting it all in the cup" was really just for the nurse's benefit, as she had already given Tim the same warning.

I tried to lighten up the situation by saying, "Hey, do you think maybe the nurses go in to the Spank Tank after hours, armed with those CSI ultra-violet lights to examine the walls for semen spatter...I mean, really...why would they tell you to make sure to get it ALL in the cup. Someone obviously had issues with bad aim."

Poor Tim, right? The last thing he needed was me joking about something so serious. BUT if I learned anything through our struggle with infertility, it was that having a sense of humor was an absolute MUST. You can either cry while enduring it or you can laugh your way through it...I chose to laugh, most of the time anyway.

It took us 3 IVF's, 1 miscarriage and a whole lot of hard-earned money to finally conceive our 1st set of twins, Cole and Bella. They were well worth every minute of it, too.

Our 2nd set of twins, Garrett and Landon, came along when we least expected a miracle of that multitude. After having suffered through 2 more miscarriages and another IVF cycle (a frozen embryo transfer), we had given up the dream of having more children.

But the sun, moon and stars must have been perfectly aligned on THAT one night when Tim's parents offered to babysit Cole and Bella and we went out for dinner, got drunk on wine and engaged in some intimate activities...

...right at the exact same time when my disgruntled ovaries decided to kick out the very last 2 eggs which they had claimed custodial rights over a long long time ago.

And that, my friends, is how we ended up with TWO sets of twins. The title of my blog says it all, right?

Of course, I'm leaving a lot of the little bitty details out for the sake of your brain being able to process all this information...and I'm also leaving out that one deep, dark secret which I might have made reference to in the beginning of this post. I'll reveal it someday...when the time is right.

Now, Cole and Bella are 5 years old and enjoying their first year of school in kindergarten. Garrett and Landon are 3 years old and I'm having the time of my life with them. I hate that time is going by so quickly and that they are all literally growing up before my very eyes. Such is life, though...I've been assured that the teenage years are challenging so I'm savoring their childhood as much as I can now.




Anyway, if you've read this far, I truly appreciate it. Tim says I chatter too much...I'm afraid he may be right.

If you have more time to kill and need a good laugh, feel free to check out some of my favorite posts...

Yeah, that's just a little bit awkward (The most humiliating ultrasound exam EVER)

Memo to the Bosses (A letter I wrote to my kids, with the hopes of renogiating my parental contract)

The whole truth about what men REALLY want in a marital partner (This is where I translate "man talk" for you)

Reverse psychology...would it really work? (Tired of the kids ignoring you when you warn them not to touch the hot stove? Read this!)

For the newbies to my blog, I hope you'll be back again! Make sure to leave a comment so I know you stopped by...and, that way, I can make a visit to your blog to get to know you better too!

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59 comments:

Merri Ann said...

As a faitful reader let me just say that the post "Yeah, that's just a little bit awkward" is probably one of the funniest things I've ever read.

I love this "Life in a nutshell" post !!

Merri Ann said...

And, of course, I meant "faithful" ...

Buckeroomama said...

The Spank Tank?! You crack me up, Helene!!

Christine said...

Stopping by for the first time. Had to admit I did a double take when I saw that you had two sets of twins! What a crazy, wild blessing. What a fun story you shared, very candid and full of personality. I'm looking forward to exploring your blog a little more, will take a browse as soon as I can.

Theta Mom said...

Helene - I am so happy to feature you because you are such an amazing writer and awesome blogger!!!

xoxo

We live in a Zoo! said...

I enjoyed your story,thanks for sharing ;D

Missy (Two Little Monkeys) said...

I love reading your blog (do I say that in every comment?)
I loved this post! Now, I am going back up to the top to try and figure out the secret. : )

Beth P. said...

Happy TMC Feature day! I have stopped by before, more like a drive-by I suppose, but I just clicked that follow button. This post is so well written, I can't help but come back for more!

What an adventure you're on. I have always been awe of twins (and secretly wish for a set of my own), so I look forward to reading more about your family!

italianmamachef said...

I am here from Theta Mom and I love your sense of humor. I can't wait to read more. I can't believe your husband let you write about the spank tank! lol....

Life Without Pink said...

Happy TMC Day! I am so glad I found your blog, what an amazing story and I am looking forward to following you. I also had to do a double take when it said "2 sets of twins". Wow! But how blessed you must feel!

Creative Junkie said...

Been a reader of yours for a long time now and I love your sense of humor. Congrats on the feature!

yonca said...

Great story Helen! You know I've always enjoyed to read your writings. Congrats on your feature!!

Jen said...

Oh, I just adore you so much. Congrats on this feature day!

And a secret you say!? Come on sister, spill it..... please. :)

Brooke said...

you're such a tease - promising us a secret then not delivering. wait...maybe being a tease is why you had trouble getting knocked up? :P

Evonne said...

Hi! I'm stopping over from TMC. I love your blog and I look forward to reading more. I'm a new follower.

Have a great day!

The Boob Nazi said...

"The Spank Tank." I'm glad that you found some humor in that! I know it can be such a dark time in people's lives.

confused homemaker said...

Congrats on being featured on TMC :)

And isn't there a saying "Tell God your plans & wait for Him to laugh?" LOL :)

Colton's Mommy said...

The "Spank Tank" analogy was great!!! I am glad that I found your blog last year. It has really made me laugh most days!!

Eva Gallant said...

I loved your story the first time I read it; I still find it amazing!

Sadia said...

Chatter too much? There's no such thing!

Oh, wait ...

Sadia said...

Chatter too much? There's no such thing!

Oh, wait ...

Mommie Daze said...

What a great story! TMC sent me over. Looking forward to reading more.

Robin said...

Ooohhh ..a secret I cant wait..!! I love the spank tank...never heard it put that way before..LMAO....I wasnt aware your second set was due to the universal balance...Wow..that is sooo kool...a true miracle..That happened to my boss too..just with the second child..IVF with the first then they thought all was safe and skipped the protection..just to find out about # 2...with the universe aligned..Lol...

Ms Bibi said...

What a wonderful story. You were a beautiful bride.

My baby story is very similar to yours except I wasn't blessed with twins. I was blessed with little singles each time. According to my doctor I should be thanking my lucky stars.

Side by Side said...

What a tease....I read all the time anyway...but now you have a secret you are holding out on us?

Thanks for the comments on my blog.
Wish I was not as shy or I would leave more. ;)

D said...

Congrats on being featured. You totally deserve it. You're awesome.

Tiffany said...

Wow. What a story...I'm hooked.

Julia said...

hey gal! so nice to meet you! congrats on being featured!! your kids are cute, your family looks amazing!! props to you for 2 sets of twins!! ;)

Cascia said...

Congratulations on being featured on that site! I enjoyed reading your story and absolutely love your blog.

Thanks for stopping by Healthy Moms and leaving us a comment.

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

Nezzy said...

I always enjoy readin' your story and it always cracks me up! Your spank tank is just too much! Heehehehe!

Great read and have a fantastic day, sweetie!!!

Miranda said...

Happy Feature Day!! Gotcha from Theta Mom, and am now a follower. Hubby & I are thinking of IVF since we can't seem to get preggers either. However the more I read on it the more twins I see LOL

~Miranda

MaryAnne said...

Congrats on being the featured blogger, and what a story! Love the pictures of your kids, too, they are super cute!

Twins Squared said...

Okay I almost spit out my lunch when I read spank tank!! Love this post - I once wanted to write a book on infertility. It is completely ridiculous and utterly humiliating from A to Z, not to mention the emotional rollercoaster. But then it all finally worked and who has time to write a book? Plus I've forgotten so much of it by now. Anyway, I agree you have to have a sense of humor. I did a lot of crying that first year but then I found others in the same trial as me and learned to laugh at our insane process of baby-making! Anyway, we are both so blessed! More than I ever dreamed - I remember thinking I'd be lucky to have even one. Who knew??

Jenny said...

LOL at the spank tank! I love your wedding pic, you look beautiful! It reminds me that I wish I would have done my hair differently on my wedding day. Oh well.

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Congrats on your day!!! Now I am dying to know the secret!!! They gave you the wrong sperm?

Alison said...

I loved reading your story! And congrats on your day! Thanks for stopping by my blog! Cake decorating is something I really enjoy also! It can be frustrating at times when it doesn't turn out exactly like I wanted...but I learn and do better next time!

christy rose said...

I loved reading your story!

Homesick Cajun said...

Thanks so much for stopping by hun!

Kristi said...

I truly enjoy reading your blog, you are so funny!! I loved your story and I think I could read it again. You look beautiful in your wedding photo too!! I'm going to have to go check out that blog!! Thanks for the giggle today Helene!!

Shelby said...

Well, I'm not a newbie to your blog... I've actually been reading it for a very long time but this is the first time I have commented. You are hilarious and I absolutely loooove to read the interviews you do with the kids. They totally crack me up! I just recently started a blog of my own to document and keep my family and friends posted on my twin pregnancy. I am having boy/girl twins in June! I am totally hooked on reading twin mom blogs right now! If you have any advice for me I would much appreciate it! Stop by my blog if you find some time... theasplunds.blogspot.com Keep up the clever and funny posts... you make my day!

Kmama said...

Stopping by from TMC. Congrats on your feature. I just read your ultrasound story and was cracking up!! I've had to insert one myself as well. Talk about awkward. I don't think I could handle a male tech though!! I didn't even know that was allowed. LOL

Jennifer said...

Hey Helene thanks for stoppin in topay! For some reason I always Feel more affirmed when you and about 4 other blogger stop in to see me, maybe its to do with how wonderful and amazing ya'lls blogs are. I don't know whats up with my blog and it hiding the comment section from people. Its on crack I think haha! Im gonna be switching templates soon in hopes that it stops it! I got ur extra entries for the giveaway too! Good luck! Hope u have a great day! And congrats on being chosen to blog for THETA! Ill drop by and check it out ASAP!

Amy W said...

You mean you have a deep, dark secret that you haven't told us about yet??

Kane's Mom said...

Your kiddos are soo stinking cute! Glad I found you from Thetamom!!

Frugal Vicki said...

Okay really, I have the worst flipping visuals involving ultraviolet lights now. EWWWWW.
I absolutely LOVE you and your blog and it was fun to look back with you!

2wired2tired.com said...

Congrats again on being featured! I enjoyed reading a bit of history and getting to know you and your family a bit better.

Alicia said...

One day, we'll have to hook up and meet halfway!! LOL

Marianne said...

OH! I saw The Girl's comment about giving the wrong sperm... that would feed in to my theory that Bella is your love child with a certain type of person (trying to avoid offending anyone), wouldn't it? HAHA. Just kidding. Sort of.

Congrats on being featured, you absolutely deserve it!! And I love that you are able to find such humor in what was such a trying time in your life.

And you were a GORGEOUS bride!

I take my nursing exam again tomorrow, hence why I've been MIA. But, I'll be sending you and the kids a surprise tomorrow night... be prepared to be grossed out ;)

Respectfully Yours said...

Wow, I loved that story. You told it beautifully. Glad you chatted, chatted, chatted...very enjoyable.

Mom of the Twinkies and Tot! said...

Can't wait to see what this little secret is of yours :)

Seeing as I am a new, but faithful follower of yours, it is fun to see how it all started for you and your family! Thanks for sharing with us!

Can't wait to check out your featured posts from today!

Donna said...

Hi doll! You deserve to be featured EVERY DAY! You're posts GIVE so much to us out here surviving Momhood!

When we were gong through our IVF - I was allergic to all of the olive oil, horse urine, WHATEVER it was they put the shots in and spent ALL day in my cube scratching the welts on my arse! Ahhh, good times! lol

Donna said...

WHAT!?! Don't leave me hanging - what is this "no reply" thing you mention? I'm an old school blogger and now I'm feeling like a virgin. wtf?

Heather @ Gerber Days said...

Congratulations on your big day! TMC all the way! Beautiful family! I'm a new follower... can't wait to read more!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I am so mad at you for not spilling the deep dark secret! I LOVE deep dark secrets!
Off to pout....

Sharlene said...

Helene that wedding picture is gorgeous!!!!!!! Congrats on being featured

ericka said...

coming over from theta mom - you have a beautiful family! can't wait to read more of your blog!

kanishk said...

- I am so happy to feature you because you are such an amazing writer and awesome blogger!!!
free internet jobs

Erin said...

OMG< I am ROFLMAO re: "Spank Tank" and "Semen Spatter." And "get it all in the cup, honey." OMG OMG OMG! Words/references that can only be spoken and appreciated by another ovary-impaired person. LOVE IT! LOL! and that wedding photo of you two is gorgeous!

Kim said...

I actually am 99% certain that I know the secret. But then again, I was online with you before you had this blog so.... But it's your juicy secret not mine so I'm not telling!

And I really love your posts!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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