Tuesday, March 30, 2010

You can pick on me…but do NOT pick on my child

Yesterday I did a review on the 8-piece fruit and vegetable set from Curious Chef. In the review, I mentioned being happy that the kids were eating a nutritious snack and that, with these new child-friendly utensils, we'd be eating more healthfully.

Unfortunately, that one statement led an ill-informed person, who went out of his/her way to create an Open ID since I no longer accept anonymous comments, to believe that the only food I provide for my children is high-calorie junk food.

Here's the repulsive comment, which I deleted, written by "BFF"...

Well good maybe you can start feeding your overweight, what 5 year old some healthy food. Instead of fighting her brother for the last bagel for breakfast she can fight over the last banana. Shame on you for letting your child become this overweight. Have you checked out her arms in the pis you posted? Or her thighs on the beach in your header? Seriously?

You can pick on me...say what you want to say about me...think what you want to think about me...but when you pick on one of MY KIDS, that's where I draw the line.

Since "BFF" chose to hide behind a poorly chosen acronym, thus leaving me no way to personally contact him/her via e-mail, I felt compelled to address him/her here on my blog.

Will he/she come back to read this? I have a feeling the answer is yes, since this person took the time to go through my archives in order to make reference to this post.

While Bella does fall into the higher percentile in terms of her weight, she is far from the level of obesity of some other children. In fact, at her last check-up, her pediatrician was very happy with her measurements. He has stressed that the goal is NOT for her to lose weight but to maintain her weight as she hits various growth spurts, which will even her out in terms of height-weight ratio.

As far as what she eats, Bella doesn't eat any differently than her siblings. We make sure all the kids eat at least 5 servings of fruit/vegetables per day and we are careful about portion size.

None of my children sit around eating donuts, cake and candy all day long. Occasionally, they get to eat Apple Jacks for breakfast, along with a glass of milk and a piece of fruit. Last time I checked, half of a whole-grain, high-fiber bagel wasn't considered "junk" food.

Bella also gets plenty of exercise, whether it be riding bikes up to the neighborhood park or running around the backyard with her siblings. She's not a sedentary couch potato laying on the sofa for hours, while eating a bowl of chips.

"BFF" asked if I had “checked out” Bella's arms in the pictures included in yesterday's post. The answer is no….I don’t obsessively scour my children’s pictures looking for what others may consider as bodily imperfections.

However, since you asked, I looked at the following 2 pictures which were posted yesterday and her arms look absolutely fine to me.

DSCN0153

DSCN0181

If you are referring to her RIGHT arm, that's not fat you see…it’s scar tissue, for your information, from an ulcerated hemangioma. The skin that is hanging down from the bend of her arm is nothing more than extra skin which was stretched-out beyond it’s elasticity when the hemangioma grew at an alarmingly fast rate.

Here’s a picture that I took recently at the park, which shows the stretched-out skin on her right arm a little more clearly.

DSCN0187

Since you seem to be lacking in knowledge, as well as tact and sensitivity, let me explain. Her hemangioma started out as a dime-sized spot on her arm at birth. When she was 26 days old, it had grown so quickly that it covered her entire bicep, as well as a small part of her forearm, which you can see in the picture directly below.

bella hemangioma

The following picture shows what it looked like when she was 2 months old, as it began to ulcerate…

bella hemangioma 2

From that point, it continued to ulcerate to the point where her muscle was exposed.

I won’t post the rest of the pictures because they are rather graphic but here’s a link to an online photo album, should you be interested in looking.

http://s6.photobucket.com/albums/y202/heltim/Bella/

If you even dare to think for a minute that we could have prevented this from happening, you’d be wrong, once again. On the contrary, we desperately tried to stay one step ahead at all times with the sole purpose of preventing it from getting any worse than it already was.

We were at our pediatrician’s office practically on a daily basis, including both Thanksgiving and Christmas morning, as we attempted to get the constant bleeding under control.

Our precious baby girl endured laser treatments, steroid shots directly into the ulcerated hemangioma, numerous cauterizations…she was in constant pain and spent most of her days doped up on tylenol with codeine to ease her discomfort.

I spent hours researching various treatments which might have helped and, in the end, happened to stumble upon a miracle drug that finally worked to control the bleeding.

In addition, we consulted with various out-of-town professionals, two in particular being Dr. John Reinisch and Dr. Ilona Frieden, both well-reknown surgeons specializing in children with vascular tumors.

Due to the extent of the scarring, no amount of surgery will ever fully repair the cosmetic damage caused by the hemangioma. The extra skin that sags beneath her elbow can be removed at any time if she chooses, however.

Believe it or not, cosmetic issues and physical appearance weren’t necessarily a priority when we were considering she might have lost the use of her arm after the hemangioma ulcerated down to the muscle.

And you know what? Upon several surgical consults, Bella told us she doesn’t want to undergo cosmetic surgery. She likes her arm the way it is and she’s happy with the reflection she sees of herself when she looks in the mirror.

If her desire to have surgery changes as she gets older, we’ll support her in every way possible.

What makes Bella even more special is her resilience and her lovable spirit . She’s often approached by other children who are curious about what has happened to her arm and she explains it to the best of her ability, often saying, “That’s where I was kissed by an angel”.

In your comment, you wrote how I should be ashamed of myself. No, I think YOU should be ashamed of YOURSELF for picking on an innocent child who has more courage than you ever will.

People with your attitude and ignorance are the reason why we have young teenagers starving themselves or binging and purging…all so they can exhibit how they think they’re expected to look by jerks such as yourself.

Those are the girls with low self-esteem which you should be concerned about…not a sweet, precious FIVE year old child, who happens to have a little extra baby fat on her thighs!

Please know that my issue is not the fact that you expressed your opinion and thoughts on the matter. My problem is the MANNER in which you chose to express those thoughts. You were callous, disrespectful and presumptuous.

I appreciate your concern about my daughter’s weight but it’s well under control. Now that you’ve been assured of that, perhaps your time would be better spent looking deep within yourself to figure out why you are so superficially bent on physical appearances.

I can only pray that if you have children of your own and/or work on a daily basis with young, impressionable children that you are not as judgmental or cruel to them as you have been to my daughter.

Upon reading your comment this morning, I could not stop myself from shaking with rage, after being reduced to nothing more than a heaping pile of bitter tears. I’m not ashamed to admit that I let your comment get under my skin…any caring, protective mother would have felt the same way.

I’ve stewed in anger all day over this. However, now I’m finally letting it go…I NEED to let it go.

I’ve wasted enough energy today on someone who’s so obviously shallow and not even worth a bit of the salt in my tears.

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158 comments:

Mass Hole Mommy said...

I would have been furious, too. What a terrible thing to say to someone about their child (who looks just adorable btw). What a jerk.

Theresa said...

Oh Helene, how terrible. I know what a road you've had with Bella's hemangioma. How awful that someone who is an 'adult' could act in such a manner. Please don't let it get to you. Bella is a beautiful girl and I feel bad for whomever the ugly person is that said those things to you.

blueviolet said...

I didn't realize Bella had been through such an experience with her arm. Poor little thing! That looks like it must have been exceedingly painful. I'm glad she's all healed up now and the cherub of delight she is.

melissa78 said...

DO NOT let this person win. F him/her. You are great mother, we can see that by all the awesome pictures you post & all the activites you do with them. For someone to take the time to look over you blog with a fine tooth and comb seriously has no life & needs to get one & stop worring what your kids are freaking eating & not eating. (((hugs ))) Hey Bee.othch if you are reading this GET A F**KING LIFE!!!!!!

BigSis said...

That jerk is completely out of line. Bella is beautiful and healthy. Please don't waste another iota of energy on an ignoramus!

Merri Ann said...

I'm just stunned at peoples ignorance ... and insensitivity.

Well said Momma Bear ...

Em said...

It's amazing what middle schoolers will do while home on Spring Break - just a common, pot-stirring troll.

Chin up. And know that karma is a bitch and will find BFF, that I'm sure.

Megan said...

HOW DARE THAT FATTY!!!!

I figure that the bitch behind the comment must really struggle with weight otherwise they wouldn't be judging someone else. And ya know what?

She was probably cramming a donut down her throat as she wrote it.

Bring it Be-otch. Helene's friends will show you fat. Starting with a fat lip.....

I ♥ Bella and her beautiful little self. I think she is PERFECT just the way she is.

HT said...

I'm so sorry this person said these terrible things and hurt you so much!

I think you have a lovely family and Bella is a beautiful girl!

I don't know if blogger will do this, but they might be able to compare the IP addresses on the backend and when they find a match you will know who said these things and block them from your site! Or maybe a lawyer can have it done for you.

Nothing you do online is private. It is there for everybody to see.

Mimi and Tilly said...

Helene, I am so sorry you have had to deal with someone being so completely insensitive and cruel towards you and your family. Bella is a complete delight. Some people are just plain rude, lonely and very hurtful. As well as cowardly. Bella is totally beautiful. Don't waste another minute giving this person your energy. The judgements they have made say a lot about them and nothing at all about you or your family.

The Boob Nazi said...

I think it's ridiculous that someone would take a post about fruit and write about that. goodness.

Colton's Mommy said...

That is awful that someone would be so rude and post that kind of comment on your own personal blog. I really enjoying reading what you have to say and I hope that you will not alter what you say and post because some idiot comments hurtful words.
I knew that Bella had a hemangioma but I didn't realize how serious it was until I looked at the photo album you posted. Poor baby!! It must have been extremely painful. Bella is a very brave and beautiful little girl and she is much to young to worry about what others think of her.
You are a great Mommy and whoever posted should be the one that is ashamed and embarrassed!!

zookeeperjess said...

That seriously made me want to cry. I don't understand how people can be so cruel. To a FIVE year old nonetheless.

They should be ashamed of themselves. She is beautiful!!!!!

They are obviously an ugly person. Beauty starts within and no beautiful person would say something like that!!!

The Step In Mom. . . said...

What a jerk. This person obviously doesn't have kids, or else they would know parents are always looking of new and fun ways to get their kids to eat healthy and ENJOY it. No parent wants to be the fruit Nazi.

Don't let this jerk get to you. Your daughter is beautiful, and I didn't think she looked "over weight" at all. Either way, the main thing is that her Dr. says she is healthy. No one wants to be a toothpick.

LauraC said...

Helene, it breaks my heart that you had to waste even one minute on someone as rude and thoughtless as that! Your children are beautiful and you are an amazing mother. Your response makes it clear how lucky your children are to have you.

You have to have some thick skin to blog publicly but this DEFINITELY crosses the line. Please know that 99.9999999% of us reading are completely horrified and do not agree.

Carly said...

Wow Helene.People are so rude,and so wrong. I have had a rude comment on my blog before about my childrens nicknames. Since my blog was new,and I am pretty new at blogging it hurt. I am glad you addressed this comment for the whole world to see. I know you know that what this idiot thinks really does not matter. We all love you and Your adoreable kids:)

Living It, Loving It said...

WTF? Some people just say hateful things just because - don't take it personally. Bella is happy, healthy and adorable, and so the person that left that comment can "F" off. I am so upset by some people's ignorance and perhaps jealousy. There is no place for that kind of ignorance - nonetheless towards a child.

I feel your rage and like you said, "You can pick on me...say what you want to say about me...think what you want to think about me...but when you pick on one of MY KIDS, that's where I draw the line." There is not person who does not get that statement.

That ignorant person needs to crawl back under their slimy and scummy rock.

justjoxy said...

You're an amazing mother as this post proves. For you to have taken the time and effort to write all this and post pictures too goes to show the welfare of your children is always uppermost on your mind. Your Bella is beautiful, and perfect in every way. Don't let the comments of one ignorant mean-spirited coward get to you, keep on doing what you do.

Nobodys Nothings said...

what a jerk! they obviously don't have kids, and i try to take the comments of clueless people like that with a grain of salt. good for you for posting back to them, i would have been furious as well. your daughter is healthy and beautiful. i would go so far as to assume that the poster of that comment probably has some sort of eating disorder, because your little girl never appeared over weight to me, and would probably only appear so to someone with serious problems of their own. (((hugs)))

Heather said...

Helene, that is horrible that someone would be so mean!!! I'm so sorry. I am fuming with you : (

varunner said...

Honestly, I've never understood why there are people who waste time being so hateful and judgmental towards others. Must be a miserable existence going around trying to make others feel bad all the time. I'm sorry you got such a jerky comment. You know, though, that Bella is gorgeous, healthy, and absolutely perfect just the way she is. :-)

Jennifer said...

Get em girl! What a bitch of a person to come in here talking like that. I hate people like that! Bella is very beautiful. My cousin was just like her when she was little. I dont member when she hit her growth spurts but that girl shot up and became a bean pole. A beautiful, bean pole that other people envied for her body. Kids sometimes need the extra weight. It seems to me that when a child has a lil extra they usually shoot up like that. Without that extra weight they would become mal nourished. God knows what he is doing and how to make each of our bodys work and slightly different for each of us. Bella is not Fat. SHe is not like a michlin kid or nothing. Shes just got what would be considered baby weight. It goes away with the growth spurts you idiots! Screw off.

Simply Complex said...

Right on momma! Eloquently put, in my opinion. And before I continue, I will say that Bella is beautiful.

It is amazing what kids pay attention to... when I was little my mom used to casually talk about her weight and take dexatrim occasionally, and guess what- I had a couple of 'problems' with my weight until my early twenties. Luckily I didn't need counseling or therapy and was able to get a handle on it myself, but kids pick up on everything. I should know. I often think the best thing to do is what you are doing- feed the family good food, but for God's sake, don't talk about it all of the time.

Marianne said...

I just wrote the longest friggen comment and lost it... But it was good, so hopefully I get it right again.

Aw hell naw. Nobody picks on Bella. Not precious, adorable, sweet, happiest kid I have ever seen, Bella.

Seriously?

My guess... "BFF" has struggled with his/her weight for his/her entire life. And, as a result, clearly has deep-seeded emotional issues.

And because they have no issues with picking on a child, they clearly also suffer from mental issues.

First of all, I had never even noticed Bella's arm (so sorry for what you all went through. I'm so glad the issue has been resolved.), so how long must one inspect the pictures from yesterday to notice anything different? A creepy amount of time, if you ask me.

Secondly, I had baby fat at that age, too. And guess what? It melts away at puberty (assuming it is baby fat and not poor eating habits-- which obviously isn't the case here). Any person with half a brain knows that.

And even if she does carry around a few extra pounds for the rest of her life, who the hell cares?!?! She will always be beautiful, no matter what.

And if she ever doubts that for a second, I will be first in line to reassure her.

This seriously brought tears to my eyes. How could anyone pick on a child in such a vicious manner?

If it happens again, I will gladly bitch slap someone for you. And yes, I'm totally serious.

Think I've grown fond of you and your kids? Eh, maybe just a little bit ;)

Love ya, girl!

Marianne

Eva Gallant said...

Mega-jerk is the term that comes to mind! And Bella is beautiful!

Twins Squared said...

You go Helene!! What a horrible person to say something like that! I can tell you what - it wouldn't matter what I looked like - I would rather have you for a mom than her any day. And I thought the same thing about the bagel - I think that's a great breakfast! Geessh!!

As for the humangeoma, I had no idea she had been through that (not that I'd ever noticed that on her arm before). My niece who's nearly 8 had 1 on her forehead that never got more than about quarter size that went away by 2 yrs old. Then another on her arm that is still going away but it probably only got about 1 1/2 inches big and never had any problems. I didn't know how bad they could get until a few years ago I saw a program on TV and I couldn't believe how horrible they could get. So sorry you went through that with her. I can only imagine how stressful all that was and how hard to see your baby go through all that. What a great girl! We love her!

And hopefully you can take some deep breaths and forget about this stupid person.

Valerie said...

What???!!! I am appalled at this commenter's behavior? What is it about blogging that gives people the notion that they can say anything they want to...and not consider that their comments are hurtful to others?

And poor, Bella...I had no idea what she went through, but it sounds like she doesn't need my pity! She seems to be handling the situation with dignity and grace.

And for the record...in all the times I have visited your blog and looked at that beautiful header...I never once noticed ANYONE'S thighs! I agree with all the previous commenters...that woman (b/c you know it's gotta be a female that was so shallow) has some serious mental-health issues.

Now that you've vented, let it go, Girlfriend! She doesn't deserve anymore of your time!!!

Val

Sharyn said...

Wow, Helene. This is an incredible story. I admire your family's courage and resilience.

On behalf of "BFF", who I suspect will not have the intelligence or backbone to do so on his or her own behalf, I'd like to offer this abject apology:

Dear Helene: Please excuse my ignorance and insensitivity. I am terribly sorry for the pain I have brought on you and your family. Sincerely, "BFF".

Savvy Little Women - Kate said...

Well said, friend! So glad you addressed and and are letting it go. How dare someone pick on a sweet little love like that. She is a beauty!

singedwingangel said...

OH see that is just wrong.. seriously wrong. Your children are BEAUTIFUL and no moron on the internet has a right to be so rude and hateful. WTH is wrong with people??
My advice to BFF who I am sure won't reply on THIS post cause they already know their tail is in a sling from a room full of mama bears is: Grow up , getyour self righteous head out of your nether regions and deal with YOUR issues. ONly someone with a lot of self hate and loathing would pick on an innocent child and do so based off one post without and background knowledge of anything about the child.. See if Bella chooses to do repair on her arm that is on Bella, there are surgeries for scars and other such things but as Ron White said , " STUPID is FOREVER" and I would say you fall nicely into that category..

Marianne said...

Oh, maybe BFF is anorexic and angry that the kids get to eat such yummy, yummy food while she eats 1 single grape per day and BFF doesn't really mean "Best Friend Forever," but rather "Begging For Food"!!!! Yea, that's it! She's just jealous!

Marianne said...

And yes, that's me. Sorry, on a different computer and signed in on the wrong email account. But there aren't two Marianne's attacking your wall. Just me, like always :)

MamaOtwins+1 said...

I'm so glad you posted this Helene! You are a strong amazing woman and mom and Bella is a beautiful girl. I've never looked at your pictures and thought anything other than that they are happy healthy kids!
BFF needs to Back OFF - being anon only means you have something to hide.

Nezzy said...

The very rude and insensitive commenter obviously has some issues of their own and are probably very jealous of you and your beautiful children.

It's a shame, you should not have to defend yourself or your precious babes to someone who feels the need to put down a child to lift themselves up.

This chick can feel in each and every post the love and dedication you have for your children and see how happy they are by the sparkle in their eyes and their happy little faces. I've said it before and I'll say it again, your children are blessed to call you Mama!

Have a blessed day without any 'mean' girls! :o)

ks said...

Good for you! I would be livid as well. I can't believe all Bella has gone through. She's just an incredible little girl. I've never seen anything but a happy healthy family in all your pictures.

BFF needs to take a good look at themselves in the mirror. Figure out what it is about themselves that makes them so unhappy!

Brooke said...

(((((helene & bella)))))))

what an ass. i'm pissed off almost to the point of tears. mostly because my princess is in a similar situation. she's on the higher end of the weight spectrum (but certainly not obese) but she's active an eats well. someone who is supposed to love her comments all the time on how overweight she is. so trust me, i know how you feel.

THIS is the reason young women today have to worry about eating disorders. pricks like this who think they can swoop in and judge someone they don't even know.

Robin said...

Helene..I am so disgusted at the remark and the anonymity that they used to hide..I would love to dissect this persons life and see what we come up with...I am speechless and that never happens....Poor little Bella and her arm..Ohh that must have been hard to go through..Thank God it turned out fine..and she is just GORGEOUS as are the rest of your family..!

This Daddy said...

Helene, you did alot better than I would have. If this person has the nerve to come back and see this,

Hey person, BFF....Kiss a long fat one.

People have nothing better to do than leave f-ed up comments on someones blog.

Bff, go into your bathroom and look in the mirror and punch yourself in the face.

Helene, it seems you and Tim do a great job. Just remember some people love to drink the Hateraide

Tell Tim to bust a cap in BFF arse.

I vented and I am done. Thanks

Side by Side said...

Go Mama Bear Go!

The nerve of some people to drop a bomb and then walk away. Unbelievable!

Thanks for sharing your story with us.

Jayme said...

I've never looked at your pics and once thought Bella looked anything but healthy.

As for the hemangioma, I never knew they could do that! My oldest had one on his shoulder- the largest it got was about the size of a quarter- and it was gone by the time he was 5. Ryan has one on the back of his head.

When I went to Bloggy Boot Camp, we were discussing comments like this- and it was said that you know you've made it as a blogger when you get one. So congrats!

Erin said...

Helene,

Don't be upset that it got under your skin, it would've affected me the same way, especially since our Izzy has a hemangioma. Hers is at the base of her spine and we are lucky it has mostly disappeared over the years and did not require surgery.

How dare this person? I am INCENSED. I want you to know your daughter is beautiful and this person is just SICK. I'm glad you wrote this post and let it all out. Good for you for standing up for yourself and for Bella. She is an adorable, normal kiddo and this person is just a NUT JOB!!!!

MamaHen Em said...

Wow. I am stunned that anyone would be so hurtful and rude. Bella is a beautiful little girl and from all my hanging out over here, I think you do an amazing job with your kids. I have never, ever noticed anything on Bella's arm and my heart hurt to see those pictures and think about all you have been through with your precious, lovely children. I think you must posses a strength that I probably will never have, to go through the trials that you have faced and still be able to write candidly and humorously and share a slice of your life with us. YOU are amazing and your kids are amazing and whoever BFF is, they are just wrong about everything.

Creative Junkie said...

Helene, I am so sorry that this happened. Blogging opens you up so the worst of the worst, such as that kind of comment. I am so pained that you felt compelled to dedicate an entire blog post to defend your child, although I totally get why you did it, but I fear that it will just nudge this asshole on and you'll get more nasty comments from him/her in response. People can be such hateful beings. It is one of the things I hate about blogging - hiding behind anonymity to spew hatred.

Your daughter is beautiful.

Crazy family of 5 said...

One of the worst things to do, is to pick on a child. It doesn't matter what we see, we need to hear how a child feels about their self. Most children will tell you that they love how they look, feel and are. My youngest is also in the high percent tile. There are no problems with her, as I see none with Bella! I never noticed Bella's arm and probably wouldn't have either. People need to stop looking at the outer layer and focus on the beauty inside!

Sorry for the ignorant people in the world! I hope this person gets it back in return.

Leslie and James said...

Are you kidding me???...you don't know me, but i always read your blog, and i love it! ALL of your children are perfect and beautiful! Sweet Bella is perfect just the way she is. I agree that you reacted very well to that comment, i don't think I could have been so calm and polite about it! Too bad some people feel like they need to make judgements and assumtions about other people's children when they know nothing- especially when miss bella is far from obese in the first place!

Shelby said...

WHAT.A.JACKASS! Seriously! If you wanted anyones opinion on anything I'm sure you'd have asked for it. Our blogs aren't here for people to state their ignorant opinions. It goes back to the age old "if you don't have anything nice to say"... you know the rest. Well, at least MOST of us know the rest... Sounds to me like BFF needs to get a hobby. I'm sorry that you had to deal with that. Chin up girl! You're a great mom and your kids are happy. What more could you ask for?!

Alisha said...

Wow, that person is obviously jealous and insecure. I hope they feel really awful picking on a poor child!

S Club Mama said...

Bella is NOT fat! Not every kid is on the low end of the weight/height spectrum. I have kids on both ends of the spectrum but I do not by any means think Tristan is fat. People can seriously take something innocent like a review and twist it and pictures around to...what? make you feel bad? for what purpose? obviously this person has no brains or balls bc I don't see a new comment from them.

Annie said...

Well said, Helene!!! Your kids are precious and a bless.

Some people are ignorant and said the most stupid things.

kerrycharacters said...

I happened to come across your blog whilst looking for baby plates. I am going to chime in here and commend you on your immense courage and restraint in dealing with this totally cruel and inappropriate comment. You are rightly proud of your beautiful, healthy children AND you are raising a daughter with a robust body image. This is bourne out by the fact that she values her body for what it is and so she should. If BF is reading this I hope that for her own sake (and God forbid - her children's if she has them), she seeks professional help. I will be following your impressive blog.

kerrycharacters said...

I happened to come across your blog whilst looking for baby plates. I am going to chime in here and commend you on your immense courage and restraint in dealing with this totally cruel and inappropriate comment. You are rightly proud of your beautiful, healthy children AND you are raising a daughter with a robust body image. This is bourne out by the fact that she values her body for what it is and so she should. If BF is reading this I hope that for her own sake (and God forbid - her children's if she has them), she seeks professional help. I will be following your impressive blog.

Big Momma said...

This is just another incident of a stupid person who doesn't like him/herself trying to bring down someone else to feel better. I am so sorry that you were the object of someone else's misguided scorn. I'm a relatively new follower of yours so I don't know much about you, but from what I've read you do a great job raising healthy and happy kids. I cannot even begin to fathom the emotional struggles you and your family must have gone through with Bella's hemangioma and I admire your strength.

Also, I can safely say that Bella looks perfectly healthy for a 5 year old. I was overweight as a child (though, looking back at photos it doesn't seem that bad...) and I truly believe that my mother's obsession with my weight is what has caused me to be stuck in an endless and unsuccessful binge and diet spiral. If your kids are eating healthfully and exercising, they'll be healthy! I hope that we as a society can move away from the false mentality of skinny=healthy because that's simply not the case for some people.

Keep up the good work! --Alex :)

Six Feet Under Blog said...

Oh, I didnt know she had been through that-or that that could happen to someone! That horrible person to say what they did, even if that wasn't the case. People need to grow up. Sometimes, I think the blogging world is high school all over again.

Ali @ Mommie Life said...

People's ignorance and insensitivity blow me away sometimes! Where do they get off??? My husband was the definition of fat as a kid. I love looking at his old pictures!! He ate nothing but french fries and ketchup and he is just fine now. He is actually on the skinny side.
Kids should be allowed to be kids. They shouldn't be worrying about their physical appearance!! Your little girl is absolutely adorable and has the sweetest smile!! I had no idea that she had to go through such struggles as a baby! My heart goes out to her for being so brave!!
I hope the person that wrote that comment crawls into a whole and is utterly embarrassed for their ignorant comment! Way to stand up for your girl, I would have too!!

The Mother said...

Gheezsh. Some people have some nerve, don't they?

We live in a Zoo! said...

Way to defend your baby girl. I think you are lovely and your children are adorable. I'm so sorry you had to suffer such a horrible comment.

"Cottage By The Sea" said...

It makes me sick and angry that there are people who dare to say such hurtful and disgusting and disrespectful things to someone on their blog and ESPECIALLY about their child. Your little girl is an absolute cherub. It delights me when you post pictures of your little ones with their big smiles. Don't let one ignoramus get you down. He/she must be very damaged inside to be that insensitive. Carry on and fight for your kids whenever you have to. You're a great mommy doing what you need to do. And to whomever said those ridiculously mean and hurtful things, "GET A LIFE!"

Tracy said...

You go girl.

I felt indignent myself as I read that insensitive comment. All children grow at different rates, and there are times when they may appear a little more pudgy (not that Bella does!!!!) while their height catches up.

Personally, I've been waiting for MY height to catch up with my weight for years, but I might have to let that one go.

Anyway, kudos to you for setting this reader straight. Your children are gorgeous and perfect, just like their mother.

*LLUVIA* said...

Oh my God! This made me tear up!! I just saw the review today and DID NOT think to look at her arms!! Your children are precious and Bella is PERFECT!!

I CANNOT believe there are people out there that SUPERFICIAL and shallow!!

Do not be upset because this bothered you. I would have been too, if it was my daughter!!! uuurrrghhhh!!

I'm so angry!

Dear anonymous, with an open ID....what's your name???

Jessica said...

Hi Helene. I'm sorry that you had to go through dealing with the comment that was left on your blog. How insensitive can people be? First- your daughter is just adorable. Second- if someone has a different opinion and must resort to insults... don't post a comment. Geez!

How lucky your kids are that you're a Mama Bear.

Katie said...

You know what I think is heroic and something you should be extra proud of? The fact that Bella isn't ashamed by her scar tissue and doesn't want to change that. Whatever you did to instill that fantastic sense of self-esteem in her will last her through the tween year, teen years and into adulthood. Bravo to you, you good momma, you!

Alyssa said...

I am glad your daughter is doing well now. I know that must have been scary to go through! All I can say to you is some people are just IDIOTS...I know it is easier to say than do but don't let this person rent anymore space in your head. You know the truth, we know the truth and most important God knows the truth. End of story!

LucidLilith said...

Helene, WHY OH WHY did you even bother to dignify that ignoramous with an answer?

Megan said...

WTF is WRONG with people???????? Seriously, I can't believe somebody would say something like that in a blog comment about a CHILD. A child who is perfectly beautiful and in no way overweight. GOD. I'm seriously irate on your behalf.

I had no idea Bella went through all that with her arm. Poor, poor little baby - I can't even imagine how much it must have hurt and how helpless you must have felt.

Mighty M said...

Sorry you got that nasty comment - so rude. All of your kids are beautiful!

My sister's 4 month old has a huge hemangioma on her chest. It's really big, but otherwise looks just like the one in your picture. It hasn't ulcerated yet. They are hoping it goes away, as it seems to have finally stopped growing.

Don't let that one comment get you down, but I totally get it - I would be SO ANGRY if someone picked on one of my kids.

The Martinez Family said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rebecca said...

What is wrong with people? I think she's perfect and had no idea that could even happen to a child. I'm glad you had your say...you needed it.

.::Tuttie::. said...

POOR BABY!

I had an episode where we spend 4 days in the hospital with my son fighting for his life at 3 months old. Don't pay that idiot any mind and am sorry you had to get such a nasty commentator.

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Pardon my language, but Holy Shit what a bitch that person was!!

Helene, I will TAKE them DOWN for you!!

Gosh, I am so sorry that someone made you feel like this. You are a fantastic mom and this post was fantastic as well.

Bella is beautiful and has more character and beauty than your new BFF.

Just take comfort that this person who is obviously hiding has absolutely no self esteem if they take pleasure in being mean to others. This person must have a very sad, sad life.

BIG GIANT HUGS TO YOU!!!!!!

Sadia said...

OH MY GOD. OH MY FUCKING GOD. Yes, I never swear. Right now must be "never".

What the hell!? Oh, I've never wanted to do violence before, but now I get it.

Jerk.

I've seen obese toddlers. Your daughter is not one.

Ugh.

CuteCupcakesAllTheTime said...

All I have to say is what punk! Tell them to shove it. Your daughter is beautiful. You're a good mommy.
I found you through TMC and I am no a follower of your blog.

Christine said...

I am in shock and tears that someone could be so rude and insensitive. Bella is a beautiful little girl and as she gets taller, she'll lose the 'baby fat' that this person was so nasty about. Everyone develops differently. We're ok with it for how babies and children hit their milestones so why can't we be ok with it when it comes to how the children grow and develop physically?

In all the posts I have read and the photos I've seen, I have never even noticed the scars on Bella's arm. I was stunned to see the photos of her hemangioma. My son Nic had an eraser sized one on his cheek as a toddler. I can't imagine the stress and worry you went through as Bella suffered.

Many blessings to you and your family. Keep up the amazing job you do as the fabulous Mom to those angels.

The Lane Family said...

Helene, all I can say is how rude, inappropriate and just awful this person is. I think your children look great, happy and well cared for and people like that need to keep their rude and unsolicited opinions to themselves.

I never knew about her hemangioma, what a terrible thing for a baby and the mom. What a blessing they were able to remove it even if it did leave a scar.

My husband had one on his face and in his mouth when he was born. After multiple surgeries he still has scars and one quite visible on his face.

I think you are an amazing mom with amazing kids!!!!

Menopausal New Mom said...

Helene, I'm so sorry that this happened on your blog. I'm like you, I can take the heat, but back off your negative comments about my family

I don't publish their photos to protect their privacy although I've been thinking about publishing a photo of my daughter when she turned one now that her 4th birthday is coming up. Your post today has pretty much made up my mind to keep her photos off (no she's not overweight, perfectly normal just like your beautiful little girl)

How rude to leave you feeling that you need to justify your child's appearance and reveal personal medical information.

I'm so sorry this happened. I think you daughter is a beautiful and healthy looking little girl. And the best part, she looks happy! Well done!

Mrs Montoya said...

Oh.My.God. I will not even justify what this person said about your daughter by highlighting any piece of it. There are three things I believe. (1) What goes around comes around and BFF will get theirs.
(2) To ever point out any flaw in a child to their parent is just asking for the wrath. Clearly not an intelligent person and definitely not a parent.
(3) Your kids are very lucky to have you. I admire you and life you up for your strength and moxy. Good for you, Helene!

Much Love to sweet Bella.

Shell said...

I really hope that anonymous commenter comes back and sees this and realizes what a total ass he/she is. Probably not- because people like that are just haters. They don't care about facts, just trying to put people down.

Bravo to you for taking a stand!

Sierra said...

Way to go for grabbing that bull by the horns!
Your daughter is a trooper and a lucky girl to have you in her corner.

MrsM said...

That hemangioma looks terribly painful, and good for Bella for not letting it bother her! No two people look exactly alike, but it's being lovely on the inside that matters most...obviously you and Bella are all over that (unlike BFF).

I know how hard it is when people say things about your kids like that-we get a lot of crap about how skinny our kids are, especially from my inlaws, even though they all eat like horses-good for you for speaking up mama! ((hugs))

Low Expectations said...

Wow.. I mean, just wow... I can't believe someone has the time to do this kind of crap. I would have been furious too, actually I am furious for you.

Good for you for posting this.

Kim said...

The irony is that the commenter probably had to set down the Milky Way bar he was holding in one hand and wipe off the Cheetoh dust from the fingers on his other hand before typing.

Bananas aren't just good for snacking; they fit nicely in a troll's ear.

AngieB said...

People like "BFF" are a big part of the reason girls and young women in our culture have so many problems with body image. Bella is a beautiful, healthy girl and BFF's comments ENRAGE me.

Kristen said...

I found your blog while reading a friends blog. She is a mother of twins. She reads your blog and was furious about the post left by that horrible coward of a human being. What a cute family you have! Your daughter is beautiful. Keep up the great mothering. We need more women like you raising daughters. I love how courageous she was during her medical problems. What a nightmare for her. Please know I will continue to read your blog about your sweet family! Keep it up!!!

Liz @ Sugarplum Creations said...

Oh Helene, I am so sorry that you've had to deal with this. I cannot believe the nerve of people. All of your children are beautiful, and look absolutely healthy. BFF must be one very sad and miserable individual to feel the need to pick on a child. Please, please do not spend another second on this. Hugs ♥

Kristi said...

Wow, wow, wow, and wow. Good for you for sticking up for your daughter and shame on that ugly person for even feeling the need to say something so awful. Your children are beautiful and I'm sure many people have said this to you today in these comments. Don't let one person bother you when you have so much support from 100's of others. I think BFF is probably eating his/her words by now. The nerve seriously. You are an awesome Mama.

shortmama said...

What an awful thing to say. You are right...people like that is exactly why young girls starve themselves and binge and purge. Bella is beautiful as she is....she is healthy and joyful and in no way fat. I love her positive outlook on her scarring!

CaneWife said...

What a royal piece of poo. Seriously.

Bella is beautiful. How anyone can make nasty comments about such a lovely, HEALTHY child is beyond me.

I truly hope that "BFF" reads your response and these comments and is ashamed of himself (or herself) for writing such a digusting comment.

CJ Sime said...

This post brought me out of lurking.

I love your blog. I am impressed by the finesse and ability you tackle motherhood.

You are doing a great job and I am happy you were able to stand up for yourself. I hope this experience doesn't discourage you from blogging.

WhisperingWriter said...

What? I'd have been livid. That is just awful. I mean, we ask that our children have manners...so why don't adults have them too?

Deb said...

I am furious for you, Helene. Just because you're anonymous, doesn't mean you shouldn't use your manners. Shame on "BFF" and his/her comments. What horrible things to say about any child--let alone your sweet girl.

This is just another person seeking attention, and they got it. If s/he truly is ignorant of the rudeness of these comments, than what a miserable, overly-judgemental, shrewish way of life s/he must lead. S/he obviuosly wouldn't be anyone's BFF.

RainSplats said...

I can't believe that comment! I'm happy today's post has so many comments. YOu're a good mom - I love reading your blog.

I'm sorry some anon was so rude. People really shouldn't post when they're PMS'ing.

Jen said...

Oh my sweet friend, Bella is a beautiful girl. We know that and you know that. This person is just bitter b/c their children are probably ugly or something. You are right, don't give it any more thought and look at it this way. They say that once you get a 'hater comment' then you have finally made it in the blogging world. ;)

Mommy Fashionista said...

Your daughter is perfect and adorable and you didn't need to justify yourself to this ignorant person. I understand I would have wanted to set them straight, too. Well said. Your kids have a great mom! I hope "BFF" gets a life.

Heather B said...

Amazing that someone could look at all of those adorable pictures yesterday and end up focusing on Bella's arms! I personally noticed all of the lovely smiles your kids had while using the utensils! They are all beautiful, by the way:)

People need to stop judging others. My youngest son always looks "chunky" just before he goes through a growth spurt. My oldest looks like a malnurished child after each growth spurt. Yet, both are very healthy children - so says the great pediatrician!

Keep on being the great mom that you are. Your kids will thank you for it in the future!

Lana@The Kids Did WHAT?! said...

Uhg. What a douche bag. Sorry you had to experience that.

mama of 4 said...

Oh mama :(
(((((((((hugs to you and Bella)))))))))
I'm so sorry that some people are so stupid rude and mean hearted :(
Your children are all beautiful!

Rhaven said...

I am baffled that anyone could even possibly think for one microsecond your daughter is anything but perfect. And I am beyond pissed on your behalf that someone was callous and arrogant enough to think they had the "complete picture" and felt the need to make such nasty comments about an innocent child. Whoever they are I hope that they see this post and the following comments and realize how pathetic they truly are, to write something so blatantly ignorant and spiteful. To add on top of that the cowardice in which they went through in order to post it anon? Shame on you BFF. Didn't your mother teach you manners?

Good for you for standing up for your daughter and rightfully so. She is beautiful, and I am absolutely in awe of her spirit and love of life when I read your blogs. Rest easy, Mama Bear. We all got your back.

Jenna said...

Oh wow I am just shocked. I can't believe how rude and hateful people can be sometimes. Bella is a beautiful little girl with a wonderful mommy. Please don't let this person (troll) bring you down one more second. I know its easy said than done.

KK said...

Ignore the haters, they are all the same blah, blah, blah type people. Your daughter is gorgeous and amazing!

Jenny said...

People are so rude! Bella is absolutely adorable! I didn't notice anything about her arms. How scary that must have been for her to have those ulcerations on her arms. I remember when I was pregnant, I watched a show on Discovery or something about Hemangiomas. I was freaking out because they were saying there were more common in blonde hair, blue eyed girls and more common on the face.

My cousin was born with one on the side of her face, but it didn't get bigger than a nickel size and never ulcerated. I was too young to know if she had surgery or what, but she has no sign of it now.

Abby has a tiny red dot on her chin that is a hemangioma. Luckily, it has stayed the size of a pinhead.

I am so glad that you all were able to find something to help Bella's arm. The pain she went through must have been sickening to you both.

In all of the posts you've written the only thing I've noticed about Bella is what a fun girl she is! I bet her and Abby would have so much fun together!

Deana said...

I cannot believe someone would say such horrible things about Bella! she is BEAUTIFUL! ((((HUGS)))))

CodyAnne. said...

Well, I can't say anything that hasn't already been said, but WOW. Go get 'em Helene!

Elizabeth said...

Oh how weak and cowardly some people are.
I really hope you finished this post and never give the rude idiot another thought!
Your little girl is just GORGEOUS and you are a great Mum.
My little girl had a haemangioma growing on her nose when she was born but we were very lucky and steroids shrunk and retarded its growth.
And by the way my kids eat heaps of junk food (no I am not that proud of the fact) so I am beyond impressed with Bella's eating habits.

Robin said...

Oh, no he/she did not... that was my first reaction. I wish I could say I was shocked, but I am not. I still remain amazed at how easily people use electronic communications to cowardly attack others. I have also learned the internet attracts the lowest common denominator of society. I understand your rage and am right there with you. Nothing like a Mama Bear protecting her cubs. It leads me to wonder why this person spends anytime reading your blog? It's very obvious your blogging is devoid of ugliness and rage and centers around your family. Do you have a green with envy cyber stalker? By the way, Bella has a beautiful badge of honor and courage. From one Mama Bear to another, go sista!

~Robin

debi9kids said...

My God! Some people. How horrible of that person to leave the comment, even before knowing about bella's past history. How dare anyone question her weight!

I am beyond thrilled with the way you addressed this. I have often wondered whether or not a crappy comment should be addresses, but must say, this one was necessary and you did it while remaining dignified. Good for you! No wonder Bella is such a wonderful little girl!

heathermommie said...

OMG! I just have to leave a comment here! My sister, Jenny, just emailed this post to me-she was shocked & outraged. I have been to your blog on several occasions when my sister emails me & says she LOL'ed at your post or that you had a cool idea. Never has it EVER crossed my mind that your little girl looked heavy! Also, I want to thank you for including specific doctors' names in your post. Maybe that could be the only good thing that comes of this- another parent could learn about hemangiomas. My 1 year old was born with a faint pink spot about 2 inches above his hip. It grew into a hemangioma, but thankfully never bled ( I never put him in 2 piece outfits because I was afraid the waistband would make it bleed) and started reducing in size as he approached his first b-day. I'm rambling but I wanted you to know your daughter is beautiful in yet another person's eyes.

Mercy said...

That thing on her arm looked so painful. Thank God it's healed now and she doesn't have to suffer with it any more.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

This is the kindest, classiest, most eloquent F*** You post I've ever read. Bravo to you. I've had only one comment like that and it was, of course, from "anonymous" and it was directed at ME, claiming I feed my kids junk. People like that are just tiny cowards.
xoxoxo to you and Bella.

Missy (Two Little Monkeys) said...

Helene, I applaud you for your response! You handled it so well.
(I unfortunately have had to deal with an anon comment and I am sad to say that my rage spewed out onto my blog but I then later deleted)
Bella is a beautiful young girl with a beautiful personality. My daughters both have hemangiomas and they both say that is where the angel kissed them too!

I applaud you Helene. You rock! Do not give "this person's" ignorance & stupidity another thought.

Leigh said...

Oh, I like you so very much! What grace and dignity :)

Helene, I saw your comment on Sadia's blog so came over to see what it was all about and...

my mouth is literally hanging open. I am SHOCKED at the rudeness of that comment. SHOCKED!

Your daughter is beautiful (I had no idea that those conditions even existed) and is full of spunk (just like I like them) and already a strong, sensible young lady.

Also, I think I came to visit here once upon a time as we also went through IVF (two of them) to conceive our twins.

I'm going to follow so I can get your tips because boy oh boy, if you have 2 sets, then you have this thing sorted LOL

Eve said...

1 person says something horrible and 110 people respond with support for you and your beautiful little girl. I love this community!

I'm not going to say don't let them get to you because I would be livid for daaaaays.

Take comfort in the face that when they do show their face again there will be a whole mass of people waiting to hold them down for you. x

LisaDay said...

Excellent blog post. I am sorry you had to write it. People are unbelievably cruel and judgmental. And then to hide behind a fake name.

Before reading the post, I was going to tell you what a lovely family you have. I can see it's even more lovely than just appearance.

LisaDay

Mama Michie (aka Michaela) said...

Good for you for standing up for your child like that!! You have a beautiful family and I can't believe that someone would come and write a thing like they did! I would have been fuming too.

Nielsen Family said...

Good for you for being a protective mom. I think you children are beautiful outside in.

D said...

It takes real courage to hide who you are and pick on a five year old! I mean seriously. If you're going to take issue with some ones parenting at least have the courage to own the words you're using and know what you're talking about. There is NOTHING,not a blasted thing, wrong with Bella's weight. She looks like a perfectly healthy,lovely child to me. Besides, there's a vast difference between the way children eat and the way adults eat. Children know enough to STOP when they are full whereas adults,we're the ones,who can't. The person who was cowardly enough to basically imply a five year old is fat probably weighs 400 pounds and doesn't have enough courage to actually sign their name to the garbage he or she is spewing.

Kristen said...

I am so sorry that someone was so hurtful like that. Totally uncalled for, downright assuming and MEAN. Your daughter is beautiful.

My Book Barn said...

How awful! I would have wanted to come through the computer & smack the person! Probably a smart thing they did by hiding their identity. Looks like they may have had a whole hoard of people sending "shame on you's". Don't let this ignorant person get you down! You're daughter is beautiful & honestly, to me...she doesn't look overweight at all! She looks like a healthy child! By the way...Dropping by from SITS!
~Angela

The Martinez Family said...

I'm glad it was okay with you that I sent my friends over to your blog. You are a FABULOUS mom! Anyone can see that when reading your blog. I told my husband about "BFF" yesterday and he DIDN'T BELIEVE me at first. It was really hard for him to believe that anyone would be so cruel about a child. So there you go-and I could probably name 20 other people who would feel the same way. I Hope you have a GREAT DAY today! Don't let "BFF" get you down. I bet he/she feels like a complete idiot now. YOU ARE FABULOUS:)

IASoupMama said...

Hi, I'm a new follower from Theta Mom Club and can't believe that someone posted something that nasty about your child. I apologize on behalf of all offended parents. Your daughter suffered bravely through a terrible health ordeal -- she is a little hero.

Shari@Tales from the Sippy Cup said...

I'm always shocked at what some people will go out of their way to say when they don't know you, they don't know your circumstances and they clearly aren't very educated.

I'm all for healthy dialog. Not every comment has to agree with me or my view, but to attack your children is just plain disgusting.

On the upside (if there could be one), When these ignorant people post comments like this, it fuels dialog that usually ends up bringing attention to very important issues. I'm positive that the information you shared will help other parents going through the same things. It's unfortunate however that you had to go through this. Your family is beautiful!

Ashley Rae said...

119 comments? Wow. I'm one of Desiree's friends, and she'd posted about this on her blog. I honestly can't believe that someone would write such a thing. Reading your blog definitely brought tears to my eyes. Having a 5 year old daughter, myself, I can't even imagine how much it would rip my heart out knowing people are judging her that way.

I'm sorry, but I hope that bastard (excuse me) reads this and feels completely terrible for what he/she did. That is just completely uncalled for. As you can see, you have lots of support- from people who've never even met you. Your daughter is beautiful. :)

Ms Bibi said...

OMG, what an insensitive and arrogant coward. Whoever they are they should come out in the open not hide behind fake ID.

I am so furious. You have 4 beautiful children and there is nothing wrong with either of them. You are a great mom and your kids are lucky to have you. I just wish this person who wrote that isn't a parent...that would be terrible.

I feel your anger. I had a person comment on my site when I wrote about my son being type 1 diabetic to let me know that I could have prevented it by feeding him properly....

Wendy said...

I am so sorry that someone felt that it was appropriate for them to comment on something as trivial as a child's weight. Good grief. Your children are beautiful, healthy, and apparently loving towards one another and that is all that matters.

Good for you for fighting for your kids! I would have done the same thing!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

I am so sorry you had to deal with that. People can be cruel. What an amazing story to share from an amazing mother to an amazing, perfect little girl.

Gisela said...

I originally read this post yesterday, but was so infuriated that I thought I best not respond at that time. I do NOT understand why anyone would make such comments and pass judgment like that. Never once would I even think Bella to be anything but a healthy child...then again, I have a son who has not been on the growth charts since he was 15 months old. Children come in all different shapes and sizes, and they are all beautiful! I hope you don't have to deal with the inconsiderate person who left that comment.

Oh, and BTW...I just happened to see that we have a mutual friend on FB (Tori)- I saw your happy birthday comment to her when I was leaving mine. Small world!

Myne Whitman said...

Your daughter looks lovely, happy and confident in the picture. Shame on the adult who could only see imperfections in their effort to get back at you. SMH.

Hear Mum Roar said...

Oh, that would really hurt ((HUG)) I was aghast! Bagels are fine! Obviously this 'person' is misinformed about this subject and should keep their mouths SHUT.

Ditto for the fact that they don't know your child, about what she's been through, and how brave she is and undeserving of such rudeness. So again I repeat: they should just shut their mouths.

cindi said...

An intellgent, well-written response fom Mama Bear. I applaud you for being as tactful as you were. I would hate to see the comments this person would leave on my blog if I posted pictures of my grand daughter's pudgy thighs. We aren't worried a bit and neither is the doctor. She takes after her momma, and oma and we know those thighs are going to get a workout once she starts walking. Bella is beautiful!

cindi said...

An intellgent, well-written response fom Mama Bear. I applaud you for being as tactful as you were. I would hate to see the comments this person would leave on my blog if I posted pictures of my grand daughter's pudgy thighs. We aren't worried a bit and neither is the doctor. She takes after her momma, and oma and we know those thighs are going to get a workout once she starts walking. Bella is beautiful!

cindi said...

An intellgent, well-written response fom Mama Bear. I applaud you for being as tactful as you were. I would hate to see the comments this person would leave on my blog if I posted pictures of my grand daughter's pudgy thighs. We aren't worried a bit and neither is the doctor. She takes after her momma, and oma and we know those thighs are going to get a workout once she starts walking. Bella is beautiful!

cindi said...

An intellgent, well-written response fom Mama Bear. I applaud you for being as tactful as you were. I would hate to see the comments this person would leave on my blog if I posted pictures of my grand daughter's pudgy thighs. We aren't worried a bit and neither is the doctor. She takes after her momma, and oma and we know those thighs are going to get a workout once she starts walking. Bella is beautiful!

The Blue Zoo said...

First of all - Your poor baby!! I am so so glad she is OK now.

And secondly that anonymous user obviously has body issues of their own. Cause there is NO WAY a normal person would think that there was anything wrong with your daughter.

Angela said...

Good for you, Helene! I'm so proud of you! And I had no idea what Bella and you went thru! I'm so glad that she is healed up from that! I can't imagine what that was like for you to see your child in pain like that! HugS!!!

Lucie said...

Helene, this is the first time that I have visited your blog. I just wanted to say that you have a beautiful family and look at all of these wonderful, loving, caring bloggers that are supporting you! Wow! That's amazing and wonderful.
The person who wrote those hateful things is unbelievably ignorant!
I don’t want to repeat what everyone else is saying (which I concur with) so I’ll just say these last few things: Your defense of your daughter is admirable. Your children are truly blessed to have you as their mommy. Don’t be discouraged, be encouraged by what you have read in these posts – these are the ones that count :-)
~Lucie

Omotee! said...

this is my first time here and i must say: AM PROUD OF YOU!
you are a great mum and am sure ur kids are proud of you too and above all, God's pleased with u.

am sure "BFF" has read it and will be ashamed of his or herself. lets see how her family turns out since she knows whats best for everyone. only cowards like her dont do well. i pity her kids already, some mother she'll be.

love ur blog, will be here often.

have a great month!

When did I become my Mom said...

I cannot believe someone would read your post and come away with something so ugly. It is a real shame.

Bella is a beautiful girl and there is nothing wrong with her.

I'm proud of her for her strength and character, and of you for standing up for her in the beautiful way that you did.

Now no more tears. Hold your head up high.

xoxo

Samantha said...

Screw 'em, seriously...whoever could say something like that is obviously ignorant beyond all measure. Bella is beautiful, and I saw no signs of obesity in her pictures. She just looks like a healthy child.

bubbleboo said...

Wow, just wow. You're right that they don't deserve bothering with, but at the same time I completely understand your reaction. My son is autistic and has various other limitations. Callous, insensitive and ill-informed comments are a part of daily life, unfortunately, but that doesn't stop them causing a reaction in me.

Your response was measured, eloquent and firm. I applaud you for not lashing out in anger, but taking the time to write this - I'm not sure I could have.

I found you on TMC and I look forward to reading more about you and your beautiful family :)

Christina said...

You don't have to post this comment, but what a fucker. I'm sorry someone said that. I had someone tell me I was a bad Mom, and I only want my kids to sleep all the time, and I'm FAKE.
Don't worry about them!
xoxo
Happy Birthday too!!

Michelle @ Flying Giggles said...

I do not understand how people can hide behind their computer monitor and say such hurtful things. Bella is beautiful - inside and out! I admire her courage and I am so proud of her for finding the beauty in her scar! I hope she continues to wear it proud!

Amy said...

that is just wrong. I am so sorry that happen to you. Hugs.. You are a great parent..

Karen said...

I will NEVER understand what makes anyone think they have the right to judge anyone else or to attack someone's CHILD. Bella's such a sweetheart and a beautiful girl! And I'm glad she's confident and unafraid to be who she is.

It means you've obviously been doing things RIGHT.

melonbelly said...

You have already received so many comments and I am sure I dont have anything new to say that hasnt already been said....

I am speechless. I really am. I keep trying to write things, but words cannot express my concern for BFF and his/her influence on this world. You are a wonderful mom and your lil lady is SO LUCKY to have you!

On another note...I cannot imagine the things she went through at such a young age....wow!

Mommie Daze said...

Oh my word! What is wrong with people? I think there are people who just spend all day leaving rude comments on blogs. I read a story similar to this a few days ago where a mom was blasted on her blog for feeding her children pancakes.

Your daughter looks like a beautiful, normal little girl to me.

Jaynie Martin said...

I sooo hope BFF reads all these comments I am horrified what a stupid idiot! Its people like that, who give our children weight issues i so hope BFF has no children, what a life of hell it would be for them.
As everyone else has said your children are beautiful, strong and healthy ... you have to ignore these ignorant sort of people because their comments are from a limited brain cell, what a sad life they must lead!
Im enraged for you, so can imagine how you feel i would sooo kick their butt and probably strangle them at the same time :/
The thing ive always wanted and made sure my kids got was to be happy and safe and as long as they are that who cares about the idoiots like BFF in this world xxxxx

Krystyn said...

Your daughter is absolutely beautiful.

And, it disgusts me that you even have to go through this and defend her to this a-hole. Seriously. What a disgusting thing for somebody to write.

And, wow, they really know about being a parent, don't they?

I'm sure with a little investigation you could figure out who this person is...and odds are, you will find it is somebody that you've heard from before.

Again, your daughter is beautiful!

Mom to seven... said...

WOW...what a terrible and nasty comment for someone to leave on your comments. I just came across your blog-site today, as it was in a blogger recommendation within my new blog. I have seven children 5 and under (4yo twins, 3 yo, 2yo, 4 month old triplets) and enjoy reading about others experiences as it makes me feel like there are ppl out there that understand what we go through with lots of kids! However I was so disappointed to have to read a post where someone has been so nasty. I think you are so right when you say it is impossible as a mother to not let comments like these get under our skin as we are natuarl born protectors of our children and as being part of the animal kingdom, you mess with my cub, you mess with me so to speak! Good for you for writing this post in response and I really hope this cowardly person comes back and reads it and feels entirely ashamed of themselves.
The one thing you can take comfort in besides the fact that you know your daughter is beautiful both inside and out, is that people like this who left this comment often do so because their self esteem and confidence is so low that they need to put other people down in order to boost themselves up. I have seen it too many times before, so just keep reminding yourself of that, and keep loving your gorgeous daughter the way she is. From someone who has struggled with weight her whole life (and to be honest looking at the photos I have seen of your daughter, she is absolutely fine) I know how it feels to have people like "BFF" target you because they are so nasty, but as I said, if there is one thing I have learned it is that I have more confidence and happiness than they will ever have, and I hope that continues to be the case for you and Bella.

Sharlene said...

Bella is a beautiful, bright, and freaking hilarious little girl and anyone who doesn't see that is blind. Or jealous. It makes me sick that people can pick on children like that. Once we had to delete a comment off of Tuesday's mom's blog because someone said they were glad Tuesday died and not Piper because Piper is the prettier one. Seriously. People are so incredibly screwed up. The world is full of evil but it sounds like you are doing an amazing job at raising your daughter to have confidence and awareness about the great person she is. You are doing a wonderful job Helene and don'tlet some cowardly anonymous person ever let you question that for a second.

2wired2tired.com said...

I'm so sorry that someone felt the need to be so cruel. What a jerk. I'm glad you wrote this up and aren't brushing it under the rug. Someone like that needs to be called out and it's wonderful that you did so. Keep on blogging, there's lots of us out here that love your writing and will stick by you when that one bad apple rolls in.

Mrsbear said...

WTF is wrong with people. Bella is a beautiful, confident, clever girl. Why anyone would choose to attack her is more than I can comprehend. The anonymity of the internet brings out the worst in some people.

Karen & Gerard Zemek said...

You go "Mama Bear." That's what I thought of when I read your post today. Wow, that comment got you all riled up. Sorry they were so insensitive and ruined your day. You are a very good mother! Maybe, hopefully, all these good comments you have received on this post can make up for that one bad one. Bella is a beautiful girl, and I never would have even noticed the sagging skin if you hadn't pointed it out. Glad you were able to to take care of that problem one her arm.

bluecottonmemory said...

It is a shame that people come into the blogahood and misbehave. When entering someone elses home (blog), you need to go by their rules or do not enter at all!

Love your neighbor, even that neighbor in the blogahood!

I am so sorry you had to go through this. I think your daughter is precious! And you are one mighty mom! We have to be because we have to fight a lot of battles while raising these precious children!

wahzat!! said...

so sorry that you had to go through that! People are so ridiculous.
Sigh you handled it wonderfully by the way.

Zeemaid said...

well no wonder you had so many comments yesterday. I as usual come well after the fact but I am absolutely stunned that someone would post that. I can't imagine why or how they could look at your little girl and think she's anything but normal. Even if she was overweight, why is it their business to jump to conclusions and lecture you about it?

Every child grows different. Some pack on baby weight which they don't shed until puberty regardless of their diet. Others are skinny from the get go and look like they are being starved. Would you get a comment then about feeding your child more food? I think not.

Shame on you BFF whoever you are.

Zeemaid said...

BTW it just about made me cry looking at poor Bella's arm and imagining what you all had to go through with it. I had never heard of that happening. poor thing.

Michele S said...

Hi Helene. I just got caught up on your blog and OMG. Bella went through so much with that hemangioma. Good grief, that thing was gigantic. I forgot. I am so glad she was able to have it removed and is living a completely normal life without it. Now go F off BFF. Hugs, Helene.

Alicia said...

Oh, Helene!!!!!

This is so terrible!! I can't stand it when I read about "anonymous" people leaving comments like that!!

But, you are right...it is not worth your tears. Of course, I would have felt the same way as you. Any mom would. This "bff" is not worth another second.

Big hugs to you!!

CRAZYMOM said...

Good Lord! I wish we could find these people and beat them up. 9is that wrong of me? oh well)

Kathryn said...

Good for you for standing your ground and not letting this coward spout their garbage. I have issues like this a lot..in person..from people who say how small my son is for his age (btw..my daughter is on the high end of the weight scale but she is happy, eats healthy and is normal too..the world does not look like a magazine!)

You are an excellent Mother Bear - keep it up.
Kathryn
www.coastalchick.com

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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