Tuesday, May 4, 2010

My kind of luck is the reason why....

...my kids seem to poop at the EXACT moment I'm about to shovel the first bite of hot, savory food all day long into my mouth (nothing like hearing "Mommy, I need you to wipe my butt" as I'm about to sit down to a nice, steaming bowl of chili)

...the doorbell rings right at the same time my butt is about to plant itself firmly on the sofa for the first time in hours and even though I tell the kids "Sshhhh, let's not answer it", they run over to the door and scream loudly, "Our mom will be there in a minute"

...the kids are completely quiet while I'm on hold on the phone but as soon as the operator comes on the line and announces, "Thank you for holding....how can I help you?", all hell breaks loose and they need my immediate attention right then and there

...I spend 30 minutes making pancakes from scratch for the spawn and after the first bite, they claim they like "Daddy's pancakes" better (the same pancakes that just happened to come frozen in a box which he microwaves in only a matter of 20 seconds....yeah, he's a regular Wolfgang Puck, isn't he?)

...the one strawberry the kids have been waiting to turn a bright, juicy red has been chowed down by two rebel snails, who decided to go against the norm and avoid eating the snail bait for a change

...some of the parents who drive luxury cars at my kids' school zip out of the parking lot without a care in the world, as if I should be watching out for them because their car is more expensive than mine

...while trying to make a good impression on some moms at the park, I wanted to crawl in a hole when one of my kids fell off his bike in front of the group of them and he responded, "I think I'm okay...but my nuts got a little smashed" when one of the moms asked if he was alright

...when this same mom wasn't sure she had heard my son right and asked, "Excuse me?", he repeated it again but this time he put extra emphasis on the word "nuts", while pointing to his little man package

...just when I think the spawn couldn't possibly come up with any more interesting and creative excuses to stay in bed, they will come up with something that is truly outrageous ("my pillow scares me", "the nightlight is talking to me", "I might choke on my own spit" and "what if the toilet overflows in the middle of the night and we all drown")

...Tim and I finally sneak upstairs for some one-on-one time (literally) and one of the kids happens to have a nightmare at the precise same moment
as...well, you know

...my 5-year old son thinks it's hilarious that for Recycling Day he expects to get away with telling his teacher that he recycles his own boogers and that's how he helps to preserve the planet

But my kind of luck is also the reason why....

...when Cole and Bella said their prayers last night, they included (without any prompting, mind you) my sweet friend's two young daughters, who just lost their father to cancer 2 weeks ago...

"....and please remember to bring lots of peace and comfort to V and E because their daddy is up in heaven with you now. We don't want them to be sad. Please let them know that he is an angel now and that he's watching over them.

....oh, and thank you for the sunshine and blue skies. And next time you see Jesus, tell him we said hello and that our cat killed another mouse."

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63 comments:

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I absolutely love this! And the 'nuts' comment sounds just like something my son would say.
Love their prayers!

The Mother said...

That Murphy guy really knew what he was talking about, didn't he?

You could add the Helene corollary. Or two.

Rebecca said...

Thanks...that "nuts" comment nearly made me spit my coffee out...thanks a lot.

Oh and the one-on-one mishap? Happens all the time around here...for me...not for Husband...thanks karma.

Carly said...

Wow Sometimes after all the crazy stuff our kids do, they surprise us with their acts of kindness like their prayer that was swo sweet and hartfelt.

Colton's Mommy said...

The "nuts" comment made me laugh so hard!! Only out of the mouth of kid could that be so funny. They just say whatever comes to their little minds.

BigSis said...

Love, love, love the sweet prayers.

Oh and... now I'm afraid to go to sleep. They pointed out some things I'd never thought of. I'm certain my nightlight will talk to me tonight!

Jennifer @ The Toy Box Years said...

OMG - that "nuts" comment made me almost spit my coffee out! Especially when he had to repeat it -- louder! LOL!

Gotta love it!

zookeeperjess said...

wow, seriously choking back tears at the prayers part. That's so incredibly sweet and sad at the same time. :/

The nuts part is hilarious though!! Oh every single time we go to leave, the 5 month old poops right as we're walking out the door. And with 4 small kids that's a PITA! I kid you not, every single time!

Tabatha said...

Love IT!!!!!! this was a great post!!! and boy do I understand it!!

Jenny said...

all so true! the phone thing gets me all the time! so annoying...then they turn around and do something to melt you heart. gotta love them!

Kim said...

Kids have impecable timing. My children somehow manage full-out poop explosions every time we are about to leave on a trip. By the time I change their clothes and wash the crap out of their hair we are about 30 minutes late.

And I so wish I was the mom at the park when your son smashed his "nuts." That would have made my day. And that prayer was just so sweet. They sure make all those annoying moments worth it.

Heather said...

What a precious prayer!

Yes, kids seems to have such perfect timing :)

mama of 4 said...

Oh sweetness! I have days that all of the above happen and then the sweetest thing will happen and make it all worthwhile. That was the best prayer ever, I'm not sure anyone but a child could have come up with one more meaningful or sweet.

Natalie said...

LOVE this post! I really, do. My favorite part (after all the laughing I did because I totally related) was that your little ones said a prayer for their friend. It makes all the chaos worth it, doesn't it :)

Kristina P. said...

Oh, your kid's prayer made me tear up a bit!

Brooke said...

i'm sorry, i really wanted to read the whole blog, but i just couldn't compose myself after reading "my nuts got a little smashed" enough to stop laughing and continuing reading.

Brooke said...

okay finally got it together. that is such a sweet prayer!

Mommy24cs said...

LOL, I love this because it sounds like I have the exact same luck as you. From Carson saying whatever thought pops into his mind at the most embarrassing moment to me trying to hide from whoever is knocking at the door and Carson running over, swinging the door wide open and asking what they want.

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

Hello, it's been some time..my apologies.
I really enjoyed your post, Helen! Oh, the kids never fail to surprise me.
Hope you have a lovely day!
Betty xx

Desiree said...

Love it!! It is funny how your day can be so crazy and you can be on the brink of wanting to strangle you kids... and then you hear them pray...
Also, I can't tell you how many times I have gone to eat a BEAN burrito or a bowl of chili just to have to stop mid bite to hear about the twins color of poop or to change the baby's blowout.

Theresa said...

Hehe...I have the same luck as you. Love Cole and Bella for their prayers for V and E...I have been saying the same ones...but theirs made me tear up. Cyber hugs from me!

Tami G said...

This is the BEST list EVAH!!!
I love it!
LOVE the nut story - CLASSIC!
I love having a little boy (well he's 14 now - but trust me, those moments NEVER stop!) HA!

The prayers are tooooo sweet :)
you have GREAT boys and you are ARE very lucky :)

Tylaine said...

Oh my goodness that was hillarious!! I almost fell off my chair when I read the 'nuts' one..lol and I think it's hillarious how you refer to the kids as spawn. :)
And those prayers are so adorable!!
I just starting following you and I love your writing!

Samantha said...

I laughed all the way through this. Nuts, spawn, and all!

& it's always sweet to hear your kids pray :)

Mom of twins! said...

Okay, this seriously was the funniest post I read in a long time! It reminds me so much of ME!! I always have the strangest things happen to me...I laughed so hard about how you wait on the phone, then all hell breaks out...so familar. I am really enjoying your post!

Mom of twins! said...

Oh.. and the "nutz" part, I almost fell off my chair laughing!

Jen said...

You sure are a lucky lady.

And I know this b/c I have similar luck. ;)

Annie said...

Beautiful post!!!

shortmama said...

Sounds very familiar...except with two kids....and no twins...oh and also no nuts to be smashed.

Arent kids prayers the absolute best!?

Stefenie said...

Sounds like my house too!

Amy W said...

So sorry to hear that N's husband passed. Your kids are very sweet to remember their kids in their prayers. :)

Nobodys Nothings said...

i love kids for every one of those reasons. they make blogging possible. ;) after this post, i am absolutely convinced that children's digestive systems actually have a timed release system, set to expel waste when food touches mommy's mouth. my daughter does the same thing. it. never. fails. even my son (whose butt i don't have to wipe anymore thank goodness!) was in the bathroom as i set dinner on the table today. amazing.

Marianne said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

My nuts!

Oh my god, I laughed so hard. I would have died if I were you, but if I was on the receiving end of that conversation, I would have laughed as hard as I did when I read it. That's hilarious.

Daddy must be proud ;)


But the prayer, oh the prayer, that really, truly brought tears to my eyes. When kids say things like that, totally unprovoked, what further reassurance do you need that you're doing something right in raising your kids? What beautiful (and quirky, shameless, totally awesome) souls they have.

Wendy @RunningonMTT said...

LOL- loved everything you wrote and most of it I felt like you were writing about my life!!! Esp. the one on one part - that is why we now take advantage mid-day with no distractions....well maybe from the UPS man but he can leave the packages on the porch right????

Oh - boys will be boys and those goody goodies probably choked on their properness when he said it to them twice! LMAO!!!!

And...the prayers part - now that just goes to show you that even though you think you've gone wrong...in fact you've done it right!!!!! Sorry to hear about their friend's dad. HUGS!

Mama Dub said...

Best post ever! As much as will dread it then (I'm sure) I can't wait to see all the silly things that come from my child's mouth. You can only do so much.. they will do the rest :)

Missie said...

Your post had my laughing like crazy and then feeling like crying over how lovely their prayers were for their friends. Cherish every moment!

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

There's frozen pancakes? Maybe I should get those--that's my kind of cooking. Your kids are probably just used to them so that's why they like them better.

Those were cute prayers, love that they wanted Jesus to know the cat killed another mouse.

Shelby at DoubleUpBooks.com - The Twins and Multiples Bookstore said...

You totally had me at "My pillow scares me" - I haven't heard that one yet, but I'm sure that I will! I'm going to tweet this post right now.

Shelby : )

Joy said...

The nuts comment made me laugh! And that final comment shows how sweet your kids really are. I love that they want Jesus to know the cat killed another mouse. too cute!

Shell said...

Oh girl, we could so hang out with our kids all together.

Moments like that last sweet one thankfully outweigh all the craziness. (most of the time anyway)

"Cottage By The Sea" said...

Your posts always make my day. Your kids say the funniest things. Only second to you! God Bless V and E, now in our prayers too.

debi9kids said...

OMGoodness. I'm so sorry about your friend's husband :(
I hate, hate, hate cancer with such a passion!

So glad you had all of these silly things here as well.... nuts. too funny

Jenny said...

LOL about the nuts comment!

That is so sad that those young girls lost their daddy. How sweet for your kids to pray for them.

Alicia said...

Awwww!! Bless their little hearts!!!!!!!!!!

Mercy said...

The things kids come up with to keep us on our toes...

But they also know how to make it up to us. Just after being naughty they come and do something so nice we forget they are capable of being bad.

Creative Junkie said...

That pretty much sums up motherhood. Those things just come with the territory, like stretch marks.

I'm so sorry for your friend's loss - I just can't imagine. :(

Ashley said...

I am laughing so hard that I am crying. How adorable are your children? Your are so blessed!

Missy (Two Little Monkeys) said...

What a funny list and then OH SO Sweet! You have the sweetest kids. I love that they remembered your friend's daughters.

And your comment the other day about Bella wanting to climb a tree and seeing the girls in the tree - cracked me up! For the record, I placed them there for a photo op and Abby was wearing a skirt which she flashed me : )
I had to crop the picture in order to use. I wish we lived closer too - I can just picture Abby, Emma & Bella climbing trees and being great friends : )

KLZ said...

The nuts comment sounds just like something my HUSBAND would say....and the nut doesn't fall far from the nut tree.

I think I'll just stay away from parks.

Eva Gallant said...

You've reminded me of all the joys of parenting! But now I'm loving retirement!

MrsM said...

I think that this is how children survive...just when you're on the brink of killing them they do something SO sweet and SO adorable that you feel guilty for ever even thinking that they were draining.

Then they start over again and the guilt is gone =)

Nezzy said...

The prayer at the end makes all the other 'stuff' worthwhile. How sweet was that??? Now, that nut comment made me blow milk out my nose! Heeehehehe! Never a dull moment, huh?

Ya'll have a wonderfully blessed day!!!

blueviolet said...

You have more entertainment packed into one household in a week's time than most people do in a year!

The nuts just completely cracked me up!

Mimi and Tilly said...

You make me laugh out loud and also cry a little bit too. Your children are completely amazing. (I love the nuts comment.) x

yonca said...

Those prayers are so sweet.Have a great evening!

Karen said...

My mom used to make us cover our mouths with our hands when she was on the phone. And if we made a peep, we were in BIG trouble.

Your kids are so funny! I especially like the talking night light.

Mrsblogalot said...

LOL!!! My nuts got a little smashed.

Priceless.

Love him!

RN Mama said...

Omg, I laughed right out loud about the boogers!! What a clever little guy:)

I loved this post.

Sharlene said...

I think we must have the same luck. The "nuts" comment is priceless. I think I would have peed myself.

And those excuses about not wanting to go bed- wow. Very creative. You must just laugh all day long.

Wahzat Gayle said...

i love that you see the beauty of your children. God knows they must be stressful at times.

Happy Mother's Day Super Mom ;)

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Another mouse, eh?!

You are going to be so happy you have this to re-read someday when they are all grown up.

LucidLilith said...

lol @ n"nuts"
oh the joys (i have to look forward to) of motherhood.

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Anybody that I have to talk to on the phone that doesn't know us, I'm sure thinks we are CRAZY!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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