...my kids seem to poop at the EXACT moment I'm about to shovel the first bite of hot, savory food all day long into my mouth (nothing like hearing "Mommy, I need you to wipe my butt" as I'm about to sit down to a nice, steaming bowl of chili)
...the doorbell rings right at the same time my butt is about to plant itself firmly on the sofa for the first time in hours and even though I tell the kids "Sshhhh, let's not answer it", they run over to the door and scream loudly, "Our mom will be there in a minute"
...the kids are completely quiet while I'm on hold on the phone but as soon as the operator comes on the line and announces, "Thank you for holding....how can I help you?", all hell breaks loose and they need my immediate attention right then and there
...I spend 30 minutes making pancakes from scratch for the spawn and after the first bite, they claim they like "Daddy's pancakes" better (the same pancakes that just happened to come frozen in a box which he microwaves in only a matter of 20 seconds....yeah, he's a regular Wolfgang Puck, isn't he?)
...the one strawberry the kids have been waiting to turn a bright, juicy red has been chowed down by two rebel snails, who decided to go against the norm and avoid eating the snail bait for a change
...some of the parents who drive luxury cars at my kids' school zip out of the parking lot without a care in the world, as if I should be watching out for them because their car is more expensive than mine
...while trying to make a good impression on some moms at the park, I wanted to crawl in a hole when one of my kids fell off his bike in front of the group of them and he responded, "I think I'm okay...but my nuts got a little smashed" when one of the moms asked if he was alright
...when this same mom wasn't sure she had heard my son right and asked, "Excuse me?", he repeated it again but this time he put extra emphasis on the word "nuts", while pointing to his little man package
...just when I think the spawn couldn't possibly come up with any more interesting and creative excuses to stay in bed, they will come up with something that is truly outrageous ("my pillow scares me", "the nightlight is talking to me", "I might choke on my own spit" and "what if the toilet overflows in the middle of the night and we all drown")
...Tim and I finally sneak upstairs for some one-on-one time (literally) and one of the kids happens to have a nightmare at the precise same moment
as...well, you know
...my 5-year old son thinks it's hilarious that for Recycling Day he expects to get away with telling his teacher that he recycles his own boogers and that's how he helps to preserve the planet
But my kind of luck is also the reason why....
...when Cole and Bella said their prayers last night, they included (without any prompting, mind you) my sweet friend's two young daughters, who just lost their father to cancer 2 weeks ago...
"....and please remember to bring lots of peace and comfort to V and E because their daddy is up in heaven with you now. We don't want them to be sad. Please let them know that he is an angel now and that he's watching over them.
....oh, and thank you for the sunshine and blue skies. And next time you see Jesus, tell him we said hello and that our cat killed another mouse."
How We Budget for Our Summer Bucket List
16 hours ago