Thursday, May 13, 2010

Potty training 101...according to a toddler

Many moms I know are going through the potty training blues with their little ones...myself included. Garrett has had success in spurts...he'll go a few days with no accidents and then, out of nowhere, he regresses.

Now, Landon just decided as of today that he wants to use the potty. I've been bugging him for weeks...taunting him with, "I'll buy you some really cool Thomas the Train underwear" and "If you want to start preschool in a few months, you can't wear diapers!"

The minute I backed off....bam, he wants to use the potty. I'm certainly not complaining.

So I thought I'd re-post this oldie but goodie for those of you who are going through the same exact thing right now....

Potty Training 101...according to a toddler

Just when I was pretty sure that Garrett and Landon wouldn't be interested in potty training until they were.....like 6 years old....2 weeks ago, Garrett suddenly announced that his diaper was yucky. Yes, just like that....he tore his diaper off, said "this is yucky" and that was it.

I said, "Well, if your diaper is yucky and you don't want to wear it anymore, you'll need to use the potty". My jaw hit the floor as he said, "Okay" and walked into the bathroom, sat down on the little potty seat and peed! It was THAT simple. He's 2.5 years old (31 months, to be exact) and he was ready.

As parents, we bang our heads against the wall, frustrated with our children over such milestones as potty training. It's definitely not for the weak at heart. When it comes to potty training, there's a lot to be said about waiting until your child is ready...not when you're ready.

If Garrett could give some pointers, I would imagine there would be some important things he'd want me to know, such as....

1) This is the most important rule....I'm just gonna come right out and lay it on the line. I am in control here. Not you. Not Daddy. Not the moon and stars in the sky. ME...I am in control. I will use the potty when I am good and ready...and not a minute before that. Yeah, yeah...I know you gave me life and all. Save your breath cuz I really don't care.

2) Let's go over the rewards system. If I'm gonna be honest here (which you know is RARE for me) the one reward that means the most to me is just seeing you incredibly happy. I mean, if seeing a little bit of pee in the potty from lil ole me makes you beam with pride, I'm all for it.

With that said, if you INSIST on giving rewards, here's a list I put together which might be helpful:

-- candy (preferably, lollipops....lots and lots of lollipops)

-- stickers (of all my favorite tv/movie characters, definitely not Big Bird...he kinda sucks)

-- temporary tattoos (the ones with skulls, not the ones that say "My mom rocks")

-- time-out for all my siblings (hey, it's MY reward...don't ask any questions)

-- toys (let's be clear...good things do not come in small packages! The bigger the better, just sayin')

3) Pull-ups vs diapers. Honestly, there's no difference. Pull-ups are really just glorified diapers. And they're more expensive. Save your money and just get me a big screen tv for my room.

4) Underwear - okay, here's the deal. It is of the utmost importance that you let me go to the store with you and choose whatever underwear I want to get. Running into the house all excited with a bag full of new underwear that YOU chose from Target isn't gonna go over well with me. Just so you know.

Remember, the control issue? It all goes back to that. If you come home from the store waving a package of new underwear in my face that I did NOT pick out myself, then you should fully expect a huge setback, more than likely, in the form of a big ole steaming pile of crap on your white bedroom carpet. Yep, that's how I roll. With your kind of luck, you actually won't discover it until you step in it.

6) Please, please, please try to make this whole potty training thing entertaining for me.

Here's what's UNacceptable:

-- You sitting on a stepstool in front of me, staring me down as if your brain can telepathically send a message to my bladder and my colon, urging them both to take quick action so you can go update your Facebook page, bragging about how awesome you are at potty training your child (as if....)

-- Calling the entire family into the bathroom to watch me perform. I know it's hard to resist because I'm just so darn cute sitting on the pot. I mean, I'd want to stare at me too. But now that I've agreed to give up diapers, I have the right to privacy in the bathroom. I've earned it. Oh, and before you even think it....YOU, however, do not have any right to privacy....ever.

-- NO taking pictures of my poop and e-mailing them to Daddy at work with the subject line reading, "You HAVE to see this". My poop can only truly be appreciated in person.

--NO saying, "How can such a little body make such a big poop?" Let me just remind you that YOU do the cooking around here. I can't help that my body considers most of the food you make garbage.

-- Singing silly, stupid songs (say this 10 times fast successfully and maybe I'll consider holding my bladder for an entire night so you can get 8 consecutive hours of sleep - but, then again, don't hold your breath)

Here's what I think is super fun....see, I'm a huge Disney freak. So my mom let me pick out my own underwear at the store and of course I picked all Disney characters cuz I'm cool like that.

This is a picture of me, proudly holding all my underwear....



I know....so cute, right? Anyway, she tacks them to the wall in the bathroom
right next to my little potty, like this....



While I'm doing my business, I stare at them and imagine Dori saying, "Just keep peeing, just keep peeing" and Buzz Lightyear saying, "To infinity and beyond..." when I flush the potty.

It's FUN. I totally dig this.

7) There WILL be regression....when you least expect it, of course. Like, say, when we're at a playdate at someone else's house. Or when you finally decide to be brave enough to take the entire family out for dinner. It's not that I've forgotten how to use the potty....it's more that, for some reason, you got in your head that YOU are in control. This is simply not the case.

I am in control and this is how I put you back in your place (must we review #1 again?). You'll look disappointed and say, "Now, why did you do that? You know how to poop in the potty!"

Yeah, see, that isn't the point...of course I do. It's YOU who has forgotten how we play the game. And sometimes you just have to reminded of who the REAL boss is.

8) Lastly, don't be in such a hurry to rush me through the potty training process. Remember, I'm only this young for a little while. Cherish these times and appreciate them.

Trust me, you'll think potty training was a breeze compared to the hell I'll put you through when I'm a teenager.

So there you have it....potty training 101, in a nutshell, courtesy of yours truly...




MyFreeCopyright.com Registered & Protected

49 comments:

Merri Ann said...

So funny and cute. I agree that they look so darn cute using the potty and wearing their new underwear. I keep telling Jack that he has to stop farting on Buzz and Woody ... so the other morning he started putting his underwear on backwards ... some jokes just have unexpected consequences. Great post !!

Rebecca said...

I love the idea of his siblings getting time outs and the fact that his body considers most of what you cook garbage...this was hysterical! The pictures...oh, the pictures are awesome too! What a handsome little guy!

The Mother said...

I shipped all my kids to my mom for potty training.

Next batch, I'm shipping to you.

The Boob Nazi said...

Apparently, I did it so I could wear "pretty panties." That's what my mom told me. I've always loved underwear, I guess.

Brooke said...

my sister said the same thing about pull ups. well not the big screen part but you know what i mean ;)

Eva Gallant said...

What a great post! loved it!

Nezzy said...

This is great!!! I have potty trained at Camp Grandma several times. I've also weened them from the breast and pacifier but I'm gettin' off subject here.

Long before Buzz or video games you could by these little floain' fish or other targets ya threw in the toilet. Little boys could sink 'em with #1, Chris thought there was nothin' more fun than that! Needless to say potty training was a slam dunk! Heeehehehe!

God bless ya and have a beautifully blessed day!!!

Mrsbear said...

That kid totally knows what he's talking about. I can't even tell you how happy I was when my youngest finally got with the program and went undies full time. I thought for sure he'd be going to college in his Luvs. ;)

Jen said...

I think that I may have to read this to my kids. YOu may know, we tried with potty training thing and it was a failure. Total and utter failure.

Maybe soon.

Missy (Two Little Monkeys) said...

Oh, the joys of potty training.

Rhaven said...

Too cute and SOOOO true!

christy rose said...

Your posts are always so entertaining. Of course, how could they not be with two sets of twins to keep you entertained as well. I am so glad that you blog to pass on all of your motherly wisdom you have learned from your little darlings. I think the tacked up disney underwear next to the potty is hilarious and when it comes time to potty train Jacob, I am going to come back to this post and show him these pictures. Thanks for the fun read this morning. :)

Ash said...

i love your long funny post(s) and i thought i was funny?! tough competition for sure but you'll win hands down.

keep it up and make us LOL for now - forever!:D

This Daddy said...

Underwear on the wall. That is awesome. I need to do that, for myself.

Amy W said...

I had to send the link to this post to my sister-in-law. They are in the midst of training my 3-yr old twin nephews!! :)

shortmama said...

Yep sounds about right!

Corrie Howe said...

I enjoyed it just as much the second time around. And I'm soooo glad that I don't have any more children needing potty training.

As I watched a neighbor taking their puppy out to potty train, I realized that this will be the main obstacle to getting a dog. I don't want to ever go through potty training again. Five years (plus another four) to completely train my middle child...that's enough for any mother.

Kim said...

So funny... and encouraging for those of us currently bribing our two year-old to just put his peepee in the potty already (after numerous phone calls from Grandma declaring that "we really need to get him potty trained").

The bribery finally worked to motivate him, but he wants that orange smiley face sticker so bad that the pressure is just too much. He now sits on the potty and yells (at his penis), "Peepee, come down!" And yet our potty water remains clear as ever over here. Oh well.

S Club Mama said...

I dig the underwear on the wall. I need to think of something for Tristan's potty. We're (hoping to) starting next week. :S I'm scared, not gonna lie.

Monkeys Mommy ♥ said...

Love this post! I am amid potty training with my youngest (3.5 y/o). Love the underwear on the wall, great idea! Thanks for the laughs, as usual!

2wired2tired.com said...

Thanks Garrett! I've found all of your tips to be true in my house as well, the biggest of which is I'll do it when I'm ready not when you sa I am.

Glad to hear it is all going well and maybe you could give my son a little nudge and let him know how cool being potty trained is! Don't tell him I asked you though, you know that whole whose in control thing and all!

Angela said...

This might be my favorite post yet! Uggghhh! I'm so not looking forward to 3 at once! Maybe I'll try one at a time. Sounds much nicer, right! And love the visual motivation on the bathroom wall! LOVE IT!

Creative Junkie said...

I'm loving the wall of undies!

Tylaine said...

Oh my gosh that was so funny and so true. I LOVE the undies on the wall thing :)
I'm going through a regression stage with my almost 4 year old! (yes you heard me right) It is driving me nuts but I know she's doing it partly cause I overreact sometimes (and she's just too busy like her mom was) I totally use the no preschool if you're in diapers thing!

MamaHen Em said...

Undies on the wall? Priceless. Potty training in general? The reason we stopped having kids! i couldn't do it one more time! (Just kidding! not really, but that's how much I hate potty training!!) Yay for your boys!!

Angie said...

Helene, this is priceless!!! Made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. I think my little boy would agree with yours on most of the points, especially the overriding, "I'm the one in control."

Truly a humbling lesson for mama.

Thank you so much for posting this today--it really made me feel better, as my son had an accident on an upholstered chair (his daddy's recliner, natch) this morning and I've spent the better part of the day trying to salvage the seat cushion. It's nice to be reminded that this is normal and that one day it will be funny.

BTW, did you really take pics of poop and email them to your hubby? :) I never did, but only because I never really thought about it ...

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Oh that was funny! "Just keep peeing, just keep peeing!"

I think you hit the nail on the head with all of those tips.

Mine says, "I don't feeeeel like it now" so we wait...

Mrs Montoya said...

Oh so funny, and so true. The Athlete used to say "no thank you". I wish I'd asked him for a list :) Those kids are blogging gold!!!

Collections from my Heart said...

absolutely precious. thanks for the insight, I'll definately remember this when its time to potty train.

Jenna said...

I keep waiting for that moment, my boys will be 31 months in a few weeks. We've tried and failed terribly at potty training so far its on hold, till they say so, lol!

Annie said...

The wall with undies is great. Like your post.

The Lane Family said...

I LOVE This post and as we begin to think about potty training in the future for the girl's reading this reminds me how it was with Aidan and how important it is to remember what they think of the whole thing :)

I love the underwear wall and I am going to try it with the girl's. Aidan thought the underwear wall was for him to pull down the underwear and try to flush them in the toliet or throw them in the garbage...HELLOOOO!!

Sherri said...

My little girls is showing NO interest in potty training...so I guess she is going to make me work! I was hoping she was like her older sister...they did it themselves!

Katie's Dailies said...

My girl had a thing for Port-a-Potties. She couldn't walk by one without all of sudden needing to go potty. She's 16 now---can we say date blackmail?

My boy would always wear his hiking boots when he sat on his little throne. And read Sports Illustrated. And sit for hours, looking at the pictures. He was not allowed the swimsuit edition. Ever. Again, date blackmail, anyone?

Thanks for the walk down (my) memory lane!

smArtee said...

Potty training is fun...When its over..!!...those are the cutest...I wish I had a pair for me...when Im laughing very hard..usually when Im over here...Hahahahah..!

Stefenie said...

This blog post was super cute and fun to read. My seven year old was so much easier to potty train than my now three year old. Of course he didn't have the heart issues/medical problems like his little brother has nor did he have to take heart meds that make him have to pee buckets every two minutes. I wish it would be just as easy the second time of round but we are enjoying the fun of potty training anyway.

Tracie said...

Potty training my kids was a friggin' nightmare. They were soooo stubborn. But I'm sure that it isn't half as bad as what they have coming for me in the teen years. :)

Erin said...

I am relieved to be done with potty training....and love the way you've written this post---from the kid's perspective. It's nothing short of brilliant.

p.s. do people really email poop photos to daddies at work? hehehehehhehe

I went through about a bazillion stickers, suckers, and Skittles. Oy.

Mercy said...

So nice when potty training is done and over with. My son has been trained for almost a year now and I'm working with my daughter. I use cloth diapers at home so I figure every time in the potty is one less diaper to wash, hence the reason I start their training early.

wife.mom.nurse said...

oh my goodness...the underpants on the wall are hilarious!

Potty training boys...I am trembling just thinking about it!

litanyofbritt said...

HAHA so true! i potty trained my oldest with a shoebox full of rubber spiders. my daughter. i know.

my son will wear a diaper to college graduation

Krystyn said...

Isn't he so useful and helpful. I mean, what other toddler would take the time to record all of this for us?

Scary Mommy said...

That was perfection!!! My youngest is 2.5 and I am dreading getting started. Thinking I may hold off. Until, say, kindergarten.

Hey, congrats on your Parents Picks pre-nomination! Get your peeps clicking-- I already did! ;) http://www.parentsconnect.com/parents-picks/best-parenting-blogs

Jenjen @GottaLoveMom said...

kids are just adorable. (If it happens, it'll happen..)
Take care :)

Wendy said...

summed up perfectly! I used to say, 'my son will be broke before he starts pre-k' (he just finished this week and STILL has accidents! We have not made it through a full night dry either. It is all about him. His decision. It's frustrating and aggrivating and at times I feel I'll go insane, but now I say...'SURELY, he won't have accidents when he is 6!' LOL

Good luck!

Debbie said...

You are so wise! I am sure this is what they would tell us if they could. What a great mom you are.

Zeemaid said...

awww I just loved the photos. Aren't little boys undies adorable?

Did you really email his dad with a picture of his poop? Remember Kate Gosselin with her poop photos of all 8 of her kids? *L*

Oh and he has it so right.. they are so totally in control aren't they?

BTW why was the underwear tacked to the wall? *g*

JDaniel4's Mom said...

This is such wise advise! Thank for sharing.

Shell said...

This is so funny!

Kids really are in control of potty training. i still can't wait til my last is potty trained!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
Blog Design by Likely Lola