1) why whenever I get sick it happens to be during the work week but when Tim gets sick it's ALWAYS on a weekend.
You know, the two days a week he's actually available to help me with the kids. How's that for perfect timing?
2) why the kids continously ask me to help them with things while I'm trying to cook dinner, as Tim snoozes on the sofa in the next room.
3) why when I'm talking to Tim, he never hears a word I say yet when I'm on the phone with a friend and he just happens to be in another room, he'll hear every word I say....and feels compelled to chime in with his opinion, repeatedly.
4) why, at the ripe old age of 41 years old, I laugh like a little child any time my kids fart.
As if that isn't bad enough, Bella was trying to tell me something that the "yard duty" person said to her last week and I couldn't stop giggling.
She said, "What's so funny?"
I answered, "You said 'duty'".
With her hands on her hips, she shook her head in disbelief and said, "Seriously, Mommy?"
5) why Landon has a Boston accent even though he's never visited the east coast.
He's constantly telling me to "pak the cah ovuh they-uh" and asking for a "cuppa watuh".
6) why I still get embarrassed watching sex scenes on tv with Tim (not porn, people...think Weeds and True Blood).
7) how on earth I could possibly miss this growing in my garden...
I check that damn plant every single day and never saw that mother of a zucchini until just yesterday.
8) why my husband is the world's biggest pervert.
Upon showing him the giant zucchini and shrieking, "What the hell am I supposed to do with THAT?", he raised his eyebrows and answered, "Well, I can think of a couple uses for it..."
Good God, how can his brain manage a twisted comeback to that when all the blood in his body is trapped down south in his penis?
9) why I find it kind of creepy that Bella is in love with my friend's 16-year old son but when Landon told me he wanted to marry this same friend's 5-year old son, I exclaimed, "Awwww, that's SO sweet".
Upon informing my friend about this, she, too, thought it was absolutely adorable. Our husbands...not so much.
10) why Bella, at only 5 years old, has way more confidence than I do.
For me to get in a bathing suit and go to the neighborhood pool is downright painful.
But she happily throws on a bikini and some strappy sandals (with heels, mind you) and, at a party, confidently struts herself in front of my friend's 16-year old son...you know, the one she has a crush on.
When I told Bella that Anthony's girlfriend was at the party, too, she shrugged her shoulders and answered non-chalantly, "I don't care".