Friday, August 6, 2010

A little bit of this, a little bit of that...

A bunch of random tidbits, wrapped up into one...

1) There's something seriously wrong with me. Some of you may already be aware of that but this may be shocking for others, I realize.

For instance, Cole downloaded a game on my iPhone called "Ow, My Balls".

The point of the game is to keep the little cartoon guy up in the air long enough to land on things (mostly sharp, pointed objects, as well as hot BBQ's and birds with huge beaks), ultimately crushing his nuts.

Completely inappropriate for a 5-year old child? Most definitely.

Yet, I can't help cheering him on when he's racked up 246,000 points in just a matter of minutes.

That's some serious skill right there, people. And I don't want to discourage the development of excellent hand-eye coordination, do I?

2) At the same time, there's something seriously wrong with Tim. He has a problem with referring to Cole's...uh....private parts with its properly given term "penis". I kept telling Tim that one of these days he's going to be sorry.

But of course it's me who ends up speechless and embarrassed at the park one day when I overhear our well-meaning son tell another child, "You have to be careful not to hit me in my kickstand next time you throw the ball".

And, trust me, when the poor, confused kid asked what Cole meant by "kickstand", he had no problem explaining it.

That evening, for the final time, I screamed at Tim, "For the love of God, it's a PENIS, not a KICKSTAND!! Please refer to IT the right way!!"

It must be a guy thing...being all proud of your son who seems to be well-endowed for his age. But still....

3) When someone tells you that you will be HIKING through a WATERFALL what exactly do you envision?

Yeah, that's what I thought too. A huge waterfall...lots of rocks...running water...there's a good chance you will get wet.

And when that same someone tells you that you might want to wear water shoes or sneakers that you don't mind getting wet, do you show up wearing strappy sandals after you just got a pedicure?

See, exactly what I thought again.

In Tahoe, I invited my sister, her kids and her two friends and their kids to go HIKING with us along Glen Alpine FALLS. Apparently, they had envisioned a calm, smoothly-flowing stream running down a series of small hills.

Uh, no....when I said WATERFALL, I meant WATERFALL.

They were freaking out, watching their kids run amock on the rocks. My sister was upset that I was letting my own children, as young as they are, climb the rocks.

Yet, there were parents with kids the same age as my own letting their kids explore...and I couldn't help but think of my friend, Sharlene, who takes her young twins on all kinds of adventure (including walking on cliffs).

At one point, Tim did leave the kids alone on a rock, which I was upset about but the rest of the time, we explored the waterfall together...all hand in hand.

I could partially see why she was upset, especially with Garrett's head injury just a couple months ago.

She kept saying, "Someone's going to get hurt. Becca's already scraped her foot."

I got news for her...unless there's some way you can place your kid in bubble wrap and leave them locked in the basement for the rest of their lives without CPS having a major issue with it, the kids are going to get bumps and scrapes along the way.

Isn't it better for them to incur those bumps and scrapes while doing something fun and adventurous, while being closely supervised of course....rather than sitting on the couch with a bowl of chips in hand, while witnessing others experiencing life on television?

Then she said, "Uh, not to be a bitch but..." which isn't gonna be good because when someone starts a sentence off like that, you just know you're gonna end up thinking, "What a bitch...I can't believe she said that".

Finally, after arguing with her "Where's your sense of adventure?", we left with them and went to the stream profile at Camp Richardson.

Funny thing, though, while walking along the flat ground along the calm stream is where Garrett got hurt. Go figure...

Just a scraped cracked head, bulging eyeballs or anything of that sort.

4) On Tuesday, I got violently ill...not sure if it was food poisoning or a 24-hour stomach bug but I felt like death was hunting me down.

The kids were so worried and concerned. Kind of like the time when I fell from the bunkbed ladder while hanging a mobile for Bella.

While I was puking in the toilet for the 5th time in an hour, Landon was screaming at me, "Mommy, I need a shirt. Get me a shirt NOW!"

Bella was asking, "When you're done puking, can you take us to the pool?"

Cole repeatedly asked for another bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios and Garrett was pissed that I couldn't summon enough energy to get off the bathroom floor long enough to change the channel on the tv for him.

God forbid, Mommy take a sick day for once in 5 years.

Can someone please tell me when kids are supposed to develop empathy for others because I'm a little concerned that I'm raising a bunch of future serial killers. Registered & Protected


MiMi said...

Oh, I'm so bad. I'm one of those mommies that FREAK about the rocks and waterfalls. Of course, I don't go around bossing others around about it and I DO let the kids do it, I'm just a mess on the inside of my brain.
And the "Ow, my balls." HAHAHA!!!
Lately my 7 year old has started saying, "Hey, don't hit me in the nuts!!"
Honestly, I don't know where he heard it.

Charlene said...

Just another fun example of how fun it is raising boys....Sorry about the no sick day!

The Mother said...

Like you, I'm not big on euphemisms. Look how much trouble they got the Victorians into.

On the other hand, you might not want to use me as a role model. Out to dinner with teenage son, I realized (no idea how the conversation got there) he had never seen an uncirced penis.

So I marched him home and pulled up pix on the internet. I figured if he was gonna own one, he needed to know something about it.

Not big on euphemisms, but really, really big on sex ed.

Anonymous said...

Kickstand? I haven't heard that one before. That's hilarious!

I have had to learn the hard way that Mommy doesn't ever get a sick day. It's completely unfair. I hope you are feeling better girl. xoxo

Shell said...

I had to laugh at 'when you're done puking...'

I HATE when people say things like "Not to be a bitch, but..." or "No offense, but..." or "I hate to be rude, but..." like prefacing it like that gives them the okay to say something horribly rude.

Nezzy said...

Let me tell you, my kiddos had their share of bangs, bumps and bruises but they tell their children today all the fun adventures they had growin' up. Ya sure can't raise children in a bottle.

God bless ya and have a wonderful weekend!!!

Eva Gallant said...

Hope you're feeling better. I'm with you, better they get hurt doing things. My mother used to hyperventilate that my boys were climbing to the tree tops when they were 3 and 4 years old. My attitude was, if I tell them not to do it, they will, but they'll be watching to make sure I don't catch them at it, and they'll fall. So I just alwasy said, Go for it, but hold on tight! They never got hurt climbing trees!

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Holy shit Helene!!! I totally was drinking coffee when the kickstand clicked in my brain what it meant and then I spit it out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh that was SO funny!

OK so with the empathy thing. Ummm yah. I sat on a wasp by our pool, yada, yada, yada I freaked and after a bit Emily came up to me and patted me on the back and said, "It's been 15 minutes and you aren't dead yet so can we swim now?"

So there you go.

And yes, I am blogging about it next week.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree. You are raising a bunch of serial killers! Get out of there as soon as you can! You life depends on it! LOL!

Your sister and friends seem to be from L.A. Am I correct? They don't have a clue what a waterfall is!

Tropical Mum said...

Everyone has their worry threshold. We are helicopter parents sometimes and then other times, someone should call the CPS--just kidding.

We have friends who we feel their threshold is way higher than ours and it's a real challenge to keep our mouths shut.

Kelly said...

Ok, there's something wrong with me because I read about that game and immediately started looking for it in the app store. And for the record, my favorite game is a stick figure skateboard game where the guy gushes blood when he falls. Sick, I know.

And we refer to my son's penis as a pee-pee which I imagine is a safe term, but the testicles are called "guys". So if you run into my son and he's talking about his "guys" you will know what that means. Kickstand is a pretty funny term, though. I can't help but laugh!

Rebecca said...

You had me at kickstand...and my husband doesn't want me using the word "balls." Ridic!

I love starting sentences with "um, not to be a bitch, but..." It's like a disclaimer!

Michelle @ Flying Giggles said...

At times, I can be a little over protective, but on the other hand, I agree with you. We really need to let our kids experience things. I remember climbing all over rocks when I was little...we survived.

Karen said...

1) Totally cracked me up and sounds like something I would encourage.

2) I agree with you and don't understand the problem with using the proper names for things.

3) But it's okay to hike barefoot, right?

4) I think the one you can be least worried about is Bella. At least she was courteous enough to ask if you could take them to the pool AFTER you finished puking.

Elizabeth said...

The kickstand is hilarious.
Nothing good ever comes after "Not to be a bitch but..." ever.
Ive had times like that when Ive invited family to activities and then halfway thru they tell me they hate the activty. WHY DO THEY COME THEN? So so frustrating. said...


what an adventurous trip :)

What did the pregnacy test show...ooops, now everyone will think you are preggers too ;)

Seriously though, what a huge bummer to be sick with the kids needing you. I hated those sick days with little ones. Why do our bodies not get the illness allowed when we have small children!

Hope you are feeling much better!


Aging Mommy said...

My husband has issues with referring to body parts by their proper names and is perfectly OK right now with our daughter talking about his "sausage." Something we need to tackle (no pun intended). Sorry you got sick - stomach flu is so bad to have to contend with as well as children, but I only have one not four. Bella's words just cracked me up. So did she get her wish and go to the pool?

Sadia said...

Sorry you were sick. I agree with you that it's important to expose kids to different experiences. I do get the urge to keep my kids away from all the potential evils of the universe, but I suppress it!

Twins Squared said...

So sorry you were sick. That sucks! Nope, no reprieve for Mommy.

Kickstand. LOL! Thanks for the laugh! I've read more things on here I've never heard of before!

shortmama said...

Im like you, I try to let the kids have fun withing reason and being supervised. I love letting them explore!

Alicia said...

Oh my, I was just picturing your kids standing behind you waiting for you to be done vomiting so you could cater to them!!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh! Im sorry for the puking, but that was cracking me up. Mommies never get a sick day do they?

I find that threatening to puke ON my children usually keeps them away. For a few minutes at least.

Crossed Fingers said...

I'm sorry - I laughed all the way through this. I do hope you're feeling better by the way.

I totally agree about letting the kids experience life vs watching it fly by on their tushes. Good for you and that sounds like an awesome adventure!

Ms Bibi said...

Did you take them to the pool whe you were done puking,lol?

Gotta love Bella.

Thanks for my morning laugh.

WhisperingWriter said...

I think I'd have a ball (teehee) with that ball game.

Buckeroomama said...

That's what my husband says, too, about letting the kids play video game --" develop their hand-eye coordination." *rolls eyes*

About the empathy thing? Let me know when you find out. My son seems totally lacking in that department, although Z seems to compensate for what her brother lacks.

An Imperfect Momma said...

Sorry about the sick day. Glad you are feeling better! Btw, it must be a man thing cause my husband calls monkeymans penis a johnson. I keep telling him to call it the right there or our son is gonna start copying him. At least monkey is only 9mos....I may have some time to break him outta that bad habit. Maybe.

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr

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