Friday, August 20, 2010

"Mommy, hold my balls..."

This is what Garrett said to me within the first 10 minutes of being in his new preschool classroom….loudly….within earshot of every parent there, of course.

He clumsily walked over to where I was sitting, three brightly colored balls in his arms which he fully intended to dump into my readily available lap, and said, “Mommy, hold my balls…”

Right then, one ball fell to the floor and he announced, “Oh no! Grab my ball, Mommy”.

I started giggling like a nervous teenager whose boyfriend just stuck his tongue unexpectedly yet forcefully in her mouth.

I did everything short of saying, "Heh,heh...he said balls" in an obnoxious Beavis and Butthead tone of voice, which Tim has to come to adore and despise at the same time.

The moment I walked out of the classrom, I imagined the teacher ran to her desk and wrote herself a note, "Reminder to self - DO NOT, under even the most desperate of circumstances, EVER ask Garrett and Landon's mom to volunteer!"

Moving on…surprisingly, no tears were shed by any of the kids on the first day of school. Nor by me!

While they were together in the same class in kindergarten, Cole and Bella were separated this year for 1st grade…which sent me into a panic. How would I volunteer in each of their classes? What about field trips? Class performances?

Thankfully, I was assured by their teachers that it shouldn’t be an issue and there was no need to worry. WTF? If there's anything I do well, it's worry...please don't deny what I do best.

I imagined those teachers wrote notes to themselves, as well..."Reminder to self - Cole and Bella's mother is a an overwrought, high-strung perfectionist, who's clearly on the verge of a mental breakdown. Gently discourage her from volunteering every chance you get."

Here are some pictures of the kids on their first day of school...






Sigh...the first day of school always makes me wish I could stop the hands of time forever.


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37 comments:

Merri Ann said...

I hate to even mention it ... but are you all alone? OMG do you actually have (dare I say it???) .... FREE TIME ????


Oh and .... those are very cute pics.

I was in tears when my oldest went to preschool on her first day ... not so much with the twins :))

Mighty M said...

But if they didn't go to school how could they embarrass you once they got there? :)

McKenzie said...

Just wanted to stop by and let you know that you won an award on my blog!

http://mckenzieinwa.blogspot.com/2010/08/more-truth-5-question-friday-friday.html

Shell said...

They are all so cute! Hope they had great first days of school!

LOL @ hold my balls.

Kim said...

Keep me informed on how it goes with separating your first graders . . . my husband wants to keep our girls together in school, but I'm thinking it might be better to separate them so that teachers and other kids get to know them as individuals, rather than "the twins."

Bella looks so cute in her outfit—girlfriend's rocking the first day of school look!

Jenny said...

LOL, that is so funny! I'm so glad they had a good first day of school.

Bella looks like a rock star!

Carly said...

Balls...lol...lol

Creative Junkie said...

Holy shit!

*whispers* are you in the house alone? are you running around naked and eating Doritos?

MERRY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!

Erin said...

Helene,

You just made me choke on my lunch!!! LOL. this is priceless. I also think the photos are adorable. I'm so excited for you and for them! p.s. loved the Beavis & Butthead reference b/c I can see myself doing/thinking the same thing.

;-)
Happy Friday!

Kristina P. said...

You showed some amazing restraint.

Crossed Fingers said...

haha - I love the picture of the boys - the look on each of their faces cracks me up. Love it! I hope they have a wonderful first day back at school!

Heather said...

They are all so cute! I can't believe you have 4 kids in school! Whatever will you do with yourself???!

Eva Gallant said...

they are all so adorable. And all in school? Whoa! a little free time for Mom, finally!

Rebecca said...

I would have pissed myself if my kid mentioned the word "balls" out loud. I have the same reaction to you when I hear dirty words...I revert to Beavis and Butthead...so sad.

At least he didn't scream, "Mommy! You're holding my balls too tight again!!!"

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

Wow...what a big day! Congrats on holding all together...including not breaking into a full laugh with the ball exchange. When I read the first couple of lines of your post, I was thinking, "Oh, no! Tell me she didn't laugh!"

(And I do love me some Beavis and Butthead! he he...he he...)

Tropical Mum said...

My time will come...in January. Mstr4 starts prep (kindergarten) then and I don't want to think what kind of mess we are both going to be in. I am going to completely embarrass him with my hysterics.

On the flip side, I won't know what to do with myself. I might actually have to clean the house once in a while as my convenient excuses won't be around anymore.

You did well to hold yourself together--good job Mom! If your school system is anything like ours there is no way you are going to get out of volunteering.

Meathead said...

Oooh! The holding the balls just reminded me of an incident we went through at Christmas. I'll be making that one a blog post!

I got all weepy when Mater started kindergarten, but I know I'll bawl like a baby when Tinkerbell starts. (we didn't do preschool)

If I had been there with you, I would have totaly snickered. heh heh. Balls. Heh heh. Balls.. heh heh!

shortmama said...

I do the Beavis thing all the time because my sense of humor is like that of a 12 year old boy!

Six Feet Under Blog said...

I had to do the first day of school today. it was so sad!

Nezzy said...

Don't ya know by now hon, it's their job to embarrass you every chance they get?

Your babes look so cute and spiffy for their first day.

I love the pics of Cole and Bella's forced smiles. My granddaughter Honor who is six does that. I call it her 'mad monkey' smile. I try my best to get a pic when she's unaware.

God bless ya and have yourself a marvelous weekend.

Cheryl Lage said...

LOVE IT! Helene that is HYSTERICAL! We had a similar one with our two at our first mini-golf course experience earlier this week...something along the lines of "Look! Our blue balls are right beside each other!"

;)

Twins. Never a dull moment!

Annie said...

You always make me laugh.

Those pictures are great. So happy they had a wonderful first day of class.

Jen said...

Ok wait, you have all 4 kids in school!?!

Gawd, I am jealous of you.

Dancer4_1 said...

I love your blog..and read often..and my kids always look at me like I am losing it..(cause the tears streaming down my face) I have had to get up and walk away just to breath, cause I am lol so hard! I am a single mom to 7 kids(all singles) and have 5 in school this year...cant wait til they all are!! What are you going to do?? I cant wait to read about it. Thanks for the laughs..and dont stop blogging!!

jediwife said...

Wow, I am already feeling the same sort of thing with my 5 month-old. I have a total gutterbrain and it often makes it difficult for me to read nursery rhymes with a straight face. Must...keep...her...innocent...

Mercy D'souza said...

Aren't kids the greatest at embarrasing us? For me, it's when we are in the grocery store and I look down to see my son, penie in hand, having a great time.

IASoupMama said...

Congrats to a successful first day of school all around, yay!

And I think I was the only one snickering in a meeting when my boss said "duty." All I could think was "He said doody..."

Clearly we are a really mature lot :)

Twins Squared said...

So they all started school! Wow! How often will Garrett and Landon go? My big girls start Monday and the little girls start Thursday. I can't believe it! I am glad they put your worries to rest.

LOL about the balls! Reagan has started doing this thing where she runs up to me and nuzzles her face, in my crotch! It is so embarrassing, like a dog. I try to very quickly pull her off before anyone notices. Funny!

Glad everyone is happy!

McKenzie said...

The photos are super cute! Congratulations on getting through the first day of school! Haha I would have laughed out loud if my son had said that to me.

2wired2tired.com said...

Wow! Your kids are all growing up so fast. I can't believe how old they all look in those pictures. It's got to be so weird for you to have all of them out of the house for part of the day now. I bet you're loving being able to hear yourself think!

Glad to hear the first day went well and even included a laugh or two. I'm a big worrier too, hopefully it will all work out perfectly and there won't be reason to worry.

MiMi said...

Bahahahaa!!!
I have a HARD time passing up those opportunities that the kids just so freely give.
Heh. Hehehe. He said BALLS.
Your kiddos are stinking adorable!

The Mother said...

There is no reputation more worth having than that of being the mom no one wants to volunteer. Think of it as being the guy who sits in the front of the jury pool and coughs all day, or who answers all the questions (have you ever murdered anyone) with a YES.

Perfect.

Donna said...

"Hold my balls..." I was laughing just seeing that post title in my blog roll! I think Austin and Logan are gonna get cheated....I got my butt smeared all over the place voluntering for the olders boys...I'm a "wiser to your ways" now Mom! (all that to say, I hope I exude the "dont call me-mom look, maybe I can copy some yours! lol)

I LOVE, love , LOVE Bella's back to school outfit! I mean Cole's is nice, too, but I love Bella's!

And why do Garrett and Landon (btw, have I ever thanked you for not naming your kids all alike and rhyming? I'ld never keep 'em straight)..anyway, why do those two suddenly look somucholder? And (dare I say) even olderthanmine? And....are they really that far apart in size or is that just the angle?

K - enuff questions...hope you're having a gah-reat weekend!

Missie said...

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sbswtp said...

They all look so cute! I wish them a happy school year! :)

Stacey said...

It takes balls to head to the first day of school in a flashy, sequined shirt like that! (Heh, I said balls...) Bella has quite the confidence in her self. Love it!!

And congrats on a little quiet time during the day! =o)

LaVonne said...

Yuck! First day of school already. I just hate when summer is over :)

Blessings and Happy Week!

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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