My mother-in-law doesn't get my sense of humor, which really is too bad because I think she might enjoy my company more if she did.
One of their neighbors was having a party on Saturday and Tim, the kids and I were invited. Now, this neighbor has a large gorgeous backyard, with a nice-sized pool and plenty of space for the kids to run around.
Every 10 minutes, my mother-in-law would come over to me, looking panic-stricken and say, "Have you seen the kids? Where are the kids?"
At one point, I was talking to one of the other neighbors, who also has young children, when my mother-in-law said to me (for the 6th time in 1 hour), "Where are the kids?"
Stretching my neck past her, I looked towards the pool. She asked, "Do you see them?"
I replied, "No, I was just checking to see if they're at the bottom of the pool, which they're not. So obviously the kids are fine and off having fun somewhere."
The neighbor started laughing, nodding her head in agreement. She said, "That's exactly my attitude, too! I totally get it!"
My MIL just stared at me, straight-faced and as serious as someone who doesn't find it the slight bit hysterical when a 3-year old drops his plate of chili on the ground and shouts loudly, "Oh shit!"
I shrugged my shoulders and said, "What?! You didn't think the pool comment was even just a little bit funny?" The unexpressive look on her face stated the obvious.
"Well, at least, SHE thought it was funny," I explained, nodding my head towards the neighbor who had laughed at the comment.
Continuing, I argued, "Seriously, the kids are fine. They're not in the pool, which is what would have me the most concerned. Do you want me to go find them AGAIN?"
My MIL nodded her head, as she sat back down in her comfy chair which she had occupied practically the whole time we had been at the party.
"Oh good God," I mumbed under my breath, as I excused myself to locate my children, who were safe and sound playing with the other neighborhood kids near a large tree.
Stunned at my frenzied concern over their whereabouts every 8.5 minutes, Cole asked, "Why do you keep looking for us? We're fine. We're having fun!" The other 3 kids chimed in, "Yeah, we're having a good time. Leave us alone!"
I walked back over to where my MIL was sitting and assured her that the kids were fine. "They're fine...in fact, they specifically told me to leave them alone!"
About an hour later, Tim approached me, looking a little green in the face. He said, "I don't feel so good. I think we're going to have to leave".
As we were packing the kids up, his mother mentioned, "I wonder what's wrong with Tim" and I answered, "Oh, it's probably just the poison I slipped him in his drink on the way down here."
Again, she just looked at me, seemingly disgusted with my sick sense of humor. I followed it up with, "Well, on the bright side, at least you now know where the kids are, right?"
While we drove home, I said to Tim, "I don't think your mother appreciates my sense of humor."
He asked, "How do you know?"
I simply answered, "I know. Trust me, I just know."
And, really, it's such a shame, isn't it? Wouldn't the world be such a happier place if we all had a a little bit of dark humor in us?
Let's talk about lunches... yours, not kids
1 hour ago