Sunday, August 22, 2010

Well, at least SHE thought it was funny...

My mother-in-law doesn't get my sense of humor, which really is too bad because I think she might enjoy my company more if she did.

One of their neighbors was having a party on Saturday and Tim, the kids and I were invited. Now, this neighbor has a large gorgeous backyard, with a nice-sized pool and plenty of space for the kids to run around.

Every 10 minutes, my mother-in-law would come over to me, looking panic-stricken and say, "Have you seen the kids? Where are the kids?"

At one point, I was talking to one of the other neighbors, who also has young children, when my mother-in-law said to me (for the 6th time in 1 hour), "Where are the kids?"

Stretching my neck past her, I looked towards the pool. She asked, "Do you see them?"

I replied, "No, I was just checking to see if they're at the bottom of the pool, which they're not. So obviously the kids are fine and off having fun somewhere."

The neighbor started laughing, nodding her head in agreement. She said, "That's exactly my attitude, too! I totally get it!"

My MIL just stared at me, straight-faced and as serious as someone who doesn't find it the slight bit hysterical when a 3-year old drops his plate of chili on the ground and shouts loudly, "Oh shit!"

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "What?! You didn't think the pool comment was even just a little bit funny?" The unexpressive look on her face stated the obvious.

"Well, at least, SHE thought it was funny," I explained, nodding my head towards the neighbor who had laughed at the comment.

Continuing, I argued, "Seriously, the kids are fine. They're not in the pool, which is what would have me the most concerned. Do you want me to go find them AGAIN?"

My MIL nodded her head, as she sat back down in her comfy chair which she had occupied practically the whole time we had been at the party.

"Oh good God," I mumbed under my breath, as I excused myself to locate my children, who were safe and sound playing with the other neighborhood kids near a large tree.

Stunned at my frenzied concern over their whereabouts every 8.5 minutes, Cole asked, "Why do you keep looking for us? We're fine. We're having fun!" The other 3 kids chimed in, "Yeah, we're having a good time. Leave us alone!"

I walked back over to where my MIL was sitting and assured her that the kids were fine. "They're fine...in fact, they specifically told me to leave them alone!"

About an hour later, Tim approached me, looking a little green in the face. He said, "I don't feel so good. I think we're going to have to leave".

As we were packing the kids up, his mother mentioned, "I wonder what's wrong with Tim" and I answered, "Oh, it's probably just the poison I slipped him in his drink on the way down here."

Again, she just looked at me, seemingly disgusted with my sick sense of humor. I followed it up with, "Well, on the bright side, at least you now know where the kids are, right?"

While we drove home, I said to Tim, "I don't think your mother appreciates my sense of humor."

He asked, "How do you know?"

I simply answered, "I know. Trust me, I just know."

And, really, it's such a shame, isn't it? Wouldn't the world be such a happier place if we all had a a little bit of dark humor in us?


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45 comments:

Meathead said...

YES! Yes it would! Dark humor, morbid humor, whatever.
The second someone 'new' makes a crack that non dark humored person (aka someone with either no sense of humor imo)wouldn't get, I often find myself telling them that I love them. Can't help myself.

Have I ever told you that I love you? 'Cause I do!

Stacie said...

I agree! It would definitely be a better place! :-)

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

She may never get you but that's okay. She just doesn't know how to look beyond the obvious.

Hope Tim is feeling better.

Buckeroomama said...

It's sad that she doesn't "get" you... Her loss. :)

CodyAnne. said...

What a bummer! I love your sense of humor :)

Karen & Gerard Zemek said...

I bet she's very worried about Tim now too after that last remark. How funny you are!

When did I become my Mom said...

Lol. That woman is so cursing you out in her head. Or thinking clever things to tell you long after the moment has passed.

You watch, it's all gonna come bursting out one of these days and you and Tim are gonna laugh and make her cry.

Poor lady! :-)

I love ur humour. U crack me up!

When did I become my Mom said...

Lol. That woman is so cursing you out in her head. Or thinking clever things to tell you long after the moment has passed.

You watch, it's all gonna come bursting out one of these days and you and Tim are gonna laugh and make her cry.

Poor lady! :-)

I love ur humour. U crack me up!

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

As long as Tim gets your sense of humor, that's all that matters! (That, and maybe developing a tolerance for that poison you sometimes slip in his drink!) :)

Tina... said...

your mother in law needs one of two things, either she needs a hug or she needs her bottom dropped out....if you know what i mean.

Merri Ann said...

I agree with your MIL ... you need to watch your kids more. How dare you have fun while your kids are alive!

:)) Have a great 2.5 hours today !!

Jen said...

Yes, yes it would.

Mighty M said...

Haha - that's awesome!! I love your humor!!

Nobodys Nothings said...

you and i would get along wonderfully! i completely agree. (and i thought it was pretty funny too) i think that once MILs actually become MILs, they instantly lose their sense of humor.

Nobodys Nothings said...

you and i would get along fabulously! i totally agree AND i would have laughed at your comments. ;) i hope Tim is feeling better!

Nobodys Nothings said...

oops. sorry about the double comments! i thought my first one didn't post. now i'm going to add a third comment to complete my trifecta of mistakes.

Megella said...

Ha! You just got a new reader! :-) I get it.

The Mother said...

If I spent my time worrying about what my MIL thought of me, I'd have had a bleeding ulcer for nearly 30 years.

So I don't. She doesn't know that, though. It's just easier that way.

Tylaine said...

LOL That woulda been hillarious!
Must be an age thing.

Wendy said...

I LOVE it! And feel the same way. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who gets my "odd-sense" of humor. I think it is hilariously funny, while others? Not so much. Oh well, their loss! LOL

Crossed Fingers said...

haha - she should have been hunting your kids down if she was so worried about them. I'm glad you were able to enjoy the party - part of it anyway.

Twins Squared said...

Oh bless you - your MIL is my mother! Who is around me ALL THE TIME! While I cannot imagine her help I have to deal with her obsessed worrying and breathing down my neck non-stop! For 6 years I've been trying to get her to stop and I cannot get through to her. She would rather ruin her relationship with me than risk some crazy fluke horrible thing happening to my kids. She was just like that at the pool this summer, and she came every day. Unfortunately, that kind of humor would have sent her reeling!

Sorry - I made this all about me. :)

Donna said...

I can't imagine going through life without a dry wit, dark sense of humor.

My brother and I shared the same dark sense of humor. My father would moan, grunt on his deathbed (when my brother and I would shared a "watch" together) , and my brother would lean in and suddenly look up and say excitedly, "I think Dad just left ME the house!! " Or some other witty comment. It got to be a running joke between us - and Dad would have loved it.

Seriously - there is NO part of life (or death) that cannot be made better without LAUGHTER!

As further proof, look at how many of US are addicted to your blog! ;-)

Donna said...

um...that would be WITH laughter, not withOUT!


....must. remember. to, proof. before. hitting. submit.

McKenzie said...

I think you have a great sense of humor! I have a very similar one haha. Too bad she doesn't find you funny.

Cindy said...

Oh, so very funny. Dark sarcasm. My favorite!
My 6 y/o is following in my footsteps beautifully...the other night at the dinner table (it's been a couple of weeks since we had an all together at the dinner table kind of meal) all hell was breaking loose. The 2 year olds were screaming for 15 minutes, my husband was impressively holding his 'stuff' together but he was about to snap, my visiting sister was trying to pretend everything was fine, I was about to take the little ones and remove them from the table when my 6 y/o daughter looks up from her plate and says with a perfectly straight face and completely even tone, "It is SO nice to have everyone together for dinner". And goes back to eating. I burst out laughing so hard that I scarred the toddlers silent. Then my girl looks up at me and gives me a sly little smile. Atta girl!

The Ninja said...

LMAO. You sound like me and my humor, which no one seems to get either...it's a burden, but at least I make myself laugh

MiMi said...

Yeah, my MOM doesn't get MY sense of humor sometimes. Which makes me wanna be even MORE "funny." Which freaks her out. It's awesome.

Ms Bibi said...

Well, she's missing out. You had in me stitches with the poison bit,lol.

She truly sounds like my own mother.

Creative Junkie said...

*I* appreciate your sense of humor, Helene. I can't stand it when someone doesn't get me.

Erin said...

I love your sense of humor and honestly, it's the only way I've survived motherhood this long.

p.s. is Tim okay? Did he get sick???

Elizabeth said...

Genius idea of poisoning the hubs to get out of family visit occasions!
Your humour rocks and I totally get it. I have lots of family who complain that I take the piss out of EVERYTHING but hey that is how I cope with this very crazy ride call life.

Rebecca said...

Bahahahaha...see? This is why I should never live any closer to my MIL. She'd hate me even more than she already does (she doesn't say it out loud, but I know it too...I just know it)!

Annie said...

I agree!! Thanks for the laugh!!

brotherlyloveejkp said...

That's awesome! Your MIL needs to lighten up a bit! Glad someone else got a good laugh with you - as did it!!

The Royal Family said...

thanks for the laugh, today I really needed it, I often find myself too busy for blogs even though i'm subscribed but toda i'm trying to relax as it has been pretty stressful around here lately, and that chili bowl comment got me laughing enough my hubs asked if I was ok.

:) Sorry she doesn't get you. LOL

ashley said...

She may not enjoy your sense of humor, but I LOVE it!

Dysfunctional Mom said...

Maybe if she'd been watching her kid better, he wouldn't have gotten sick!
I love your sense of humor, and mine too. Without it, I'd have lost my mind by now!

We live in a Zoo! said...

LOL!!! I think you and I would get along juuuust fine, lol!

Lynn said...

That's fantastic! I have the same sense of humor, and thankfully my mother in law does too. We get along quite well. Sorry yours won't stop harassing you, but it sounds like you got her good!

Nezzy said...

I can so identify....my MIL doesn't appreciate my humor either. Too bad, 'cause I think I'm darn funny and worth a smile or laugh from her every once in a while. 'Guess it's just too much for a chick to ask! Heeehehehe!

God bless ya and have a terrific week. ...and please don't forget to keep 'em safe....(Sorry, 'couldn't help myself ) :o)

shortmama said...

Yeah my MIL doesnt get me either...but thats ok because I think shes a b*tch so we are even

Sarah said...

Very cute. My MIl doesn't get my humor either, which is a bummer, because I think I'm very funny! I love being sarcastic.

Mama Dub said...

You are seriously the best. Please write a book for my to buy! :)

I LOVE your humor and you are great at expressing it though writing as well.

Sadia said...

My mother-in-law and I were meant to be mother and daughter, because we can make each laugh until neither of us can breathe. Half the time, my husband has no idea what we find funny, which just makes us laugh harder. However, it makes riding in a car with one of us driving a somewhat dangerous activity.

My Mum? No sense of humour. At all.

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr



 
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