Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Life sucks when you have no spare time...

Most of my readers are of the female gender, though there are a few males who stumble upon my blog every once in awhile....heck, some of them even stick around to provide emotional support and encouragement to Tim from afar (shout out to This Daddy!)

So, for you ladies...Tim is about to expose a secret that most males won't openly share with a woman. It's one of those unwritten rules.

Are you ready for this juicy secret?

Without fail, a man will only complete a household chore, such as painting and other handyman kind of things, until it's 90% done and then he will move on to the next project...without any hesitation.

Okay, I realize that most of us already KNOW this. I mean, we live it, right? We know our men start projects all the time and sometimes don't bother to see them to fruition.

Before you know it, you have most of the household projects completed...but only part way.  So,  if you're like me, you have half of the wood flooring done, part of the tile in the laundry room finished, the wainscoting in one of the bathrooms somewhat completed.

The real question is WHY do they do this? I don't know about you, but that's what I really want to know.

So I pushed a little further, after Tim had revealed that deep, dark gem of wisdom.

He stammered.

"Well?" I prodded. "Enlighten me, please!"

He explained, "Uh,'s because you nag me endlessly to keep doing new projects."

I shook my head, refusing to take the blame for what the entire male race probably sees as a convenient excuse.

"No, that's not true, at all!  When's the last time I mentioned half the things that need to get done around here?!  Don't try and blame me!" I argued.

Tim smiled, as he often does when he's at a loss for words.

"Oh, I see," I replied. "So this really isn't a SECRET, per se? It's more like an excuse."

Tim sat down and appeared to be lost in thought for a few minutes.  Then he spoke up, "Okay, what it boils down to is that I just don't have the time.  I don't have one ounce of spare time to finish anything around here."

"Come on, now" I replied. "I'm not buying that.  You could make the time if you really wanted to."

He pointed towards the kids, "Yeah but THEY require so much attention.  Most of the weekend is wasted away just taking care of their basic needs."

Well, I did have to give him that.  Trying to get the 4 kids to get dressed, brush their teeth and eat breakfast on a Saturday morning can take up to 3 hours sometimes, depending on how unruly they want to be.

So Sunday morning rolled around and poor Tim, who has absolutely NO spare time, spent an entire hour watching The Justice League cartoon on Netflix.

Yes, entire 60 minutes down the drain.  It took sheer willpower for me to keep my mouth clenched shut. 

Take a close look at the picture above. 

Does he look stressed out at all?  No. 

Does he look like a man whose children are requiring more of him than should be expected?  Definitely not. 

Does he look like an 8-year old boy trapped in a man's body?  Absolutely.

And we all know how important cartoons are.  I mean, God forbid, he miss an old episode of The Justice League...will they save the world yet again or will they be destined to a life of loneliness as outsiders of the human race?

All I can conclude from this is that men have extremely short attention spans.  They become bored easily and must find another new challenge before their brain cells wither away and die.

But what happens when ALL the projects are 90% done...then what? 

Well, I think the above picture says it all.

Funny thing, though....I expected him to get up off the sofa after watching only 90% of the show but he continued to lay there long after the credits had rolled.  Of course. 

Life sucks when you have no spare time. Registered & Protected


Anonymous said...

Yes. I'm sure we are married to the same man. The TO watched football ALL weekend but the deck isn't finished, he has stacks of junk in the office, and I can't tell you how much painting to do.

Tesa said...

Thank you for writing this! I'm so glad to know that my husband isn't the only one who half-finishes projects. I have to say the fact that Tim gets them 90% done is very impressive to me. My husband is good for about 50%

It's so frustrating but I love the funny spin you put on it and that you caught him watching the Justice League. Hopefully he realized he was caught and got some work done!

Twinpossible said...

Helene. i don't know how old your husband is, and I hope mine can never find this comment, but I'd be doing flips in mid air, if he could complete 90% of a task, though I do know exactly what you mean. But at the getting ripe age of 48 (EEK lol), getting the project even started, is the biggest roadblock. It seems like all talk no action. I thought men accused us of being that way. HA HA!!

Me, when I start something, I want it finished, and I do it. Not like 10 yrs from today. I don't get guys, everything is 'hard' for them. When I was pregnant with the girls, I waited for that man to get on to helping me with the nursery, early when I was more comfortable, and I waited and waited, and waited, did a bunch of it myself, and he didn't do anything until like 34 weeks, and with twins...34 weeks?? Please I didn't feel like doing much of anything, but I DID, and it was rush, rush, exactly what I did not want! (Grrr)

You are right about the time it takes to get kids out the door. My duo doesn't have any teeth to brush yet, I can imagine the insanity once they do and are fully mobile, trying to get them up, ready and out.

Right now I at least add an extra 45 minutes to the getting out routine, for possible last minute bottles, diaper changes, and cutsey dress up, with headbands, and diaper bag packing, the I got the 5 yo who is too lazy to brush her own hair, or prepare her clothes (proper clothes that is), and pry my son away from the boob tube. We still wind up late 80% or more of the time.

HA! Look at that picture of your husband. BUSTED! I haven't gotten to sit back and watch an hour of TV, uninterrupted, since.........Ummm....a long, long time:) Now it's your turn.

Show him the blog, and say Shelly says so if need be, because marriage is a 50-50 partnership, so you get him to watch the youngins, then you get your TV on. It's only fair!!

Eva Gallant said...

Too funny, and sadly, too true!

BigSis said...

I have the same problem! Work really gets in the way of my reading and TV viewing!

Evonne said...

Sad, but true!

Getting my husband to finish something can be so hard, but what's even harder is getting him to start the darn project in the first place!

Jen said...

So can this be fixed because it drives me crazy.

Nobodys Nothings said...

*sigh* yep. we built a house once (addition, actually) and actually lived there for three years, moved out, and my husband never finished it. i have purchased materials for shelving sitting in my living room... for the past month. yep, it's definitely a man thing. it's really, really hard to finish things without the time to do so. *pfffttt*

Annie said...

Hahahahaha!!!!! And poor Tim he don't have any "spare time" but you had the evidence.

The Boob Nazi said...

I wish I had someone to do 90% of my projects. haha Instead I just do 5% of them myself and wish someone would magically come over and finish them for me.

Jodi said...

That is a classic post! I love it!

McKenzie said...

So true about their brain cells withering away and dying haha. Love this post!

Christina said...

Yep, you should see my house! ;)

This Daddy said...

OH man, Blah blah waaa waaa waaaa.

The reason we start stuff and don't finish it is because as women say you all reserve the right to change your minds. So we wait till you wives make your mind up and then we finish the job. Why finish the job and then have you all complain about it.

Plus we save all of our finishing energy for the bedroom, where the most important job gets finished.

And another thing, if we take the time to finish the job it would be lss time to spend with our awesome wives and kids.

Tim - You DA Man....Lay there like a champ and watch whatever you want.

I also have no spare time but I make sure I fit in all that I need to like the important games and shows while the wife, slaves over a hot stove and bathtub and washes all of the cloth diapers.

You know im right and you love This Daddy.

Thanks Helene for the mention and leave Tim alone

MiMi said...

OMGosh. I'm loving that you got photographic evidence!!! HAHAHA!!!

Cascia said...

That is so funny and it doesn't surprise me a bit. My husband hates doing household projects. He also can't stand mowing the lawn but he doesn't trust me to use the lawn mower. He thinks I will hurt myself, so we always have the tallest grass in the neighborhood. He'll fold laundry and do the dishes, though.

Anonymous said...

I do have to say that I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has to deal with this.

The Mother said...

Somehow, the jerks seem to think that, since they "work" all day, they should get down-time, even though there's a ton of stuff to be done.

'Cause what we do is not work. And we don't need down-time.

Twins Squared said...

Sadly I'm probably the one that doesn't finish projects around here. But my husband definitely has more sitting around time than me! I get so mad that he'll sit in our room and snooze for 2 hours on a Sat or Sun while I can barely keep my eyes open but I'm chasing the kids around since they don't nap anymore. I remember you had a post once of Tim and how he could sleep through anything. So true!

Heather said...

Yep, that about sums it up!

Nezzy said...

....and here I've been thinkin' all these years it was because if things were left incomplete "Farm Boy" knew I'd finally kick in and finish the project myself.

Yep, this chick can hammer, Spackle saw and drill with the best of 'em. The lumber that lay on the carport almost two years finally made it into the backyard gate by me adorned with a cute little cut out heart that would have never happened if hubby did it. That's just one of many projects...I've kinda grown fond of power tools.

God bless, have a great day and whatever ya do, don't let Tim read this! :o)

Rhiannon said...

oh thank God I though I was the only one!!! I give you credit for keeping your mouth shut, I CANT. I see him sitting around watching tv and I'm like WTH?! You dont have time to do this or that but you have time to watch TV?!?! Oh for heavens sake!

Shell said...

Mine insists he needs to get his rest and relaxation time before he could possibly do anything.

Could someone please tell me where MY time is like that?

You could say blogging, but I've been interrupted four times while writing this comment.

wait- 5.

shortmama said...

yeah what a rough life he has

StarTraci said...

Well, at least he committed fully to the Justice League and didn't leave it unfinished! LOL!

So true, so true.

My husband is worse, however. He only gets to about 70 percent complete. SO enjoy your 90 percent.


Anonymous said...

Hysterical. You make me laugh so hard! I so appreciate your blog!

Mighty M said...

Women around the world (at least the ones with cable) are all cheering with agreement right now!

Missy (Two Little Monkeys) said...

I thought this was funny & so true! PJ on the other hand when I showed him & was telling him how funny you were - looked at me like "Wait, I never leave a project hanging." And so the discussion began : )

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Retro doesn't half-finish jobs, he just hires someone to do them. So he won't miss any carttons.

Jenny said...

That is hilarious!

Luckily, my husband is very good about completing projects. However, we don't do big projects ourselves. He's a computer programmer and is good at small electrical or basic household things, but flooring he'd say to have someone else do it!

However, I've seen the 90% done problem with my BIL, they moved in their house 5 years ago and the trim still isn't all the way painted. Heck, they could use to give the trim they did do a new coat after all of this time!

Natalie said...

Uh huh. Yeah. Poor, poor guys. Mine never has any free time either. The same guy that watched football all day Saturday, Sunday, and again on Monday night.

Amazing aren't they?!

Michelle said...

Too funny! Now here's my question - can you ask him this for me? Why is it that THEY expect to come home to a clean house, but if we're out working or doing something for the kids, it's okay for them to let everyone, including themselves, trash the house so that WE come home to a house that's messier than it was when we left it? Am I missing the logic in that? You expect to come home to a clean house, but it's okay for me to come home to one that looks like it's been hit by a tornado. Any answers? That one has been bugging me for 15 years!


Crossed Fingers said...

haha - my husband is anal retentive and a perfectionist. He gets the projects done 100% and will take as long as he needs sanding that wall until it looks perfect. When I say "That's good enough" he'll say "Nope, not yet." It can drive me crazy at times.

He on the other hand, would probably say I do things 90% and move on. I do things the "good enough" way.

The Lane Family said...

Oh, Helene my husband is so there with Tim. He is always saying he has no time as he watches a movie, plays on the computer or just sleeps half of the day away on Saturday and Sunday.

I say to them...well you will never have enough time if you just sit around and do nothing :)

Anonymous said...

Relaxation time does not equal spare time to guys - My husbnd wouldn't say that - however, my boys are not yet sophisticated enough to cover - so I've figured it out:) LOL

Sadly, I'm the one who starts the painting job - and let's the perfectionist finish up.LOL - Two can play at that game:)

Karen Peterson said...

Unfortunately, I don't think this problem is limited to the menfolk. I am guilty of not finishing a lot of things. And then I complain about how busy I am and how I have no time for anything. Right at this minute I've got an overflowing laundry basket begging for attention and where I am? Sitting in front of the TV with my laptop.

Tami TwinFactory said...

Uh oh... I just shot milk out of my nose. And I don't remember the last time I drank any.

My husband also does 90% of the project and blames the fact that we've do the Double Doubles to watch over, etc.

But this is where I have one over you... my husband will actually watch only 90% of the TV show he's so engrossed in. He will literally stand up at 9:54 and say, OK, I'm headed off to bed now.

Are you KIDDING ME?! Everyone knows that after the show is almost over and the commercials roll, that something funny happens in the remaining 2 minutes of the show before the top of the hour.


Megan said...

My goodness he looks so busy. Gosh, I hope he doesn't strain anything working so hard.

My husband gives me that crap and blames it on my nagging and him "just not having time" but it amazes me that he has time to work on his car, or look at car-porn on the internet.

Men are just so very pitiful <-- pls note the sarcasm! lol

Kim said...

The roles are reversed at my house. My husband has a work ethic like I can't believe. I'm great at starting; not so good at finishing a project. I mean, come on! My blog ain't gonna write itself . . .

Mama Dub said...

Hahah. AMEN SISTA! Amazing how we are So different.
Also.. just noticed that you have 1-2-3-4 followers. How fun!

natalee said...

LOL!!!!!! Are we married to the same man???

beemii said...

You have been tagged to participate in an 8 questions Meme please go to:

to play=)

Rebecca said...

I envy his level of comfort in that much! Husband uses the kids as an excuse too, but then he goes to the gym for 1.5-2 hours. Blah...

ModernMom said...

Bwhaha They must learn this skill in Hubby school. Sigh, we have the exact same problem going on here.

Midwest Mommy said...

I think it's hilarious you posted the picture!

Erin said...

Wait, did you sneak into my house over the weekend? Same thing goes on over here! LMAO!

"Cottage By The Sea" said...

Words of wisdom from someone who has experienced this man syndrome her whole life (together 31 years). I doesn't ever get cured and even if you pay contractors to do work they also only get 90 percent, (if you're lucky) finished. It's a guy rule or something.

I figure that if the children are alive when my husband gets home at the end of the day, I've done my job.

----Roseanne Barr

Blog Design by Likely Lola