It's very rare that I'm speechless...much to Tim's disappointment.
The other night I was sitting at the kitchen counter with my laptop, checking through my blog stats, when I noticed some traffic coming my way from WE Magazine's site....a link mentioning something about top women bloggers of 2010.
Naturally, my curiosity was peaked so I clicked on the link. And there it was in black and white. My blog....little ole' me....included in the list of 101 women bloggers to watch, according to WE Magazine.
Holy crap. I had to read it repeatedly to fully digest this. Seriously, me?
I felt like I had won an Emmy or something. Tim had just walked out the door and I ran out to the garage to catch him but the garage door was already closing. I didn't realize he had seen me trying to get his attention until the phone rang.
"Did you want something from the store?" he asked.
"No, you're not gonna believe this. I mean, I can't believe it. It's...uh, well, I had no idea...uh, I can't believe this," I blabbered breathlessly into the phone.
"What?!" he screamed back, obviously becoming frustrated with my inability to express my thoughts.
Gathering my wits, I explained, "Well, there's this magazine for women called WE and every year they put together a list of the top 100 bloggers to watch for..."
Tim interrupted, "Let me guess....you made the list".
Damn him. It was just like him to rain on my parade. I wanted to be the one to say the words, "I'm on the list".
It reminded me of the time when I finally told my mom I was pregnant with our 2nd set of twins. I had said, "I have HUGE news...you're not gonna believe it!"
She stated, "Hmmm, what? You're pregnant with triplets?" Kind of deflated my bubble a little bit, know what I mean?
Then Tim said, "That's awesome, sweetie. Maybe with some of the other recent recognition your blog has gotten you, you'll be able to make some more money from it".
I shook my head in silence. He'll never understand.
I mean, yeah, it would be amazing to bring in the kind of big money that Dooce earns from blogging but that's not my sole purpose.
I've earned what I call our "pizza money"....just a few dollars here and there, which allows us to enjoy bi-monthly dinners at the local pizza place. And I'm cool with that little amount.
However, what means the most is the recognition...it lights me up in a way that can hardly be explained to someone who doesn't have the same passion for it that I do.
When someone else notices and appreciates what I put out in the blogosphere...a piece of work which I poured my heart and soul into (along with a healthy dose of sarcasm)...well, it's like a warm welcome of gratitude.
To me, it means what I had to say mattered to others...it resonated with them, it spoke to them, it moved them. Perhaps it made them laugh, smile or cry...it made them FEEL something. Somehow and in some way, my words had an impact.
And in my little world, the feelings of acknowledgement and acceptance from seeing my blog included on a top 10 or top 100 list or being asked to contribute a piece of my writing to a charitable cause is worth its own weight in gold.
Long after the money is gone, the written word still lingers for everyone to read, including my children someday when they're older.
Well, I'll be darned....I guess I'm not so speechless after all.
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